Chapter Text
And I will be strong
When Love is gone
I’ll carry on
- “You’ll Be Okay” A Great Big World
Molly stood by the window, hiding in the curtains, as she watched Mycroft. He stood there on the pavement for a moment before looking up to her window. She instinctively ducked down before realizing that he wouldn’t have noticed her even if she had remained standing there.
She resumed her position and saw that he was already disappearing into his black Jaguar. Molly watched the car speeding away into the London night in silence. There were no more words to say. She turned away from the window and returned to her bedroom, her heart screaming in pain.
A necessary evil.
That’s what the heartbreak is.
1 Week
Molly knew she looked like a wreck, even with the buffer time over the holidays. She could already imagine all the rumours people would be spreading around, and she felt a headache coming. She really hoped that she didn’t have to deal with all these. But it appears that there is no escaping it as her gaze met the concerned eyes of Meena.
“Molly! Are you fine?” A concerned Meena stopped her and looked at her from head to toe, “You look really terrible, got a cold?”
“Yes, I am fine, I … Yes,” She forced a smile, hoping for the conversation to end.
Meena frowned, “You don’t look like you are in any state to work, Molly! Why don’t you call your mysterious boyfriend to send you home? You clearly need a rest.”
Molly grew quiet and shifted her gaze away, her head bowed and hands clasped together, “We broke up.”
There was a growing silence and the atmosphere quickly became awkward.
Meena was lost for words, and didn’t know how to respond. Molly decided that this situation was too much to bear, looked up straight at Meena with an unnatural smile, “Meena, look, you…” She paused, “You don’t have to worry. I am fine. Don’t worry…” She paused, giving Meena a tight-lipped smile, “about all these.”
“Okay…” Meena said, “Anytime you need me, I am here.”
“Thank you.” Molly gave a small smile, this time with much more feelings and dabbed at the corner of her eyes with her sleeve while Meena pulled her into a hug and pat her back.
2 Weeks
“I’m sorry! Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” Molly frantically tried to wipe the coffee off the stranger’s jacket but she was just met with a chuckle.
“Haha! No harm done, don’t worry about it!” He stopped her hand and grinned at her, “My name’s Tom, nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand and Molly, taken by surprise, just took his hand and shook it, a little stunned.
“Molly.” She spoke, then nervously tucked her fringe behind her ear, “Sorry about that.” She pointed to the wet patch on his jacket. “No worries.” He smiled again, a little bashfully this time, and scratched his head with his hand, “I was wondering, do you think we can meet for lunch sometime?”
He looked at her, eyes wide with anticipation.
“Yes.” Molly was a little surprised at the sudden invitation, but agreed with a small smile. She felt her smile fall apart a little when she recalled the first time Mycroft asked her out for dinner.
1 Month
“Molly, I think I like you.”
Molly blinked, “What?” Obviously not expecting what just sounded like a confession from Tom. “Sorry?” She blinked again.
Tom blushed, scratching the tip of his nose. “I like you, Molly. I don’t know how to explain to you, but I felt an instant connection the first time we met. I don’t usually just …” He gestured with his hands, “Ask girls out the first time I meet them.” Tom looked straight at Molly, his eyes serious and face tense, “You are special to me. And I hope I can be a special someone to you.”
Molly set her cutleries down on the table, her fingers nervously entwined together.
“Tom.” She begun, bowing her head down. “You have been a good friend, an interesting person to talk to, but,” She looked up at him now with a frown on her face, “Don’t you think it’s too sudden? I mean, I only know you for barely half a month. Sure, we have been on a couple of dates and you make me smile. But, isn’t it too soon?”
“Molly-”
“No, Tom, let me finish. I just ended a relationship, I am still drowning in the memories. I am not ready now, and what if I will never be ready?” Molly’s voice softer now, “Are you going to keep waiting? Will you?”
Tom reached over the table to hold her hands, feeling them tremble beneath his warm, large palms
His voice was soothing, warm and full of love as he read out the poem, all the while not taking his eyes off Molly.
“Looking up at the stars, I know quite well,
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least,
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us, we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am,
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.”
Tom held her hands, tightening his hold a little as he looked at her with a tender look.
“I know that you don’t like me the way I do, I know that you probably need more time to get over him.”
He paused, taking in a deep breath and continued more confidently.
“What I want you to know is that, if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. You don’t have to give me an answer, we can still continue to see each other as friends or anything. If you feel like you are drowning in his memories, think of me, I mean,” Tom scratched the tip of his nose again, “I mean, think of anything that makes you less miserable and … I hope I am one of them.”
Molly sighed, withdrawing her hands from his.
“I need time to think about this.” She looked at him, with her jaws slightly clenched. “I used to think just being able to be a part of someone’s life is enough. I was naïve, Tom.” Molly shook her head, “It will never be enough.”
She got up and left.
“Molly !” He shouted behind her. Molly stopped but she didn’t look back.
“I want you to know that I still want to be your friend even if you don’t want to be romantically involved. You are a charming, intelligent and strong woman and I want to continue knowing you.”
Molly simply nodded and left, her hand on her chest, trying hard not to cry as the words rang in her mind. “I want to continue knowing you, to continue to be amazed by how unpredictable you are and every aspect of you.”
The same words were spoken, but no longer by the same man.
Molly thought of the words Tom said to her yesterday afternoon as she stood by the window with Toby in her arms.
“What should I do?” She buried her face in Toby’s fur.
Her phone beeped. Molly turned her head, looking at the screen, feeling the familiar sense of dread wash over her when she realised that she had nothing to worry about anymore. That’s the past. She hides her face behind her hands, breathing deeply before looking at her phone.
“I’m here, whenever you need me. -Tom”
I’m sorry.
I’m here.
Molly looked at the message, deciding to ignore it. But before going to bed, she looked at it again, letting the warmth of the message wash all over her and soothe her.
“I’m here with you. -Molly” She replied. I’m here with you, in the present.
Molly knows that she is not over Mycroft, but then again, she might never be. She won’t know until she tries and take the leap of faith. She gripped her phone tightly and closed her eyes, hoping it’s the right decision.
On the other end, Tom smiled with a silly grin on his face as he buried his head in the duvet with unspoken joy that threatens to burst from his chest. He will make it right, and they will be okay.