Work Text:
“The Holy Powers!”, the Dark Vala mocks, unable to hide the scorn in His tone, the raised eyebrow in a sudden expression of contempt on His face, “They have done their utmost to close the circle around them, declaring even doubt to be sin: you saw, you sang, then you have to act the way they tell you to do”.
“You are supposed to be cast into faith without any more involvement, by a miracle, a chance of flame, because everything is said, everything is sung already”, He speaks with a luscious tone of voice, caressing his face with one hand, while His other one holds his right hand gently. The way their fingers connect, oh, so intensely interlaced, when the Vala tightens the grip.
“We must be adequate to Him, to The One”. The way He speaks feels so natural and right. “As well as each Ainu comes from a part of His Thought, each plane of reality corresponds an instrument of His high knowledge adequate to the task of knowing that particular level of reality. The One calls it ´The Halls of Ëa´, our sub-creation”.
When He wraps both of His hands around his, Mairon feels a thrill, as if their hands hold memories of connections in thousand other wisdoms and consciousnesses. The Vala’s fëa transcends any hröa limitation, a mysterious longing surging into him. And the more of His hands want to hold him, the more of Mairon’s fëa wants to experience with Him.
“From then on, we purely founder in His Light as in the brightest and least ambiguous of elements: we are foreclosed from the original Flame. Even a glance towards lands, even the thought that one perhaps exists for something else as well as drowning in the Radiance, even the slightest impulse of our aspiring nature is a mere sin”.
“The reflection on the original Theme is as well defined as sinful: it has to be accepted by intuitiveness. What is wanted are blindness, intoxication and an eternal song over the waves in which Will has drowned. My Brother calls it intuition. I don’t have any kind of guided intuitions: only outer thoughts belong to Me and I've been punished for them”. He teases him with His mouth coming closer but not quite touching his lips.
“What about outer thoughts?”, the Vala whispers in his ear, “The unpardonable sin. I am afraid I may have committed it over and over again”. The Vala's body feels so powerful up against him, his strong hand on his neck and warm lips on his cheek: intertwined his fingers with His, they feel like one. “I’m a living sinner. I will show you for the rest of your life what I see, what I feel, and you’ll still find you in Me, still being you in Me”.
Mairon tilts his head back and presses his soft lips against His, moaning softly as He kisses him passionately. He smiles under that kiss joining His will utterly.
A memento of his new-born soul from The One's Thought and the first thing that Eru did after bringing his fëa into being: to kiss his soul. The fëa then went through music always dimly remembering that kiss, a kiss of perfect love; since then, his fëa measures all against that original perfect kiss.
The Vala’s kiss feels Divine, the ultimate carnal mirroring of it.