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When Elias returned to the Kingdom of Acorn, he had expected to meet the baby brother—now a young man—whom he had left behind over a decade ago when their mother took the young Elias and fled the coming war. He certainly hadn't expected to meet a pretty girl with his brother's face. A sister.
"Are you—" An uncomfortable pause. He didn't dare finish that question. She was tall for a girl her age, with broad shoulders. He wondered if this girl was the very same sibling he had lost.
"Sally." Her voice was gentle, androgynous. "You know, Dad never even told me I had a brother..."
"No one told me I had a sister . Father has said nothing about you since I arrived."
Sally rolled her eyes and sighed. "He's fond of his secrets. He would have been just as happy to keep pretending I was still a boy. He'd rather deal with hurt feelings later if it means avoiding a hard conversation now, I guess."
Still a boy... The wayward prince felt those words hanging over his head like heavy knives. Some long buried feeling—one he could never quite bring himself to confront—stirred from its resting place in the back of his mind. And now it was standing in front of him, looking him right in the eye. Smiling.
Elias shuffled uncomfortably. "Sally... I'm feeling rather tired. Perhaps we might continue our conversation later? This has been a long day. For you as well, I suspect..."
And with that, he excused himself.
Elias spent the next few days avoiding his sister, but he couldn't avoid the things she had said, nor the feelings seeing her had unearthed. His thoughts were rusted nails and broken glass that cut him deeply. The ghosts of things that could have been came bubbling up to the surface and oozed from those wounds. They took form once again, and he hated himself for ever burying them.
He spent much of his time tending to royal obligations with his father. What precious time he had to himself was spent isolated in his old room, trapped inside his own head, iterating endlessly over this terrible fixation.
I'm just like her... But she embraces her truth while I hide and play pretend just like Father. Would that I had half the courage she has. I scarcely know who I am any more, and I've been too afraid to find out. How many years have I wasted now? How many more to come? I feel as if I might tear myself apart if I keep this up...
And for the first time in years, Elias cried. Alone in her old bed, with her old feelings, she cried until she was too exhausted to cry and finally drifted off to sleep.
Elias had spent that morning pacing the castle's halls trying to build up the courage to speak to Sally. The longer she waited, she knew, the harder it would be, and it had been far too long already. Now she stood outside her sister's door and she could hear muffled voices on the other side. Nicole. Perhaps I shouldn't interrupt.
She waited.
Finally, a lull in the conversation.
Loneliness prevailed. Elias pushed the door open and called out softly, "Sally? May I—?"
"Come in," came Sally's voice from inside. And then, "Nicole, could I have a moment alone with Elias?"
Elias slipped inside quietly, pulling the door shut behind her.
"Sally, the truth is, I could really use someone to talk to right now... I know I have been avoiding you ever since we first spoke, and I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. But there has been something on my mind these past few days and I feel like maybe you can help."
"Listen, Elias, I know things have been weird for you ever since you got here," Sally growled, "but this has been difficult for me too. All my life, I thought I was an only child, and then one day I learn I have an older brother, and Dad has chosen him to rule in my place. I don't know how I could possibly help."
" Brother. " Elias winced at the word. "That's precisely the problem! I don't want to be a brother or a prince and certainly not a king ! I just want to be—"
"What? Elias, I don't understand...?"
Elias had to sit down. When she turned to face Sally again, there were tears welling in her eyes. "Sally," her voice trembled, "I just want to be a girl, like you..."
Sally's eyes widened. She pulled her sister close and held onto her tightly. All the tension in her body had dissolved, leaving her vulnerable. In her elder sibling, she saw all the pain and fear her younger self had faced alone reflected back at her—but dear Elias, in her fear, had held onto that pain for so much longer.
Elias nestled into her younger sister's arms. For once in her life, she felt safe.
"I—I can't believe I've finally told someone," she whimpered, "When I saw you, all this old pain came creeping back in. I couldn't believe how confident and open you were. I couldn't bear it. I could hardly look at you without crying. I was so afraid..."
"Oh, Elias," Sally whispered, "If you want to be a girl, you can be a girl. Nobody can take that away from you, and I'll have your back if anyone tries."
"Sally... Thank you so much," Elias sobbed. The rush of emotion made her body ache. "I shudder to think what I might have done had I not met you. I promise to stand by your side as well."
"We'll stick together, then. I'd be proud to call you my older sister."