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You don’t change your entire look just for fun—It has a meaning and purpose behind it. And your hair is the finishing touch. When you dye your hair, it’s not just for the thrill of it. You’re changing you’re entire appearance and you’re bending your persona. Or, alternatively, your change in persona is why you dye your hair. At least, that’s how it is for Donghyuck. Growing up, his external style was how he expressed himself, and it continued to be his outlet as he got older. Through every mood and every phase, he let it show through his look and—most importantly—his hair color.
His mom first let him dye his hair in the fourth grade. He dyed it green; Hulk was his favorite Avenger. He kept it for the rest of elementary school and then started trying out different colors in middle school. He stopped making himself so eye-catching in seventh grade after being made fun of for having pink hair. He liked the pink—it looked good on him—but children are fragile. It was simpler to just be normal again.
Then in high school, after seeing countless shirts with glittery letters screaming Be Yourself, he realized just how much middle school sucks and how much nicer pink hair looks on him compared to brown. He went through every color his freshman year, just like he did in early middle school, and no one said a thing. Everyone was too worried about themselves then to pay attention to what he was doing. High school does that to you.
After years of coloring his hair and realizing no one gives a shit anymore if you’re a boy with pink hair, he started getting more into fashion. On Get To Know You worksheets that they made you do every first day of the school year, they always asked for your hobbies. Now he had something to put other than “making shrines of Michael Jackson.” Being fashion-conscious made him more confident in himself, and it just felt good. Dyeing his hair opening up a whole new world of style for him. He had found something that he was good at.
He made friends easier than most people had in those four years. It wasn’t hard to show his full self to the world when he liked his full self. That’s how he met his closest friends. One boy named Jaemin found his mention of Michael Jackson shrines funny and so a friendship arose. They made a shrine together once after Donghyuck admitted that he had never actually made one.
Jaemin introduced him to more people—he was popular. Jeno, Renjun, Yangyang, Chenle, Jisung. They were a real posse—unbreakable friends—and they loved Donghyuck’s sporadic hair changes. Jeno even let him dye green streaks in his hair once. It looked good—Donghyuck wished he had kept it. He could hear Jeno’s excuse for dyeing it back to black in his head, “Hyuck, I’m on the basketball team and our school color is red. People think I’m promoting Neo Culture High School’s team when we play them,”
Donghyuck remembered what he had told Jeno then: “Fuck them! It’s your hair,” The green really did look good on him, “And Neo Culture’s color is that gross neon green. Your green is classy,”
“Hyuck,”
“What?”
“Once I heard a freshman call me The Jeno Before Christmas. Green and red,”
“Oh, shit, okay, but I’m that one dyeing your hair back. I don’t trust you with black hair dye and your white bathroom tiles,”
All seven of them remained friends through high school and after too. Now that they were all in college, most of them had moved away to study elsewhere. Jaemin left to study abroad in China—he was unpredictable like that—and Chenle was in New York and Jisung was in Los Angeles. Yangyang was taking a year off this year to “find himself.” Last Donghyuck heard he was in Korea, traveling with a dance company. Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck were the only ones that stayed. Now that their group was all split up, it was even more important to him that he remained close to Jeno and Renjun. There were idiots, but they were loving idiots and they were interesting idiots.
It was a midsummer’s Saturday evening when Donghyuck stood in front of his bathroom sink. He would be returning to school in a month and a half—August—but more immediately, he would be returning to work on Monday.
He worked at PetSmart with Jeno, which was a lot more fun than it sounded. Donghyuck liked to watch Jeno watch the kittens during their breaks. Renjun was an artist and student simultaneously—and he was more talented than anybody else Donghyuck knew personally—which meant that he also had no money. Jeno and Renjun lived together off campus—Donghyuck lived on—so Jeno helped him pay for food. Every once in a while Renjun would score a huge project, like the mural outside the local library he did two months prior, and would bring home more money than PetSmart gave. If it weren’t for Renjun and his gifts, they’d all be living on campus.
On this particular Saturday, Donghyuck was examining himself and his hair in the mirror. His hair was brown then—more red than brown in the right light. His hair hadn’t been brown long enough, though, for the color to fade into a gross mud, but it was so normal and it was getting boring. It reminded him of seventh grade, too. The color looked fine on him and he liked the way it brought out the golden tints in his skin in the sun, but he also liked being stared at, and no one stares at your hair if it’s brown. It was time for a change. The only reason he had this color in his hair in the first place was because of his cousin’s wedding the previous week. His hair had been lavender when his mother told him that he “stood out too much” and that it was “inappropriate for the occasion.” And so, the week-long golden-brown-haired era of his life began.
He started rummaging through the bathroom cabinet in front of him, pulling out the hair bleach and his collection of colorful dyes. His hair was too short to ever use up a full container. Donghyuck already had on his rattiest t-shirt that he saved for painting with Renjun and dyeing his hair, so he was ready for a color change then and there.
Then he remembered his responsibilities as an adult. He had a date the next day. With a real stranger. A real boy. What if he fucked up and accidentally left the bleach in for too long and then all of his hair fell out? At least then he would be stared at, he reasoned.
Donghyuck talked himself into it, If you don’t dye your hair today, your date is going to think you’re lame. Who would dye their hair brown when their hair is naturally dark brown. That’s lame.
He didn’t even know who his date was and he wanted to make a good first impression. He would be going on the first blind date of his life the next morning. Renjun and Jeno organized it and then talked him into it. They had this supposedly very handsome and lonely friend in need of a boyfriend. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if they were talking about him or the mystery man. Either way, Donghyuck felt all of the emotions; excitement, nervousness, etc. He didn’t know how much he could trust his friends to find someone that he’d like—Jaemin was the best at doing that, but he was in China at the moment. The only description Renjun and Jeno gave about Donghyuck’s mystery boy was that he had peachy-blonde hair and pretty cheekbones. He didn’t even know his date’s name. They were going to meet at a local café on the edge of the town’s lake. Donghyuck and his friends used to hang out there after school in high school. It was a small town and everything was within walking distance. The park next to the café was cozy—maybe they’d spend time there. Donghyuck tried to imagine how the day might go, but it was lacking an important piece of the puzzle: a face, a name, and Jaemin’s rationality and responsibility.
Donghyuck ended up going with a bright red color for his hair that he had only used a couple of times before. He mixed it with a dash of magenta, and it turned out exactly the color that he was imagining. He bleached his hair and rinsed it out. Every time he bleached his hair—which was more often than most could say they bleached theirs—he liked to stare at himself in the mirror for a good five minutes and snicker alone. He slicked the blonde mess of hair back and pretended he was Draco Malfoy. His hair was sticky enough that it looked like he put gel in it. One day he would keep it blonde. This was not the day.
When he was done dyeing his hair red and rinsing that out too, the shoulders of his old t-shirt were stained red and you could see the traces of other colors from other dyeing sessions. Blues and purples, pinks and browns. The scrubbed the tub clean of dye before getting ready for bed and put a towel on his pillow. One time, after coloring his hair blue, he woke up to smurfed sheets and pillowcases. Most of his hair dye lessons were learned from experience.
He woke up the next morning after accidentally sleeping in. Looking in the mirror, he felt much more comfortable with his hair red instead of brown. Fuck his cousin and his holy matrimony. Color was his thing, and red was his color. He got up with just barely enough time to get ready and not be too late. Donghyuck and his date were supposed to meet at noon at the café. He put on a pair of barely ripped jeans and a short-sleeved shirt with scarlet stripes. He didn’t want to get too hot, but he didn’t want to get too sunburned either. He put on a touch of glittery eyeshadow for good measure and checked his hair in the mirror, ruffling it messy before turning away. It looked even better than Jeno’s green-streaked hair from eleventh grade did. Grabbing his wallet, his keys, and his phone, he ran out the door, worried that he was going to be late after all. The café they were going to was a huge tourist spot this time of year and filled up pretty quickly around brunch. They could beat the crowd if he hurried.
Going by car should’ve only taken a couple of minutes, but with all of the late morning traffic, he did more waiting than driving. He was definitely late. When he finally did get to his destination’s street, the sidewalks were busy and the parking lots were full. He could see families—tourist families—walking through the park in bathing suits heading for the town’s lake. The only parking spot he could find was two blocks away, and when he finally did get to the café, there was a line out the door. It was a hot summer day and he was going to the only place with cold drinks for four blocks in every direction. You would think a lake town with heat waves of 110 degrees Fahrenheit would do a better job with that.
Donghyuck walked hastily through the open doors and past the line of people waiting to order. He prayed that his date hadn’t given up and left yet—Donghyuck probably would’ve if the roles were switched. It was Satan’s armpit outside and the doors being open let out all of the cold air coming from the AC. He checked his phone for the time. Twenty minutes past noon.
Donghyuck scanned the heads of the people at tables—too many people and not enough tables. Every single one of them was full, including the excess fold-up tables outside the windows. And there was no one in sight with pink-blonde hair. He hoped for the best, looking for anywhere to sit and wait.
The only seat remaining was at a table for two in the back against the wall. A boy about his age—maybe older—with ink-black hair and an undercut was sitting there looking at his phone. Donghyuck watched him look up from his screen when he heard footsteps, and they made eye contact for a split second. The boy looked away just as quickly. His eyebrows reminded Donghyuck of seagulls. It almost made him laugh. He thought about throwing pieces of bread at them. The boy was wearing a white shirt with Beyoncé on it from the “Hold Up” music video. Donghyuck always did love that yellow dress. The jacket he had on was navy and green and Adidas-tagged, although Donghyuck couldn’t imagine why he would be wearing it. The sun was as high in the sky as possible and the pavement was heating up quickly. The last thing you need is a jacket when the rocks in the cement reflect the light above, blinding the innocent. The jacket looked good on him all the same.
Too bad this wasn’t his date. He was adorable.
Donghyuck shifted his weight uncomfortably and cleared his throat. He tried to raise his voice over the noise of human chatter and half-shouted, “Excuse me,” The seagull-eyebrowed boy snapped his head back in his direction, “Is this seat taken?”
They both looked equally uncomfortable. He replied, “Uh, yeah, it is. I’m sorry,”
He sounded genuinely sorry.
Donghyuck continued talking, having no other choice unless he wanted to stand outside and wait in the heat, “I’m just waiting for my date. We’re supposed to meet here, but I don’t see him yet,”
Seagull Boy didn’t flinch at Donghyuck’s use of he. That’s always a good sign. Instead, he smiled. He didn’t look as cool and intimidating once he started smiling—he reminded Donghyuck more of a baby lion now.
“Oh, alright,” Then he motioned his hand vaguely to the chair across from him, “You can sit here and wait if you want,”
Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that this boy really wasn’t his date. He was cute and polite and his eyebrows were more endearing now opposed to tragic.
“Thanks,” Donghyuck returned the smile and took a seat.
Donghyuck tried to turn the other way and people-watch to avoid making the other boy feel trapped, but he started a conversation with Donghyuck anyway.
“Hi, I’m Mark,” He held out his hand.
Donghyuck took the boy’s hand and shook it, “I’m Donghyuck,” This felt weird, “Nice to meet you,” They were both shouting to be heard over everyone talking, but Donghyuck didn’t really mind it. As if he would pass up an opportunity to talk to a cute stranger with a Beyoncé shirt.
He took his hand back when he remembered that his actual date could walk in at any moment.
“Donghyuck,” Mark began casually, letting the name stick in his brain, “You’re waiting for your date, huh? What’s his name?”
“I don’t actually know, yet. It was a blind date set up by my friends,” Donghyuck admitted. He didn’t know where to put his hands, so clasped them together on top of the table, making him seem completely in his element. He didn’t like looking timid in front of strangers.
“They sent you on a blind date,” Mark’s voice got louder and his eyes widened in surprise. He expressive, Donghyuck could already tell, “and they didn’t give you a name?” He let laughter seep into his words.
Donghyuck sighed as if to say I know, right and explained, “They’re seriously stupid. I dunno how I’ve put up with them all this time,”
He heard Mark mutter something along the lines of I bet. What you’re supposed to say in conversation to sound like you’re listening. He was good at that, Donghyuck realized—conversation and saying what you’re supposed to.
Now that Mark had invited him into a conversation, Donghyuck continued talking and questioned, “Why are you here all alone during the busiest time of year—and day?”
“I’m actually meeting a date too—a blind date as well—but I got here first, I guess,” Mark said, “I’m sure he’ll be here soon,”
“He?” Donghyuck wiggled his eyebrows jokingly.
“People are gay, Donghyuck,” Mark sighed and pretended to be annoyed.
They both burst out in laughter, and if it weren’t for the already deafeningly loud setting around them, they would’ve been stared at. Laughing with Mark felt good. Donghyuck thought about how if they had met in high school, they would probably be friends. He liked the thought of that—him and this boy being friends, even though they had only just been introduced. It made him smile even after they had stopped giggling.
Mark told him, “The guys that put me up to this told me I’m meeting a boy with brown hair and that I’ll know it’s him when I see him,”
Donghyuck assured Mark, “So your friends didn’t give you a name either?” Donghyuck laughed at Mark’s hypocrisy. They both leaned over the table comfortably as if they weren’t meeting for the first time as complete strangers, “I wish I could help you more with your missing date. At least we know I’m not him. I don’t have brown hair, so…” He trailed off.
“Yeah,” Mark sighed when he spoke, “Too bad, huh?”
Donghyuck hummed in response and smiled, but Mark probably couldn’t hear it over the sounds of families eating and talking together. They sat in silence for a while longer. It had already been 45 minutes past the set meeting time. His mystery boy probably went home before Donghyuck had arrived, thinking that he had been stood up. It made Donghyuck feel guilty, especially considering he wouldn’t know who to apologize to. And in this situation, it would feel weird to reschedule. He blamed it on Jeno and Renjun for picking such a shitty time of day to go out. Dumbasses. And now who would he could he go out with? Mark had a date planned, so he was forced to rule him out by the laws of morality.
Realizing that it was pointless to stay any longer, Donghyuck stood up from his chair and waved a goodbye to the boy across the table, “It was nice to meet you, Mark. I’m gonna go—I must’ve arrived too late, and he probably went home,” He pushed in his chair to make more room in the tiny restaurant with too many people moving around in it, “Good luck with your date,”
Mark visibly panicked for a second, and he tried to stand up in his chair. His chair hit the wall behind him and he had to sit back down. “Hey, wait, Donghyuck,” He called out.
Donghyuck turned back around. He was starting to feel kind of claustrophobic now that he was standing up next to all the other people without chairs. The people in the booth next to their table were getting out as they spoke, and Donghyuck had to squeeze by them, trying not to invade any personal space bubbles too much.
Mark cleared his throat and managed out with obvious difficulty, “Would you maybe—since both of our people didn’t show up—would you want to hang out with me instead? We can get out of here and, like, go to the park or something. Or not, if-if you’re busy,” He looked uncomfortable.
Donghyuck smiled widely; Mark’s nervousness was cute, just like everything else about him so far. “I would love to. Let’s go now, while we still can,”
The table was small enough so that Donghyuck could reach across and grab Mark’s wrist to pull him away from it. Before he could watch Mark’s teeth-showing grin plaster across his face completely, he was dragging him past the lines of people to the outside world. They followed behind the people who were in the booth next to them a couple of moments ago. When they finally made it out alive, the air outside was hot and stuffy and the sun was still burning high and mighty in the sky. It made Donghyuck skin glow nicely and he knew it. His eyeshadow probably looked really pretty right about now. It made him feel more confident—the red hair was probably to blame for the extra sense of poise.
When they were both outside the café and walking down the sidewalk toward the park, Donghyuck let go of Mark’s wrist. Their world together was quieter, making it much more uncomfortable. He almost forgot that they were complete strangers. Maybe Jeno knew him—Jeno knew everyone.
They had walked most of the way in silence before Donghyuck glanced up at Mark. He was already looking in Donghyuck’s direction, and when Mark realized that he’d been caught staring, he snapped his head away. It made them both smile. Mark was a dork, but he was good at not making it annoying.
They got to the park and had a minor discussion about where to sit. Scanning the park that was looking out to the lake, you could see just how packed it was—all with tourists. The park had a ledge dropping off to the tiny beach surrounding the lake. There wasn’t any room to move on the sand past the ledge, so everyone’s towels and bags littered the park. The grass was only green in patches—they didn’t get any rain this time of year—so most of the open plots were crunchy and dry.
Donghyuck and Mark looked at each other and sighed. If only they had met in a more peaceful setting at a different time of day. They settled on an empty piece of grass underneath a tree at the far end of the park. There weren’t many people over there—everyone else liked the sunny spots closer to the beach.
Mark sat down first in the shade underneath the tree. He sat with criss-crossed legs and pulled his shins towards him with his hands. Donghyuck sat down next to him and watched the people far away to their left. Everyone had sunburned backs and shoulders—he imagined himself smacking their burned skin. He stretched out his legs and held himself up with his hands behind him. The grass was crisp underneath his fingers, but it was easy to ignore.
It was comfortable sitting with Mark. He felt homely and it was like they were already friends. Donghyuck felt like he could talk to Mark in the same way that he would talk to a classmate or a colleague. Someone who works the same shift as him at PetSmart maybe.
Mark looked over at him. Donghyuck was the one looking towards the sun and he had to put his hand up to see Mark clearly. The latter spoke first once again and asked, “What are your hobbies?”
“What?” Donghyuck didn’t hear the last word. A kid in the water had screamed playfully in the distance.
“Your hobbies,” Mark repeated smiling dumbly, “What are they?”
“Oh, well,” Donghyuck started, “I, uh, like music a lot. Music from the ‘80s specifically,”
Mark hummed in response and said, “Yeah? Me too. I love music—all kinds,” Donghyuck’s hand was still covering his eyes so that he could see, so Mark scooted over to block the sun with his head. Donghyuck put his hand down and mumbled a “thanks.”
Mark hugged his legs tighter, “What else?”
Donghyuck thought for a moment until he remembered the obvious answer, “Fashion. I like fashion,” Mark's face looked like it was glowing with the sun behind it—like he was an angel sent down from the heavens, “And coloring my hair. I do that a lot,”
Mark giggled and said, “Me too!” He hit Donghyuck’s leg lightly, “I dyed my hair yesterday,”
“What the fuck? I dyed my hair yesterday, too. That’s crazy—we’re, like, the same person,” Donghyuck was laughing now too.
Mark asked jokingly, “What’s your last name?”
Weird question, Donghyuck thought, but he answered anyway, “Lee,” Their smiles matched like puzzle pieces.
“No fucking way!” Mark semi-screamed. He was laughing through every word now. Like a kid playing with their siblings in the lake.
Donghyuck audibly gasped, “Don’t tell me—”
“I’m Mark Lee and we’re the same fucking person,” They were both bent over at the waist, out of breath from laughter. It reminded Donghyuck of how hard he used to laugh when he hung out with his friends in high school. When everyone was still around.
Donghyuck punched Mark’s leg back, though harder than he was hit, “You’re fucking joking. We have the same last name?”
Donghyuck shook his head in disbelief, still laughing. Mark, however, was losing it—his entire body shaking instead of just his head.
Once they had calmed down—which took Mark a while, they sat for a minute in silence. It was always comfortable silence. They listened to the children playing and splashing in the lake. They watched couples skip rocks together on the shore. It was serene if you really focused on it. From afar, all of the hustle and bustle just seemed obnoxious, but from here, it was so human. Maybe it was Mark’s presence that made Donghyuck appreciate the people more.
Mark turned to look at him again when he heard Donghyuck breathe before speaking. He asked, just wanting to make conversation again, “What color did you dye your hair from?”
Mark stretched out his legs to mimic Donghyuck’s, “It was, like, a pinkish-blonde color. It was kind of faded from what I originally dyed it as, and my hair is naturally black, so I changed it back,”
Donghyuck stopped breathing as the gears started turning in his mind. Holy shit.
Mark could hear Donghyuck’s silence, “What?”
Donghyuck hesitated before saying, “Would—would you describe the color as peach-colored?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Why?”
“Mark Lee, I think—,”
“What? I’m scared,” Mark’s eyes were wide again and laughter was building in his voice. Donghyuck could hear it.
Donghyuck sat up on his knees and faced Mark completely. “Mark Lee, I think you’re my blind date,”
He watched Mark’s expression as he started to figure it out. A look of realization formed on his face as he put the pieces together. A puzzle that, when put together, gives you a picture of a bottle of bleach and Manic Panic hair dye. Donghyuck studied Mark’s cheekbones—they were nice—and his nose and his eyes. He would look good with peach hair; Donghyuck was sorry to have missed it.
“Oh, my God!” Mark laughed again—louder than before. He never stopped laughing, “What? Are you sure?” They were both delirious.
“I don’t know! It’s just—Jeno said my date would have peach-blonde hair and nice cheekbones and—”
Mark made a noise that reminded Donghyuck of a keyboard smash, “Holy shit! This is fucking—“ Mark tugged his hair with his hands from the scalp, “My friend Jeno sent me on this date, too! You’re the lonely and handsome friend in need of a boyfriend?!”
“Yes!” This couldn’t be happening, “I’m that! Exactly! What the flying fuck—we’re so stupid! How could we not have known?”
Mark was on the ground completely now, on his back rolling in the grass, laughing his ass off. He’s going to get bug bites, Donghyuck thought. After a long minute of hysteria from both of them, Mark sighed and sunk into the ground further. Donghyuck rolled over to lie next to him.
“I can’t believe…”
“I know…”
“We both thought…”
“I know…”
They lay like that for a while, going over in their minds what the past hour held and how oblivious they both were. Thinking back, it was so obvious. Two college-aged boys in the same time and place, both looking for dates. Both looking for male dates. Mark chuckled in the odd moments when they weren’t talking, making Donghyuck laugh too. It was a combination of the situation and Mark’s actual laugh that made everything funny.
They talked for the next hour about anything they could think of. High school, college, PetSmart (Mark worked at Whole Foods), their mutual friends, Michael Jackson shrines, family. They talked under the lakeside tree, now ignoring the tourists completely until they didn’t have anything else to talk about.
They had been there for a couple of hours when Donghyuck checked the time on his phone next. Time flies when you’re talking to a cute boy who just happens to be friends with all of your friends even though you’ve never seen him before. Apparently, they went to the same middle school, but Mark switched schools in the 9th grade. When they decided that they both had better go home, they exchanged numbers.
Mark asked, looking up at the other boy from underneath his eyelashes, “Will I see you again?” He never really got up from the ground.
Donghyuck chuckled, adding dumb emojis to Mark’s contact name, “Definitely,”
“Will you still have red hair? I like it red,”
“Take me on another date and you’ll find out,”
Mark laughed at that—like he had been doing for the entire time they spent together. Donghyuck walked him to his car because it was closer than his own. They made plans to meet up again that Friday as they walked on the sidewalk together. It was still glittering in the sun and too hot to walk on barefoot. As they walked, Donghyuck thought about his plans for the days before he saw Mark again. He was going to put blue streaks in his hair, just to spite him. They waved through car windows at Mark drove away, and Donghyuck started walking back to his own car.
As soon as he got home, he called Jeno. He was not going to believe the day Donghyuck had.