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Jongdae should have realized that sharing a bed with his significant other would not be as easy as it looked in the movies.
On screen, the couples lie peacefully together, usually wrapped in each other’s embrace, with the blankets shared equally and snoring toned down to low levels.
Sharing a bed with Chanyeol, he quickly realized, was almost as difficult as his East Asian history class he has this semester. (Just because he’s Korean doesn’t make the history any easier, okay?)
“Will you stop moving around so much?” the elder sighed, pulling the comforter over his head in a frustrated manner. It was already 1am, and he had an 8am biology lab he needed to be at least partly awake for.
“If you stop stealing all the damn covers,” Chanyeol grunted back, and with that comment, grabbed the comforter and yanked it out of Jongdae’s grasp.
“Hey!” the latter exclaimed, eyes shooting open, body instinctively curling into itself, “give that back…”
Chanyeol, however, paid him no heed as he turned away from his lover without as much as a word.
Jongdae bit his lip but didn’t bother to argue any further. He rested his head on his pillow and hugged his stuffed teddy bear (Lay) that Chanyeol had gotten him a couple of years ago.
After dating for nearly 2 years, the pair finally decided to get a small apartment together that was close to their university. Jongdae was a little nervous – this was new chapter in their relationship, and also a bridge into the scary world of adulthood. Jongdae also hoped that getting an apartment together would help to mend a few of the sore spots in their relationship; maybe it would help bring them back together a little more. Don’t get them wrong- Jongdae loved Chanyeol; that was certain. He had voiced it multiple times meaningfully albeit shyly. Chanyeol would never really reply verbally- he would just kiss Jongdae afterwards, and for a while, that was enough. However, after about a year of no replies, Jongdae began to get worried.
Was Chanyeol unhappy with him, and just stayed to appease him? Was Chanyeol actually seeing someone else secretly? Did Jongdae do something wrong?
It’s not like he expected Chanyeol to reply immediately. Jongdae was an outgoing, affectionate person. He was clingy and had no qualms with voicing and showing his love for Chanyeol. Chanyeol, despite his loud and rambunctious demeanor, was quiet and shy with love. He didn’t voice his feelings so much as he did acting upon them. He loved hugging Jongdae, tickling him and showering him with kisses, because as much as he loved to talk, he became quiet and tongue-tied when it came to affection. Unfortunately, that fact has caused a couple of arguments in the past few months, and those arguments have sparked other arguments that had nothing to do with the original problem, and Jongdae feared that their relationship would fall apart all too soon.
Just a few days after getting the apartment, he and Chanyeol decided that sharing a bed for the firs time might help alleviate their mutual irritation. They could cuddle and fall asleep in each other’s arms, right?
Jongdae couldn’t have been any more wrong, obviously.
It wasn’t until he blinked that Jongdae realized tears had been falling from his eyes and down his cheeks. Wiping them away with his hand, he rolled to the edge of the bed and gently got up. Chanyeol shifted a little, and Jongdae froze, hoping he didn’t wake his boyfriend up. However, when the taller merely mumbled something in his sleep, Jongdae let out a tiny breath and continued to stand and tiptoe across the bedroom.
Maybe we were too eager, he thought sadly as he opened the door, slipped out, and silently closed it.
“I guess the couch is comfortable,” he mumbled to himself sadly as he made his way to their cream-colored sofa. He grabbed a tiny Avengers blanket off of the ground and slowly laid down on the firm couch, hoping it wouldn’t hurt his back any more.
“Goodnight, Lay,” he whispered to his teddy bear, kissing its nose before gazing longingly at their bedroom and mumbling, “goodnight, Chanyeol.”
Jongdae’s eyes opened slowly, and almost immediately did he realize something was different.
I don’t remember the couch being so soft… Or warm… Where did this pillow come-
“Chanyeol?” he mumbled, voice scratchy from sleep. Rubbing his eyes gently, he finally looked around, and realized that he was back in their bed, comforter tucked tightly around him, pillow under his head, and Lay the teddy still in his arms.
“Chanyeol?” he repeated as he slowly untangled himself from the sheets.
“Ah, Jongdae, you’re awake.”
Jongdae’s ears perked at the sound of his favorite’s voice, and all of the harsh and negative feelings had suddenly washed out of his system. All he wanted was for Chanyeol to hug him and hold him.
Jongdae let out a small whimper and looked up at Chanyeol, who was smiling softly and walking towards him.
“You...you gave me quite a scare, babe,” his low voice said as he sat on the edge of the bed, “when I woke up, you were gone, and I...I couldn’t find you for a few minutes. I...I thought you had left.”
Jongdae, for once, couldn’t speak. His throat felt scratchy and clogged, and Chanyeol's quiet words tugged painfully at his heartstrings. So, he settled for shaking his head frantically. Chanyeol chuckled softly and reached out to gently push the hair out of Jongdae’s face. Their eyes met, and the taller smiled, which ultimately made Jongdae smile too.
“I found you sleeping on the couch,” Chanyeol continued, slipping into bed next to Jongdae, “you know the couch isn’t good for your back, babe...”
Jongdae looked down and pouted slightly. Of course he knew. Chanyeol sighed and gently pulled Jongdae so that their chests were touching, wrapping his arms around the smaller body.
“My heart clenched when I saw you, you know,” he continued, breathing very lightly, “you looked so...so cold and vulnerable...”
“It was because you stole the covers,” Jongdae mumbled back, chastising himself when he realized what he had said. Chanyeol didn’t get upset, though. He merely smiled sadly.
“Yeah," he replied guiltily, "god, I'm...such a piece of shit..."
"N-no you're not," Jongdae argued, frowning at his lover's harsh self-criticism. However, when Chanyeol replied, "that’s why I carried you to our room and tucked you in, nice and warm...”, he felt his face grow warmer and smile bigger.
“Thank you,” he whispered in reply, burying his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder, “I lo-I appreciate it.”
The taller smiled sweetly. “I love you too.”
It took a few seconds for Jongdae to process Chanyeol’s words. When he did, though, the latter leaned in and place a gentle kiss to Jongdae’s lips, silencing anything he was going to say.
The whole ordeal was emotional, for Jongdae at least. He was not expecting Chanyeol to say I love you, especially after last night’s events. He closed his eyes and melted into the taller's embrace, tears still managing to fall down his cheeks.
“Hey now,” Chanyeol said after leaning back seconds later, cupping his boyfriend’s face gently, “baby, don't cry...”
“You… you just said… I love you…” the elder replied in a whisper.
“Yeah, just...d-don’t expect to hear it so often.”
Jongdae looked up at Chanyeol with wide eyes, and the latter smiled sadly and kissed the tears away from Jongdae’s face.
“I know our relationship has been a bit bumpy lately,” he said, caressing his beauty’s face, “and I know you think I don’t love you… but that’s not true. The words… they’re just difficult for me to say.”
Eyes widening, Jongdae attempted to speak. “I-I’m sorry, i-if I had known-”
Chanyeol gave him a quick kiss to shut him up. And shut up, Jongdae did.
“It’s okay, babe. I...I should have told you earlier. But don’t think I don’t love you. I love talking-” Jongdae smiled, “-but even after all these years with you… you manage to make me all tongue-tied and speechless. You still take my breath away, do you know that?”
Jongdae was blushing as he buried his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder, mumbling meaningless insults and rambling about how disgustingly cheesy he was.
“I really do love you,” Chanyeol whispered as he began to move around, arranging themselves so that they were both lying down again, “like I said, it will be difficult to say… But I won’t forget to every so often. Just for you.”
Unable to speak, once again, Jongdae nodded. Chuckling quietly again, Chanyeol wrapped his arms around the smaller’s body before grabbing the comforter and dragging it over their bodies.
“How about we get some sleep. Together, hmm?”
Jongdae nodded and shut his eyes, smiling when he felt Chanyeol kiss his forehead.
“I love you.”