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The excitement that breaks out after Minseok’s new Instagram account is leaked is frankly, exactly what he expected to happen. Fan accounts post his selfie across all forms of social media, and the comments flood with an overwhelmingly positive response.
Minseok smiles as he scrolls through a couple of the posts, reading the sweet captions his fans have coupled with his selfie. It’s always so nice to see them get excited over something, and while Minseok might not have his Instagram notifications on, he knows the account is being followed by thousands per minute. The numbers climb and climb and Minseok just shakes his head with a laugh. His phone buzzes as Baekhyun texts him, joking about all the hype. After the two of them followed each other is when the news broke, so Minseok isn’t surprised by his teasing messages.
No, Minseok’s surprise is caused by something else entirely. A notification on Instagram lights up his phone, but it isn’t for his new account. His old, but familiar, username pops up, followed by a message. Minseok hesitates upon opening it. There’s no doubt who it’s from. The username burns into his mind every time he sees it.
He opens the notification after a couple minutes of waiting. It’s been a while since they’ve talked, especially through Instagram. It was riskier, being on a public social media account, than just texting each other normally. Still, there’s a familiar warmth in the memory of it all, Minseok can’t deny that.
7_luhan_m: I like the new selfie.
It’s the only message, but it’s enough to make a ghost of a smile pull on the corner of Minseok’s lips. Luhan was always so straightforward with his texting, and time proves no different.
xiurista90: Better screenshot it then before it disappears.
It’s always so odd, how they fall back into a conversation so quickly. So normally, so playfully. As if it’s still years back, and they’re clumsily figuring out their way through a new app as they sit together on the couch in their dorm. Minseok remembers it like it was just yesterday. He can recall the way they sat for hours and thought about usernames and profile pictures, and how they would grin stupidly when the accounts blew up with followers. Oh, how their popularity had grown since those early days.
There had been many old accounts, created and deleted, some famed and others forgotten. It’s this first one, though, xiurista90 , that still haunts Minseok. It’s the reason Minseok is messaging Luhan right now, as if it hasn’t been months since they’ve talked. The account is still popular amongst fans, but Minseok pretends like it doesn’t exist. He even lied about forgetting the password to it, just to get away from the memories attached to it. He knows he still follows Luhan on it, and he knows Luhan doesn’t follow him. He also knows that Luhan messages the account on some odd days, like today, despite the fact that he has all of Minseok’s other contact information saved.
It’s like a secret between them. Nobody would expect it. Minseok is supposedly locked out of the account, Luhan no longer follows him, and it’s public, far too risky to try anything with. And still, it’s their preferred form of communication. It’s why, even now, Minseok’s new Instagram account makes his chest burn just a little bit. It’s no longer theirs. It’s no longer the account they brainstormed handles for or made sure to follow each other on, so they could always keep in touch.
No, this one is strictly Minseok’s. There are no excuses for it. He can’t follow Luhan, Luhan can’t follow him, and there’s no reason he can come up with to ditch it. Minseok doesn’t really want to, to be honest. It’s a fresh start. His previous accounts only reminded him of the past, but they’re deleted now, except for the one he can’t let go of. Deleting it would mean completely cutting off the past. Sure, he’d still have ways of contacting Luhan, but it wouldn’t ever be the same. On xiurista90 , they can forget the present. They can pretend it’s a time when direct messages like the ones they’re sending now were a daily occurrence. That’s not something Minseok can part with. Which is why, he’s relieved when Luhan responds.
7_luhan_m: Oh trust me, I already saved the picture. You look good.
Minseok isn’t entirely sure how to describe the feeling blooming in his chest. It should just be a friendly compliment, but Minseok knows there’s more behind it. He wonders if Luhan really saved the picture or if he’s just joking around. He desperately hopes it’s the prior. There’s something oddly comforting in the thought of Luhan finding out about his new account and rushing to check it, then saving the first picture posted there.
Minseok knows he’s guilty of doing the same. He checks Luhan’s Instagram account an embarrassing amount of times per day and even has his notifications turned on for new posts on his old account. They don’t talk often, but it’s Minseok’s way of checking in on Luhan, making sure he’s ok. Making sure he’s happy.
xiurista90: I’m glad you think so.
The conversation slows a bit after that, neither of them really knowing what to say. It makes Minseok nervous. He knows if he doesn’t say something, they might fall back into silence. Who knows how long it could last this time around. He doesn’t want it to be months before Luhan messages him again or years before he has the courage to respond.
7_luhan_m: How are you?
Minseok breathes a sigh of relief. Luhan was always the one to take the initiative, and Minseok is thankful this time. He knows there is a deeper meaning behind the few words. They’re past the point of casual conversation. Luhan isn’t asking for a short response. It’s his way of pushing for a discussion that Minseok knows will last all night long.
And it does.
It isn’t hard for them to fall into their usual habits. Their messages grow less formal, more friendly. Luhan updates Minseok on his busy schedule, and the latter does the same. The texts make them both smile, though neither can see the other, they can feel it. Luhan knows, in some Seoul hotel room, Minseok’s gummy grin is taking over half of his face. Minseok knows, in some Beijing apartment, Luhan has that soft and faint smirk tugging at the end of his lips.
They talk about everything and nothing, yet still manage to carefully skirt around the elephant in the room. Them. It’s been years, and they both know it should be brought up, but now just isn’t the time. It won’t be long before the sun rises, and they’ll return to their daily lives, only finding themselves drifting back to each other’s messages in a few months time.
It’s Minseok who cracks first. He’s an hour ahead of Luhan, so he isn’t too surprised when sleep starts to tug on his body. It’s not like he has the time to be staying up so late either, with a comeback just around the corner, followed by his upcoming enlistment. They’re both scary topics, and ones that were luckily avoided in his conversation.
Their last few messages are somewhat regretful, whether from exchanging too much information or ending the night early, neither of them really know. It’s a sad feeling though, leaving the conversation behind. They both know it will be a while before they have another one like it. Maybe even years at this point.
Minseok tries not to worry too much as he says goodnight. He hopes it won’t be months like last time. Maybe, it could start lessening to weeks, and even days. Maybe, in the future, daily messages will return as a normal occurrence. That faint sliver of hope is what pushes Minseok to send his last message of the night, before switching back to his new account.
It’s gained hundreds of thousands of followers in the few hours he was away from it, and despite the excitement that comes with it, it’s truly not the same. He can’t stop himself before he’s logging back into xiurista90 to send one last message.
xiurista90: I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Minseok waits with bated breath, trying not to get his hopes up too high when Luhan reads the message in less than a minute. Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait too long for a response, and when he gets one, he can’t help but feel relieved that he never deleted that old account.
7_luhan_m: I’ll be waiting ❤️