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Baz knew he was in love with Simon during their fifth year at Watford, but the realization hadn’t been anything dramatic or ground breaking. He had simply heard Simon loudly laugh at a joke Penny had told him, and Baz had looked up before he could stop himself. Deep down, Baz already knew why Simon’s presence made his heart beat rapidly against his chest, and why Simon brushing against him on his way out of their room made Baz’s skin tingle for hours afterwards. But seeing Simon’s head thrown back mid laugh, eyes crinkled tightly shut, a fucking gorgeous smile on his face, and his hair even more golden in the sunlight, Baz knew that he was hopelessly in love with Simon Snow. He knew from then on that he was in too deep to get out.
Being in love with someone who hates you (because of your own damn issues) was a miserable affair. There were times where Baz just wanted to end whatever issues they had and snog Simon to death. Sometimes Baz found himself reaching out to brush a loose curl out of Simon’s face and only barely manage to play it off as a cough (thankfully he was in love with an oblivious git). Most nights Baz laid in bed thinking about the day they met and regretting ever letting his family’s disdain for the Mage allow him to treat Simon the way he did. Maybe they would’ve been friends. Best friends, even. Instead, Baz was vile towards the scrawny blonde boy the Crucible brought him to.
Baz regrets the way he treated Simon for all of those years. When they got together, Baz frequently apologized to Simon about everything he ever did and said. He would whisper all his apologies as they drifted off to sleep, as that was the only way he could fall asleep (the guilt had just become too much). Even now, on extremely bad days, Baz apologizes to Simon. Just like when it first began, Simon would assure him that it was all ok and that he understood why Baz was the way he was. Simon would smooth down his hair and skim his knuckles against Baz’s tear stained face and let him apologize until Baz’s voice grew hoarse and they fell asleep. When Simon first comforted Baz after one of his apology sprees, Baz felt his already love filled heart fill even more. Somehow after all the shit Baz had put him through, Simon still loved him.
Simon loved him. Knowing that Simon Snow, the Chosen One, loved him was more than enough for Baz. He had never expected to befriend Simon, let alone somehow get the boy to fall in love with him and his issues. Baz had thought for years that Simon Snow would just be his sworn enemy who would eventually put Baz out of his misery and kill him, but he was only partially wrong. Simon did put Baz out of his misery, but not by killing him. Simon put Baz out of his misery by giving him what he’d always wanted; love.
The night that Simon had said he loved Baz was the night that made him decide that no matter what happened, Baz would live for Simon. It was a Wednesday evening and Baz had found his boyfriend lying on the living room floor, covered in papers and textbooks.
“This is why you can’t burry your responsibilities, Snow.” Baz had said, standing above him. He fully knew that Simon had had a paper due for a class for weeks, but had only started it yesterday. It was due in approximately 6 hours.
Simon merely groaned in response, rustling the papers on top of his stomach. Baz chuckled at the sight. This same man had defeated dragons and goblins, but was overthrown by seven pieces of paper with writing on it.
Baz had the intention of making Simon finish his work as soon as he got home, but seeing the poor boy quite literally drowning in work had made Baz rethink his plans. Simon had been working hard when he had left that morning for school. He had even risen before Baz to continue his work. Baz looked at the papers and saw that a majority of them were messily filled out. He had decided that perhaps Simon deserved a break.
“Up.” Baz said.
“Sorry?”
“Get up and put your work and textbooks on the coffee table.”
Simon opened an eye to look at Baz. “You aren’t going to make me work?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Snow.” Baz rolled his eyes. “Of course I’ll make you work. For now, however, you deserve a break.” He grabbed the papers and books off Simon and neatly stacked them and placed them on the table (one of them had “what would Penny say???” scrawled across it, which made Baz smirk). Then he grabbed Simon.
“What are we doing?” He asked.
Baz grabbed his boyfriend’s waist and pulled the boy close until their chests were flushed together and there was hardly any space between them. Just how he liked it. “We, my dear, are going to dance.” And with that, Baz began to move them to an nonexistent slow song.
“Uh, Baz? There’s- there’s no music.” Simon, though confused, followed along with Baz’s graceful movements.
“We don’t need music. Just use whatever song is in your head and use it.” Baz nuzzled his face into his favorite spot on Simon’s neck and kissed the now familiar mole there. “Now enjoy this incredibly romantic moment.”
Simon did enjoy the moment. They swayed together in their silent flat for what felt like hours, but neither cared. Being together like this so intimately with no interruptions was rare for them. The music in their heads lulled them into a blissful peace that they could only come to when with each other. In the other’s arms, they felt safe and protected. Baz would never give up how Simon made him feel. How alive he felt with Simon. It was incredibly addicting.
Then Simon had moved his head from Baz’s chest to whisper in his ear the three words Baz had only dreamt of hearing. “I love you.” Simon had giggled when Baz stopped dancing and stared at him with wide, unbelieving eyes.
“Say it again.” Baz remembered saying.
“I love you, Baz.” A kiss to Baz’s nose followed.
“Again.”
“Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, I love you.” A kiss to his high cheek bones.
“Again.”
“You’re mine and I love you.” A kiss to his forehead.
“And again.” Baz couldn’t stop smiling.
“I, Simon Snow, am hopelessly in love with Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. I really hope he feels the same way.” Simon blushing was such a beautiful sight.
“Of course I love you, you git.” They finally kissed on the lips.
Penny later found them lying on the couch wrapped up in each other, asleep. Their hands were clasped tightly together and Simon’s head was tucked underneath Baz’s. They both had fallen asleep with smiles on their faces.
Simon’s paper had been long forgotten about on the table, but the rush to finish the remaining three pages in an hour were worth it, according to Simon. When Baz had asked him why, Simon had said that it was because every time he had looked up from his writing, seeing Baz’s lovesick smile aimed at him was “beautiful and so worth it.”
Baz had tackled him into the bed after the explanation.