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Yuuri awakens slowly, held in the arms of Victor Nikiforov. The future father of his 102.1 children, Yuuri dazedly remembers, feeling much less panicked about the situation than he had been previously. His whole body feels heavy, but it’s a comfortable kind of heavy. He is limply draped over Victor, the relaxing sound of his heartbeat still sounding against his ear as he rests his head on Victor’s chest.
Victor’s arms are wrapped around Yuuri’s back, the embrace protective but slackened as the man remains asleep. His arms are so strong and firmーYuuri smiles as he remembers being carried in those arms. As wonderful as that had felt, being held like this feels just as lovely, perhaps even moreso. Not being carried means Yuuri has the ability to move, to feel every inch of Victor’s skin on his. And Yuuri can initiate touch.
Victor’s skin is soft, smooth, everything Yuuri had always imagined it would be, and now he has it all under his fingertips as he traces mindless patterns on Victor’s arm. Victor remains in the embrace of sleep, serenity written on his perfect face, smoothed out and peaceful. His hair is somehow still immaculate, his bangs falling so gracefully over his eyes. He looks like a sleeping prince, waiting to be awakened by his true love’s kiss.
Unconsciously, Yuuri traces Victor’s lips, pink and slightly parted and oh-so tempting.
It’s unfair, Yuuri thinks, that Victor is going to be the father of his children and the two of them have yet to even kiss. It’s quite rude, actually, for Victor to knock him up so suddenly and without warning, without consent. Surely an apology is in order. And Yuuri knows just what he wants as that apology.
Yuuri leans in, ready to make good on what he wants. Close up like this, he can see the fine, sweeping hairs of Victor’s silver eyelashes. Yuuri’s breath catches in his chest at the sight. How is it possible for one man to be so goddamn beautiful?
He inches his face even closer to Victor, their lips just a hair’s breadth apart. Victor’s soft exhales ghost over Yuuri’s skin, timing with the steady rise and fall of his chest. Yuuri’s heartbeat thrums faster and faster with every second he hesitates, realizing what he’s about to do.
“Just do it,” a part of him snaps at himself. “He already got you pregnant. A little kiss is nothing compared to that.”
Yuuri releases the breath he had been holding and sets his resolve.
And then blue eyesーstriking and gorgeous, like crystals catching the sunlightーare revealed from behind eyelids weighed down with sleep.
“…Yuuri?”
Yuuri remains frozen in place, unable to move, lips still so very close to where he wants them, and yet so far away.
And then they become much further away, as Yuuri frantically retreats.
“S-sorry,” Yuuri stammers, cheeks burning. “I was just… um…” wanting to kiss you he doesn’t say, lacking the courage. “Yeah…” he trails off lamely, rubbing the back of his neck as he ducks his head.
When he finds the bravery to glance up, Victor gifts him a smile, warm and intimate. It’s a smile that Yuuri isn’t used to seeing from him, but he is far from opposed to the idea of seeing it more often.
“Good morning, Yuuri,” Victor greets, pushing himself up to a seated position. He thankfully makes no comment on what Yuuri had just been doing. “Did you sleep well?”
Still blushing, Yuuri nods.
“How are you feeling?” Victor asks.
“Fine…” Yuuri mumbles. He has a mild headache, and his insides feel cold now that he’s no longer curled up against the warmth of Victor’s body. But luckily he has yet to experience morning sickness or any other discomforts that child-bearing brings.
“Can I get you anything?” Victor offers. “Tea? Water? More blankets?”
It’s then that Yuuri notices he’s shivering. He nods again, words lodging in his throat.
“Yes to all three then, I guess,” Victor says with a smile, making to get up. On his way out of the room he leans in close and tips his forehead against Yuuri’s, eliciting a quiet gasp. Their faces are so close again, and it would only take one small movement to close the distance and bring their lips together. Yuuri holds his breath, waiting to see what Victor will do.
“I think your fever’s gone up,” Victor notes before pulling back, much to Yuuri’s disappointment. “You still feel very warm, and your cheeks are flushed.”
Yuuri doesn’t mention that his cheeks are flushed for an entirely different reason.
Seemingly not expecting a reply, Victor just hums and says something about getting a more accurate reading with the thermometer. Then he exits the room, leaving Yuuri on the bed, heart pounding and cheeks aflame.
All air rushes out of Yuuri’s chest, a breath Yuuri hadn’t even noticed he had been holding. He and Victor had been so close… Yuuri places a hand over his still-fluttering heart, willing it to calm, but it only retains its rapid pace as Yuuri entertains the fantasy of claiming Victor’s lips like he so desperately wants to.
What would it feel like, to have them moving so smoothly against his own? What would it taste like? What kind of sounds would Victor make? And would Victor like it as much as Yuuri would, eagerly returning the affection as they share airー
Yuuri slaps both of his palms over his reddened cheeks, abruptly stopping that train of thought. He’s getting far too ahead of himself. He has other things he should be thinking about, like his current condition, and how this will affect his future moving on.
There’s still so much Yuuri is unsure of. Though he’s certain that if Victor remains at his side, they can figure it out together. 102.1 sounds like a lot, but they’ll just have to take it one step at a time. Maybe if they bought a large plot of land, an acreage of some sort, for all of their children to run free and play on. But still, that doesn’t solve the problem of the two of them having to care for over 100 newborn infants. And even before that, there’s the issue of actual childbirth. Yuuri breathes through the swell of anxiety at the thought. If this situation is anything like the fanfiction that Yuuri used to read, thenー
“Found it!” Victor announces, reentering the room. “I found the thermometer!”
Yuuri snaps his head up, watching as Victor plops down onto the bed next to him, oblivious to his slowly-festering inner turmoil.
“Open up,” Victor directs, guiding the thermometer into Yuuri’s mouth. Wordlessly he accepts, closing his lips around the device. He patiently waits for it to finish, though he can’t help but wonder why they even need to do this when he already did last night.
At the cue of the beep, Yuuri at last removes the thermometer from his mouth. His eyes widen as he catches sight of the reading. His hands shake and his breath starts to come a little faster. This can’t be happening.
“Yuuri? Yuuri, what is it? What’s wrong?”
His eyes remain glued to the numbers, as if staring them down will cause the device to reconsider its evaluation. But much to his dismay, the display still reads a solid 103.2.
“There’s another one, another baby inside of me…” Yuuri says, voice hushed and trembling. “I’mーI’m even more pregnant!” 102.1 he could do, maybe, but this?!
Yuuri struggles to control his breathing, and is vaguely aware of Victor slipping the device from his hands. Yuuri gasps, the simple brush of Victor’s skin on his sparking the realization of what’s happening: Yuuri got pregnant without Victor even touching him. From zero babies straight to 102.1, just overnight. And now that Victor has been cuddling him, touching him, been in such close proximity, his eros is only impregnating Yuuri further. And will only continue to impregnate him further.
At this rate, if Yuuri is around Victor for any longer, he’s not sure he’s going to survive.
“103.2… What is that in Celsius?” Victor muses aloud to himself, then shakes his head. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound good. We should get that down. I’ll get you some cold water and a wash cloth. Just lay down,” he says, placing a hand on Yuuri’s chest to gently ease his back to the mattress.
Yuuri flinches at the touch as if burned, instead scuttling back against the headboard.
Victor withdraws his hand immediately, confusion and worry written all over his features. “Yuuri?”
“Stay away from me!” Yuuri shouts, voice wavering and chest heaving. Victor shouldn’t be touching him, it’s too dangerous. “If you come any closer, I’ll burst!”
“Yuuri…” Victor reaches out a very tentative hand towards him. Yuuri squeezes his eyes shut with a whimper, unable to put any more distance between him and Victor. Victor who sighs, his hand never making contact with Yuuri. “I only want to help you…”
“Please,” Yuuri whispers. “Just leave me alone…”
The room is silent for a long moment. Then the bed creaks as Victor gets up. Even with his eyes closed, Yuuri can follow Victor’s movement around the room, until he eventually leaves, quietly closing the door on his way out.
Yuuri cracks his eyes open, finding that he is indeed alone. For a moment, Yuuri contemplates what Victor is doing, where he’s going now that Yuuri has kicked him out. A part of him feels bad that he did kick Victor out so abruptly, but that regret is overcast by the relief he feels knowing that he’s safe for now.
103.2. Okay. He can still manage this. If they get the acreage Yuuri was thinking about earlier, then surely one more addition to the family wouldn’t be too significant? Not that this new child won’t be significant to Yuuri; he’s not the kind of parent to play favourites like that.
But how does Yuuri even know that he won’t get pregnant again, just from being close to Victor?
Yuuri sprawls out on the bed, a tired sigh escaping his lips. Has Yuuri’s bed always been this spacious? This empty? He and Victor had fit together so perfectly on it. And Yuuri swears he has never slept better than he had then, with Victor’s arms wrapped around him and his heart a steady and reassuring beat against Yuuri’s ear.
The silence in the room now is deafening, drilling into Yuuri’s ears and making his head ache even further, and making his heart ache most of all.
He had cast Victor out of his room for his own good. Yuuri getting any more babies than the 103.2 he has now would only cause trouble for the both of them. But that doesn’t change the fact that he wants him here.
Fighting back tears, Yuuri pushes the thoughts from his mind. He shuts his eyes and forces them to stay that way until sleep eventually takes him.
～
Fire, burning under his skin and encasing his whole body greets Yuuri when he next wakes up.
With an agonized groan, he further spreads his body out on the bed. Everything hurts. His throat is sore and painfully dry. The headache he had fallen asleep withーa dull pulsing painーhas since morphed into what feels like railroad spikes being driven into his skull. His earlier chills are gone, replaced with sweltering heat. He peels the blanket off his boiling body and tosses it onto the floor. Earlier, Victor had said he was going to get another blanket for Yuuri, but he swears he feels his internal temperature increase at the sole thought.
He doesn’t need another blanket. What he needs is an ice bath. And perhaps a throat transplant.
He’s caught off guard by a sudden set of sneezes, the action sending pain shooting through his already-aching head. Ugh, and now he needs tissues too.
And he doesn’t need it, per se, but a cuddle buddy would be nice, for comfort. He normally would settle for Makkachin, but the dog is sadly nowhere to be found. Though now, after the experience of last night and this morning, Yuuri feels like her curly brown fur doesn’t quite compare to Victor’s smooth and soft skin and how nice it felt on his own.
Yuuri again forces the thoughts of Victor from his mind as he blindly fumbles a hand over to the bedside table. His fingers wrap around something small and made of plastic, then without any memory of putting it there, the device ends up in Yuuri’s mouth. Victor seemed to believe that doing this was important, so Yuuri’s body appears to be acting on autopilot. Yuuri smiles at the thought that maybe it’s his motherly (fatherly?) instincts kicking in, to ensure the health of his dear future children. All 103.2 of them.
Or maybe not that many, Yuuri thinks as he reads the digital display.
102.2
Yuuri blinks. Rubs his eyes. Looks again. It’s still the same.
An emotion Yuuri cannot identify begins to manifest in his chest.
Okay. This is… this is a good thing, right? Right. It must be. Not having Victor here with Yuuri is working and is making it so Yuuri doesn’t get any more pregnant. Yes, this has to be good. Less babies is good!
Yuuri gasps as the realization hits him. He has less babies now. Not as many as he did before. Which can only mean…
“I killed my baby,” Yuuri whispers to himself in hushed horror.
He clamps a hand over his mouth to muffle the sob that wants to come out. He’s a terrible parent and an even worse human being. He was a fool to think he could do this alone.
But how could he not? Having Victor with him would only mean more trouble. It would only be more dangerous and would make things worse.
But could it really be worse than this?
Tears run hot down Yuuri’s burning cheeks. He makes no effort to wipe them away and lets them flow freely and without restraint.
So many emotions tug at his heart and leave him aching. Regret, at having been so cold to Victor and sending him away. Loss, at the life he never got the chance to know. Fear, at the uncertainty of what is to come. Helplessness, when he dares to imagine his future. But most of all he feels overwhelming loneliness as he suffers with skin too hot in a bed too cold.
Goddamn it all, he wants Victor! He wants Victor to hold him and stroke his hair and tell him everything will be alright, because Victor will make it alright.
But… Victor probably hates him now. He wouldn’t be surprised if Victor has already packed his bags and is boarding the next plane to Russia. Yuuri wipes his tears, refusing to let any more fall. Maybe if he hurries, he can still catch Victor before he leaves. Then he can fix everything.
Yuuri sets his resolve and sits up and is just about to get out of bed when, by some miracle, the door slowly opens revealing none other than Victor himself. In his hands he carries a tray. He makes no move towards the bed, instead he remains by the door as if afraid to even enter the room.
“I brought you some food,” Victor says by way of greeting. “If you want some, that is.” He holds up the items in his hands with an unsure expression on his face, at least until a smile breaks out on Yuuri’s face.
Relief emerges on Victor’s features, mirroring the lightness in Yuuri’s chest at knowing Victor isn’t leaving him after all. He approaches the bed and sits down next to Yuuri, placing the tray in his lap. Yuuri doesn’t even flinch. He’s far too preoccupied trying to fend off a sudden wave of tears.
Upon closer inspection Yuuri sees the tray holds food: a bowl of soup, some rice, and a steaming cup of what looks to be tea. Yuuri’s throat feels tight in a way that has nothing to do with his illness. Did Victor make all of this himself?
“I had your mother help me,” Victor says, as if reading Yuuri’s mind. “She made the soup, and also the rice. I made the rest.”
Yuuri suppresses a laugh. “The only other thing on there is tea,” he points out.
“Which I worked very hard to make,” Victor says, feigning offense at Yuuri’s lack of faith in his cooking skills.
This time Yuuri is unable to hold his laughter back, and when it falls from his lips all of the tension and uncertainty from before instantly melts away. His previous fears abated, he can only find comfort in Victor’s presence next to him, not even worried in the slightest about the closeness of their proximity.
“We’ll get through this,” Yuuri says, to Victor and also to himself. “Together.”
Victor flashes him a smile. “Together,” he agrees, and Yuuri lets himself believe it. Whether they have 100 babies, or 1000, or perhaps even more, if Victor is at his side then he knows with certainty that there is nothing to fear.
～
Yuuri wakes up to a dry mouth, an aching throat and an uncomfortable sheen of dried sweat on his skin. He is no longer stuck in a haze of unfiltered thoughts and words and the endless cycle of alternating chills and heat. His head feels clearer than the previous many hours, but it’s that very gap in his memory that leaves him feeling disorientated.
“Victor?” Yuuri croaks, voice an absolute wreck. He winces, more at the sound than the pain. “Can y’get me some water?”
The words catch the wrong way, sending him into a fit of coughs that do absolutely nothing to ease the fire in his throat. He’s helpless to do anything but curl in on himself as the fit dishes out its worst.
A hand on his arm gently but firmly eases him so he’s sitting up, and Yuuri feels the tightness gripping his chest ease. With the change in position, he manages to catch his breath, panting as he slumps against Victor’s shoulder.
“Here,” Victor says as he brings a glass of water to Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri takes the glass, relief flooding through him as the cool liquid runs down his battered throat. Victor’s hand comes to rub comforting circles on Yuuri’s back, and Yuuri lets him, melting a little at the touch.
“Thanks,” Yuuri breathes, and then very nearly stops breathing as he comes back to his senses. “You’re… in my bed with me…” Yuuri notices, a blush rising in his cheeks.
“Yes. I have been for the past day or so,” Victor says. “Do you not remember?”
Yuuri tries to think back, but his memories are unclear, lost to the haze of fever, and he can’t make sense of them. “No, not really.”
Victor laughs.
Tosses his head back and laughs.
Dread settles like a leaden weight in the pit of Yuuri’s stomach.
“You were quite out if it,” Victor says, mischief in his eyes, unmasked amusement in his smile.
“Oh god,” Yuuri moans. He really doesn’t want to know the answer, but still he can’t help but ask, “…Did I say anything weird?”
A wicked grin breaks out on Victor’s face. “You thought the thermometer was some kind of pregnancy test. You were positively convinced my eros got you pregnant.”
Yuuri buries his face under the covers with an anguished groan, wanting the bedsheets to swallow him whole so he never has to see another human being again, especially not Victor.
“Please let me die.” Yuuri’s face, still hidden, is bright red and blazing, and not from fever.
“Aww, but I don’t want you to die, Yuuri!” Victor says. “You’re far too cute.”
“Stop…”
“Adorable. Precious. My biggest fan,” he lists, still far too amused for Yuuri’s liking. “And apparently you used to read fanfiction?”
An undignified squeak escapes Yuuri. He pulls his head from the covers and whips around to face Victor. “H-how do you know about that?”
“How do you think? You told me!”
“I don’t remember that,” Yuuri says, hoping that will encourage Victor to drop the subject. Instead, much to Yuuri’s horror, the opposite happens.
“Well, I most certainly do!” Victor says, all too happy to refresh his memory. “You mentioned something about mpregsー” Yuuri thought it was impossible for his cheeks to get any darker, and yet here he isー “and also sharing one bed. You asked me to sleep with you! And yet I’ve asked you for so long only to have the door shut in my face every time,” Victor laments with a playful pout. “I’m just glad we finally got to sleep together,” Victor says. “And I got to see your room! It’s so nice in here! I don’t know why you didn’t let me in before.” He trails off in thought as he looks around the room. His gaze becomes fixed on the barren, empty walls, as if studying them, until his eyes fall back on Yuuri. “…Unless it’s because you’re hiding something from me, that you don’t want me to see!”
Yuuri goes rigid.
Victor grins.
He hops up from the bed, scouring Yuuri’s room as if he were a pirate looking for buried treasure, and Yuuri flings himself after Victor with a panicked shriek.
“No no no, there’s nothing!” Yuuri lies, waving both hands in front of him. “Nothing embarrassing in here!”
“Oh, so it’s embarrassing! Now I have to find it!”
“No, Victor wait!”
Yuuri launches himself after Victor, latching himself onto the man’s back. Next thing Yuuri knows he and Victor are tumbling onto the bed, the latter of the two in a fit of laughter. Soon Yuuri can’t help but join in, laughing until his sides ache and his cheeks are comfortably sore, possible poster discovery forgotten.
In fact, everything is forgotten. Everything that isn’t the man in front of him. Victor looks so beautiful in this moment. The way his eyes light up when he laughs, as if it’s a wonderful new feeling to be experiencing such joy. His hair is just the right amount of tousled to be attractive, and Yuuri realizes the disarray must be from when he slept in this bed with Yuuri, keeping a close watch on him until his eyes eventually closed and he allowed himself to rest.
Things settle. Their laughter fades away until it’s just the sound of their quiet and still-quick breathing.
Yuuri can’t remember much about his time being sick, but something about being close to Victor like he is now seems so familiar… like he’s been here before… with their foreheads nearly touching, and so little space between their lips that Yuuri cannot help but wonder what would happen if he took that leap.
Victor must be thinking the same. He cups Yuuri’s cheek, warm and reddened in a way that is no longer caused by his fever. His voice is as soft and tender as his touch. “You seemed to want this earlier.”
It takes Yuuri a moment to find his voice. He licks his lips, swallowing down the last of his nervousness as he meets Victor’s gaze.
“I want this now too.”
That’s all it takes, and Victor closes the distance, Yuuri meeting him halfway.
It’s a soft and quick brush of their lips that only lasts for a few seconds, if that, but it still leaves Yuuri breathless and with his heart soaring.
And then his heart promptly drops, crashing down hard onto the ground as he remembers that while he may be feeling better than he has in days, he is far from fully recovered.
Victor notices his panic and before Yuuri can even begin to voice his apologies for infecting Victor, he fixes Yuuri with the most lovestruck look he has ever seen anybody give anyone in his entire life.
“If kissing you means I get sick,” Victor begins, eyes bright and smile even brighter, “then I’d like to get sick every day for the rest of my life.”
Yuuri can only stare at Victor as his heart tries to figure out how to fall into a healthy rhythm again. It was an impossible task from the start.
“Prove it,” Yuuri says with the inclination of a challenge, and Victor does.
He kisses Yuuri again and again, until all there is the bliss of Victor’s lips on his and Yuuri is positively melting.
～
Victor’s urgent voice, and hands roughly shaking his shoulders pulls Yuuri from the clutches of sleep.
“Yuuri!” Victor says, and when Yuuri opens his eyes he can see the intensity in Victor’s own, burning behind the evident fever. “Yuuri, look!”
Yuuri blinks at the the thermometer held in front of his face until the numbers come into focus, and Yuuri would be worried if not for the excitement colouring Victor’s voice.
“Yuuri, I’m pregnant!”
An excitement that Yuuri cannot say he echoes.
“Your babies must have transferred over to me when we kissed! I’m going to be a father! Or wait… a mother? A parent! We’re going to be parents, Yuuri!”
Yuuri responds by burying himself back under the covers with a groan, mentally preparing himself for the long days and longer nights that are sure to come.