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ask anyone and they'll tell you that saturday nights are the best nights of the entire week, the dreaded 7 day wait leading to the perfect opportunity to binge watch netflix and stuff your face with moonpies. taehyung has been taking advantage of this for years - it's his happy place - so he isn't the least bit pleased when something hits his window with a violent thud right in the middle of eren's attack on the colossal titan.
startled, he rolls out of bed with his pillow clutched tightly to his chest and tiptoes over to the window.
"so this is it," he whispers to himself, "this is when i die." and then, taking a deep breath and mustering up all of his courage, he throws open the window.
"did you just run into my house?" he asks after double checking to make sure his eyes aren't deceiving him, relieved to discover that there's no serial killer or monster. just jungkook, who lays in the grass rubbing his face and groaning painfully. "i finished painting the front door like two days ago, so it's okay to use now. also where the fuck have you been?"
upon closer observation, he realizes jungkook is wearing a cheap looking cloak and his complexion is much paler than taehyung remembers it being.
"tae." jungkook stands and rolls his shoulders, then takes a deep breath and looks intensely into taehyung's chocolate covered face. he's all business when he says, "i have something important to tell you."
"don't tell me you're somebody's dad," taehyung whispers fearfully, his grip on his pillow so tight it hurts his knuckles. he knew this would happen someday. being an uncle might be fun when you're invited to disney trips and thomas the train themed birthday parties, but it also means jungkook will have someone else to share his fries with and taehyung just isn't ready for that.
"just let me inside and we'll talk about it there."
"okay," taehyung sighs, stepping away from the window. he gestures for jungkook to come through.
"can you, um," jungkook frowns at the ground as he searches for his words, "can you say the words 'i, taehyung kim, allow you, jungkook jeon, into my house?' you know, just as like. a formality. ha ha."
questions fill taehyung's mind but he repeats the words anyway. his floor is a junkyard of old take out boxes and pajamas; he clears a spot out with his feet and the two of them settle onto the floor in front of the tv.
"alright. this is gonna be some weird shit, dude. promise you won't freak out," jungkook says, his already wide eyes widening even further. it would be creepy if taehyung weren't used to his owlish tendencies.
"i swear to god, if you went to see justice league without me --"
"i'd never do something so terrible," jungkook snaps. his expression is so offended that taehyung calms a bit, though he still stares apprehensively, unsure of what jungkook could have to say that has him so obviously afraid that taehyung would judge him. taehyung's life philosophy is exactly the opposite: 'judge no one.' he signs it after his signature and closes each of his texts and emails with it.
"i'm..." he takes a long deep breath before muttering the words, "i'm a vampire."
taehyung's eyes go to the party city cloak around jungkook's shoulders, then to his neck where there are two little faded scars that could be a vampire bite. another possible clue is the way jungkook keeps glancing at tae's guinea pig like it's a golden egg laid by the hen of all gracious gluttony.
fury fills his body. this is how he's always imagined naruto felt when he found out sasuke left the hidden leaf village with no warning, no goodbyes. just mercilessly leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him.
"what the hell," he says angrily, "why didn't you invite me? i'd make a great vampire."
"well --"
"how long has this been a thing?" taehyung asks. the only thing worse than jungkook turning into a vampire and not inviting him is jungkook turning into a vampire and not telling him for god knows how long. a week? a month? 19 years? has their whole friendship been a lie? is jungkook even his real name?
"about four days, i guess. i don't know. my sense of time is kind of whack," jungkook explains, tearing his eyes away from taehyung's guinea pig and looking almost guiltily down at his hands. his stupid pale vampire hands.
the anger melts away when taehyung sees the dark circles under his best friend's eyes, but the sense of betrayal is still there. "why didn't you tell me sooner?" he mumbles, "you were the first person i vented to when i got my wisdom teeth removed."
jungkook explains that he's been off with namjoon learning all the vampire ropes. he'd been flying in his super cool, incredibly amazing bat form when he'd ran headfirst into taehyung's bedroom window. "namjoon ditched me a few hours ago for his boyfriend so i decided to practice being a vampire on my own. i don't know what i'm doing at your house but i guess i missed you or something, dude. not that it means anything. i still think your face is really stupid."
"have you, um," taehyung doesn't know to ask politely. would jungkook, a vampire baby, be offended? angry? "have you...killed anything?"
"you know i've been a vegan for almost two months now!" jungkook exclaims, some color flooding his cheeks and ears. "how could i go against the vegan law? no, i just buy my blood at the store like a civil citizen. like everyone else. jeez."
taehyung's mind blanks. "blood? at the grocery store?"
"you never noticed?" jungkook scoffs while shoving an entire moon pie into his mouth. crumbs fly everywhere when he says, "idiot."
"whatever," taehyung throws back, then realizes jungkook is still staring longingly at his guinea pig, who's in the middle of digging herself a very impressive hole in the wood chippings of her cage. "stop, what's wrong with you? i'm taking hilda somewhere safe."
he moves her cage to the living room where she can watch her favorite tv show (master chef). when he returns to his room, jungkook is passed out on the floor drooling. taehyung sighs and decides to leave him there, but throws a blanket over his shoulders because he's a good Friend and Pal.
netflix occupies him until the sun shines happily through the blinds, breaking his concentration for the first time in hours.
"rise and shine, ugly," the sun says.
taehyung ignores this in favor of a good stretch. he's about to start his morning work out of 10 jumping jacks and one (1) sit up when he realizes jungkook is laying right in the middle of a giant patch of sunlight. taehyung has seen enough movies to know where this is headed.
he rushes to close the blinds but trips over his overly large friend in the process.
"what the hell," jungkook mumbles, covering his head with the blanket.
"you'll thank me later. i'm saving your life," taehyung explains. after some struggle, he finally gets the blinds closed and leans his back against the window, panting heavily. "you were about to melt in the sun, man."
"that's a myth, idiot," jungkook says, poking his head out from under the blanket so he can glare properly at taehyung with his insomnia-punched eyes. "the most the sun can do is give a wicked sunburn. gotta layer on the sunblock like it's padding in a bra...brah."
"that's a terrible way to say thank you."
"shut up and let me sleep."
/
"okay so go over this one more time."
"i can still eat people food."
"but how? isn't your body dead or something? so how can you digest anything? do you see how this can be confusing."
they're walking their bikes through the school gates. jungkook has switched his black cloak out for a Midnight Black cloak instead, and he has the hood pulled over his eyes to protect them from the glaring sun. also because he looks cooler and more menacing this way, like the newborn predator he is.
"you literally watched me eat all the food in your house. and i'm not dead," he pulls an expression like he's just smelled rotten eggs, his nose scrunching up. "why would you think that?"
"lower your voice, jeez," taehyung hisses, tossing worried glances at all the students around them. threats. "what do you mean 'why would i think that?' that's the whole point of being a vampire. sexy undead immortality."
"okay no. no." jungkook chains his bike to the rack with a skull lock he'd bought recently at hot topic. he puts his hands on taehyung's shoulders as he explains, "i'm not dead. i still have all my working organs. and i'm not immortal, i can die just as easily as you can."
taehyung frowns deeply. "then what's the point?" he whispers, confused.
jungkook leans closer, then whispers with utmost seriousness, "i can turn into a bat."
taehyung shoves him away angrily. "why would you willingly lower yourself on the food chain?" he stomps towards the school with almighty anger, jungkook following close behind him.
"if anything i'm higher on the food chain than ever. i could eat you, man. i could do it," he ignores the horrified glance a girl sends his way and nearly runs into tae when he stops in the middle of the hallway.
"i could eat you too," taehyung throws back, unsure of why he's so angry. his face is flushed. "ever heard of cannibalism, asshole? go to class."
sulking, jungkook follows the command. taehyung spends the next few classes secretly watching dracula and twilight in the back of class to learn as much about vampires as possible. at lunchtime he sits next to jimin and says, "kook is feeling kind of unwell lately so don't say anything when you see --"
"tae, i know he's a vampire."
"what? how? did he tell you before he told me??"
"i saw him earlier. he was wearing a cloak," jimin whispers, "that's one of the warning signs listed in the pamphlet the school handed out last semester."
"what's up, losers." jungkook glides over to the table and sits across from them. his tray is empty except for some red jello and a packet of what looks like capri sun, but judging from the dark red smeared all over his mouth and chin they know it's probably blood.
"jungkook, doesn't that go against your vegan diet?" jimin asks as he eyes the packet unsurely.
"no," jungkook says angrily, shoving a scoop of jello into his mouth, "shut up. i'm still the most organic guy around. this morning i saluted a cow, the true hero and backbone of this country."
"its true, he did," taehyung assists.
"and don't call me jungkook anymore. i'm changing my name to Heavenly Dark Prince of the--"
"well well well, if it isn't out newest recruit," a deep voice says. they all look over in shock, unaware of when namjoon had approached. namjoon. number one vampire, goth lord namjoon with his thick eyeliner and combat boots so heavy he can barely lift them when he walks. he's a living legend.
"my lord," jungkook says, hurrying to wipe his mouth. his eyes are wide in worship. "what -- what are you doing here, at our humble table?"
"i've come to invite you to the big boys club. pull up your pants and come join us near the garbage can," namjoon says coolly. he tilts his cool head toward the cool table where his fellow cools sit.
"of course," jungkook stands in a rush, then remembers his friends. he glances at them and stumbles over himself for a moment, wondering how angry they would be if he ditched them. when namjoon notices, he peers at the two of them down his nose, his hands clasped behind his back as he considers.
"they can come," he says finally, his voice full of all the authority of a king.
they all breathe out a collective sigh of relief and follow him to the table next to the garbage can. there are three other boys sitting there. jin, namjoon's human boyfriend and king of the culinary club, hoseok, the brightest (human) guy in town (he's notorious for smiling his way out of speeding tickets), and suga, the oldest vamp of 60 years. he's taking a nap when they arrive but wakes up long enough to mumble a "sup."
"welcome," namjoon says after greetings have been exchanged. "we may begin the feast."
they dig into their cafeteria jello.
/
"hold still," taehyung chastises, trying not to jab jungkook in the eye with the eyeliner he's holding. jungkook had asked him to do it for him because no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the killer wings namjoon paraded around so flawlessly.
he'd ditched his cloak when taehyung closed the blinds, so they sit cross legged in front of each other in sweatpants and some of tae's old ratty t-shirts. jungkook keeps stealing glances at dragon ball on tv, a chew toy taehyung is almost positive is meant for dogs between his teeth ("what the fuck is that?" tae had asked when jungkook first whipped it out. "my fangs hurt, fuck off," jungkook had snapped back), and taehyung is getting real tired of having to yank his face back into the right position to avoid smudged grunge eyeliner. that's not the look they're going for.
finally, after a long hour of toil, taehyung pulls away to study his work. it looks like a kindergartner had done it but that's okay; he makes an internal promise to keep practicing until he's the best around. that'll knock namjoon down a few pegs for sure. maybe even leave the space of vampire king open for someone else (namely taehyung) to steal.
"hmm," he considers, then realizes how red jungkook's cheeks are and how he's scrunching his face up, leaning slightly away.
"what?" he asks, offended. "you don't even know how bad it looks yet."
"no, it's not --" jungkook starts, shaking his head, "it's not that. you just smell weird, like strawberries or something. it's freaking me out."
"oh," taehyung replies blankly. never in his entire life has he been in a situation where someone wants to eat him and his lack of experience in that area leaves him floundering. "that's really weird dude. um."
"i guess it's the blood or something? my new vampire hormones? they must be throwing things off," jungkook says, fiddling nervously with a bottle of black nail polish.
"yeah," taehyung mumbles, busying himself with arranging all the makeup neatly on the sheets so he can feign casualty. there's something that's been weighing on his mind. "do the other guys also just. buy blood from the store?"
jungkook coughs into his fist. "you mean do they ever take from humans?"
taehyung nods.
"they do both. mainly they just drink store bought but apparently fresh blood is like...a treat or something? i don't know. like, picture a mcdonalds burger compared to a 5 star gourmet steak. that's what was going on with namjoon and seokjin before they caught feelings. kind of strange," jungkook explains.
"yeah, haa," taehyung laughs nervously, "so strange. yep."
"yep."
taehyung counts the seconds they stare wordlessly at each other. 1 2 3 4. he's about to suggest jungkook do his eyeliner next, anything to get out of this god awful situation, when suddenly jungkook lets out the wildest sneeze taehyung has ever heard in his life and just. vanishes.
taehyung curses and leaps off the mattress, the makeup clanging noisily to the floor. he glances frantically around the room until he spots movement on the bed, under a bundle of clothes laying where jungkook had previously been. a tiny fruit bat pokes his head out from underneath the t-shirt.
"jungkook?" taehyung asks slowly.
the bat squeaks and flies clumsily into the adjoined bathroom, somehow slamming the door shut behind it. confused, taehyung gathers up all the fallen makeup and waits until human jungkook steps out of the bathroom about a minute later, taehyung's white robe wrapped around his body. he looks guilty.
"so," taehyung starts, rubbing the back of his neck, "what was that about?"
"i just. got nervous," jungkook mumbles, grabbing his clothes off the bed and staring down at them uselessly. "you kept staring at me, dude."
"so you just turn into a bat when you get nervous --"
"boys! time for dinner!" taehyung has never been more grateful for his mother. and lasagna. he's also grateful that jungkook doesn't mention their Hell Conversation after they finish eating.
/
"i cant stop thinking about it, whats wrong with me?" taehyung asks as he bangs his head down on his desk with a pained groan. he curses himself for being unable to tear his eyes away from jungkook, who stands in a corner near the classroom door and fixes everyone who walks in with a terribly menacing glare. good morning, students.
"you totally have a boner for kook's sexy new hollowed cheeks and sickly complexion. i've actually heard this is a thing. check it out," trusty right hand man jimin says, whipping out a pamphlet. "it has something to do with his new vampire pheromones. isn't that interesting?? there's an evolutionary theory that states that, in the past, the pheromones would lure in a vampire's victims so they wouldn't have to waste energy to hunt. it's kind of useless now since most vamps are lazy and just buy from the store. kind of like male nipples i guess."
"what do nipples have to do with anything, i don't care that much about his nipples--"
"that's not what i'm saying," jimin rolls his eyes and carefully tucks the pamphlet back into his binder. "look, just ignore it. it'll go away eventually. you just have to get used to it."
"but what if i don't?" taehyung mumbles miserably. at the front of the room, jungkook draws a picture of a very detailed skeleton on the whiteboard and taehyung has to punch himself in the chest in order to justify to himself why his heartbeat speeds up so much. it definitely isn't because of the way jungkook smiles proudly to himself when the teacher appraises his work with a slightly terrified nod and the gift of a gold star sticker.
"just don't look him in the eye. give him some space. i don't know. jeez," jimin grumbles, already tuning in to the teacher's morning announcements.
"why am i friends with a nerd?" taehyung asks himself. he tries to ignore the way heat floods his cheeks when jungkook takes his seat beside him and points proudly at his gold star.
curse vampire pheromones.
/
avoiding jungkook is hard to do when they have weekly sleepovers, so taehyung resigns himself to a lifetime of pain, confusion, and misfortune when jungkook shows up at his doorstep with his favorite pillow and a pile of videogames he'd picked up at redbox.
"okay fine. you won. but only because i'm tired," jungkook says after a few hours of getting his butt kicked, "it's bed time, bro. beddy bye. good night."
jungkook gets cozy and chews on his dog toy beside him and now taehyung is stuck curled up under the blankets wondering how he's done this his entire life without this pounding pulse and anxiety and dare he say it -- butterflies. or buffalo, stampeding their way over his bones and organs and leaving him with a very physical pain.
it's right as he accepts his misery that jungkook lets out a heavy sigh and sits up, throwing the covers off of his body.
"i can't do this," he says, and taehyung panics, wondering if he'd somehow heard his thoughts or sensed the buffalo. "it smells too much like you. it's distracting."
relieved but still confused, taehyung says with a shrug, "oh. sorry. i showered earlier but you know."
jungkook's belly answers for him with a loud growl and he throws himself back against the pillows in anger.
"you hungry, man? i think there are still some cheetos at the bottom of the bag," taehyung says.
"it's not...that kind of hungry. i'm fine."
"oh."
taehyung's cheeks go red in realization and he clutches on to his stuffed duck for dear life. "you wanna bike to the store?"
"it closed at 11."
"oh."
"yeah."
the silence is cutting as they lay on the backs in the dark and do their best not to look at each other. finally, unable to handle the almost physical tension spooling in the room, taehyung clears his throat and asks, "have you drank from a human yet?"
"no," jungkook says quietly. taehyung watches, mesmerized, at how the light cast from his disco ball night light bounces prettily off his profile.
"look. if." taehyung lets out a deep breath, thinking back on how brave naruto had been when he faced pain in battle. he pushes past the knot (buffalo?) in his throat. "if it makes you feel better, i'll slice open my big toe and we'll never have to talk about this again."
jungkook turns his head in shock and their eyes meet. "normally i would say no to your offers of toe sucking, bro, but i'm literally on the brink of death right now."
a question fills taehyung's mind. "are you more hungry or thirsty? because blood is a liquid."
"both," jungkook answers gravely, "at the same time. it's confusing and weird and no fun at all."
"yikes," taehyung scrunches his nose and sits up, throwing his legs over the side of the mattress. "i'll go get my dad's razor."
"no need," jungkook says. he sits up and bares the tiny sharp fangs braced on either side of his bunny teeth. "these babies could pierce the veil between our world and the next."
they both look thoughtfully down at taehyung's toes.
"it doesn't... HAVE to be my big toe. he's a bit sensitive. how about my middle piggy instead?"
jungkook frowns. "that sounds difficult. i need to hit a vein i think? or do i need to avoid veins. either way i'm not familiar with toe veins and -- " he sucks in a breath, his face getting paler and paler by the second as his dark eyes stare fearfully into the void, "oh shit, what if i hit the vein and you just keep bleeding forever and never stop --"
"what the fuck, i don't want to do this anymore --"
"wait, no," jungkook releases a deep breath, "if you don't stop, i'll just turn you. phew."
"hmmm," taehyung considers what kind of bat he would be. a fruit bat like jungkook? a small, beady eyed bat with pointy teeth and tiny hands? a large, muscular bat with charming eyes and the ability to make all the ladies swoon?
"alright," he says. he does a quick glance over his body and slowly offers his wrist out to jungkook. it seems like the most benign area. "how about..."
jungkook hesitates, taking taehyung's wrist in his hand. "you sure?"
taehyung nods, more sure than he's ever been in his entire life. he's ready to possibly become a bat. wanting to be comfortable, he sits back against the headboard and lets jungkook arrange himself so that he's sitting in front of him, looking at the blue veins of taehyung's wrist fearfully. taehyung pretends not to notice how his ears turn red and his breath stutters.
"alright, don't look at me while i do this," jungkook says quietly.
taehyung closes his eyes and waits, then feels the pressure of jungkook's fangs against his skin. suddenly there's a sharp pain like his entire fucking hand has just fallen from his wrist and he yelps loudly, yanking his arm away to cradle close to his chest.
"what the hell, i didn't know this was gonna hurt," he says, holding his wrist gently as blood flows between his fingers and drips onto his sweatpants. he shakes his head like a dog to erase the queasiness but it only makes him dizzier.
a glance at jungkook's face, at his wide blown pupils and flushed cheeks, reminds him of the business at hand and he doesn't want to chicken out now, so he offers his wrist out coyly. jungkook slowly brings taehyung's wrist up to his mouth and, with closed eyes, laps at the blood with his tongue.
"oh," taehyung whispers as jungkook properly latches his lips around the open wound and sucks. the room spins and all the heat in the house seems to focus itself inside taehyung's body until jungkook pulls away with his chin covered in red.
"it healed up," he says quietly, in wonder as he stares at skin almost as smooth as it had been before it was bitten. there are two small faded circles in place where jungkook's fangs had pierced and then sealed.
"magic vampire saliva," taehyung mumbles as he catches his breath. he pulls his sleeve down over his hand and this makes jungkook look up sharply as though pulled out of a trance. "you good now?"
"yeah. yeah definitely. thanks," jungkook says quickly, hurrying back to his side of the bed.
"what are pals for? just guys being dudes, you know," taehyung says. his pillows are soft against the back of his head when he throws himself down onto the mattress, feeling strangely content and sleepy.
jungkook's eyes roam over taehyung's neck before he stretches and yawns. "so tired," he says, snuggling back up under the covers. "like after thanksgiving dinner."
taehyung waits until they're both situated and ready to sleep before he turns to jungkook with a sly grin. "so," he says, "what do i taste like?"
jungkook frowns. "go to sleep asshole."
"no, you have to tell me."
"don't want to. leave me alone."
"i literally just sacrificed for you."
"fine," jungkook snaps, bringing the blankets up to cover the bottom half of his face. "you taste like a dairy queen chili cheese dog. i don't know."
"whoa," taehyung grins widely. dairy queen chili cheese dogs are their mutually agreed upon Best food of all time (jungkook's vegan phase had ended when he realized how bad the vampire munchies are). "you know how eating pineapples makes your cum taste sweeter? what if it's like that? what if my diet of --"
"go to sleep. and don't speak of this to anyone," jungkook says, his voice quieter now. he turns his back to taehyung.
"deal."
/
jungkook is already on taehyung's couch when he barges through the door with blood running down his arm and a deep frown on his face.
"whoa, dude, what happenened?" jungkook questions as he hastily follows taehyung to the kitchen. he watches in confusion and concern as taehyung digs under the kitchen sink with all the passion of a dog digging for his bone.
"you know lila, the neighbor's dog?" he asks angrily.
"yes?"
"so i'd just gotten out of band practice and you know how exhausting playing saxophone is. i'd worked up an appetite, you know? so i went to dairy queen, which is where i always go when i have an extra special craving --"
"of course."
"so i buy my chili cheese dog but realize it's kind of hard to eat it while riding my bike. so i'm holding my hotdog in one hand and steering with the other when suddenly i hear this ferocious bark and the sound of thumping paws from behind me, and you're not gonna believe this --"
"what?"
"lila was chasing me down the street --"
"holy crap."
"--wanting a taste of this chili cheese dog, the best hotdog in a ten mile basis, and she's fast, man. she's like lightning with feet. so i'm looking behind me at this monster instead of in front of me at where i'm going and suddenly she ATTACKS me and i crash and hit my arm and she takes off with my chili cheese dog --"
"that's terrible."
taehyung sniffles pitifully. "it was the most terrifying moment of my life. i thought i was gonna die."
"isn't lila a chiweenie?"
"shut up. can't you see i'm in pain?"
"damn. you're right," jungkook says. he watches as taehyung continues to pull things out from the cabinet.
"i can't find the first aid kit," he wails, frustrated. he holds his arm up in jungkook's direction. "can you just --"
"oh," jungkook says, his eyes wide, "uhhh. sure."
he tries not to make eye contact with taehyung as he sits on the floor and carefully brings his friend's arm up to his mouth, lapping at the scrape leading from tae's elbow to his wrist. minutes pass in silence before taehyung mumbles, "my arm's going numb," and jungkook pulls away with a curse.
taehyung admires his arm. the gash is all healed and the pain is gone.
"that's really convenient," he says, ears cherry red and his head dizzy and empty as though it's been stuffed with cotton candy or down feathers.
"yeah i mean i guess i could be constructive and contribute to society by volunteering at a hospital and healing everyone's injuries and being on the news every day and maybe even having my own tv show or documentary but i'm kinda shy you know? i don't want all the spotlight that would come with being a hero."
you're a hero in my heart, tae thinks to himself, then realizes that's kind of Gay so he instead says, "also it seems kinda gross. isn't there something about spreading disease through blood or..."
"oh, right. hey you wanna order a pizza?"
a few hours later paints the picture of a coffee table covered in two empty pizza boxes, three empty oreo cartons, and an empty gallon of milk. all the chewing has been painful to jungkook, apparently, because he keeps rubbing his jaw and exaggeratedly groaning and when taehyung finally looks over to ask what's wrong he sees that his eyes look all glassy.
"it's the fangs," jungkook explains quietly, "they just came in so they really hurt."
tae is immediately reminded of his old puppy who teethed and chewed on everything. "try massaging your gums, it should help a bit," he suggests, turning back to watch bleach.
jungkook follows his advice but after a few seconds exclaims "ow!" and yanks his fingers out of his mouth with a pained, scrunched up expression.
taehyung rolls his eyes, frustrated because ichigo is in the middle of fighting ulquiorra and this is the best battle in anime history, damn it. "how do you manage to fuck that up?" he mumbles angrily, "here, i'll do it."
jungkook shakes his head and attempts to shove his hands out of his face but tae shoves his fingers in his mouth anyway and massages his gums where the fangs have forced their way through. it's gross and he keeps bumping his hand against jungkook's sharp fangs but jungkook has shut up and he's limp as a ragdoll in taehyung's grip.
"i told you. i'm good at this," taehyung boasts. he suddenly realizes how strange it might be that he has his fingers casually shoved in his friend's mouth but he presses that thought to the back of his mind as they settle in to watch ichigo kick ulquiorra's butt, tae with his arm around kook's shoulders, still massaging, and jungkook with his head buried in tae's neck.
/
"this," namjoon says, spreading his arms in a grand gesture, "is my realm. welcome."
his bedroom looks like something hot topic spat up. goth anthem bring me to life is playing quietly through the speakers with the bass boosted, his walls are painted a deep black and covered in posters of idol vampires such as edward cullen and michael jackson, and there's a comfy adult sized coffin settled cozily in the corner. the only light comes from the candles arranged around the pentagram in the center of the room.
"joonie, sweetie, you waltzed by so quickly i didn't have time to say hi to your little friends! would you like me to bring you some snacks?" his mom is a sweet, average looking middle aged lady with a bright smile and perfectly ironed clothes. pearls gleam prettily in her ears. taehyung knows she must bake incredible cookies.
"mom you're embarrassing me, get out," joon hisses, and she hurries off with an 'oopsie!', closing the door gently behind her.
"wow," taehyung whispers, eyes wide as he stares at joon's naruto manga collection. "you even have the newest volume. i don't have enough allowance money to buy it yet but maybe after i babysit this weekend..."
yoongi whispers to hoseok, "how old is he again?" but just gets a shrug in response.
"could be 12, could be 42."
"alright, children, gather around," namjoon announces from where he's standing in the middle of the pentagram. they gather in a circle around him. "you," he points at jimin, "a little more to the north."
nervous, jimin takes a tentative step to his right.
"no," namjoon says.
jimin takes a step back and namjoon glares apprehensively before sighing and giving a solemn nod. the room releases a shared breath of relief, fearful of what angering this godly man might lead to.
"now," namjoon says, taking a step back so that he's standing in between seokjin and taehyung. "lets get started. hold my hand."
is this for real am i really gonna get to touch kim namjoon? heart thumping erratically in his chest at receiving this great once in a lifetime honor, taehyung reaches over to intertwine their fingers and is heartbroken when joon yanks his hand away in disgust. "not you," he says. "jin. honey."
seokjin throws a smug grin to tae.
"maybe there are too many of us?" hoseok asks tentatively, obviously confused.
namjoon shakes his head once again. his word is law. "we need exactly seven people here if we're gonna do this right. each of us will represent a different entrance into this world, a portal if you will. the ancient scriptures claim that to be accepted into the clan, each portal must open and gift us a -- nevermind, you know the drill. repeat after me. Come with me, The time is right."
taehyung and jungkook share a glance but repeat it anyway.
"There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream."
"wonderful. truly magnificent," namjoon exhales orgasmically, head thrown back as he takes in the moment. "now. jungkook," he pulls out a large ryan plush. "passionately embrace this sweet, red-blooded mammal."
"um," jungkook accepts it but throws a confused glance around the circle. everyone is looking at him expectantly. "why a bear? and why am i hugging --"
"it's not --" namjoon starts, exasperated. he takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose before continuing in a slightly calmer tone, "firstly, ryan is a lion. not a bear, you ignorant heathen. second of all, it's not about ryan. it's about what he represents. brotherhood. we're brothers now."
jungkook's eyes glimmer dangerously but he refuses to cry. he sniffles and hugs ryan tightly to his chest, sniffing namjoon's expensive chanel perfume in the fabric. joon smiles proudly and strides over to him to place a warm hand on his shoulder, breaking the circle and successfully ending the ritual.
"welcome to the clan."
/
taehyung and jungkook are hanging out, as they always do, lounging in bed and playing a multiplayer naruto game. this is normal and taehyung can handle this. what he can't handle is listening to jungkook's lovesick rants about how amazing joon is and what joon did yesterday and oh my god he's so cool and sexy and his legs reach all the way to the ground and he's so nice for giving jungkook all of his old chew toys and --
taehyung is fuming.
"yeah, uh-huh. sure," he grunts intermittantly in between jungkook's endless praise. he doesn't even bother listening at this point, knowing that every word would hurt like a punch to the heart.
"bro, you alright? you seem kinda off today," jungkook says, not taking his eyes off the screen.
"yup. i'm perfect. fine and dandy. i'm shittin rainbows, lad," he grits out and slams down on the O button with all the strength in his thumb.
"are you sure because your face is kind of red --"
"i can't take this anymore," taehyung slams down his controller, eyes glistening with unshed tears, "okay, fine, i'm jealous okay? you're spending all your time with stupid namjoon and when we finally get to hang together he's all you talk about and wow. just wow bro. i can't believe he's cockblocking me like this. did i never exist? did you just somehow forget about our weekly anime dates and how we cosplayed as naruto and sasuke for halloween last year and how i'm supposed to be your best friend and not namjoon?"
he doesn't realize the tears are working their way down his red cheeks. "we literally grew up together, kook, how could you just ditch me for someone better?"
"tae, i ." jungkook is watching him with wide eyes, confused and not knowing what to do. comforting people was not part of his vampire training. "you know we're bros for life. for Life! bros before hoes you know? namjoon doesn't have half the booty that you do."
tae sniffles and he wipes his snotty nose with the back of his hand. "you're just saying that," he mumbles, voice hurt.
"no i mean it!! your booty is poppin!"
"shut up" he grumbles, still angry but softening at jungkook's sincere expression. "just," he sniffles some more and awkwardly curls himself against jungkook, "just hug me you asshole. you owe it to me. bro hug."
"bro hug," jungkook repeats, wrapping his arms around tae and instantly regretting it because wow strawberries. "actually this might not be the best idea, you smell like my grandma's soap. and not the regular soap but the soap i tried eating when i was a kid because it smelled like strawberries and was pink like a smoothie and --"
"just do it."
"what?" jungkook freezes up.
"just bite me," taehyung says, his tone angry but his eyes soft and determined.
"uh what --- are you su--"
"of course i'm sure now do it before i change my mi--" and then jungkook bites his neck and shit, fuck. god damn it Hurts. he feels like he's being stabbed and brutally murdered but then jungkook mumbles an apology against his skin and --
"oh," he breathes out, unconsciously digging his fingers into the back of jungkook's shirt to draw him in closer. he feels warm all over and his heart is beating rapidly against his chest as he tilts his head back and presses his lips together to keep from embarrassing himself. jungkook pulls away and they're a lot closer than either of them realized, breath heavy and fingers gripping each other's clothes in a way neither remember doing. jungkook's lips are red and swollen and taehyung can't stop staring at them, can't help but lean a bit closer until jungkook dips his head down to meet him halfway in a kiss.
"i like you a lot more than i like joon, tae," jungkook says. his ears are so red they look like tomatoes.
"more than joon likes jin?" taehyung questions curiously.
"i think i might."
"oh," he hadn't actually been expecting that answer. "crap."and all he can think to do is kiss him again.
/
the next day at school they walk into the cafeteria and jimin immediately spots the fang marks on his neck. he stands and points, yelling, "what the hell is that!!" and jin passes yoongi $20 with a sour look on his face.
"you couldn't have waited two more weeks!?" jimin exclaims. the whole table watches them with mixed emotions, namjoon and hoseok smug and seokjin looking like he's just lost his entire life's savings.
taehyung reaches for jungkook's hand and gives it a squeeze when suddenly it isn't there anymore. glancing over, he realizes jungkook isn't there anymore. instead, a small fruit bat squeaks around in a pile of clothes on the ground.
"ah, don't mind him. that happens sometimes when he gets nervous."
and everything goes on as normal.