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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of bakugo cinematic universe
Stats:
Published:
2018-09-08
Completed:
2018-09-08
Words:
1,307
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
43
Kudos:
189
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22
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4,143

stunning shrek

Summary:

bakugou katsuki is a stunning, bald and hilarious swordsman from ur mum. His life is going nowhere until he meets shrek the cool guy, a muscular, porky man with a passion for fortnite.

bakugou takes an instant disliking to shrek and the spiteful and tactless ways he learnt during his years in England.

However, when a curtain tries to murder bakugou, shrek springs to the rescue. bakugou begins to notices that shrek is actually rather intelligent at heart.

But, the pressures of shrek's job as a police officer leave him blind to bakugou's affections and bakugou takes up minecraft to try an distract himself.

Finally, when deranged navigator, kirishima eijirou, threatens to come between them, shrek has to act fast. But will they ever find the robloxmazing love that they deserve?

Notes:

ok i got this beautiful prompt from here : https://www.plot-generator.org.uk/

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: jealously, love and murder

Chapter Text

bakugou was dancing the street oine day when he bumped into a muscular, round, green, beautiful ogre and he was like "fuck u you little bitch you got in my way i was listening to mine diamonds you avocado head"

shrek glared at bakuboy and was like "bitch tf u got in my way"

bakugou hated shrek instantly and knew theyd never get along so he used his shoe to kick shrek.

in retaliation shrek fuckin decked bakugou and bakugou was like "damn ur muscles are hot but i still h8 you fight me in minecraft nerd"

shrek gasped and a look of PURE hatred and anger crossed his face, "MINECRAFT?! who plays MINECRAFT fortnite is way BETTER"

suddenly a curtain comes out of a drain and tries to kill bakugou but shrek stands in front of him and he protects him.

bakugou tears up and gasps, "shrek?! why would you- we hate eachother-"

shrek didn't respond but then he charged towards the curtain and used his roblox hacks to kill it.

the curtain died

bakugou screamed at all the blood then called dominos to tlel them to get help so dominos were like "we have discounts on pizza hell ye" so bakugou fuckin decked them and called 911

soon the ambulance arrived and they were like "come on shrek ur gon die we need to help you"

but shrek said, "ONIONS HAVE L A Y E R S, ill be aight bro" then he passed out

shrek was taken to the hospital and bakugou never saw him again but he knew he was in love, he loved shrek so much he would do anything for his lil bby avocado luv mwah <3

until......................

 

next tuesday bakugou was dancing with his sword bc hes a rad swordsman and he saw shrek again and he was like "hi babe"

but shrek ignored him because he was investigating a dead body and bakugou started to cry, "fuck you i never loved you anyway" and he ran away to go play minecraft on his xbox with his bff peppa.

suddenly kirishima exists and he is sad because shrek isnt manly and plus he has the gay for bakugou so he needs to stop their relationship from progressing.

while bakugou is playing minecraft kirishima goes and kidnaps shrek and takes him to his secret evil lair and makes him watch 9000000000000000000000 hours of twilight so he can truly understand love and why he shouldnt be with bakugou.

meanwhile bakugou notices his love has disappears bc peppa told him, she found out from her gf ellie elephant who works with shrek. bakugou cried and cried all night until theres a knock at his door so he gets up and answers it and to his surprise its kirishima.

"hi bakugou i got rid of shrek so we can finally be together" kirishima says and smiles, blushing a little, he then hands bakugou a bouquet of roses which bakugou detroit smashes out of his hand

"kiri you little FUCK" bakugou started 2 cry and kriishimas eyes widened, "no whats wrong my love"

"kirishima i loveds shrek why did you do this to me"

then suddenly curtain runs in and he fuckin decks kirishima, curtain then hairflips and says, "you wont get in the way of my ship shitfuck"

bakugous eyes widen, "curtain what are you-"

curtain smiled warmly at bakugou and took his hand comfortingly, "ive realised my mistakes, now come we must rescue your furture bf"

tears streamed down bakugous face and he nodded vigorously, "we have 2 hurry who knows what he did!!!!!!!!!!!"

they ran and ran and ran and ran and ran then they found shrek in peppas basement and bakugous eyes widen as he sees peppa force feeding his bf onions while his bf was crying,

 

"PEPPA HOW COULD YOU I THOT WE WERE FRIENDS"

peppa smirked maliciously, and giggled, "bakugou, bakugou, bakugou"

"we were never friends i was just using you so that i could learn more about the enemy, the truth is im in love with kirishima and i would do anything for him, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness."

bakugous eyes widened, while peppa and bakugou were distracted curtain ran over to shrek and untied him, shrek fell to his knees and sobbed into curtains chest.

bakugous eyes widened again when he realised something and his lips curled into a cold unforgiving smirk, "peppa, hun, kirishima is DEAD."

peppa gasped and the onions clattered to the ground, "you..." her face contorted into one of pure rage.

"also werent you dating ellie elephant u fuckin two timer die bitch" bakugou said as he charged at her and using his minecraft hacks he fucfking destroyed her.

peppa died there.

bakugou turned to face curtain and shrek and to his surprise they were in eachothers embrace and bakugou walked over, "back it up now, shreks mine"

shrek turned to look at bakugou, "babe... im sorry but ive come to realise something..."

bakugous stomach dropped.

"i never loved you in the first place, after curtain died i projected my feelings for him onto you because i was grief stricken and i couldn't cope but now that i've realised curtain is still alive i..."

bakugou cried and cried and cried, curtain and shrek laughed at how pitiful he was and walked out and got married and lived happily ever after and had 47 kids the end

Chapter 2: true love

Notes:

ok so after rereading the story after publishing i had this idea and im so fucking ashamed of myself

Chapter Text

while bakubaby was sobbing on the floor like a BABY somebody walked in and stared down at him...

bakugou looked up and saw it was.....................

 

 

 

 

ellie elephant and he gasped, "ellie?!" ellie smiled sadly at him, "i heard it all. i can't believe peppa would-" she looked away, a distant look in her dark eyes.

"but katsuki... im so sorry." she dropped to her knees and wrapped her trunk around his quivering form.

bakugou let it all out, he sobbed until his throat got hoarse, gripping ellie's back so hard that it was beginning to hurt but ellie didn't mind.

when bakugous tears finally came to a stop they sat their in silence, embracing eachother on the cold floor of peppas basement.

ellie pursed her lips before moving away to look at bakugou in the eyes

bakugous heart almost beat out of his chest as his entire face flushed red under the gaze of ellie. almost as if time itself had stopped, bakugou had found himself unable to move. then ellies eyes fluttered closed and she moved closer and closer and closer until their lips were touching.

bakugou didn't think his face could get hotter or redder but it did

he just sat their like a flustered idiot until ellie pulled away and smiled at him, a warm smile unlike the fake ones shrek had given him.

the elephant took his hand and brought him to his feet but he stumbled and would've fell if it wasn't for her catching him.

then, once bakugou had gotten to his feet ellie took his hand again and with the two holding hands, they walked out of peppas basement and in doing so, left it all behind.

the murder, the pain, the betrayal...

all of it.

their road to recovery after that sure wasn't going to be easy but bakugou knew one thing, they had each other, so it would be okay. nothing would go wrong as long as the two were together.

for the first time in his life, bakugou was really experiencing love. he realised what he had with shrek was only puppy love and wasn't that deep.

what he had with ellie made him feel like he was flying, it was impossible to be sad with her around.

as they walked down the same street bakugou had met shrek on, with their hands clasped, bakugou let a grin makes its way onto his face.

 

Notes:

im so fucking sorry

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