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Stiles was standing in front of his mirror, trying on his suit for the last time before the actual wedding. He could already see it all in his head; the bride walking down the aisle, vibrant and more beautiful than her future husband had ever seen her, the vows and the flowers and everyone crying with joy. He just loved the idea of weddings, loved the promise behind them and how.. certain people were in their love. He didn't know if he'd find that for himself, didn't know if he could bear the weight of so much commitment and giving, but he at least enjoyed watching it unravel.
There was a knock on his hotel room, as he tried to put the suit back into its case with minimal wrinkling.
" I think you have the wrong room, cause I didn't order anything."
" Open the door, Stiles." He heard a whisper of a voice he knew a long time ago. A voice he hadn't heard since it'd told him to go save Scott, and then maybe once or twice more, to tell him to stop asking about when he was going to come back because he didn't think he would. A voice that he'd taught himself how to fall out of love with, how to move past.
And it was the weirdest thing, because it was like time hadn't passed at all.
" Derek?" Stiles said, wearily opening the door.
" You're getting married?" Derek pushed the door, pushed past Stiles, always so thoughtless, aggressive even when he didn't need to be.
" Wh – "
" You can't do that. I won't let you. You can't just marry someone else." And Stiles wasn't planning on marrying anyone any time soon, but Derek pushed all his buttons and he was suddenly fuming.
" Wait, hold on. Excuse the fuck out of me, what do you mean someone else? Are you here with a ring or something? Did I promise you something that I forgot about? Is there even anything between us that ties me to you? Because from what I can remember, you left two years ago, told me to stop calling six months later, so the way I see it, I don't owe you shit." Derek looked... shocked. He wasn't used to Stiles being so angry in general, and more specifically at him. Or maybe he expected a warmer, more emotional welcome. Either way, he didn't see things going the way they were and he didn't know what to do with it.
" I – that's not what I meant." Stiles crossed his arms against his chest, so done with this conversation already. Derek thought he was maybe done with him too.
" Look, I know this is probably selfish, and I have no right to ask anything of you, especially this, but – "
" That's an understatement if I've ever heard one."
" But you can't just get married to someone. It's so.. permanent and we need to at least talk before you make this decision."
" You're the one who left, Derek, remember? I don't recall any talking about that decision. You're the one who ran away. You asked me not to expect you to come back anymore, and I respected that. And now, what? You think you'll roll back into town and ask me to talk and I'll just still be waiting? How fucking entitled do you have to be to have this thought process?"
" Stiles – " Derek sighed, like he was the one exhausted by all of this, like he had any right to be unhappy about it.
" No, you know what, get out." Stiles started pushing against Derek's back, turning him around every time he tried to face him. Stiles had grown into his body more, he had some muscle now to him, but Derek could have easily dug his heels into the ground and not budged at all. But he didn't do that, and Stiles didn't know if it was out of respect, or if he wanted to get away from him too.
" No, wait, Stiles,"
" Goodbye, Derek." And with that, Stiles closed the door, turned off the lights, ignored Derek's knocks until they went away, and he decided that he had enough for the day and went – tried to go – to sleep.
It felt like he was asleep for 20 minutes before there were knocks on his door, which he was tempted to ignore, but Scott's voice was more annoying than usual during early mornings and Stiles didn't know how much more he could take of it, so he opened the door, falling back into his bed immediately after.
" So what is this I hear about you getting married?"
" Are you drunk or something? What are you talking about?" Stiles spoke into his pillow, knowing that Scott would be able to hear him anyway.
" Apparently, you told Derek that you were marrying someone else, and he's losing his shit."
" What is all this talk about someone else, like there was someone prior to that or a first option?" Stiles rolled his eyes, sitting up with his legs crossed, knowing that he probably wouldn't be getting any more sleep. Scott was looking at him like he was willing him to cave, to spill some truth that he didn't have or understand or want to think about.
" Why are you looking at me like that?"
" Did you or did you not tell him your wedding was tonight?"
" Technically, I didn't tell him that. He said it, and I just, didn't deny it."
" Why not?" Scott sat by the end of Stiles' bed, wanting to understand. Always so open to listening and absorbing and accepting.
" He was being a dick and I didn't think I owed him an answer at all?"
" Derek, acting like a dick to mask his true feelings? Shocking." Scott snorted, shaking his head in familiarity, because Derek being unable to converse was the most Derek thing he'd ever heard.
" What true feelings, Scott? You know, better than anyone, how little there was between us. You know how he left without even bothering with a goodbye. You know about the calls and the texts and – you can't tell me he deserves respect for his feelings that he failed to admit to or express, over and over again." Scott sighed, nodded, and Stiles hated how he felt like if Scott had pushed a little, he would have spewed out all the emotions he didn't want to be feeling anymore. The bitterness, the anger, the love so overwhelming when abandoned it morphed into something like hate, the lust, the ache, the want. Derek always awakened things inside of Stiles that he didn't think he could feel, didn't know if he'd ever feel them for anyone else.
" Yeah, you're probably right. But, I mean, if you're still feeling something, I think you should maybe not push so hard. Because you both have wasted enough time not figuring whatever it is between you out so maybe you should now, and like, see if anything will come out of it. At least give yourself some sort of closure and, move on if you have to, and don't if you don't want to. You know, figure this shit out."
" Yeah, well. He's probably gone by now anyway, so whatever. It doesn't matter, we have things to do." So Stiles patted Scott's knee, standing up and letting Scott pull him into a hug. He even let himself be comforted by it. Then, they both got going, with Derek shoved to the back of their heads, it was like he never existed. Sort of, kind of.
So Stiles focused on the lost bride's veil and the best men's clashing socks while Scott went through the playlist with the DJ for the last time and helped Kira with her flower crown. And before they knew it, Stiles' dad was walking down the aisle, and Scott was crying as he took his mother's bouquet from her, and Lydia was trying to casually remind the sheriff of his vows which went right out of his head as soon as he laid eyes on Melissa and – it was perfect. Everything they should have had. Everything Stiles wanted for them.
He played them a little song to which they had their first dance, and Scott cried then too, but he was playing the tambourine and had to focus on not messing that up. Kira was on vocals and Malia was in charge of the triangle and somehow she missed her mark on that as well. But the sheriff ended up wrapped around Stiles for 5 minutes straight and Melissa looked at him like he made her whole life worthwhile and Stiles tried not to think of how much love there was between them and how his mother wasn't there to witness any of it. He wondered if his father loved her less now, wondered if Melissa would fill up his heart so much, he'd have to make space for her by getting rid of Claudia. But Stiles knew his father, he knew no one could ever love more, and John would never be greedy with his love, not when it came to Claudia.
His shoes ended up disregarded, buttons loosened, jacket unzipped, as he watched Kira try to teach Scott a dance move, and failing miserably. But she didn't seem to care and neither did he. Stiles thought maybe it was the beer, tinting everything with a shade of joy, tried to blink the buzz away and take it all in, not knowing if he'd ever seen them this happy before, in fear of never seeing them this happy again.
He felt him before he saw him and it was ridiculous how his heart did this thing, like it was telling him that it'd always feel a certain way towards Derek, like it was willing him to just.. give in.
" So, I take it you're not getting married today."
" How observant." Stiles sipped at his beer, tried to skim through all that was roaming inside him, and settle on a single emotion to convey.
" Why didn't you tell me?" Ah, there it was. One emotion cutting right through all else.
" Okay, if you're going to come here and tell me how I should have handled your entitled bullshit attitude, then – "
" No, no. That's no why I am here."
" Then why are you here?" Stiles spared him a side glance, looked straight ahead almost immediately.
" Because, well, Scott invited me."
" Maybe you should go spend some time with him instead." Derek sighed. Stiles wondered how long it would take him to leave this time.
" The wedding looks great. It looks like it's theirs." And Stiles wasn't that angry anymore, not with his dad throwing his head back, laughing so hard it looked like he'd never stop, and Melissa inching closer, resting her head against his vibrating chest, chasing after him even through the laughter.
" Yeah, it's everything their day should be."
" You don't know how hard it was thinking about you with someone else, happy and – "
" What? Kind of like you going away with Braeden without even saying goodbye? That hard, Derek?"
" That's not fair."
This time, Stiles looked harder, braver, more. Derek was wearing a striped grey suit, his eyes filled with things that Stiles didn't understand. And Stiles realized that there was nothing for him there anymore. Maybe there never was. He didn't know why it felt like heartbreak when he hadn't allowed himself to fall. Then he thought that perhaps seeing Derek would always kind of feel like that, like love and heartbreak in equal parts. Maybe they both were even the same thing.
" Look, this is my dad's and Melissa's night. It's not about.. whatever this is. So, grab a drink, eat some good food, and have a good night, okay? It was good seeing you." Stiles put his beer in the air in a silent toast, smiling, as he walked away from Derek.
He danced with Melissa, handing her over to Scott halfway through. Then Lydia wrapped her arms around his waist when he was trying to leave the dance floor, asking questions about Derek, to which he shook his head, silently shutting everything down. She didn't stop though, and as much as he appreciated her concern, it was a lot, so he ended up joining the larger group of Kira, Malia, and Isaac, closing his eyes and allowing the music to tire him to his bones.
As the night went on and the drinks kept coming, Stiles excused himself to go to the bathroom. Scott decided to join him, until he didn't. Smiling in a way that looked all wrong across his face, but Stiles didn't think much of it, as he pushed the door to the bathroom, only to bump straight into Derek.
" Not again," Stiles groaned, rubbing his head, trying to calm the flaring immediate headache.
" I'm sorry, are you okay?" Derek was trying to touch, to comfort, but Stiles pushed him off, went for the door.
" Stiles." Derek growled, threat saturating his voice, it almost sounded inhumane. Animalistic and raw and Stiles didn't know why he was so turned on by that, by the thought of Derek losing control over him.
" What do you want from me, Derek?"
" I want you to know that I really am sorry for how I handled everything."
" Okay, noted, now can I go?" Stiles made another attempt at leaving, but Derek wasn't having it.
" Stiles, stop being a dick and actually listen to me. I'm sorry, okay? I know I was inconsiderate and cruel and selfish and I'm sorry. It was just a lot, between losing my senses and Kate being back and, like - being a werewolf is all I've ever been and suddenly feeling like I can't be that, messed with my head. But I shouldn't have messed with yours and – I'm just sorry. For all of it. And I don't expect you to understand or be okay with it or with me but – I just really want to do this right this time."
Stiles wasn't leaving anymore. He wasn't doing much of anything. Except maybe a bit of crying, maybe a bit of smiling too, and a whole lot of trying to remain unfazed by it all.
" What does that mean? What are you trying to say, Derek?" Because Stiles was so tired of trying to figure it out for him, trying to decode and assume and make things out of nothings. He just wanted to hear it.
" I mean, I want to take you out on a date. A few dates. And I want to move in with you eventually and I want us to get a dog together, so that you can take out all the dog jokes you have on someone else. I want everything with you and I want it to be okay to be selfish about it. I just, really want to search for romcoms with you and figure out how much of a crybaby you are about them, and – "
The bathroom door opened, and Isaac came in, looking all awkward and oblivious. He went into one of the stools, finished up, then spent a good minute washing his hands and redoing his scarf in front of the mirror, completely ignoring Derek's threatening glare and Stiles' impatience.
" So," Isaac started, being met immediately with a united " Get out!", so he did.
" What was I saying again?"
" Romcoms."
" Right, yeah. So, like, maybe we can, I don't know, do something, whatever you want really, just," And Derek didn't realize he was looking away, moving his hands around, trying to materialize how he felt, until his hands hit something and he realized that Stiles had been inching closer, was now right in his personal space, crowding him, surrounding him. And the next time his hands hit something, they were wrapped around Stiles' waist, pulling him in, and Stiles was the one moving his hands trying to touch, to feel.
" Let's start with anything Gyllenhaal."
And they did. And they never ran out of movies, or things to say, or love. They never ran out of love.