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Love at first sight was such a human concept.
Markus could have never pegged what he felt as such until a long while after. He had seen a PL600 model before. They were fairly common during his errand runs and generic walking around the city. Domestic assistant androids, a model line he assumed to be a branch of sometimes despite being a custom prototype.
In his newfound deviancy, and still wading through the complete shell shock of quite literally crawling out of his grave and trekking across the city he barely had time to register any of his new emotions without feeling overwhelmed. When he looked back upon this moment, Markus recalled noticing the softness of Simon’s eyes more than anything.
They were a cool blue, like a comforting lake on a hot day. Markus remembered thinking they looked as kind as they did tired. Someone who was doing his best to hold everything together, making decisions he hoped was right even with his own limited knowledge. Markus wanted to speak to him more, learn Simon’s thoughts and ideas. If he could think for himself, and others could as well, then Markus wanted to know everything about him.
-
Over the time he spent speaking with him, Markus learned just what a capable leader Simon was. He had risen to a role he had not intended to be in with all the effort and devotion of one who would have decided upon it by choice.
The reins were handed over to Markus almost immediately, though he still confided in the PL600 for advice and support. While North had outlooks that he didn’t entirely believe in and Josh was too idle, Simon was the perfect medium.
The raid had been successful, they had brought their people new parts and blue blood to keep them going without the fear of sudden shut down.
It was that night that offered up another memory Markus would replay over and over. Sitting by the fire burning in a metal barrel. Him and Simon the only two left in the main space, everyone else having dispersed for the night or to gather repairs. He remembered looking at Simon, something so unique in that standard issue face with the warm glow of light behind him. The way it highlighted the soft blonde of his hair, the point of his nose. Those beautiful cheekbones that made Markus feel things he had a hard time deciphering.
Some time had passed after that. Night after night spent staying up speaking to Simon constantly. The PL600 had such a brilliant mind, and such an infectious personality. Markus found himself unable to get enough of hearing him speak.
-
It wasn’t until that day on the Stratford Tower that Markus felt intense emotion akin to his first deviancy. He tried not to let it show, he masked it with practiced ease.
Emotion like this hadn’t coursed through his synthetic veins since the first time he broke through that red barrier. Not since the time he had physically crawled out of his grave.
It was the image of seeing Simon slumped against that wall in numb pain. A pain none of them could physically feel, but a pain that rested on their conscious all the same. He was bleeding, from the bullet wound in his leg and from the corner of his soft mouth. A mouth Markus only wanted to see smiling.
Markus was calculating through everything so quick he feared he would overheat. North’s voice seemed far away, insisting that he shoot Simon- Josh arguing that he shouldn’t.
It had been an idea Markus hadn’t even remotely considered.
The weight of both of them would be too much for one parachute. Simon couldn’t make the jump.
Markus felt the pain as if it were physical cracks in his thirium pump. He pressed the gun to Simon’s hand, silently bidding him to come home safe. To come home to him safe.
-
Maybe it was a human contradiction, to realize you loved something the instant its gone.
Not for the first time since his creation Markus felt hollow. Now it felt different though, it felt as if it had a weight and a meaning it had never possessed before. He had felt it in the microscopic tremble of his hand as he pressed the gun into Simon’s grip. The look had been barely spared over his shoulder, feeling as if he were leaving part of himself behind for good.
Markus, in all painful honesty, had not entirely expected to see Simon ever again.
That was when the realization came.
It was so raw, and so painful he had nearly staggered. The only one still standing in a small, private wing of their sanctuary.
Simon was gone. They had not heard from him, no one had seen him. There had been nothing on the news, but things were also easily concealed. It was with the sudden, shivering breath that Markus knew he loved him.
He had loved Simon so purely and so raw that he could never expect any human to understand. He loved him from the way he moved, the way his eyes softened when he smiled a smile that ever so faintly played across his lips.
A painting, an artistic sculpture in both body and mind that while coming off of a factory line seemed so achingly unique that Markus could hardly stand it.
Another piece of his heart, floating out to sea. Caught in the rough currents and the tide and being torn away from him as he tried to tighten his grip just a fraction of a second too late.
Markus composed himself as best he could and started his trek around the ship. He needed to not sit around and mourn, despite how much he wanted to just scream out. His people needed him, and he needed them in turn more than ever now.
He decided upon guard duty for himself for that night. Others’ were also posted to it, but he needed to wander the ship. His entire body screaming for him to just do something.
The footsteps had been something he barely registered at first. It was just one of their own, more than likely. Whoever it was wasn’t human, but the sudden realization that he could hear the subtle dragging of one foot caught him off guard. Markus’ steps slowed slightly staring intently down the corridor where he could hear the stranger approaching.
He wasn’t guarded, he didn’t entirely feel the need to be. He had just lost –
And suddenly he had found.
Simon came around the corner. Grimy and still splotched with faint amounts of blue blood. His LED was missing, and a jacket now covered the uniform disguise and the nasty wound beneath it. An unneeded breath hitched in Markus’ synthetic lungs, and he stood frozen for a moment, as if he wasn’t quite certain if he were suffering form a strange form of android illusion.
It passed, because that look on Simon’s face was all too real. The relief, the sadness hidden behind those blue eyes. It was so painfully real that Markus knew what he had to do.
He crossed over to him without a moment without any further hesitation, reaching out and grabbing Simon as if he were a needy child. He pulled the blonde into his arms, he pulled him close and hugged him tight.
The feeling of his beating thirium pump nestled against his own. Simon gripping the back of his shirt, then suddenly gripping all the tighter. Oh, he was scared. Markus could tell from the subtle tremble of those perfect hands. From the desperation in his muted actions that Markus was echoing in a soft, melancholic melody.
He couldn’t resist—because he needed – he had to. That had been one brush close with death and loss and who knew how many were around the corner. The road they had to travel was dangerous and unknown to their kind. It would be littered with struggles and desperation, of moments when perhaps the fight was inevitable.
There was no pre-constructing. It was just risks and chances, hoping that one would be right.
So, Markus took his risk, he took his chance.
“I love you.” He breathed, his voice brushing softly over Simon’s ear.
He felt the grip on him tighten, the other android trying to lose himself in him. Markus took it as a positive sign, and he buried his face against his neck. Simon who was alive. Simon who was here.
“…I love you too, Markus.” His voice, though static, was the sweetest music Markus had ever heard.