Work Text:
“Hey, Donna.”
Donna hummed. She was thumbing through her photographs trying to pick out the best ones to add to her portfolio. If she was going to be accepted into the New York University Tisch School of the Arts, she was going to have to put her best foot forward – or rather, best photography forward.
“What do you say we get together later tonight?”
“Tonight?” She briefly glanced up. Roy was leaning against her bedroom door, his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he eyed her in that way that made her skin hot and involuntarily pulled her body towards him.
She immediately chided herself. No, no, she needed to focus. She had only recently gotten her GED and the undergraduate admission registration deadline was looming over her head like a ticking time bomb. She needed to focus on putting together a stunning portfolio and submitting it within the next ten days, fourteen hours, and thirty-seven minutes. She could give her on-again, off-again boyfriend all the time in the world after she’d sent in her application.
Roy slowly sauntered into the room looking over her bookcases overflowing with random assortments of books gifted to her by her friends over the years. “Yeah, I was thinking we could go to my place and, you know, Netflix and chill.”
Donna stopped flipping through her photographs. “Netflix and what?”
Roy shrugged nonchalantly, stepping closer to her bed. “Netflix and chill.”
“You just want to watch Netflix and hang out?” Roy was surprisingly a romantic guy and even though he didn’t go all out for every single one of their dates, he definitely tried to put a bit more effort into them than just spending an hour scrolling through Netflix before deciding on some really bad 90s flicks.
Returning to her photographs, she sighed. “Roy, we can ‘Netflix and chill’ any other day but right now I really need to finish this portfolio.”
Roy visibly brightened, lighting up his handsome face. Donna wished she’d had her camera on hand. “Wait, really? Any other day?”
Donna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, just not until after I’ve finished with this application. Then we can ‘Netflix and chill’ all you want.”
Donna didn’t understand why Roy practically skipped out of the room as he whistled a jaunty tune.
Donna exhaled softly.
Lying in her bed next to her husband she felt guiltier and guiltier with each passing moment at what she knew she was going to have to do in the morning. She couldn’t take the constant arguing, the way they seemed to truly hate each other now, how upset Robbie looked whenever she or Terry would huff out of a room in opposite directions. The couples’ therapy wasn’t doing much to help their marriage either; if anything it only proved how unfit they were for each other and how much of a whirlwind their relationship was. Divorce seemed to be the only proper option.
Donna swung her legs over the side of the bed. She didn’t bother trying not to disturb Terry. His back was turned away from her and would remain that way until he would wake up before her alarm and would be out of the house by the time she was done with her morning shower. It was out of pure habit that he still slept in the same bed as her, although some nights, after a particularly difficult day, he would migrate over to the guest bedroom for the night.
Grabbing her phone off the bedside table, she slipped on her slippers and walked out of the room. She wandered out into the patio where she was met with an endless sea of grass.
God, she hated this farm. She hated how far this house was from the beaches that reminded her so much of Themyscira or the city lights that brought her back to her days as Wonder Girl in the center of Manhattan or the bayside of San Franscico that she hadn’t meant to fall in love with as she helped the most recent iteration of Teen Titans pack into their very own Titans Tower in the City by the Bay. She hated that the house was an ugly egg-yolk yellow and that it was in the middle of a sprawling farm that was located in the asscrack of New Jersey and most of all she hated that she’d given up everything – her friends, her powers, her life – for a man that had inevitably failed her.
Folding herself into a wicker patio chair, she began to scroll down her contacts. She needed to talk to someone who would listen to her and advise her and would finally knock some sense into her. She was tired of the coddling and the reassurances; she needed someone who was going to level with her and would tell her everything she didn’t want to hear but needed to hear.
Her thumb hovered over the screen. It was four in the morning, way too early to be calling someone, but Star City was a good three hours behind and there was still a possibility he’d be awake or would at least answer her call.
He answered on the second ring.
There was a beat of silence on both ends. Donna suddenly wished she hadn’t called him. Maybe he hadn’t actually forgiven her for rejecting his wedding proposal, maybe he harbored some hatred towards her for never giving him any proper explanation as to why she’d rejected him yet had accepted Terry’s proposal. She shouldn’t have called him, especially not to talk about her failing marriage.
Relief washed over her when she heard Roy ask, “Finally cashing in that rain check for our Netflix and chill, Troia?”
She was a Darkstar now with a divorce under her belt and a pending child-custody battle that was turning out to be as nasty as he had expected. Roy had never liked Terry. Terry was a sleaze-ball who preyed on his young students. But he couldn’t say anything without seeming like a hypocrite. They hadn’t known it then, but he knew his and Jade’s past relationship would find the light of day eventually. How the hell could he pass judgment on Donna’s choice of men when his choice of women was equally as flawed?
Roy didn’t try to make a move on her, not seriously, anyways. That was the nature of their relationship. Ever since they were kids, they were on-again, off-again, only now as adults, their secret make out sessions were more heated and involved a lot less clothes and were brushed off as a night of vulnerability. They loved each other, they always had and they always will, but a serious relationship was out of their reach for the time being.
He almost asked her for something more serious, after he’d asked her to join his new team of Titans. He had long since moved past Jade but Donna was still sore from her divorce. Even though she was hurting, something deep in him hoped that maybe he could be what helped fix her up.
That was, until he noticed how close she and that new Green Lantern were getting. He couldn’t blame her. Kyle seemed like a cool guy, definitely attractive, a little younger than her but maybe that was her way of moving past her decade-older ex-husband. Roy knew it wouldn’t have been right to get in between those two.
So he settled for his usual brand of flirting, harmless and all for fun.
Donna was sitting on the couch flipping through a worn photography book as Tara, Grant, and Bart bickered around her. They were fighting over the remote control, Netflix idled on the television. Roy easily plucked the controller from Bart’s fingers as he sped past. An indignant “Hey!” followed him as he plopped on the open seat next to Donna.
“Anything good?” he asked.
Donna shrugged. “Nothing we haven’t seen a million times before,” she answered, not once glancing up from her book. There was a slight morose lilt to her voice, her lips turned down at the corners. She must have gotten some bad news from her court visit this morning. He’d have to ask her about that later when they were alone.
“For a bunch of heroes with full-time lives, we seem to have a lot of free time to watch TV.” Donna raised her brows a bit in response.
Trying to lighten up her mood a bit, he nudged her foot and suggestively wiggled his brows and offered, “Hey, D, maybe we can spice things up with some Netflix and chill.”
Donna’s earnest smile as she laughed loudly was worth all the pestering jokes he knew he’d get from the younger Titans.
He never thought she could do it, but Donna had broken Roy’s heart. She’d cut him deeply with her insensitive words.
No – they weren’t insensitive; they weren’t even sincere. This was just Donna going through another identity crisis which usually left her and everyone around her feeling at a loss. She was eventually going to shake this whole “I’m Wally’s image of perfection” thing she had going on and she was going to realize that she was the Donna they all knew and loved, that she hadn’t changed but rather her perception on herself had. They were going to get through this; it was just going to take some time.
Roy didn’t want to show how much she hurt him, though. Right now she needed some clarity and their historically-complex relationship being thrust back onto her wasn’t going to help her achieve that. So he tried to show her that he was cool and unaffected even though seeing her every day, knowing he had been so close to regaining what they’d had all those years ago, that innocence and pure love now lost with time, was clawing at his heart.
Pushing the door to his daughter’s room open, he called, “Honey, I’m home!”
Squeals were heard before his young daughter threw herself into his arms. “Daddy, you’re back! I had so much fun today!” She unwrapped her arms from his neck and scrambled to stand on the floor as she tugged him further into her room. “Donna and I went shopping and I got new shoes and a pretty dress and Aunty Dolphin met us at this coffee place – her and Donna like coffee but I think it tastes nasty, I got a cup of hot cocoa which I bought with my own tooth fairy money – and we went to the hair cutting place with Aunty Dolphin where she got her hair cut and–”
Roy laughed at his overexcited daughter wondering if she had breathed once. “Hold on there, pumpkin. You’re talking faster than your uncle Wally. Why don’t you go grab that dress and those shoes and show me what they look like? Maybe if they’re nice enough, you can wear them to Uncle Vic’s birthday dinner tomorrow.”
Lian let out another squeal as she ran out of her room, shouting out behind her, “I left it all with Aunty Dolphin!”
Roy chuckled at his daughter. Noticing the crayons Lian had scattered on the floor upon his arrival; he crouched down to pick them up. He’d learned the hard way to pick up anything of his daughter’s off the floor unless he wanted to end up splayed out on the carpet. “You didn’t have to get Lian anything, babe.”
Donna gave him a watery smile. He didn’t know how someone so young and so beautiful could carry so much sadness in her eyes. “I know. Being with her and doing things for her – it helps.” She was thinking of her son. He’d been heartbroken when he’d heard the news. Robbie had been sweet and wise beyond his years, so much like Donna. He could hardly imagine how Donna must be feeling.
Not wanting to further bring her down, knowing she needed a change of subject, he said, “You know, you never bought me anything while we were together. You still owe me that Netflix and chill.” His tone was light but the sadness in Donna’s smile only deepened.
They were back on the Titans again. She had died, and then come back to life, and it all felt so surreal. Donna couldn’t wrap her head around it but eventually realized that the point wasn’t to understand it but rather to accept it.
Leaning against the kitchen counter-top she rubbed her temple. Thinking about her life, about everything she’d gone through in her short twenty-something years only gave her a migraine. Pushing away the oncoming headache she opted to focus instead on the houses her real estate agent had told her to look over. Flipping through the glossy pages of the binder she felt her chest constricting tighter and tighter until she couldn’t breathe. Dropping the binder with a loud clatter, she started coughing profusely. Hurried footsteps pounded against the tiled floor and a hand hammered on her back until she stopped coughing. Taking the glass of water offered to her she quickly gulped it down.
“You okay, princess?” Roy’s worried eyes gave her an once-over. He had never been one to hold her with the fragility of a porcelain doll but ever since he’d gone to New Cronus with some of their friends he had taken to occasionally watching her closely. She appreciated that he didn’t watch her every movement like a hawk, though. Some of their other friends questioned her abilities to lead, not because she wasn’t a good leader but because they were afraid she was going to finally crack under the weight of everything she’d gone through - and she hated it. She didn’t mind their worrying (although at times it was rather stifling) what she did mind was that they couldn’t understand that she was a warrior by nature and she took out all of her anger, all of her frustration, all of her sadness and pain out in the battlefield. She was tired of talking and crying, all she wanted to do was hit something.
Nodding her head she placed the glass down. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Roy eyed her apprehensively but didn’t push her on the subject. Instead he moved to the fridge. “Now that you’re here, I was going to ask if you were busy Friday night?” he asked, his voice muffled as he poked his head into the freezer, probably in search of some ice cream. It was a sunny summer day in Manhattan which meant that the sun was glaring down and ready to boil the island’s inhabitants. It didn’t help that the Titans Tower’s air conditioning was going in and out as Vic fixed some wired messed up from Joey’s attack.
Donna shook her head. “Not that I know of, why?”
Roy closed the fridge and offered her one of Wally’s favorite fruit popsicles that he hid in a stash deep in the freezer and shrugged. “Nah, just wondering if you were up for some Netflix and chill.”
Donna’s eyes instantly sharpened on Roy. There was a teasing glint that gave away the otherwise deadly serious expression he wore. “Roy!” she exclaimed, tossing her wrapper at him as he laughed.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Jeez, you’d think a night out with me would be like pulling teeth.”
Donna immediately felt guilty. They’d had such a turbulent relationship before she’d died and then they had shared that moment back on New Cronus which he hadn’t brought up since they had returned to Earth. She had chalked it up to it being a spur of the moment thing. Emotions were on high and they’d kissed and it wasn’t supposed to mean anything.
Yet it had meant the world to her.
It had meant so much to her to see him at the front lines trying his damned hardest to knock some sense into her and make her see what was in front of her. He had followed her to the Controllers’ Stargate even though it was dangerous and he could have died. And at the end of it all they had kissed and it hadn’t been spur of the moment or something that she would have done with anyone else, it had meant so much to her. It had been them reconnecting after so many years of breaking up and getting back together only to have a new asteroid to crash right into their happiest moments and she wished they could just go back to the way it was when they were younger and they could sneak away for hours at a time without anyone wondering why their clothes were rumpled and why Donna’s lip gloss had ended up all over Roy’s face.
The old memories stormed through mind like a million little toy soldiers angrily stomping over her brain. She had been feeling this way for the past few weeks since her return to Earth. Her rebirth had meant the return all of her memories – her real memories, not Wally’s memories of her – with intense waves of emotions included which created for some intense headaches. It felt as if her mind was being ripped to shreds as feelings and images and moments flooded her brain and blinded her. She had eventually figured out how to control those sudden surges of pain but every now and then she had a strong wave that crashed over her and left her nearly paralyzed from the pain and shock. Right now she could hardly move her mouth or her eyes, much less wipe off the melting droplets of frozen ice from her fingers and laugh off Roy’s poorly-timed joke.
Roy’s firm hand on her arm was all it took to throw her body back into place. “It was just a joke,” he gently mended.
Donna nodded her head, embarrassed at how easily she had been able to break apart. She turned her back to him so that he couldn’t see the tears of pain pooling in her eyes. “So Friday – I’m guessing you want to go out and you need someone to talk care of Lian.”
It was what they were beginning to realize would be a casual day for them. The New York sun lit the Tower as the Titans lazed around doing whatever they could to make themselves busy until the next Big Bad attacked their recently-reclaimed city.
Donna flipped through her photographs, sitting on the floor in the middle of their living area. Karen and Mal had headed to their room with their daughter over an hour ago to put her to sleep for a nap and see if they could sneak one in too. Lilith finished her meditation as Garth clambered in with several boxes from Pizza Fish. Wally sped in and out, trying to learn each and every corner of the Tower, stealing slices of pizza and bottles of soda as he passed by. Dick popped out of the training room, where he was configuring it to personalize itself with each of the Titans’ fighting styles to better train them, to grab some grub and chat with Garth about installing a whirlpool. Roy sat on the couch, flipping through Netflix on the television as he sipped on some coffee he’d poured for Donna and himself.
Their memories of each other had been erased years ago, only to now slowly return to them as they reacquainted themselves with one another, and yet it all felt so natural. They weren’t just a team again, they were a family.
“Hey, Troy.”
Donna hummed. She was thumbing through her photographs trying to pick out the best ones to join her portfolio. She had always loved photography, never really understanding why she had let the talent go to waste. Now she was picking it up again in hopes of starting a career for herself. She didn’t know what exactly she could do, but she knew that it would be a step in the right direction.
“What do you say we get together later tonight?”
“Tonight?” She briefly glanced up. Roy was trying his best to stay casual as he continued to flip through the categories, his eyes never once leaving the screen, but the way he gripped his mug and clenched his jaw gave away his nervousness. Her memories of their past may not be complete but the way she knew how to analyze her friends, knew how they were feeling and what they were thinking just from a brief glance at them seemed to come from natural muscle memory.
“Yeah, I was thinking we could go to my place and, you know–”
“And Netflix and chill?” she asked.
Surprised, he blinked. “Yeah, how did you know I’d ask that?”
Donna hesitated. She hadn’t really known it just felt like something he would have asked. Something about the question, about him and her, Roy and Donna, the way they sat there staring at each other as the other waited for a response that seemed to answer more than just the obvious question, it all felt so familiar.
From behind them Lilith coughed a tad too loudly, Garth’s snickering closely followed. Donna rolled her eyes fondly. Turning to an expectant Roy whose eyes had never left her face, she finally answered, “To answer your first question: Yes, I’m free. We can order take out and watch some Netflix. That chilling part all depends on how the night goes.”
Maybe, for the first time in a long while, Donna and Roy could pretend to be something they were never allowed to be with each other: happy.