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It was close to three in the morning and Katsuki was standing on his balcony. His own room back home had one as well, but it hadn’t been until last year of middle school that he’d really used it.
There was just something relaxing about standing so many feet above the ground in almost total darkness. The moon and stars could barely be seen so it really did feel like Katsuki was all alone in the world, even though he was now sharing a building with nineteen more people and there were a few hundred more, if not a thousand, in the nearby buildings.
Katsuki sighed and lowered his arms from the elbow down onto the handrail, dropping his forehead onto the back of his hands. Usually he wouldn’t drop his guard like this, but he was all alone and it was dark.
Fucking nightmares.
They were just… So freaking stupid. Katsuki was no longer in the villain den. In fact, what had happened during his kidnapped time was barely worth an article in the newspaper, much less to be considered something like a traumatic event.
Yeah, those creeps were all villains, but they hadn’t actually fucking touched him. Hell, they’d fed him and let him use the bathroom – which he’d had to do sitting down because they never took off those stupid things off his hands – and he knew that it had all been part of the plan to make him join their side, it wasn’t like they’d suddenly grown hearts, but it also wasn’t like they’d tortured him or some shit like that.
Yet, there had been times… That freak with the hand on his face had put one hand on his cheek several times, one finger always pointing up, but with the threat of it lowering really fucking close. Katsuki had never seen his quirk up close, but he knew what would happen.
And now he dreamed about it. Being disintegrated. Or sometimes it was being burnt to a crisp while the scarred guy laughed at him. Or sometimes they simply never let him out of that orb and he was just trapped there. Forever.
Katsuki felt his breath quickening and forced himself to slow it down. They’d all moved into the dorms three days before and for three nights in a row he’d been having nightmares.
Usually Katsuki either forced himself to go back to sleep or he just gave up and went to do something else, like some school work, even though by now he was pretty sure he was just about ready to be moved into the second-year class.
But this night… Nightmares were the fucking worse and if Katsuki never had one ever again, it would be too fucking soon.
“Bakugou,” Katsuki heard from his right and immediately straightened up and sent an explosion in that direction.
The explosion hadn’t been that strong – Katsuki hadn’t so much thought about power as much as he had “get me enough time to plan something else” – so he hoped no one would wake up as he remembered that he was in the dorms and he’d probably just tried to blast one of his new housemates’ face off.
The balcony next door belonged to Kirishima but once the smoke dissipated, Katsuki saw that it was empty. Instead, it was the balcony next to that one that had someone slowly getting up from a crouch, probably having gone in that position to escape the explosion.
With the moon and stars hidden away and the only light coming from some street lamps down below that someone in the school had found necessary to have, Katsuki could just about see more arms than usual to realize who it was.
There really wasn’t enough light for Katsuki to see his face with any detail, but he realized with surprise that it was the first time ever that he was seeing Shouji without his mask.
“What the fuck do you want?” Katsuki asked, loud enough that his voice would carry to Octopus guy, but not enough to carry around the whole building. Despite his angry demand, Katsuki lowered his hand.
“I heard you outside,” Shouji said and his voice sounded… Normal. Like this was a perfectly normal time of the night to be up and about and like Katsuki was someone he usually engaged with.
“Yeah, so fucking what? Is there a rule that I can’t be on my own fucking balcony when I damn well please?” Katsuki clenched his fists, feeling really damn close to sending off another explosion, though it wasn’t so much the fact that Octopus guy was getting all up in his business, as much as Katsuki simply feeling like some violence would be good for his soul right now.
It was either that or actually trying to deal with his nightmares in a healthy way and Katsuki just wasn’t up for that.
There was a short pause, “I just wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong.”
Katsuki clenched his jaw. “I’m fine.”
Shouji didn’t respond to that, instead turning away from Katsuki and to the front, putting his hands on the handrail.
“I said I’m fine, so you can go back inside,” Katsuki said in an angry tone and Shouji didn’t even have the decency to look back as he replied.
“As you just said, there’s no rule against being out here. It’s nice.”
Katsuki clenched his jaw again and he remembered his dentist telling him that it was a terrible habit and almost biting his finger off, but he didn’t give a fuck. He turned to the sky and felt really close to saying, “no, it fucking isn’t” because it was just a grey and foggy night.
But he just kept quiet. Whatever; if Octopus guy thought this was a nice way to spend some time and feel tired the next day, then it was his own damn fault.
.
The next day was spent in a mostly pleasant way. Katsuki was quite surprised to wake up in the morning, barely three hours after he’d gone to bed the second time, to find himself well rested. The class trained during most of the day and Shouji didn’t go out of his way to talk to him and from what Katsuki could see, didn’t tell anyone about their… rendezvous either.
Katsuki should have just felt like that was the way it was supposed to be; like the guy had no reason to be blabbering about what Katsuki got up to outside class just because he could have more than one mouth at once, but instead he also felt somehow… Happy, that they shared a secret.
It was fucking dumb. The only reason Katsuki knew his name or any of the others’ was because Kirishima hadn’t rested until he’d learnt them all since they were now living together.
And it wasn’t like Katsuki needed a friend. Kirishima was more than enough and he unfortunately came with a whole “squad”.
But they were different. While Katsuki was sure that they would all have been more than willing to help him work through his nightmares, he was unwilling to show any type of weakness around them. It really made no sense for him to feel any differently towards Octopus guy, and yet he couldn’t pretend that his presence hadn’t probably helped in him having an undisturbed sleep for the rest of the night. Like subconsciously Katsuki had known that he was around.
Stupid.
Yet, that didn’t stop Katsuki from walking onto the balcony that night, this time a bit earlier than the night before, just after two in the morning.
His heart had barely slowed down when the door to the balcony one room over opened and Shouji left his room again.
Katsuki sent him a sideways glance but didn’t move from where he was squeezing the handrail with both hands.
This time he had dreamed of the slug villain. The one that he had escaped over a fucking year before. Disgusting.
Weak, a voice inside himself said and the worst part was that he didn’t recognize anyone’s voice but his own.
“Bakugou,” Shouji called his name and Katsuki forced himself to start taking longer breaths and to let go of the handrail. If he’d had a strengthening quirk it would have broken by now, he was sure.
Once Katsuki’s breathing had mostly returned to normal, he turned to Shouji. It was about just as dark as the night before so all he saw was his outline. There really was no reason for him to feel comforted by it.
He didn’t say anything.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Shouji asked and Katsuki had to admit that it took some courage to ask him that point blank.
Katsuki didn’t answer right away. No, he didn’t want to fucking talk, yet there was something about the late – or early, depending on how you looked at it – hour that made it feel… ethereal. He didn’t want to ruin it by yelling his lungs out.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he forced out and it took a few seconds, but Shouji eventually nodded.
They were silent after that and Katsuki hated himself for how afraid he was that Shouji was just going to go back to his room, now that Katsuki had declined his offer.
Yet, Shouji just leaned both elbows on the handrail and dropped his chin onto his hands.
“Training was hard today,” he said and it sounded forced.
He was trying to make conversation and Katsuki wanted to feel mad about it; he didn’t want any fucking patronization. But he also realized that there was no real incentive for Shouji to try and talk to him and so Katsuki sighed and tried to rid himself of some of the tension that seemed to have settled on his whole body since… well, for a damn long time.
“Yeah,” he settled on and continued to stare at Shouji, “what are you working on?”
Shouji turned to him and Katsuki wondered if he regretted not putting his mask on, even though Katsuki really couldn’t see any special feature on his face. Why did he always have that stupid mask on, anyway?
Katsuki forced himself back to the conversation, as Shouji answered, “I’m trying to duplicate my arms as much as possible.”
“Uh?” Katsuki made a questioning sound. It wasn’t like he’d been paying attention to anyone else’s training, though Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero and Ashido loved showing off at the end of the day.
It didn’t take long for an explanation to reach him, though it wasn’t one with words. As Katsuki stared, Shouji turned one of his tentacles into an extra arm and then that arm into a new one until he had enough that a hand was in front of Katsuki’s face.
It was just hanging there and Katsuki couldn’t help himself. He poked it with a finger.
The hand turned into a mouth, “I felt that.”
“Like you’d feel if it was your normal hand?” Katsuki asked and couldn’t help the wonder in his tone. Stupid Deku wasn’t the only one that had an interest in quirks, after all.
Shouji didn’t answer right away and Katsuki frowned, looking up from the tentacle that had turned back into a hand, to his face, though this far away he couldn’t tell what expression was on Shouji’s face.
“They all feel like a normal part of myself,” Shouji finally answered and his tone was subdued. Katsuki kept the frown on his face. He felt like he was missing something.
“Didn’t one of your hands get cut off during the villain attack?” He asked and forced himself to absolutely give no reaction at his own words. What sort of hero would he be if he couldn’t mention an event without hyperventilating or some shit like that?
From the corner of his eyes Katsuki saw the hand turn back into a mouth and it was from there that the response came. Yet, Katsuki didn’t turn his eyes away from Shouji’s face. “Yes. It hurt but since it was a duplicate, once I made the rest of the arm disappear, I was fine.”
“Tokoyami didn’t feel that way,” Katsuki commented and the arm retreated. He couldn’t exactly blame Shouji; now he was just being an asshole.
“No one likes seeing their friends getting hurt,” was what Shouji said and Katsuki didn’t respond to that.
No, no one did, and he remembered Kirishima calling his name and the immense relief that had overcome him at that. It had barely been a conscious decision, jumping up and grabbing his hand. Katsuki had just known that if Kirishima was there, then it was all going to be all right.
It must have felt pretty awful for Shouji to see his friend lose control of his quirk and not being able to do anything about it. He remembered one of Shouji’s tentacles turning into a mouth and shrieking at them about Tokoyami.
Katsuki almost apologized for bringing it up, but instead he just turned to look up at the sky.
He knew most people felt like they were missing something; almost never getting to see the stars. But Katsuki quite liked the dark sky. Like there was a layer of mist separating this world from something else.
Shouji didn’t speak for the rest of the time they spent up there, yet Katsuki never doubted that he stood there until Katsuki went back to his room.
.
It became routine after that. Every night at around two or three in the morning – once almost at five – Katsuki would go stand outside in his balcony and just a few moments later Shouji would join him. It really didn’t take a genius to realize that it wasn’t a coincidence that led to the both of them being awake at the same time, but a conscious decision made on Shouji’s part to be attentive to Katsuki going outside.
Katsuki couldn’t really find it in himself to care if he heard his nightmares or not.
And now it was the night he had won a fight against Deku and he felt like he had lost more than he could possibly put into words.
Katsuki hadn’t even bothered getting into bed that night. He knew it would be a killer when he had to spend the next day cleaning the crap their classmates had gotten up to in the past week, but he just couldn’t be bothered.
It was four in the fucking morning and Katsuki was… Angry. Frustrated.
Sad.
Shouji’s balcony door opened and Katsuki didn’t even bother to turn around to him as he very clearly said, “I’m not in the mood.”
His only response was silence but he didn’t hear Shouji go back outside.
“Then may I share my own troubles?”
Katsuki frowned and turned to Shouji and felt glad that with the darkness around them, Shouji wouldn’t be able to see how he was all bruised and bandaged up.
They had never really discussed anything of importance. They’d talked about the hero training and that had been… it.
Yet, Shouji didn’t continue, honestly waiting on Katsuki’s reply. Like he wouldn’t simply unload on him, not if he didn’t want to.
And Katsuki did want him to. Not simply because it would be a good distraction for this whole fucking day, but because he wanted to be there for Shouji, just like he’d been there for him for almost two weeks, never asking for anything in exchange, never expecting anything.
“Okay,” Katsuki said and for the first time, felt the urge to jump to Kirishima’s balcony and then to Shouji’s, just so they could be closer. But Shouji could actually fly and hadn’t come to him so either he preferred the distance, or he wasn’t sure how Katsuki would take it.
For tonight, they would do things Shouji’s way.
Shouji didn’t say anything right away. Katsuki kept staring, trying to figure out exactly what it was that was bothering him because he’d never seen a distressed Shouji outside of running away from Dark Shadow and he had passed the exam for the provisional hero certificate so what could possibly be the problem?
“Did you know there’s a list for the heroes who look like villains?” Shouji asked and it felt a bit like a random question but Katsuki knew that it wasn’t.
“Yeah,” he answered because that list had been around for several years, almost as long as the hero business had become a big thing.
“Do you know who’s in it?”
This time Katsuki didn’t answer right away, “not all of them.”
Shouji was looking at him. “They all have quirks that changed their appearance to something other than the regular human look.”
“Oh,” Katsuki said and then frowned, “like Gang Orca.”
“Yeah,” Shouji replied and for the first time since they’d known each other, Katsuki got to hear him sound sad. “You know what people were talking about at the end of the exam, before they gave out the results?” Shouji looked away, putting both hands on the handrail and leaning slightly forward. “How scary he was and how was the public supposed to trust someone that looked like that and someone said they actually wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he’s actually a villain.”
There was a pause, “just because he looks different” and now Shouji didn’t just sound sad but defeated as well.
Fuck it, Katsuki thought and exploded his hands, forcing himself in the air and towards Shouji. Since his quirk wasn’t actually meant to make him fly, not accurately or for long periods of time, anyway, it was more luck than anything that led him to land right in front of Shouji, who had straightened up and was now staring at him, and not to just splatter downstairs.
“They’re fucking idiots,” Katsuki said and Shouji stared.
“What happened to your face?”
“What happened to yours?” Katsuki immediately countered and came really damn close to hitting himself because what the actual fuck was wrong with him. Shouji didn’t have his face covered and with the way they were standing so close, the scars around his mouth were unmistakable.
Shouji’s face immediately closed down.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. There’s nothing wrong with your face. Or your arms!” Katsuki was pretty sure he’d never felt like this before. Embarrassed but also wanting to comfort. Weird fucking feelings.
Shouji blinked a couple times but relaxed and Katsuki felt relief at that.
“Well, once I-“
“You don’t actually have to tell me. I was being a dick.”
“It’s okay,” Shouji said, “I got sick as a kid. It left me with some permanent scars. I have them in other parts of my body,” he moved his arms about and Katsuki quickly glanced at them, though he only noticed one or two scars. “These are the most obvious ones, however.”
Katsuki blinked. Shouji had said it in a perfectly normal tone, like it hadn’t been a scarring event – physically or otherwise –, yet… “Why the mask?”
At that, Shouji tensed and Katsuki felt its disappearance keenly. Like it fucking mattered how Shouji felt around him.
You just flew to comfort him. Grow some balls.
Katsuki was brought back to reality by Shouji’s answer, “the kids at my school were scared. And strangers kept staring.”
Katsuki frowned. Shouji was no longer as tense but Katsuki could tell he was feeling uncomfortable.
“This way was just easier.”
Katsuki opened his mouth because what the actual fuck.
“Don’t,” Shouji said and he didn’t sound defeated anymore. He was back to sounding like his normal self, but also challenging. “Our experiences are not the same and I won’t be judged on my choices.”
Katsuki closed his mouth. He felt… embarrassed.
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” the words sounded forced because Katsuki wasn’t in any way used to apologizing but Shouji clearly already had enough people trying to make him feel bad to add himself to that list.
“What happened to you?” Shouji asked, changing the subject and Katsuki would take back all the uncomfortableness from having to apology because that would beat having to remember the night’s events.
“I got into a fight,” he gave a short answer.
Shouji blinked, “that was stupid.”
Katsuki couldn’t help himself; he snorted. “Yeah. I got four days of detention.”
Shouji blinked again, “I don’t know if that should feel like a heavy punishment or not enough.”
Katsuki snorted again but this time it was lacking the previous amusement. “Yeah, me neither.”
They were silent for a little while longer.
“Don’t you want to know who I fought?”
“I have a feeling I’ll know in the morning. But you can tell me, if you want.”
Katsuki stared at him for a few seconds and several feet away from each other, he’d never realized just how big the size difference between the two of them was.
“Tomorrow you’ll know.”
Shouji nodded and Katsuki was pretty sure that this was when he was supposed to go back to his own balcony; just because he didn’t have to be in class in the morning didn’t mean that was the case for Shouji.
“Do you want to sleep here?”
Katsuki frowned, “outside?”
Shouji gave a quick smile and Katsuki’s breath stopped just for a second. He felt half murderous for the dickheads that had ever made Shouji feel uncomfortable with his own appearance, and half… Like he’d just seen something precious.
“No, in my bed.”
Katsuki blinked and sincerely hoped that the darkness around them would be enough to hide the blush that had suddenly appeared on his cheeks.
“I feel like you don’t want to be alone. I don’t either,” Shouji said and even though he spoke with perfect confidence, the blush on his cheeks was easy to spot.
Katsuki didn’t know how to feel about Shouji, who he considered as someone pretty damn strong, both because of his quirk as well as his personality, just telling his weakness to anyone. But then again, he wasn’t just anyone.
“Okay,” Katsuki said in a quiet tone and Shouji turned and walked inside his room. Katsuki did as well and closed the door behind him.
“I don’t usually close the curtains so if the sun doesn’t bother you, you don’t need to close them either.”
Katsuki nodded and followed Shouji going to his bed with his eyes. Then he looked around. Aside from the bed, a desk with some school material on it and a dresser, there was nothing to see.
“You’re a minimalist,” Katsuki stated in a tone that didn’t betray his feelings, because truth be told he didn’t know how to feel. This was just unexpected though if he really thought on it, probably not that much.
“I just don’t see the point in getting attached to things. Though I keep everything people give me.” Shouji got up again and picked up his backpack from where it had been put against the door, ready for him to pick it up as he left the room for classes.
He walked back to Katsuki and showed where it had a keychain hanging. The light coming from outside was barely enough for Katsuki to see his surroundings, so he had to put his face really close to the thing to realize that it was a cartoon version of an octopus. “My little brother gave it to me when I moved to the dorms.”
Shouji didn’t wait for a reply before lowering it and going to put the backpack back in its place.
Katsuki stared at his back because that had been… ridiculously cute. He could just imagine Shouji having a whole drawer of things that had no use but that had been given to him by friends and family.
Again, he felt like hitting everyone that had ever made Shouji feel anything but deserving of being considered a future hero.
Shouji went to the bed and laid on it, back to the wall and Katsuki got in as well.
Since it was on the floor, no mattress to speak of, he wasn’t confined to pressing close to Shouji, but they were both big boys, one more than the other, so it was impossible for Katsuki to at least not feel Shouji’s body heat.
It didn’t feel constraining, however. More like… comforting. And surprisingly familiar.
Katsuki turned so that he was facing Shouji.
“You don’t look scary to me.”
Shouji studied his face for some seconds before replying, “you don’t, either.”
And hell, maybe that wouldn’t have meant anything a few months before but what with the fact that he’d been actually kidnapped by villains because they thought he’d join their side because of his behavior, it really fucking did.
But Katsuki didn’t say that. He just closed his eyes and went to sleep.
.
The sun woke Katsuki up in the morning. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the wall in front of him. He frowned; his pillow felt different than usual. Then he realized it wasn’t just his head that was on top of something hard, but his whole body.
If he could have, Katsuki would have moved, but as it was, he was trapped. He had his head on top of Shouji’s chest, left ear pressed against it, left arm around his waist and left leg between the two of his. On his part, Shouji had both arms and by extent, four tentacles as well, around him so at least he hadn’t been the only one cuddling.
Cuddling. Absolutely not something Katsuki enjoyed or kind of missed ever since he’d told his parents he wasn’t a fucking kid anymore and to stop it.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have classes but Shouji had and he still hadn’t figured out just how many cameras were around the building, but he still didn’t doubt that Aizawa would find a way to find out if he was doing his punishment or not.
Katsuki kept still for a few more seconds before he decided enough was enough and started wriggling around, so that he could escape Shouji’s grip. It really was quite strong, though not enough to hurt.
“You’re awake,” Shouji’s voice made him freeze. He looked up and Katsuki couldn’t for the life of him remember the last time he’d been this close to someone. “Sorry,” Shouji said and let go of him. Katsuki immediately moved away so that he was still laying on the bed but no longer on top of Shouji.
Katsuki blinked at him. With the light from the sun he could see Shouji’s face even better than in the night. The scars were a pale white but the whole bottom part of his face contrasted with the top half. Katsuki wondered when the last time was that he’d actually been out in the sun with his face uncovered.
He decided he’d blame it on the early hour, but he couldn’t help himself from moving one hand up so that it was touching Shouji’s face, the lightest touch possible, feather like.
Shouji stared back and he really did have an incredible poker face.
Finally, Katsuki pulled his hand back and got up. He turned back to Shouji, who was still laying down.
“You have classes,” he said.
Shouji turned to look out of the balcony, “I can still stay in bed for another twenty minutes.”
Katsuki frowned, “do you not own a watch? Or a phone?”
Shouji turned back to him, “I do. But being able to tell the time from the sun’s position is a good skill to have.”
Katsuki didn’t know how to reply to that so he said nothing. But that wasn’t an option either; he’d just slept next to the guy and he was pretty sure this was the most uncomfortable he’d felt next to Shouji in all their short time of late night rendezvous.
Shouji didn’t help matters by just continuing to stare and Katsuki wondered if he was just leaving the ball in his court, if mentioning the twenty minutes was an offer saying that he could stay as well, or telling him to go so he could enjoy his bed by himself.
It was a fucking mess, that’s what it was. Second questioning himself because of some… some cuddling.
“I’m gonna go,” Katsuki said and had to force himself not to wince at the awkwardness in his tone. He felt like fucking Deku. No, fuck, thinking about that guy was not the right move, because then he thought back on the fight and All Might and it was just a subject better left untouched. Now and maybe forever.
“Okay,” Shouji said and Katsuki felt his eyes following him out of the room. Outside he sighed and passed a hand through his face. Then he quickly walked to his room because if Shouji could hear him from two doors down, there was no doubt he’d be able to hear right outside.
When he was in his own room, Katsuki went to check his phone and Shouji had been right. There was still time to sleep. Of course, Katsuki just changed into some sweatpants and a T-shirt and went straight for push-ups. Half because he had pent-up energy that was now rearing its head and half because he hadn’t forgotten his promise to Deku; he was going to beat him and for that he needed to up his training.
.
Katsuki hadn’t yet had a nightmare that night. On the other hand, he also hadn’t been able to fall asleep, so he hadn’t rested either. He felt a smidge of thankfulness for the house arrest because at least all he had to do the next morning was clean and not pay attention to classes.
The reason he hadn’t yet fallen asleep was because he couldn’t stop thinking about falling asleep in Shouji’s arms – literally. Waking up next to him had felt… right. But now that Katsuki had had time to think about it, especially in the light of day, he also couldn’t believe he had done that. Lowered his guard and let someone else… take care of him. Be his rock.
Katsuki didn’t need a rock. He was his own damn rock. Yeah, maybe Kirishima had gone past his personal barriers, but Katsuki had accepted it screaming and kicking and yes, he was bringing other people with him – Ashido called it the Bakusquad, Katsuki preferred “I’m losing my fucking mind” – but that didn’t mean that he was suddenly interested in making friends with the whole class or something.
You’ve been hanging out with him every night for close to two weeks. If you’re not friends, what are you?
Katsuki seriously hated his mental voice that always had to show him up. Damn hard to fight inside his own mind when every cell of his being wanted to be right.
He moved around so that he could pick up his cellphone and check the time. Close to two thirty in the morning. What a fucking joke.
Katsuki sighed and turned back to being on his back, eyes turned to the ceiling, though since unlike Shouji he closed his curtains every night, it wasn’t like there was anything to see up there.
There was a tiny knock. Katsuki sat up, frowning and trying to figure out who the hell was knocking. He turned to the door, expecting to hear it again but when the sound came, it arrived from his back. Katsuki turned to the balcony. Of course, he couldn’t see anything.
Anyway, there weren’t exactly many people that knew he was awake at this hour and would come knocking, were there?
Katsuki pushed the blankets away and got up, purposively keeping his mind empty of… Well, any and all thoughts that made him want to explode something.
As expected, Shouji was standing outside. Katsuki didn’t know what exactly made him do it, but he turned on the light on top of his bedside table before opening the door.
Shouji didn’t enter, just blinked at him. Katsuki frowned, irritated, though more because his stupid heart did a little jolt at seeing Shouji in front of him than because he was being interrupted as he tried and failed to find sleep.
“You fought Midoriya,” Shouji said and it was fucking ridiculous how good of a poker face he had. Katsuki had the hysterical thought of imagining him and Bird Head in a staring contest. …Clearly the lack of sleep was getting to him.
“Yeah, so?” Katsuki crossed his arms. Even though Shouji was standing outside, suddenly it felt like he had less space to breath and move.
Shouji didn’t answer right away. He blinked and seemed to study Katsuki, who felt like tiny ants were running all over his body. Suddenly he had too much pent up energy.
“I can’t sleep,” he interrupted whatever thought process Shouji was going through.
“Okay,” Shouji said but in a tilting tone, like he was offering to hear Katsuki, who didn’t reply right away. What he really wanted was to spar but he’d already gotten into a fight and even if this time neither ended up bruised and bandaged, he sincerely doubted Aizawa was feeling soft hearted towards him.
“Why are you always awake when I am?” Katsuki suddenly changed the subject, still feeling like he had too much energy inside his body.
Shouji blinked, “I can hear you,” he turned one of his tentacles into an ear, “I always sleep like this.”
Katsuki frowned, uncrossing his arms and letting them drop by his sides. He hadn’t noticed that in the morning. “Why?”
Shouji looked away, then back to Katsuki’s face, “I couldn’t sleep after the attack in USJ. I know the villains appeared out of nowhere, but I thought… Maybe if I had paid more attention I would have heard the air around them change and we would have had enough time to run.”
Katsuki opened his mouth but didn’t say anything and Shouji continued, “so I’ve been training myself to hear and see better. I don’t want to be caught by surprise again.”
He blinked and finally entered the room. Katsuki stood his ground.
“It isn’t perfect. I didn’t hear it when you and Tokoyami got taken.”
Katsuki blinked and Shouji continued, “I’m sorry about that.”
He blinked again, “you couldn’t have done fucking anything so stop beating yourself up about it.”
Then he frowned and crossed his arms, “is that why you kept coming to me? Because you felt… guilty?” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. For some reason Katsuki really didn’t want that to be true and that in itself made him feel angry; needing someone like that.
Shouji studied Katsuki’s face and he had a sudden memory of Aizawa doing the same to him and Deku; he still wasn’t sure sensei didn’t have a mind-reading quirk alongside the erasing one.
“No,” Shouji finally answered. “The only thing I can do now about your kidnapping is to improve my reflexes.”
“Then why did you get up every single night?” It was supposed to sound angry, accusing. Instead it came out barely above a whisper and soft.
Shouji took a step forward, forcing Katsuki to raise his neck even higher, “I wanted to help you.”
“Just because?” Katsuki blinked, still speaking in that soft tone and it felt like he was close to the precipice of something.
“Everyone is worthy of receiving kindness,” Shouji answered and his own tone was soft.
Katsuki had no idea how to even start to unwrap those words, though his first thought was “he’s too fucking good for this world”. Before he could actually say anything, Shouji lowered his head so that he was still taller, but not by so much and asked, “can I kiss you?”
Well, that was unexpected.
You’ve shared a bed and cuddled. Is it really?
Just this once, Katsuki was going to hand that one to his subconscious.
“Okay,” he answered and Katsuki had never in his life kissed someone, so he had no idea what to expect. Well, he knew that their lips would touch, as they were doing now, but how it was supposed to feel… Surprisingly soft. Shouji was barely putting any pressure, yet Katsuki’s stomach was still assaulted by butterflies, like this tiny weeny fucking gesture suddenly changed everything.
Katsuki took one step forward and pressed his lips harder against Shouji’s. It wasn’t so much like he was trying to be aggressive, just to tell him that he wasn’t a fucking doll. He wanted this to feel real, to leave a mark behind, and not feel like a dream in the morning.
Katsuki put both hands on Shouji’s hips and didn’t miss the way his muscles jumped at the contact. For his part, Shouji put one hand on Katsuki’s hip as well, but the other went to his cheek. He wasn’t even trying to use it to control the angle, just caressing the skin there.
It felt soft and Katsuki sighed against his lips. Shouji opened his mouth as well but Katsuki didn’t try and deepen the kiss, just continued with the open-mouthed ones. He couldn’t believe he was fucking thinking this, but he was going to have to google just what the fuck his tongue was supposed to do during kissing.
Shouji was the first to pull back, though he didn’t let go. Katsuki didn’t either. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such at peace with himself.
They blinked at each other.
“Do you want to go out on Saturday?” Shouji asked and from this close, Katsuki could see the red in his cheeks.
Let this thing between them see the sunlight? Yeah, Katsuki could do that.