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Thoroughbred.
Maya hates that word more than anything else for it’s been used to describe her all throughout her childhood and it makes her feel so less. Some might think it’s such a compliment to be regarded as that but for Maya- Maya feels like she’s an object, an object that’s only ever useful for one thing- was created for only one purpose with no choice as to what that purpose may be.
(She never really got to choose.)
It was as if she’s a product instead of a human that’s’ supposed to be born free in this world; a product of two prestige actors that the moment she was born, someone already stamped the word “star” on her forehead- that the moment she first took a breath in this world she was already given a script she’s meant to follow no matter what.
She’s got to be the best. Always got to be this and that.
She feels as if that this world is a cage sometimes; the moment she was brought here, her hands are already tied to something all just because she’s a Tendou.
Sometimes she feels like her name isn’t even hers just a label- or even a curse, it’s that damned name that brought her into this unwanted expectations and spotlight.
It’s suffocating.
Exhausting.
Lonely.
Maya has always been used to being alone. Everyone around her looked at her as if she’s this untouchable entity, some even fears her, then there are those who wants something out of her. She was deemed as cold and aloof without ever even getting to know her, like a book that has never been opened nor read and yet is already so criticized, judged, people spewing something about her that has no foundation on, and so, with a bitter thought, “if that’s the role they want me to play then I will.”
With those roles continuously being tossed to her, she feels as if she’s slowly becoming something that she isn’t, it's when she lies awake at night, holding onto the stuffed animals in her room that’s only been her company since she was little, her chest feels so tight and heavy, as if she was drowning.
It’s then that she remembers that she’s not all of those.
Tendou Maya is sensitive yet seen as someone who’s cold and indifferent; Tendou Maya overthinks despite the calm demeanor she always puts on for the public eye; Tendou Maya has fears, silly fears even, but everyone thinks she’s not capable of being afraid of anything.
Tendou Maya is every bit of what a human is and yet at the same time she isn’t.
But she’ll carry on, she’ll do what she has always been good at- or rather what she’s born to do; she’ll act, she’ll accomplish her designated role as the new pride for the Tendou name, she’ll shrug everything, she’ll be indifferent to everything as everyone thinks her to be.
(And yet she’s a total wreck.)
Everyday passed by a blur to her, everything was so bleak and grey; it feels static and she’s just moving through the currents for she thought maybe that’s just enough.
Everything has made her so numb and maybe that’s okay.
(It scares her sometimes, the emptiness she sees in her eyes.)
But one day, during her entrance exam at the prestigious academy, there’s a spark; the usual grey world was suddenly forming colors again and it’s all because of the hand that’s laid out in front of her.
She blinks and looks up to the owner of it and she sees her for the first time.
Saijou Claudine.
Red eyes was filled with so much determination, there’s this intense ferocity behind it and that smirk on her perfectly-shaped face, taunting her, and the brunette for once felt challenged that Maya couldn’t help but smile as she took her hand.
And she can see the shock on the blonde’s face.
Maya almost wanted to chuckle at that.
But she has a role to play there.
She already knows what the blonde thinks of her and yet something about her just screams different from everyone else.
It was the way she looked at Maya.
The way those red eyes made her feel like she was actually seen.
She knew the moment she entered the room all eyes would be on her and yet she felt invisible, everyone just stares, everyone just whispers for no one dares to go near her.
And yet that blonde, she went up to her. Crimson eyes full of determination and not one of fear or envy and she asked her to stretch together and Maya- Maya felt as if she was seen for the first time.
(The brunette almost wanted to tear up.)
Her chest that’s always been so tight and heavy, felt like it’s going to burst with such a small notion.
And that was the start of how she’s slowly breaking out of her usual role, of how she’s able to feel so much, and of how her grey world is slowly being filled with so many colors but mostly lately it’s the color of wine.
She’s so grateful for that day, it’s something she could never forget.
It was the start of a good rhythm, of how once she was nothing but a melody with no lyrics to make a full song until the blonde enters her life and gives everything that was lacking in her life for so long.
Maya has finally found someone who can keep up with her.
And yet she knows there’s still a huge gap between them.
Claudine sees her as a challenge, someone the blonde needs to beat, that the holder of those gorgeous ruby eyes announced her as a rival.
Rival.
With every role they take on in class, with every practice so late in the day, pushing each other to their best, to improve together and to shine brighter, Maya thought of Claudine as her partner.
For the brunette has never felt the same wavelength with anyone as she ever did with the blonde.
But Maya thinks that’s okay too.
It works.
For in her eyes, only the blonde could ever surpass her, the only one who could ever be in the same level as her.
That’s why it works.
Why they work.
For Claudine always goes beyond more than anyone else.
(Maybe even more than her.)
The blonde chose this path, the blonde chose to have all of this expectations, this spotlight on her that despite the anxiety of what her past brings, being labeled as a child prodigy and needing to live up for it as an adult now the blonde continues to fight head on with a smile on her face.
She may trip, fall, make mistakes, and may fail but she gets back up so easily but sometimes it scares Maya that the fire in her eyes would be put out but no, the blonde continues to prove her wrong always; with every step back, the blonde moves forward with more light behind those crimson eyes, it's so blinding and captivating and Maya could never look away.
For it fills Maya with determination.
To be the very best she can be for the blonde. All her life, she was regarded as someone who’s perfect at everything she does, that sometimes she can get too complacent that there’s no one out there who’d be able to reach her but Claudine broke all of that.
The blonde keeps chasing her. To climb the tower where Maya seems to be at.
And she’s so thankful.
It pushes her to be everything the blonde sees in her.
She would never ever want to disappoint her.
And so when her cape fell down on the floor for the first time, she feels numb again. There's so many thoughts going through her mind but the most prevalent one was Claudine, she feels like she's not worthy to look at those eyes again.
But then she heard her.
Claudine’s voice cracking with tears rolling down on her cheeks as she tears the button away and screams that Maya hasn’t lost that it looks like she’s convincing herself rather than everyone else in there.
When the blonde fell to her knees, Maya wanted nothing more than to run up to her, to hold her up and wipe those tears away but then Claudine cries out again,
“Ma Maya.”
The brunette was frozen still then.
Claudine was lost in the moment, her emotions getting the best of her that she started speaking in French, Maya knew the blonde only tends to do that for when she’s nervous, surprised, and sometimes in the same state that she is right now and she learned that language all because of that.
For the many nights they shared aside from late night practice in the dance room, they were both able to confide to one another, always seeking each other out for when something’s troubling them, in which most cases the fears they have that forms into nightmares. The blonde would be so shaken up that she’d only mumble in French that Maya took it upon herself to learn it, just so she’d know what was troubling her partner, that she’d know just what to say during those nights- nights that would always go unspoken of the next day.
Ma Maya.
Claudine’s.
Hers.
Finally having her feet work again, she goes to the blonde.
Maya has never lost, not to Karen and Hikari, not to anyone at all.
She never lost.
Not when the crying blonde in front of her makes her feel as if she’s on top of the world more than anything else.
She’d always thought that the stage is her life- what gives her life but it’s with Claudine that she actually feels alive more than anything else.
The first day they met.
The first time she danced with her.
The many practices they had.
Their banters.
The first time she fell asleep next to her.
The words they pour out to each other late at night.
The soft touch of the blonde on her skin.
It’s all of those and so many others, even the little things, it’s all of those that lit the fire inside her that she once thought have dimmed.
And it’s all because of the blonde.
So she tells her to get up and holds out her hand just like the blonde did when they first met, she tells her that she hasn’t lost and that-
“With you I can always go even further and higher.”
Because it’s true, she have always felt stuck, that this role she was given since she was a child would always be the only thing she’ll play and she’ll do just that. She embedded that to her mind but someone came and knocked down all of those that let her see that she’s still able to reach greater heights.
That she can break out of this role.
That she can shine even brighter with her.
Because all this time she thought that it’s due to her name that got her this shine because it’s that name that she has to have that shine.
And with her partner that she’s come to realize that she have always shined, that she have always had that no matter what her circumstances in life may be; for the blonde have pushed her through her limits that she’s able to know how much she can achieve.
(What more when they’re together.)
Her lilac eyes meets ruby ones, and she feels it again, that spark, that exhilarating feeling she get when she's on stage with her, the electricity for when they touch and how it burns so so good, the explosion of many colors that’s blanketing her world now, she sees it glimmer, the shine despite the tears, that-
“You’re cute even when you cry my Claudine.”
And when she hears the playful tone back in her voice as she calls her annoying, Maya wants nothing more than to finally press her lips against her but she has to keep in mind with those around her still.
She’s grateful that their exchange was incomprehensible to their friends, for it was too intimate, too special to have shared with them.
It was a confession.
When she feels soft hand finally grasps her, and she sees the blonde standing tall again with that smile on her face again, a smile that Maya wants to be the reason for, she can’t help but feel she was the one who won.