Chapter Text
Ten days before his 17th birthday and Katsuki almost lost all of his hearing.
In all honesty, he had expected it for some time. The possibility of losing one of his senses (hearing and/or sight, especially) due to his quirk had always been a lingering thought in the back of his mind. Katsuki was more than aware of the consequences and he convinced himself that, yes, he was being careful; he was very meticulous about his work. Of course, because the universe told Bakugou Katsuki to go fuck himself, one moment of carelessness in the middle of their first hero training class of their second year, he was run into a tight spot. The blast he let loose a large blast that ended up becoming a fucking disaster. He wasn’t prepared to let out something that extreme, or rather his body wasn’t prepared to handle the intense aftermath. When he released the explosion, there was a oxygen tank close by that was leaking, and not having noticed, he let out a the blast, fucking him over forever. He had never heard anything so painfully loud before in his life.
Katsuki woke up in the infirmary with aching arms and heard unnaturally quiet and muffled speaking. His parents were at his bedside, talking to Recovery Girl and Aizawa, but Katsuki couldn’t hear them no matter how hard he tried to focus on what they were saying. When they noticed him wake up, his mother and father smiled and started talking to him, presumably asking him questions about how he felt, but he barely heard anything they said, resorting to reading their lips.. He was still disoriented, but he was lucid enough to speak.
“Why the hell are you whispering?”
Everyone’s expression in the room fell from relief of him being awake to shock. His parents looked close to distraught .
Katsuki passed the test, but he lost nearly 80% of his hearing. After some more recovery time, they were able to improve it to about 70%, but it wasn’t going to get much better than that. Aizawa told him that had he been any closer to the oxygen tank, even just half a meter closer, he definitely could have died. That shocked Katsuki; not because of the idea that he almost got killed (he’s been mere centimeters away from death too much to be shocked by it anymore), but because he had been so careless. He thought back to the training over and over again, trying to catch what he did wrong. Maybe there were gaps in his memory as a consequence of getting knocked out, but in everything he remembered, there was nothing that suggested he fucked up in any way. Katsuki couldn’t figure out what happened or what he did wrong. Not knowing exactly what happened really bothered Katsuki. He had to admit that maybe this was just a stupid mistake on his part.
It weighed on him for a couple of weeks. At first, the loss of his hearing bothered Katsuki, but it was for very small things that had very easy solutions. He was provided with outstanding hearing aids that made it feel like he hadn’t lost his hearing at all; the only difference was that he had to focus a bit more on what he was trying to listen to. However, when he didn’t have his hearing aids in, not being able to communicate well because he was shit at reading lips and not hearing what they said on television was annoying; sign language and closed captions were truly a fucking blessing. So, Katsuki wasn’t devastated over basically ripping apart his eardrums, and he figured that was because he had been mentally preparing for it for some time now.
He had started learning sign language right away and picked it up very quickly (much to the chagrin of Kaminari; they had made a bet over who could learn Japanese Sign Language the fastest, being that Kaminari was extremely good at learning new languages). Without Katsuki knowing, his classmates had also started learning sign language for his sake. Eijirou was very enthusiastic about learning, so he and Katsuki practiced together. Katsuki refused to say “thank you” to his classmates that were attempting to be accommodating, but he also no longer interpreted gestures like this as others looking down on him, and he was secretly grateful that he wouldn’t have to be worried about not being able to communicate with others.
The day of his 17th birthday was mostly spent in school because it fell on a Tuesday, but after classes were over, his friends (yes, they are his friends , he can finally admit it) dragged him to the arcade. Then, Eijirou, Sero, Ashido, and Kaminari dragged him to a nice and small of small family owned restaurant. The place was almost quiet and the staff was kind and the food was delicious . It was the type of establishment that fit Katsuki’s preferences perfectly. Oh, and there was a really nice black cat named Sora and she was missing one eye. The fact that Sora had decided to stay with him for the entire time he was in the restaurant solidified the fact that this was the best birthday he’s ever had. Yes, the food was spicy and fucking awesome, and the arcade was fun, but the cat? The cat was the best part.
Now, since losing his hearing, Katsuki has discovered a very wonderful small blessing: if he wanted to ignore someone, he just could . When he was with his classmates or friends, he didn’t have to be able to hear them to know that their chatter was loud and bordering on obnoxious. Katsuki didn’t typically turn off his hearing aids around friends, but he did with people he found no interest in or simply disliked.
Katsuki knew that his moods were improving and that he was snapping at people less and gaining a reign on his temper, but the efforts he put into changing his behaviour and attitude were exhausting no matter how good the end result was. Sometimes he just really needed people to shut the fuck up, and if he wasn’t allowed to scream that in the general direction of the pestering nonsense, then he was just going to turn off his hearing aids. Sometimes, he would silently take them out in front of the person or people bothering him so they would get the fucking point and leave him alone. His classmates took note of this. “It’s like when I put in my headphones,” Jirou commented to him once. “It’s the clear sign of ‘don’t talk to me, leave me alone’. Yours is just funnier.” He smirked at that. She was right.
“You can’t just take out or turn off your hearing aids when people bother you, Katsuki,” Eijirou lightly scolded, but Katsuki saw the little twitch of a smile betraying the corner of his mouth. Yeah, Eijirou hadn’t been particularly pleased when he found out that Katsuki had turned off his hearing aids during a class discussion in history. He already knew the material so why did he have to talk about it with the rest of the class? It was stupid and made no sense. “That’s kind of rude.”
“What’s rude is everyone being so fucking annoying around me,” Katsuki mumbled back, not facing Eijirou, but instead looking down at his English notes. He highlighted five words in yellow and added a small note on the side Complex words, revise again .
Eijirou actually smiled this time, amused. “That’s not how things work, babe,” he chuckled. “Just don’t try that on me.” He had said it in a light tone, edging on teasing, but the underlying tense uncertainty was hard for Katsuki to miss.
Katsuki looked up at Eijirou and narrowed his eyes. Of course, Eijirou was just joking about that, but whenever he made a little comment that was even fraction self-deprecating, it caught Katsuki’s attention. “You’re the only one I actually want to listen to, idiot.” The tiniest shadows of self doubt in Eijirou’s eyes were washed away, and the smile became genuine. “Why the fuck would I want to ignore my boyfriend? Don’t say such stupid things.”
As Katsuki expected, Eijirou threw his arm around Katsuki and pulled him into a strong embrace, knocking away their writing utensils and notebooks. “Aww! I love you, Katsuki!”
Burying his face into the crook of Eijirou’s neck, Katsuki huffed out a laugh against the fabric of Eijirou’s shirt. “Love you, too, dipshit.”
“I’m glad you like to hear me talk a lot.”
“I never said that.”
“I’ll make sure to keep talking and talking.” Well, now Eijirou was just trying to be a little shit, wasn’t he.
Katsuki pulled away and looked at Eijirou who was, yeah, wearing a shit-eating grin. “Don’t you dare start being fucking annoying, Riot. I swear—“
“Does that mean you wanna hear my voice all the time? Do you want me to read to you? I can sing your favorite songs. I can recount epic tales of dragon battles and—“
Katsuki couldn’t help the laugh that came out, which only made Eijirou’s smile brighter in return. “’Recount epic tales’—where the fuck are these dramatic ass words coming from? What the hell is coming out of your mouth?”
“Denki knows lots of dramatic words, so I’m picking it up from him.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “I’m aware that Donkihote Pikachu knows how to read sometimes.”
“Yeah, he also recommended some books to me, but I don’t know if I’ll like Hemmingway—“ Eijirou cut himself off at the sound of a text message notification from his phone. Katsuki’s phone ping ’d as well. He looked at the screen and asked, “Hey, Katsuki, they’re asking if we wanna watch a movie with the class in a little bit.” Katsuki didn’t have to ask who “they” were—he knew Eijirou was talking about Ashido, Kaminari, and Sero. It was probably their group chat. “Do you wanna go? They say they’re getting snacks right now.”
Katsuki wanted to say no so that he could spend more time alone with Eijirou and finish highlighting and going over his notes, but he knew that Eijirou wanted to be with his other friends in class and that neither of them were going to get anymore work done tonight. He closed his English textbook and sighed, “Yeah, let’s go.”
Eijirou hopped off Katsuki’s bed and said, “Alright! Let’s go!”
Katsuki held up a hand. “Hold the fuck up. Let me just…I’m gonna take a shower and then I’ll meet you downstairs.”
That was more than enough for Eijirou. He leaned over and kissed Katsuki softly, just a few moments of peace and intimacy for them until they went down to the crowd. After he pulled away, he put on his slippers and said, “See you downstairs soon, babe. Have a good shower!” Before closing the door behind him, Eijirou blew him another kiss and smiled like the goddamn sun.
When the door closed, Katsuki let out a long breath through his nose. He stood from his bed and gathered their notebooks and supplies and placed them on his desk. Katsuki filed Eijirou’s notes back in order so he wouldn’t have to when he came back to get his stuff. After that, he grabbed the bottle of pills sitting at the corner of his desk and a bottle of water from his mini fridge. Katsuki took out a pill, put it in his mouth, drank the water, and swallowed. He closed both bottles and tried not to think about it.
Katsuki wasn’t against medications or therapy or anything of that sort. When it came to other people, he didn’t think that others who needed it were weak or useless. He understood that people need help, that the job of being a professional hero was an incredibly taxing and traumatizing one.
It was just that when it came to himself, Katsuki viewed it as the worst possible thing he could be doing. He knew the CBD helped a lot when he was feeling Really Bad and that he was getting somewhere in therapy (though he would never admit it to anyone else especially his fucking therapist), but it didn’t make the entire ordeal any less painful to deal with. The CBD is the only thing he would accept from his psychiatrist, outright refusing to take weird fucking unnatural chemicals that could fuck with his brain and mess him up during training give him side effects that he couldn’t handle. He knew he was incredibly stubborn and talking about his problems was not easy. Katsuki stopped finally being an ass about the whole thing when he was tired of not sleeping, having chronic nightmares, unbearable mood swings, and feeling like he was going to snap all the time. He was exhausted from being so high wrung with anxiety all the time, from feeling the constant pressures of being himself , and Katsuki was finally so tired of being so fucking angry all the time. He knew he had to draw a line somewhere if he wanted to succeed.
“ But you also need to draw a line in order to find happiness ,” his therapist’s voice rang clearly in his head. He frowned.
After grabbing his shower stuff and clothes, he headed over to the baths.
The walk to the baths was quiet. When he got there, it was blessedly empty. He showered in peace and was left to his thoughts. While he showered, he thought of his assignments, that stupid report he had to finish for English, and he thought of Kirishima Eijirou. He was waiting for Katsuki with the others, and Katsuki hoped he wasn’t bored or lonely, and knowing Eijirou, he was probably doing some stupid prank or some other absolutely ludicrous nonsense with Ashido, Kaminari, and Sero right about now.
When he got into the bath to soak and relax, Katsuki thought more about Eijirou and his heart ached as if he hadn’t seen him just barely twenty minutes ago (this whole love thing was fucking stupid. Why couldn’t Eijirou be with him all the time? Then his heart wouldn’t hurt like this when they were apart).
Katsuki recognized he was being slightly more clingy these past couple of days, but he couldn’t help it. With summer vacation rolling by soon, the entire former Class 1-A was beginning to feel tense, Katsuki in particular. No one even needed to say anything because they were all aware . It was the tense silence of knowing that loomed above them. Even though the class rosters for Class 2-A and B had been mixed a bit, the majority of the class roster stayed the same, therefore most of Class 1-A was still together in 2-A. It was a relief for everyone (even for Katsuki, though he would never admit to it).
Sleep was getting harder again, and even with medication that helps his anxiety and gets him to relax, his therapist says, “ Sometimes, the anniversaries are the hardest .” Fucking fantastic. So, not only did go through all the traumatizing the shit and have nightmare about it, but he had to feel like stinking crap about it the next year, too? Honestly, the universe could fuck right off. The only good thing from all of this shit fest was Kirishima Eijirou.
Kirishima Eijirou.
Eijirou.
Red Riot.
The Unbreakable Red Riot.
Eijirou Eijirou Eijirou…
Katsuki jolted up and his first thought was, “Did I fall asleep?” He grabbed his phone that lay close to the bath and his towel. He dozed off for about five minutes. Whatever. After unplugging the drain to the bath, he got out of the bath and dried himself off. He hurried his pace slightly because he didn’t want to leave Eijirou waiting any longer. Katsuki dressed himself, went to his room to leave his things, slid his phone into his back pocket, and went downstairs to the common room to join everyone else.
When he arrived, some of his classmates were bringing snacks to the couches and someone was yelling at someone about something, but Katsuki didn’t bother focusing on the voice long enough to distinguish who it was, but it sounded vaguely like Uraraka.
He was looking for Eijirou, and of course he found him in the kitchen with the rest of the “squad” ( why did he let them use that term ) and he was trying to stuff as many marshmallows into his mouth as he possibly could. When he spotted Katsuki, he paused and smiled (gross) and tried to shout but was muffled, “Babe!” God, he was so fucking disgusting, Katsuki loved him.
“For fucks sakes, what the hell are you clowns doing?”
From then on, the night went smoothly (or as smoothly as a night with twenty really weird loud teenagers with powerful quirks could be). Luckily, it was a Saturday night and that meant that no one gave a damn about going to sleep early (not even Iida, which surprised just about everyone and their mother).
They watched an old horror film from 2018 called Suspiria, which was a remake of a horror movie with the same name from 1977. It didn’t fucking matter if it was fake, okay? The special effects were too fucking realistic and Katsuki was so fucking grateful he had Eijirou to sleep and he knew the scary shit couldn’t get him in his sleep or whatever, he knew that , but holy fucking crap why did they watch that? He wasn’t the only one scared (HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT) and it was overall a really good movie, but what the fuck . The only people who weren’t scared were Ashido, Shinsou, and Deku what the fuck Deku you freak . At one point they even laughed . What the fuck.
When they all agreed that mind fuck they just witnessed needed to be cleansed from their brains, the class began a very passionate tournament of classic Dance Dance Revolution. Once the mats were brought out, it was no mercy from there. It was full of shouting, cheering, and cruel defeat. The tournament ended with Ashido as victor, which came to the surprise of nobody, but it was a close call in favour of Hagakure for a minute there.
When Ashido won, Katsuki decided that he was done for the night. It was late— “You’re such an old man, Bakugou; it’s only, like, ten thirty.”— and he wanted some peace and quiet and some goddamn sleep . He hoped he could get a full eight hours without interruption, but with that fucking cursed film, he didn’t know how high those chances would be. Luckily, he had Eijirou. They both said their goodbyes (Katsuki grunted out a, “Night, bitches”, which totally counted) and they headed up the fourth floor.
The moment they got into Katsuki’s room and closed the door, Katsuki said, “What the fuck was with that movie?”
Eijirou laughed, “Babe, I honestly thought you were going to tear off my skin with how hard you were clawing me. It’s just a movie.”
Katsuki’s mouth hung open incredulously. “Just—just— Kirishima Eijirou , you mean to tell me that that was just a movie? The fuckin’—she fuckin’—her limbs were fuckin’ just—what the fuck? The fucking witch bitch ballerina teacher made her fucking limbs just—they tore off —I’m disgusted.”
That only made Eijirou laugh even harder. Katsuki crossed his arms and Eijirou wrapped him up in a hug. “Don’t be scared, baby, I got you,” he cooed and Katsuki smacked him upside the head lightly, which earned him a pinch in the side from Eijirou. “I’ll make sure the evil spirits don’t get you.”
“Why did my savior have to be a fucking asshole?”
“To match all your wonderful and kind personality traits that make you so lovable and popular.”
“Shut up , Eijirou, oh my god.”
Eijirou kissed him instead and Katsuki kissed back, feeling a sense of calmness coming from Eijirou that he was getting influenced by (damn Eijirou and his ability to sway Katsuki so easily).
They decided to get ready for bed because he was actually tired and Eijirou didn’t want to deal with a tired and grumpy boyfriend. Katsuki loved sleep and Eijirou loved Katsuki, so it was a win-win for everyone involved.
By the time they removed all their books from the bed and Katsuki was comfortably settled in Eijirou’s arms under the covers, he was completely and utterly relaxed. He let out a sigh and said, “Tonight wasn’t unbearable.”
Eijirou gasped dramatically. “My boyfriend had a fun night! I gotta call the press.”
Katsuki chuckled, “Shut up, idiot.”
Eijirou’s chest vibrated with his laugh. Katsuki felt the soft touch of Eijirou’s fingers running through his hair and it was wonderful. Over these past months, Eijirou had gotten taller and broader, and even though it kind of bothered Katsuki that Eijirou was taller than him, he was also very happy that when Katsuki was held by him, he could feel Eijirou all around. It was a full protective embrace. He was really becoming the unbreakable wall he was always meant to be (the one he always has been, but Eijirou had a lot of trouble saying).
“Katsuki.”
“Hm.”
“Look at me for a sec.”
With a small groan, Katsuki pulled away from Eijirou’s chest and looked at him. Instead of a smile, his mouth was a little tight and eyebrows slightly furrowed. He hated these kinds of looks on Eijirou’s face. “Are you okay?”
“What’re you talking about?”
“You—“ Eijirou sighed. He started again. “Lately, I’ve just been noticing that you’re more tense, like something’s on your mind, but you haven’t told me anything. I thought it was nothing, but I know you, so I know it’s not nothing. So, if there’s something that’s bothering you, or if there’s anything on your mind, please tell me.” He bit his bottom lip and Katsuki hated when he did that because Eijirou has accidentally made himself bleed from that a few times. “Look, the training camp is gonna happen soon and I know that’s probably not helping your stress at all, but I just-- ugh, I don’t know, Katsuki. I just wanna know if something’s wrong.”
His eyes were soft and full of concern and that overwhelming love Katsuki always had trouble understanding. How could he be so lucky to be on the receiving end of it? Katsuki was about to do it-- he was about to tell Eijirou about his increasing anxiety because of summer vacation approaching and how that was really fucking with his head, but he had his therapist now, so he didn’t have to burden Eijirou with all of this. He didn’t want to say. He couldn’t tell Eijirou about these problems or the therapist because he didn’t want him to worry (and he was also restricted from talking about therapy). Eijirou is always worrying about him, always trying to protect him, and Katsuki didn’t want that to be weighing down his shoulders anymore. “I’m fine, Eijirou,” he lied and fuck he felt terrible. “Go to sleep.” Katsuki kissed his jaw and nuzzled against Eijirou’s chest again. I hate this so fucking much , his mind yelled. “I love you.” God please I fucking hate this so much.
After a few moments, Eijirou let out a small sigh and said, “I love you, too.” He reached over to the lamp and switched off the light.
Katsuki felt the weight of the lie beating against his rib cage.