Chapter Text
When Ranmaru returns to the apartment after wrapping up a meeting, it's hard to miss the way Ai's face lights up as soon as he walks into the room. He greets him with a smile, quickly extending his hand to pull Ranmaru close and plant a kiss on his cheek.
"Welcome back," he murmurs against his skin. "Looks like someone had an early morning."
Ranmaru huffs, snaking his free arm around Ai's waist to kiss him properly. Ai squirms, laughter escaping from his lips. The fact that Ai is more open to physical contact and not withholding his reactions leads Ranmaru to conclude they have the apartment to themselves at the moment. In front of their bandmates, they were limited to discreet displays of affection until they managed to escape behind closed doors.
Ranmaru had actually taken it a step further and turned it into a game of trying to make Ai come apart in public. He would tease him with his subtle flirting, touch him in ways to try and earn a reaction from him. But Ai was competitive and took to the challenge with eagerness, wanting to prove that he could hold himself together under Ranmaru's public ministrations. As it turned out, Ai was more self-controlled than he let on despite melting under Ranmaru's touch in private. Ai only looked a little too smug every time he failed to get the desired reaction out of him, but it also made Ranmaru smile, knowing he was the only one who had the pleasure of seeing Ai come apart beneath his fingertips.
"Got some news t' tell you," Ranmaru smiles, releasing their hands so that he can put both arms around Ai's waist. Ai puts his arms around Ranmaru's neck, leaning up to bump their foreheads together.
"I'm listening."
Shining Saotome had pulled some strings to give QUARTET NIGHT the opportunity to travel overseas and promote their new movie. After their last successful solo concert, lots of peoples' eyes were on them, including some big names in the international entertainment industry. He was never one to pass up a chance given to him, so he had arranged for a national tour around the United States to coincide with the tour that would be happening in Japan at the same time.
As Ranmaru relays all the information back to Ai, his chest wells up in excitement for him. He thinks it's an amazing opportunity, not only for them as a group to gain some international exposure, but also for Ranmaru to be able to represent QUARTET NIGHT on an international scale.
"You'll have to brush up on your English skills," Ai teases him playfully from where his head is pillowed on Ranmaru's shoulder.
"I haven't accepted the offer yet," Ranmaru replies, lazily stroking Ai's knuckles with his thumb.
"Why not?" Ai asks, surprised.
"I wanted to have some time to think about it," he explains, shifting Ai's head from his shoulder. He pouts, but complies and turns to face Ranmaru properly. "And I didn't want to come to a decision without consulting you first."
Ai tilts his head at him, blinking. Ranmaru sighs, taking both of Ai's hands in his and squeezing lightly.
"The tour goes for a month, Ai," he goes on to explain.
Ai blinks again, a choked sound escaping from his lips. Ranmaru going on the international tour would mean not seeing him for a whole month. A month of not being able to wish him goodnight, or greet him good morning. He wouldn't be around to indulge Ai with his soft touches, or his gentle kisses. Ai tamps down the dull ache forming in his chest and places his hands on Ranmaru's shoulders, nestling himself into his chest.
"Someone else from the group will also be going," Ranmaru murmurs. "Who knows? Maybe—"
"No," Ai shakes his head, still nuzzled in Ranmaru's chest and not making eye contact with him. "We don't get to decide that. And it would be unprofessional to make such a special request."
Ranmaru hums in understanding, wrapping his arms around Ai more tightly. He whines softly, squirming a little to press his ear to Ranmaru's heart. He closes his eyes, savouring the gentle rhythm in his ears as he curls into Ranmaru's touch.
"I think you should go," Ai murmurs softly. "It would be a missed opportunity otherwise."
There's a soft sigh from above him, before Ranmaru lowers himself onto the couch, pulling Ai with him. He gasps at the sudden movement, shifting in place until he's lying on top of Ranmaru, hands pressed to his chest. Ranmaru's palm on his cheek forces his eyes upon his as he leans into his touch.
"I think you're just looking to get rid of me," Ranmaru says lightly in an attempt to cheer him up. Despite the teasing tone, Ai can detect the slight pain in his voice. Even his smile seems forced, but his eyes hold so much affection for Ai, he can feel himself melting right in Ranmaru's arms.
"Never," he whispers, leaning forward to touch his lips to Ranmaru's.
It's only a light graze, but somehow the weight of Ranmaru's words stirs something in his chest, driving him to seek more of his touch. Ai breathes in the feeling, gasping as he chases Ranmaru's kiss in an attempt to drive away the loneliness threatening to curl in on him. An irrational thought, he knows, because the rest of QUARTET NIGHT would still be here, along with Natsuki and Syo and the other members of STARISH. But the past year and a half had been so full of Ranmaru, it's hard to remember what life was like before him, before his soft looks began and his touch sent sparks shivering down Ai's spine. Ai is so caught up in Ranmaru, he doesn't hear the footsteps making their way from the elevator, nor the keys jangling outside the door.
"Ai-Ai! I've got some big news to tell you!" Reiji comes bursting through the door of their apartment, freezing in place at the sight in front of him.
Ai breaks off the kiss, gasping for air while still seated on Ranmaru's lap. Ranmaru groans and covers his face with his palm, while Ai wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He closes his eyes, allowing his systems to stabilise before turning slowly towards the intruder in the room.
"Ran-Ran? Ai-Ai?" Reiji's gaze darts between the pair.
"Have a seat, Reiji," Ai answers him calmly. "I think you'll want to hear our news first."
Reiji gets over the shock rather quickly, his excitement bubbling over into energetic hugs that threaten to knock the two of them over. He seems more upset about the fact that he's not allowed to tell Camus, and he has to keep the information to himself until they say otherwise. Ranmaru is skeptical, but really anyone who knew how loud Reiji was would be equally as skeptical too.
All in all, Ai seems relieved that Reiji has taken to their relationship well enough, and even Ranmaru is at ease knowing there's one less person to pretend in front of. It makes Reiji's news easier to swallow, even if part of him had still been hoping for Ai to be the other person invited to join him on the international tour.
"It's for the best," Ai tells him once they're in the privacy of Ai's room. "I'm probably not cut out for flying anyway."
"A highly advanced idol robot with genius-level artificial intelligence, but no airplane mode," Ranmaru hums aloud, poking him in the side. "Looks like you still have room for improvement."
"Rude," Ai fires back, crossing his arms across his chest.
Ranmaru laughs, pulling Ai by the wrist and leading him to the bed. He guides Ai down with him, his hands easily finding their way back to his waist. He squeezes a little, enough to make Ai jump, and he can't help but laugh again. The laughter trails off into a yawn, and Ai takes notice, shaking his head.
"Is it time for a nap already?" he sighs, rolling off of him. He settles at his side, pressing his back into Ranmaru's chest while guiding his hands to wrap around his waist.
"Sorry we can't all be morning people," he chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of Ai's head. He closes his eyes, drifting off to sleep with Ai in his arms.
The morning of their departure, Reiji and Ranmaru are ready to leave even before the sun has risen. Ranmaru yawns, rubbing at his eyes and shifting the backpack on his arm. He rolls his shoulders, stretching the dull ache in his back before giving a nod to Reiji. Reiji nods, but then he cranes his neck and points to something behind Ranmaru. He turns in time to see Ai emerging from his bedroom, his hair slightly mussed as he yawns, walking towards the pair.
"Ai," Ranmaru meets him halfway, hand going to rub up and down his arm. "What are you doing up?"
"Seeing you off, why else would I be up this early?" he replies.
It's obvious from his tone that he's slightly cranky and still half-asleep, and Ranmaru can only chuckle as Ai presses himself into his chest.
"You didn't have to," he answers back, recalling the farewell they had already said to each other the night before.
"Fine, I'm going back to bed then," Ai snaps, though the edge is lost when he yawns again, and he seems too comfortable to move from Ranmaru's chest.
Ranmaru shakes his head, continuing to rub at Ai's arms. He shivers under his touch, the thin cardigan he's wearing over his night clothes doing little to shield him from the warmth of Ranmaru's hands. He doesn't seem to mind though, sighing deeply as he nestles further into his touch.
"Do you have everything?" Ai murmurs.
"You already double-checked my stuff last night," Ranmaru reminds him, squeezing his arm. "I trust you."
Ai nods, looking up at Ranmaru. He blinks, lips pursed as if he wants to say something else. He sighs, turning to the other person in the room.
"Reiji, a little privacy if you would please."
Ranmaru turns towards the front door where Reiji is standing with the suitcases, his eyes watching them intensely. He laughs nervously, giving them a thumbs-up.
"Of course! I'll be right here," he says, voice ever enthusiastic even this early in the morning. He faces the door, back turned towards the pair. But it's obvious after a while that he isn't planning on giving them privacy at all, with the way he keeps sneaking glances over his shoulder.
Ai narrows his eyes and Ranmaru huffs, stomping over to him. He quickly opens the door and wheels Reiji's suitcase out, grabbing Reiji's arm and pushing him outside before he has a chance to protest. There's audible whining as Ranmaru shuts the door, Ai shaking his head.
"The next month is going to be very interesting for you," Ai remarks, slotting himself into Ranmaru's arms again.
"Don't need you t' remind me," Ranmaru rolls his eyes.
Ai giggles, a faint tinkle that bubbles out of him as his body vibrates with his laughter. They stay like that and it's peaceful, Ai drawing comforting circles on Ranmaru's back as he rocks him gently, chin resting on his head. But when he presses a light kiss to Ai's forehead, he understands that it's time to let Ranmaru go.
"I have something for you," he murmurs as he untangles himself from Ranmaru's arms, but still keeping close.
Ranmaru hums, awaiting whatever surprise he has for him. Ai reaches into the pocket of his cardigan, and from it he pulls out a small stuffed bear. Ranmaru recognises it immediately; it's one of the many bears that line Ai's bed, each one neatly arranged in its place next to his pillow. Ever since their first concert with STARISH, Ai had taken to collecting the bears as a memento of every live show. They were unique to each concert, so Ranmaru immediately recognises this bear as the one from the show where they had first performed their duet on stage together.
"Will you take him with you, please?" he asks, holding the bear out to him.
Ranmaru is speechless, and then he can only chuckle as he reaches into his backpack, pulling out his own bear from the same concert.
"Only if you look after this guy for me," he murmurs, presenting his bear in turn.
Ai looks at their bears and laughs, his smile wide as he nods eagerly. He graciously accepts Ranmaru's bear, clutching it close as he pushes his own bear into Ranmaru's hands. He carefully pockets Ai's bear in his jacket, pulling his backpack on properly. Ai's face drops and he averts his gaze to the ground, curling his arms around himself.
"I'll be going then," Ranmaru murmurs.
"Have a safe trip," Ai nods.
Ranmaru nods back, beginning to walk towards the door. He half-expects Ai to follow after him, but he stays in the centre of the room, unusually still. Ranmaru's hand is on the doorknob when he leaves his suitcase at the door and decides to walk back to where Ai is standing. Tilting his chin up, he leans in and presses a kiss to Ai's lips, hearing the hitch in his breath. Slowly he melts into the kiss, reciprocating it with equal tenderness as he lets out a small whine. When they part, Ai buries himself into Ranmaru's chest again, wrapping his arms around his waist. Ranmaru shakes his head and does the same, leaning his cheek on top of Ai's head.
"…Come back soon, okay?" Ai murmurs quietly, his hold on Ranmaru tightening.
Ranmaru draws back and places a small peck on Ai's nose, causing him to giggle. He bumps their foreheads together, taking in the quietness of the apartment. Ranmaru is aware that he has a flight to catch and that Reiji is reluctantly waiting for him outside. But for now, he decides to be selfish and take comfort in the feeling of having Ai curled up in his arms.
He knows it's his last chance to have this before distance pulls him away to a far and foreign land.
Ai goes back to sleep after Reiji and Ranmaru have left, but instead of returning to his own room he decides to sleep in Ranmaru's bed. He curls up under the sheets, clinging to the remnants of his warmth. It's comforting and familiar, and makes it feel as if he's in Ranmaru's arms again.
A few hours later, he is awoken by a message from Ranmaru. He opens it to find a photo of his bear in front of the airplane window, with the runway and other planes visible in the background. Ai unfurls himself from the blankets and pads over to the far wall, snapping a photo of Ranmaru's bear staring out his bedroom window. He quickly sends it as a reply to Ranmaru's message, hoping it reaches him before he activates his phone's airplane mode. He gets the read receipt notification, and then a new message comes through from Ranmaru.
Wait for me, I'll see you soon
Take care
Ai allows himself to smile before beginning to type up a new message. He chews on his lip, typing out various responses only to delete them a few seconds later. He eventually decides on something and sends his reply before he has a chance to question himself.
Always.
Look after yourself.
The read receipt comes through, but there are no more messages after that. Judging by the time, his plane is just about to take off, so he knows he won't get to talk to Ranmaru again until after he's landed.
He stares out the window, looking up at the vast sky. When he squints hard enough, he thinks he can see the outline of an airplane against the clear blue sky. Whether it's Ranmaru's plane or not he doesn't know, but something tugs in his chest at the sight.
Ai crawls back to bed, cocooning himself in the blankets. A dull ache settles in his chest, and he curls in on himself. The bed feels so much colder, and the world that much bigger without Ranmaru.
Myu-chan! (snowflake emoji) You'll never guess what Ran-Ran brought with him on our tour!
Ai watches their group chat fill with selfies of Reiji posing with his bear. They're blurry and badly framed, and it's obvious they've been hastily taken. Ai can see Ranmaru's disgruntled face in the background trying in vain to snatch the bear back. He can't help but smile, giggling at his misfortune. Thankfully for Ranmaru, Camus isn't one to pry.
Peasant, I don't need your face spamming this chat
As expected of Camus, his reply is curt and short, and Reiji responds with a crying sticker. Ai shakes his head at their antics, a part of him relieved that the two have made it to their destination safe and sound.
Glad to see you both got there safely.
I was beginning to worry Reiji wouldn't make it.
Why only me?! (crying emoji)
You guys are so mean…
Ai smiles to himself once more, but it's quickly replaced by a frown when he realises Ranmaru hasn't said anything yet. Given the long flight they had just come off, he guesses he must be tired. Even so, he wants to hear from him just to put his mind at ease.
Is Ranmaru there?
Yeah~!
There's a pause, and then a new message from Reiji comes through.
Well… he was here
Reiji…
Kotobuki
Talk soon! (star emoji)
The chat falls quiet, and slowly the emptiness of the apartment begins to weigh down on Ai. It's not the first time he's been at home alone, but with QUARTET NIGHT being involved in more group work lately, it's unsettling just how empty the apartment could feel without the presence of his bandmates. He decides to distract himself by preparing for his own tour which he and Camus would be leaving on in a couple of days. He puts some music on in the background to alleviate the silence, pulling out a suitcase and beginning to go through his wardrobe.
Ai starts with picking out comfortable clothes for lounging around the hotel. It's an easy place to begin; no thought required, because only Camus would be the one to see him in it. He knows the weather will only get cooler from now, so he makes sure to pick out a thick parka for bundling himself in. As he leans over his laptop to check something, his fingers fall on a dark red sweater hanging over the top of his chair. He immediately recognises it as Ranmaru's sweater, the colour a striking contrast to the pastels in his own wardrobe.
It's hard to tell whether Ai forgot to return it to him, or if Ranmaru had accidentally left it in his room. He picks it up, pressing his nose to the fabric. It still smells like Ranmaru, the familiar scent of his shampoo clinging to the material.
He makes a note to return it to Ranmaru once he gets back from his trip. But for now, Ai folds the sweater neatly and packs it into his own suitcase.
Home was a new concept for Ai; he had never grown up in a family, never really understood what it meant to form bonds with family members. For him, the dorms at Shining Academy were a place to rest and recharge at the end of each day. He had always thought of it as a temporary arrangement while they coached their juniors in the Master course, so his room was never really lived in.
But moving in with QUARTET NIGHT – living with all their arguments and antics and messy dynamics – was the start of Ai slowly coming to understand what it meant to have a home. He learnt of Reiji's interesting methods of waking people up, and in the process learnt not to disturb Ranmaru in his sleep unless the situation really called for it. He received cooking tips from Ranmaru, while at the same time realising Ranmaru and Camus should never be put on cooking duty together.
All of his memories of their apartment were precious, and so when the time comes for himself and Camus to leave on their national tour, the departure is bittersweet. He walks around the apartment, fingers trailing over the backs of the couches and across the kitchen countertop. He can see the charred burn mark above the stove from the first (and only) time Ranmaru and Camus were in the kitchen together, and he smiles at the memory. It's an uneasy feeling having to leave, even if it was only for a few weeks. But it was weeks of not coming back here, to where his memories shared with QUARTET NIGHT were the strongest.
It turned out that separation did weird things to Ai's sense of time; he could count exactly how long it had been since Ranmaru and Reiji left on their tour, knew right to the exact minute how much time had passed since he had last had contact with either of them. He knew they had only been gone for a couple days, and yet to Ai it had felt like so much longer. He tries not to linger on the thought for too long, returning to his room. Camus comes knocking a few hours later, finding Ai packing away the last of his belongings.
"All ready to go?" he asks.
Ai nods, pulling the zipper on his suitcase closed. He doesn't tell Camus he had been ready for several hours now, and had only been unpacking and repacking his suitcase to provide a distraction from his thoughts. Camus nods back and leaves, giving Ai some time to finish preparing. He gets to his feet, working out the joints in his legs that have locked up from kneeling on the floor for so long. He packs away his laptop, carefully pocketing Ranmaru's bear in his jacket and giving it a light tap.
Just as he and Camus are about to leave, Ai finds himself lingering in the doorway. He stands perfectly still, eyes scanning over the apartment. It's then he comes to realise that he doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay here where's it's familiar. He wants to stay and wait for Reiji and Ranmaru to return, and he wants Camus to stay as well.
It's a selfish thought and he knows it, so even when Camus asks him why he's hesitating, he doesn't voice it aloud. He shakes his head, biting on his lip and tamping down the ache in his chest as he walks out.
He doesn't look back, not even once.
"Ran-Ran~," a voice sings, squeaky and forced. "It's time to wake up~."
Ranmaru stirs, but isn't ready to open his eyes yet. He grumbles, pulling the blanket over himself, but the voice is insistent.
"Wake up, oh wake up, sleepyhead," the voice sings again, and Ranmaru decides it's really too early to be dealing with this. "Don't you love me~?"
He eventually cracks one eye open and is met with Ai's bear in his face. Reiji grins and pushes the bear towards Ranmaru, causing his lips to connect with the bear's nose in an almost pseudo-kiss.
"What the hell, Reiji?" Ranmaru growls, fully awake now. He snatches the bear back, much to Reiji's disappointment. He whines, pouting as he purses his lips at Ranmaru.
"Aww, but you looked so cute when you were sleeping with it last night!" he says in his normal voice, and it's then that Ranmaru realises the squeakiness from earlier was Reiji trying to imitate Ai's voice.
"What the hell," he repeats, groaning as he falls back into the pillows.
"Oh, if only Ai-Ai could have seen you!" Reiji exclaims. "I wonder how he and Myu-chan are doing."
The mention of Ai's name causes Ranmaru to pause. He looks at the bear in his hand, recalling the warmth of that morning and the farewell they had shared. It couldn't have been more than two weeks since coming to the United States, but to Ranmaru it felt like so much longer than that. Maybe it was the separation, or the constant busyness in his schedule making time fly by more quickly. It wouldn't be long before they returned to Japan, and then they would fall right back into their usual routine.
"'m sure they're fine," he says, rolling onto his side.
"Is that why you haven't called them?" Reiji asks, causing Ranmaru to flinch.
Two weeks since leaving Japan meant it had been two weeks since he had last spoken properly with Ai and Camus. He didn't mind not speaking to Camus, but Ai was a different matter. He bites his lip, thankful that he's not facing Reiji at the moment as it makes it easier to avoid eye contact with him.
"They have their own things to focus on, like us," he says. "Don't wanna distract them."
"Wanting to talk to a friend isn't being a distraction!" Reiji chides, bounding to Ranmaru's side of the bed. He snatches up Ai's bear, grinning as he nuzzles it into Ranmaru's cheek. "Although in Ai-Ai's case, 'boyfriend' is probably the more appropriate term…"
"S-Shut up!" he snaps, already feeling his face going bright red. He shoves Reiji away, the latter stumbling back with a yelp.
"Awww, Ran-Ran's getting embarrassed!" he sings, waving Ai's bear around.
Ranmaru groans and buries himself under the covers, trying to tune out Reiji. He doesn't need to be told what to do, and he certainly doesn't want Reiji telling him how to run his relationship.
"I'm serious, though," Reiji says more seriously, Ranmaru feeling the other side of the bed shift with his weight. "I think Ai-Ai would really appreciate being able to talk to you, even if just for a minute."
As much as he hates to admit it, he knows there's some truth to Reiji's statement. That was just the kind of person Ai was, someone able to find contentment in even the simplest of things. But he's also worried that speaking with Ai will make him miss him more, and he knows that both he and Camus won't appreciate the distraction when they are supposed to be focusing on their work. It's a temporary sacrifice, but one he's willing to make.
"I'm gonna take a shower," he mumbles, throwing the covers off. He needs the distraction, and a morning shower is just what he needs to clear his head before the day starts.
"Ran-Ran," Reiji murmurs.
Ranmaru pauses, looking to Reiji just before he enters the bathroom. He's holding onto Ai's bear, something in his eyes akin to worry. Ranmaru quickly looks away, not wanting to confront him at the moment. As he's drying himself off afterwards, he checks his phone to find a new message in their group chat. Reiji has posted a new photo, and it's none other than a picture of Ranmaru sound asleep with Ai's bear next to him. Ranmaru slams his phone down, growling as he wrangles the door open. He's going to kill Reiji if it's the last thing he does.
Ai is curled up on the hotel couch, resembling a cocoon more than a person when Camus walks by. He's bundled up in Ranmaru's sweater, arms wrapped tightly around himself and eyes squeezed shut. Camus stops at the head of the couch, towering over his curled-up figure with teacup and sugar pot in hand.
"Mikaze," his voice booms in the quietness of the hotel room.
"Camus," Ai mumbles, his eyes fluttering open. He twists around to look at him, meeting the gaze of his bandmate. His expression is stern, but there's a gentleness in his eyes that belies his cold facade.
"Are you alright?" he asks.
He pauses, searching his mind for the answer. It's probably obvious to Camus that things aren't fine if his current state is anything to go by. But truth be told, he doesn't know how he's supposed to respond when he's still trying to figure out what is happening in his own mind.
"I don't know," he mumbles, twisting back around and burying his face in his arms. He hates this, hates feeling vulnerable and useless because it goes against everything he was created for.
He hears the faint clink of Camus' teacup on the table before there's the shuffling of movement. He feels a cold sensation prickle his forehead, causing him to whine and shudder at the feeling. He lowers his arm slightly to find Camus kneeling at his side, his fingers pressed to Ai's forehead.
"You're warm," he comments before pulling his fingers away.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," Ai says, resisting the urge to curl up again. "I've run multiple diagnostic tests and they all come back saying my systems are running perfectly fine."
Camus grunts, standing up and taking a seat at the free end of the couch. He crosses one leg over the other, folding his hands in his lap.
"Are they not?"
"I don't know," Ai sighs, the frustration evident in his voice. Whatever this is, it isn't recorded in any of his databases, and even his advanced artificial intelligence isn't helping him. He's used to having all the answers, so not knowing is only serving to make him more anxious about everything.
"How do you feel?" Camus asks, reaching over for the sugar pot.
Ai blinks, twisting to look at Camus. He tilts his head, frowning as he slumps in place.
"Forget about what your systems are telling you," Camus says, spooning some sugar into his tea. "How do you feel?"
Ai bites his lip, his fingers tightening on his arms. He closes his eyes, trying to find words to put to his current mood. A minute passes with only the gentle sound of the teaspoon stirring in Camus' cup to fill the silence. He patiently waits for Ai's answer, and Ai is grateful that he doesn't push.
"It feels like my whole body is heavy, and I'm tired all the time," he begins, his voice trailing off into a choked up sound. "It's like… a part of me is missing, and I don't know where it's gone."
Camus hums aloud, and then to Ai's surprise he begins to chuckle, low and quiet. Ai glares at him, but he simply takes a sip of his tea, closing his eyes.
"I think it's obvious where it's gone," he says almost cryptically. Ai pouts, not really in the mood to try and figure out what he's talking about.
"It's Kurosaki, isn't it?" Camus says, and Ai tenses up immediately.
"Ranmaru?" he repeats, already feeling warmth seep into his cheeks at the mention of his name.
"Don't give me that," Camus huffs, leaning over to flick Ai in the middle of his forehead. "I know what you two get up to."
Ai freezes up, his face hot as he squeaks and hides his face in his arms again. Camus sighs, taking another sip of his tea before setting it back down on the table.
"You're missing Kurosaki," he goes on, almost exasperated like he really can't believe he's needing to give an explanation. "It started after he and Kotobuki left, right?"
Ai looks up, eyes blinking as he processes Camus' statement. It was true, there had been a dull ache in his chest the day that Reiji and Ranmaru had left. He had ignored it, tried to tamp it down so it wouldn't distract him from his work. But for it to grow to this point and reduce him to a useless lump on the hotel couch, Ai finds it hard to believe.
"It probably doesn't help that you're feeling homesick as well," Camus continues, and Ai blinks again.
"Homesick?"
Camus reaches for his teacup, taking a sip and gesturing to the luxury hotel suite they're currently occupying. Ai looks around, taking in the silk curtains and the perfectly varnished coffee table in front of him.
"That day, you didn't really want to leave, did you?" he says. "You came because it's for work, but deep down, you wanted to stay."
Ai whimpers, curling into himself. It was one thing to have those thoughts in the first place, but hearing Camus voice them aloud, it makes him feel weak and vulnerable.
"It was selfish of me, I know," he mumbles, only for Camus to shake his head and chuckle lowly.
"It's human," he smiles, swirling his tea.
Ai sighs, closing his eyes and hugging his arms around himself a little tighter. Human emotions, he thinks, deciding that he would be better off without them. He knows that isn't true though, and it's just his loneliness speaking out, because he owes it all to those around him for teaching him the value of such feelings.
"Have you spoken to Kurosaki since he left?" Camus interrupts his thoughts, peering down at him.
"We've been messaging each other," Ai offers, and he can see the way Camus' brow immediately creases.
"That doesn't count," Camus says curtly, lifting his teacup to his lips. "Not even a phone call?"
Ai shakes his head, fingers digging into his arms.
"He's busy, I don't want to disturb him," he mumbles.
Camus sighs deeply, lowering his teacup with more force than necessary. The porcelain rattles in place, Ai flinching at the sudden noise and peering up at Camus.
"Unbelievable," he growls, standing up.
"Where are you going?" Ai asks.
"There's a famous shop that sells cream puffs not two blocks from here," he replies, pulling on a coat and scarf and walking towards the door.
Ai frowns, as he's sure he saw a batch of cream puffs in the bar fridge just the other day. But before he can say something, the door shuts closed, leaving Ai in the hotel suite by himself. It's too quiet, and he shivers, staring at the teacup left on the table. It's only been half-drunk, which causes him to frown once more. Camus never left his tea unfinished, not even if they were running late for an appointment. Ai can count the number of times Ranmaru and Camus have argued over the matter, and in fact he has a suspicion Camus intentionally takes his time just to get on Ranmaru's nerves.
Thinking about his bandmates makes his chest heavy, especially when he thinks about how everyone is separated at the moment. Really, he wants nothing more than for them to be together as a group again. Ai buries his face in his arms, wanting to sleep off the feeling and hoping that the ache in his chest will have passed by the time he wakes up.
Before he can doze off, a faint melody begins to play, and Ai takes a moment to realise the sound is coming from his phone. He uncurls himself from his cocoon, searching his pockets until he finds it. Ranmaru's name comes up on the screen, causing him to almost drop his phone. Ai's fingers are shaking as he fumbles, accepting the call.
"Mikaze speaking," he says quietly, still in shock and half-expecting it to be someone else on the other end.
"Ai? It's me, Ranmaru," comes the familiar voice, sending a wave of emotions running through Ai.
"Ranmaru," he breathes, hardly able to contain the joy in his voice.
"What's with the formality?" he laughs, and the sound makes Ai's chest swell with warmth. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he smiles, knowing it to be true. Hearing Ranmaru's voice has already lifted his spirits, as he clutches onto his phone tightly.
"You sure? I was worried something had happened because Camus decided to call."
"But Camus never calls you," Ai points out, before he pauses and exclaims softly to himself.
"Exactly!" he huffs before cutting himself off at the sound of Ai's laughter. "Oi, are you laughing? What's so funny?"
"It's nothing," Ai insists, shaking his head. He pulls his legs up to his chest, leaning into his phone.
"How's your tour going?" Ranmaru asks, changing the subject.
"Doing well, Camus makes for a very good partner," Ai teases lightly, and he can practically hear the groan in Ranmaru's next words.
"Wish I could say the same."
"What's wrong with Reiji?"
"He's plain annoying, always loud," Ranmaru begins to list off to Ai's amusement. "Too much energy, you can't keep up with the guy."
"I don't think you needed to take a trip across the world to figure that out," he remarks, smiling once more to himself. "Think of it this way: would you rather Camus be there with you instead?"
"Hell no," Ranmaru answers immediately, and Ai can already imagine his face scrunching up at the mere thought of the idea. He laughs, picking up his phone and walking over to the window. He leans against the glass, staring outside and pressing the phone close to his ear as he concentrates on Ranmaru's voice.
"How about your end? What's it like over there?"
"Amazing," Ranmaru's voice is full of wonder, and Ai smiles, encouraging him to continue. As Ranmaru tells him all about his work and the people he's met, Ai closes his eyes, imagining the different stories that are told to him. He shakes his head upon hearing of Reiji's attempts to practice English, and becomes excited with Ranmaru when the latter expresses his desire to work even harder after seeing the quality of the international talent scene.
"One day, let's come back here; the four of us, as QUARTET NIGHT," Ranmaru says, and Ai feels his stomach flutter at the thought. He's excited at the idea of being able to travel someplace new, but most of all, he feels warm at the mention of the four of them being together again.
"…Before that, just come home soon," he says softly, causing Ranmaru to chuckle.
Ai pushes off the window, beginning to walk back to the couch. He finds it hard to keep himself from smiling as he continues exchanging further words with Ranmaru, until he hears him yawn on the other end. Ai frowns, taking a moment to check his internal world clock.
"Ranmaru, it's so early over there," he says, voice slightly panicked.
"'s fine," he hears him say.
"Go back to sleep, you have a busy day ahead of you, right?"
"I know, just wanted to check up on you," Ranmaru replies, his words immediately having a calming effect on Ai and filling him with warmth. He finds it amazing how one phone call has made so much difference, and he makes a note to thank Camus for his help later.
"I'm really glad you called, Ranmaru. Thank you," he smiles.
"Well, one of us had to call first," he smirks, but then his voice takes on a more serious tone. "'m sorry it took this long."
"I'm sorry as well," Ai says, biting his lip.
"Hey, it's fine now, isn't it?"
Ai nods, smiling to himself. He goes to sit on the edge of the couch, grasping his phone tightly as he presses a hand to his chest.
"Ranmaru?" he murmurs, holding himself still as he awaits his response.
"I'm here," his voice is quiet, slightly scratchy through the phone speaker. "What is it?"
Ai fiddles with the cuff of his sweater, pursing his lips. A simple phrase is caught on the end of his tongue, but he can't bring himself to say it. He shakes his head, settling for focusing on Ranmaru's voice once more.
"Could you sing for me?"
He hears the slight intake of breath from Ranmaru's side, and then he's laughing softly, causing Ai to smile as well.
"Of course, any request?"
Ai pauses for a moment, before he opens his mouth and begins to sing first. He starts to sing the chorus of their duet, the tempo slower than how they would normally perform it. Ranmaru catches on quickly and joins in, allowing his voice to blend with Ai's.
Somehow, the current distance and the development in their relationship brings new meaning to the words of the song. Ai can feel his chest swelling as he continues to sing, letting go of all of the feelings he's kept to himself the past few weeks. They sit in silence for a moment after the chorus ends, Ai listening to Ranmaru's quieted breaths on the other end.
"Hey, you mind if I run another song by you?" he says after a pause, and Ai perks up.
"I would love to hear it," he replies, curious.
Ranmaru takes a deep breath, and there's a brief pause as Ai eagerly awaits his song. When he starts to sing, Ai immediately feels a spark of warmth course through his body. He inhales sharply, gripping his phone a little tighter.
It's only a melody, no words put to it yet, but already Ai is enraptured by the beautiful sound. It's a slow song, more ballad-like compared to songs he's done in the past. It reminds him of the first time they heard their duet song, mulling over how the style was different to his usual. Ai likes to think that maybe their duet song is what inspired this newest piece, as he closes his eyes and listens.
He notices the gentle contrast in Ranmaru's vocals, the way he's chosen to showcase his range by weaving together high and low notes with his voice. The slower tempo also shows off his stability and the skill with which he sustains each phrase. By the time he finishes, there's a strange pang in Ai's chest that he can't quite place, but it fills him with warmth and longing at the same time.
"Still workin' on it, so it's not finished yet," Ranmaru begins to explain. "Also gotta finish writing the lyrics, but…"
"I think it's beautiful," Ai cuts him off before he can continue, all sincerity and honesty in his voice.
"I can't wait for you t' hear the whole thing."
"Me too."
Ai bites his lip, suddenly overcome with a sense of longing after hearing Ranmaru's song. He wishes to keep talking with Ranmaru, to continue listening to the sound of his voice, but he knows he can't. A small whimper manages to escape from his mouth, prompting Ranmaru to become concerned on the other end.
"Hey, you okay?"
"I just…" Ai chokes out, trying his best to keep himself together. "It's so good to hear your voice again."
"Ai…" Ranmaru begins before whispering hushed words of comfort and reassurance, as if making up for all the things he hasn't said in his absence. Ai could practically melt, hearing all of the affection in Ranmaru's voice and his words.
"I had no idea you were hurting this much, I'm so sorry," he murmurs, strangely vulnerable in a way Ai has never heard before.
"No, I was stubborn as well so I'm to blame too," he says. "I guess that makes us both idiots."
Ranmaru laughs, and Ai smiles, knowing that things will be okay between them now.
"I had better let you go back to sleep," he says, Ranmaru yawning almost on cue.
"Alright, I'll talk t'you again soon," he says, and Ai feels his chest flutter at his words.
"Promise?" Ai begins, and Ranmaru chuckles.
"Promise," he replies, and Ai smiles, nodding his head.
"Talk to you soon, then," he murmurs.
"G'night, take care," comes Ranmaru's answer before the line goes quiet.
Ai stares at his phone after hanging up, looking at the picture on Ranmaru's contact screen. Their phone call had felt so normal, it was as if he had never left. But now seeing his face on his phone, and surrounded by the silence of the hotel suite, the few words that had stuck in his throat earlier come to the forefront of his mind once again, weighing down on his chest.
"…I miss you," Ai says aloud, just to hear how it sounds rolling off of his tongue.
The last leg of the tour ends with the red carpet premiere of their movie. Ai sits in the limousine, perfectly still and eyes closed. Camus is across from him, legs folded with a cup of tea in hand.
"We're almost there," he announces.
Ai opens his eyes, gazing out the dark-tinted windows as they drive through the streets of the city. Street lamps light the way, neon signage and brightly-lit store displays passing by him in a blur. Camus finishes his tea and sets the empty cup down, adjusting the cravat around his neck. Up ahead, Ai can see the movie theatre, another limousine already parked out the front and a crowd of people gathered with cameras at the ready. He takes a deep breath, fiddling with his ribbon tie. The limo slows to a stop, and already Ai can see the bright lights of cameras flashes from inside. Everyone's eyes would be on them, not wanting to miss any moment.
The door opens, and Ai and Camus walk onto the red carpet. Camus at his side bows deeply for the crowd, and Ai gives a small wave for the cameras, smiling in response. Slowly, the two of them make their way down the carpet, stopping for photos or sometimes sharing a few words with the television crew. Both of them are so focused on the crowd around them, they don't notice the person waiting for them at the head of the carpet.
"Took you two long enough~."
Ai freezes at the voice, head whirling around when he spots Reiji standing a few feet ahead. He's dressed similarly to them in a black tailored suit, with a dark green bowtie as his accessory of choice.
"Kotobuki!" Camus exclaims as Reiji gives them a wink. "I thought you were still overseas."
"And miss our own premiere?" he grins.
"But if you're here, then…" Camus voice trails off, and Ai holds his breath as Reiji laughs, standing to the side.
Behind him stands Ranmaru, tall and proud as he affixes them with a smirk. Ai releases his held breath, his cool mask of professionalism falling away the moment Ranmaru waves at them.
"Yo!"
"Ranmaru," he breathes, running forward and burying himself in his arms.
He clutches him close, grip tightening as he presses his nose to his chest. The warmth is familiar, as is the comforting hold of Ranmaru's embrace, and all he wants is to never let go again.
"Hey there," Ranmaru murmurs against his hair, the words quiet and gentle and for him alone.
"You're here," Ai laughs as he pulls back slightly, the words coming out more shaky than he would like, not that Ranmaru seems to mind. "You're here."
"I'm back," he says, eyes fond as he smiles at him, and Ai has to stop himself from leaning up and kissing that smile of his.
"Welcome back," Ai whispers, closing his eyes. He pushes his head into his chest, wrapping his arms around him again.
They might have been on the red carpet, and he's aware of the sound of cameras shutters going off. But none of that matters to him now, not when he's right where he wants to be, content and safe in Ranmaru's arms.
"Myu-chan, I missed you so much!" he hears Reiji exclaiming.
Ai opens his eyes in time to see Reiji tackling Camus into a hug, much to the latter's annoyance. He's trying to fight him off but Reiji is persistent, whining about not being able to see him for weeks and promising never to leave for an extended period of time again. Ai doesn't think much on their hug, until Reiji catches his eye and winks at him.
Ai blinks, before smiling in understanding. The press, and in turn the public would never suspect something if their other two bandmates were caught on camera hugging on the red carpet, thus keeping their secret safe.
"Ai-Ai! Ran-Ran!" Reiji yells.
They part for a moment, Reiji yanking on Ranmaru's hand despite his protests. Ai allows himself to be pulled along, squeaking when he finds himself caught in the middle of their group huddle. He looks to Ranmaru, who smirks at him and chuckles lowly. Even Camus is smiling, nodding slightly at Ai. Reiji grins and puts his arms around Ranmaru and Camus, laughing out loud.
"Isn't this great~? We're all together again," he says with a wide smile.
Ai looks around at his bandmates and can't help but smile, nodding as he closes his eyes and they gather around him. His chest swells in the shared warmth of their embrace, and he knows he's finally home.