Chapter Text
Johanna didn’t settle down after the Rebellion was over. No, she kept moving. Staying in one place too long made her anxious. She had to keep going. Always keep going.
She would spend a few weeks in District 12, and then travel to District 4 to see Annie and the baby, though he wasn’t really a baby anymore, and then she’d spend a few weeks in a random district, though it was never 7, and then would start all over again, leaving and moving on when she grew antsy.
She had grown rather close to Katniss, Peeta and Annie as she understood different, important parts of each of them. She could care for and be gentle with Annie, she could be bitter and sarcastic with Katniss, she could joke with Peeta. And yet, she deeply understood their pain too. At this point, Johanna greeted them each with a hug when she saw them. Even Haymitch.
It wasn’t often that they were all together in one place, but the five year commemoration of the Rebellion ending had brought them all to the Capitol, to the same hotel. All of them were uncomfortable being there, but they had all agreed to do it on the condition that they would all be staying near each other and that Annie could bring little Finnley.
Despite the uneasiness that hung over all of them, Johanna seemed to be the only one who ventured into the floor’s lounge in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep. She had heard the whimpers and the panicked screams as her friends awoke from nightmares. She had heard tears and swearing and showers turn on at 4 am to wash off the cold sweat from reliving traumas. But she was the only one to leave her room.
She spent most of her time awake in the dimly lit room curled up on a couch that had its back to a window that overlooked the twinkling city below. From the way she sat, she could stare out the window, the noises from the bustling streets faint, but ever present.
It was no different from any other night that week. It began with Johanna awakening at 2:28 in the morning and heading to the empty lounge at 3:35, where she took her usual position on the couch and tried to rub the terrible pictures she had seen in her sleep from the inside of her eyelids.
“Johanna?”
The soft, sleepy voice from the other side of the room made her jump.
“Sorry,” the voice added after she jumped.
She turned to the owner of the voice, and there stood Gale Hawthorne wearing blue pajama pants and a T-shirt, barefoot, looking exhausted, confused, and nervous all at once.
“What are you doing up, Pretty Boy?”
He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Join the club,” Johanna replied dryly, looking back out the window.
Gale had joined the group of rebel survivors the previous day. He had been invited too, as he had been a soldier. He wasn’t needed for the remembrance of the Games, but he was for the remembrance of the War.
Katniss had regarded him with a polite nod, which he returned. He shook Peeta’s hand and spent the rest of the day in his room.
“I can’t imagine this is easy for you,” Gale said after a few moments of silence. It was unclear if he was referring to Johanna, or the Victors as a whole.
“It’s hell.” Was Johanna’s reply, not looking away from the window.
She swore that Finnley was the only reason anyone had their sanity. He was simply on an adventure with his mama and his bright-eyed, enthusiastic innocence was a welcoming relief from everything else going on. To say Effie adored the little boy was an understatement and between their infectious smiles and joy at simple things, smiles had come through that week.
“I’m… sorry,” Gale replied rather lamely.
“Nightmare?” Johanna asked, ignoring his apology.
“What?”
Johanna turned around again to face him. “I asked if you’re up because of a nightmare.”
“I guess you could say that. I think it’s this place…”
Johanna rolled her eyes a little. “It’s called a trigger, Hawthorne. Get used to it.”
He looked behind her, to the window, and heaved a sigh.
She sat up straight and scooted to one side, patting the cushion next to her as an offer for him to sit. He did.
Neither of them said anything for a very long time. Finally, Gale spoke.
“Where do live these days?” Gale questioned a little awkwardly at an attempt to change the subject.
Johanna chuckled. “Guess you could say I live on the train. I don’t stay anywhere long.”
“Oh… where do you go?” He asked.
“12 and 4 and random places. I leave when I need to. I come as I please.”
He nodded, seeming to understand this notion of flitting about, coming and going as necessary.
“What about you? Your family’s in 12 but you’re not.”
“I’ve got a house in 2.”
“That’s about as far away as you can get from her.”
Gale flinched. She touched a nerve.
“Kind of a shame,” Johanna mumbled.
Gale looked to the floor.
The silence that followed was thick.
Sometime later, the soft twittering of a bird beyond the window let Johanna know she should probably go back to her room and try to sleep a little more.
She rose from her seat and ran a hand through her tousled hair. “Ought to get back to bed, Pretty Boy. The day’s festivities start at 2.”
She stretched and headed back towards her room. Right before she turned the corner to head out of the lounge, Gale’s voice stopped her in her tracks.
“If you’re ever in 2, you should stop by.”
Johanna looked at him with what could almost be considered a smile on her face. “I might have to do that.”
And with that, Gale was left alone.