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It’s dark.
Or ‘empty’ might be a more fitting word, because Ritsu can see perfectly as he looks around and sees nothing. Nothing but the black, chilling emptiness that surrounds him.
He does see something eventually, though, because as he looks down at the ground he sees his own reflection, the floor seeming to be a shiny surface that mirrored everything which stood above it, and he realises then that he is completely alone here.
Usually Ritsu wouldn’t mind this so much. It was easier to think, and much easier to rest when it was silent and he wasn’t being bothered by anyone. But something like this didn’t feel right. It was almost as if he was the only alive in this empty space… Like everyone he cared for had vanished, and he had no idea how to find them. He’s sure if he walked he’d still see the same nothingness, it looked endless, and he wasn’t going to waste energy walking forever when it would most likely be pointless. But… What was he supposed to do instead?
He looks puzzled as he continues to stare at his own reflection. How did he even get here? He has no memory of willingly coming, and there didn’t seem to be any entrances into this wide nothingness, so it was truly a mystery to him…
...And he had no idea what to do about it.
Though, he doesn’t get to think too hard about that, because not long after, he notices a red figure appear in the reflective surface, and he realises as his head snaps up to look in front of him that he is no longer alone.
As Ritsu looks up he sees the unknown body, almost the same height as himself, standing a few feet in front of him. Their hair, which stands out so obviously in the emptiness is red, which must be what caught his eye, and they appear to be wearing the same school uniform that Ritsu is. As he squints at them to try to make out their features better, he’s sure that he recognises them, but for some reason he can’t think of their name. It’s on the tip of his tongue waiting to be said, but no matter how much he thinks about it, the name doesn’t come out.
Perhaps, he thinks, if he gets a closer look at them he’ll remember it. Although it might not be the best idea, they could be an enemy after all, but it should be fine… The figure can’t be much younger than himself, and they’d moved this close to him and hadn’t done anything, so it shouldn’t be a problem if he moves a little closer to them, right?
But as he takes the first step forward, the figure takes an almost identical step back, as if wanting to keep the same distance between them.
Ritsu’s eyebrows furrow. Surely if they are wearing the same uniform, and are seemingly not much different in terms of age, they know each other… Had his sudden movement scared them…? He decides to take some slower steps towards them instead.
Again, the figure takes identical steps back, but now Ritsu is determined to reach them, so this time he doesn’t stop.
Wait…
He wants to tell them.
Don’t leave…
He wants to call out to them, but how can he if doesn’t know their name? Besides, his voice doesn’t seem to be working.
Please…
He lifts a hand up to reach out to them, but they don’t stop. In fact, they speed up.
I don’t want to be alone…
No matter how much he pleads, the figure does not stop moving, even when Ritsu speeds up (which only makes them move faster once again). Reaching them seems impossible, and Ritsu is beginning to get tired. If he wasn’t so stubborn, he would’ve given up ages ago, but now that someone else is with him he doesn’t want them to leave. They might have answers. They could be important. They could offer him company in this loneliness… The more he chases them, the more he wants them to stay, but they keep going even when Ritsu begins to slow down.
He hadn’t realised it before, but his vision had begun to get blurry as tears formed in his eyes, the reason as to why it happened, he just couldn’t think of. However, he just knew he needed to get to the figure, but they were quite a distance away now, the only feature of them visible anymore was the red of their hair.
It was impossible.
He wasn’t going to reach them.
He would be alone in this darkness once again…
Just as he makes one last effort to reach out to them, a different kind of darkness takes over his vision, and, after what he thinks is a few seconds, his eyes open suddenly, and he feels his heart pounding. He’s confused. Where was he now? Was something playing a cruel trick on him…?
Though, after his head clears a little, it doesn’t take him long to realise he’s not in the same place anymore. It’s still dark, but the moonlight peeking through the slight gap in the curtains on the right side of the room tells him that he’s back in his bedroom, and he assumes he must have woken up from a nightmare.
Another nightmare…
He takes in a deep breath, trying to calm his panicked heart. Of course that’s what it was. He should’ve known, really. He’d been having similar nightmares since his first year at Yumenosaki. Although they weren’t as frequent anymore, he still had them, and they never got any easier to deal with. It was annoying, really. After working things out with Rei (for the most part), he thought he’d been steadily getting over the one fear that made him unable to trust anyone other than Mao for a while, but clearly that wasn’t the case.
Ritsu’s fear of abandonment still played on his mind no matter how much time passed and how many people surrounded him. Of course, he knew he wasn’t alone anymore, he still had his childhood friend, and Knights, and plenty of others he would never admit he felt close to. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared of them all leaving suddenly, and it didn’t stop his mind from reminding him that he was once abandoned and that it could easily happen again. Though that isn’t something he’d ever admit to anyone. He didn’t want to risk making them want to leave him and his silly fears behind.
It’s then, as he’s deep in thought, that he realises there’s a weight on his chest, and his eyebrows furrow a little. It didn’t feel like painful feeling in his chest he sometimes got after waking up from a nightmare, so what could it possibly be..? As he looks down, he sees it’s a person, a person he easily recognises the moment he lays his eyes on him.
It takes only one look at the sleeping boy on top of him who is partly illuminated by the moonlight for Ritsu to forget his fears he had only been thinking about moments ago. A small smile shapes his lips as he lifts a hand to gently run his fingers through the soft red hair that belonged to his boyfriend. The movement is comforting to him, and his heartbeat slowly returns back to normal with every stroke of his hand.
It must have been Tsukasa he’d seen in his nightmare, he realises, and instantly he’s reassured that everything he’d seen was a nightmare and nothing more, because Tsukasa was right here, and he was able to reach him just fine. There were no deeper meanings to it, because after months of getting to know Tsukasa, both as a fellow Knight and on a more intimate level, Ritsu knows of all people his beloved boyfriend would never leave him. No matter how much Ritsu gave up on things or lost motivation, Tsukasa was always there, supporting him and reminding him how great a person he really was, and he constantly reminded Ritsu just how much he loved him, whether that be through words or through simple gestures, he showed zero sign of ever wanting to leave Ritsu.
RItsu always felt incredibly lucky for that. Of course Tsukasa wasn’t the only one in his life who was like that. He’d always had Mao who he knew would never leave him completely, but what he felt with Tsukasa was different. Whereas Mao was starting to build up his own life and plan for his future, which Ritsu knew he would be part of regardless of where it went, Tsukasa was planning to make changes to his which would make sure Ritsu was always apart of it. Ritsu felt connected to him in a way he couldn’t describe, and he finds himself wanting do anything to have Tsukasa stay in his life for as long as he lives. But he knows Tsukasa would make him go that far. Ritsu returning his love had always been enough for Tsukasa to stay, and Ritsu could say with confidence that there would never be a single day where he couldn’t do that, which makes him all that more sure that he never has to worry about Tsukasa leaving him.
Ritsu feels said boy start to move after a while, and he assumes Tsukasa must have felt his gentle hand movements, because he slowly lifts his head off of Ritsu’s chest and yawns a little, blinking when he sees that Ritsu is awake. It makes Ritsu giggle a little, and he can’t help but think that he looks cute with that tired yet confused expression on his face. He wouldn’t voice that though. Although he’s sleepy, Tsukasa could still get pretty grumpy. The younger boy lets out a small cough before he starts speaking.
“Ritsu-senpai? Are you alright…? Why are you… [Awake]…?” He asks quietly. Ritsu nods a little, giving him a warm smile so as not to worry him.
“Mhm… I’m fine. Suu~chan doesn’t need to worry, I heard a noise outside… You can go back to sleep…” Tsukasa stares at him for a moment, looking for any sign that Ritsu might be lying. He’s very aware from past experience that Ritsu isn’t the easiest to wake up, so it seems highly unlikely that a simple noise could wake him up… But Ritsu doesn’t appear to be upset or unwell, so he doesn’t pry (Ritsu can tell he’s finding it hard to stay awake, anyway, so he probably wouldn’t question him even if he wanted to). He soon returns Ritsu’s smile with one equally as warm when he’s decided that Ritsu seems okay.
“Alright… Please… Do try to sleep soon… Or you might sleep in again…” Ritsu laughs quietly at that. Of course Tsukasa would try to lecture him a little, even in the early hours when he’s on the verge of sleeping again.
Ritsu gives him another small nod and says a quiet ‘Of course~’, which seems to satisfy the other, and he uses the little strength he has to lean up so he can give Ritsu a quick peck on the lips, before he rests his head on Ritsu’s chest again, almost instantly falling asleep. The small gesture is unexpected, and Ritsu is glad it’s mostly dark in his room, because otherwise Tsukasa would have been able to see his cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink as their lips met. Thankfully Ritsu was lucky this time. It doesn’t take him long to recover however, and he wraps an arm around the younger boy, holding him close to himself as he leans down to press a kiss against the top of Tsukasa’s head.
As he lays back down properly and closes his eyes, Ritsu thinks that it won’t ever matter how much his fears come back to haunt him, because Ritsu knows that he will never be alone. The boy he’d not even known the name of for a while, who he’d come to love more than anyone else, and who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, would never leave him behind, and no nightmare could ever convince him otherwise.
He sleeps peacefully until the late afternoon after that, never once letting go of the boy who had helped him put trust in people again, and who he was going to enjoy waking up and seeing for the rest of his living days.