Chapter Text
he always smelled like lavender and lemon.
that was the first thing he noticed about him.
donghyuck remembers it clearly. their first lesson together, first day of their third year in high school. psychology.
he came into the classroom late, all messed up brown hair and soft eyes. the teacher directed him towards his seat, saying that he wouldn’t get off so lightly next time. the boy smiled and apologised, making his way to donghyuck’s desk.
as he swept by hyuck noticed his gentle aura that made him seem somewhat frail and the overly strong smell of lemons and lavender that came with it.
he sat down, all quiet sighs and delicate movements; carefully taking out his notebook and pencil case and laying them out on their desk.
while he’s selecting a pen and absentmindedly pulling his sleeves over his knuckles, the teacher takes the register and hyuck learns the mystery boy’s name to be renjun.
and so the first lesson passed between them in silence.
-
over the first few weeks they began to talk about class and, eventually, more personal topics such as hobbies, friends and weekend plans.
basically, it was unbearably polite and stiff.
small talk was one of donghyuck‘s least favourite things in the world and keeping it up four times a week was painstaking.
gradually, he began to drop in deeper conversation topics, sometimes pertaining to psychology and sometimes not.
their conversations always seemed somewhat one sided from donghyuck’s perspective, with renjun always answering with the bare minimum but still keeping up the nods and smiles.
he decided it was still better that way than the awkward silence that settled in the air otherwise.
and, despite this, hyuck couldn’t deny that there was something calming and comforting about his mere presence.
he decided he might quite like it.
-
after a couple of months, they began to hang out in the library to study together and in the canteen for lunch.
this allowed donghyuck to see a more intimate and personal side of renjun and, slowly, he learned more and more about the soft mannered boy.
he learned that renjun almost lived off of grapes and apples and cheese and crackers.
he learned that he liked to play guitar in his free time, to write songs to go with it.
he learned that he always dressed the same, or similarly at least. always an oversized jumper or button up shirt (or sometimes both) and light grey or pitch black jeans.
“are you always cold?” donghyuck asked suddenly one afternoon.
renjun stops for a second and looks at himself, “oh, no, i’m just more comfortable this way.”
“but you’re always pulling your sleeves over your hands.”
he laughs breathily and shrugs, “that’s just a habit. my mother says i’ve always done it? no, i think i’ve just acclimatised to always dressing warmly and so it doesn’t bother me now.”
donghyuck hums in thought and turns back to his work.
-
and one day when renjun seemed somehow more fragile than usual, donghyuck spoke up.
“are you alright?”
renjun startles, “oh, yeah i’m fine. why?”
“you seem impossibly more.... breakable today.”
he blinks, “do i normally seem breakable?”
“well, yeah.”
“oh.”
renjun stands up to reach for a book a couple shelves above their table; with donghyuck studying him rather than their notes.
it’s then that renjun’s sleeve slips and so does hyuck’s heart.
without realising, he’s reached up to capture renjun’s wrist in his hand and then everything slows down and, oh, renjun is very close and, oh, his eyes are shaking and, oh, what is he doing?
he snaps out of his trance to drag renjun’s arm down and lift his sleeve up to his elbow and the first thing donghyuck notices is the prominent bone sticking out on his wrist and how easily his hand wraps around it.
the second thing he notices are the scattered marks across his arm; some bruises, some small scabs and some lines that look suspiciously-
renjun slowly retrieves his own arm from hyuck’s grasp and looks away, sitting back down to put his things in his bag.
“renjun.”
“i don’t want to talk.”
and hyuck is taken aback because renjun’s voice has never sounded so harsh and cold and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt him some.
“renjun...”
“i said no.”
he ignores him, “talk to me.” and then he lowers his tone to a barely audible whisper, his voice cracking, “please don’t run.”
renjun’s head snaps up meet donghyuck’s eyes and suddenly tears are running out of his eyes. and he’s standing up to look the other in the eye.
“i’m sorry. i didn’t want to hurt you.”
hyuck pulls his small frame into a hug and renjun yelps a little but hyuck doesn’t care.
he smells like lavender and lemon and hyuck breathes it in from his parma violet sweater and caramel skin and swears he could get hypnotised from it.
“tell me.”
renjun sniffles into his neck and he can feel the damp but hyuck doesn’t care because he knows he’s not the one hurting here.
“who’s hurting you?”
renjun doesn’t answer for a while, choosing his words as carefully as he does for everything else.
“...myself.”
and hyuck holds him tighter because even though he knew the answer, it hurts more hearing it.
“...and why are you stick thin?”
“...because i don’t eat as much as i probably should.”
they collapse to the floor on their knees, still holding each other tightly.
“and that’s why you always dress the same. it hides your marks and your size.”
renjun just whimpers into his shoulder but hyuck doesn’t need an answer because it wasn’t a question.
they stay that way for anywhere between five minutes and forever; renjun fragmenting apart in hyuck’s arms and hyuck holding renjun together as he did so.
when they eventually peel apart, hyuck’s right shoulder is soaked along with renjun’s face and the cracked boy has the audacity to apologise for it.
“stop apologising. you’re allowed to feel.”
hyuck keeps looking at renjun’s face as he stares at the floor that he realises they’re still sat on. renjun eventually looks up to meet his gaze and donghyuck swears his heart flips.
having the poor, broken boy in front of him just made him want to hold him forever, to protect him from himself and the world, no matter the cost.
he reaches out with his right hand to hold renjun’s face in his hand and swipe his tears away with his thumb.
renjun relaxes into his hand, closing his eyes and hyuck’s face heats up as his heart speeds up and he’s suddenly overcome with affection for the older.
he doesn’t mean to lean forward and kiss him, but it happens so fast that hyuck has no idea what he’s doing but somehow he doesn’t regret it.
and renjun reciprocates, so he knows he doesn’t either.
they break apart but hyuck keeps his face close to renjun’s.
“hey... can i ask you two more questions?”
“sure.” renjun breathes.
“one. why do you always smell like lavender and lemon?”
renjun giggles and hyuck feels his heart and stomach become one organ.
“my body wash is lavender and i use citronella oil for anxiety.”
and it wasn’t what donghyuck had expected but somehow it makes his feelings grow even further because that’s so damn cute and loveable.
“and two...”
renjun looks into hyuck’s eyes again, aware that his gaze had wondered around the face of the angel in front of him.
he exhales gently, “would you be my boyfriend?”