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Soren couldn't remember exactly when it started, but that hot curling feeling in his gut was undeniable.
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Maybe it was that one hot summers day, that always seemed to linger in the back of his mind during the most inopportune of moments. Soren was sparring the other soldiers in the courtyard, his mind focused on moving in the overwhelming heat, to the familiar beat of clanging metal. As he beat his opponent, again he smugly thought, he called a break for his men, chuckling lightly at the synchronized groans of relief echoing around him. He shucked off his armor, and pulled his thin shirt over his head to pour a flask of water over himself in attempt to fight off the sweltering warmth of the sun. With his head titled back, water dripping from the tips of his hair, he looked up meaning to admire the clear sky.
Instead, his gaze caught on a familiar green-eyed one, watching him through the library window. Soren stood, stuck in his position by some unnameable force as he fell pray to Callum's appraisal. Hooded olive eyes watched him, sweeping over his bare torso and sun-kissed skin in a lazed fashion. Then for an impossibly long moment, the two made eye contact. Soft, dark eyes bored into his, and Soren felt himself inhale sharply, breath caught in his throat. Soren searched for meaning, or emotion in the gaze, but came up short as he fell victim to the long, hidden stare.Then Callum turned away, and it was if nothing had happened. And Soren followed suit, turning to his attention back to his soldiers, ignoring that lingering heat in his gut that had nothing to do with the Sun's hot rays.
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Sometimes Soren thinks it was that one game of hide and seek. Callum, Soren, and Claudia had agreed to a game with Ezran and his toad. Soren pitied the heir to the throne, the young boy seeming to have no friends but the three of them and the various animals he found around the castle. So although he thought they were all way too old or hide-and-seek, he joined with no more than a soft groan. It was Claudia's turn to seek, and everyone shivered slightly at the prospect. Soren wandered into the oldest, shut off wing of the castle, confident that Claudia wouldn't find him this far away. The wing of the castle was overly large, and looked out at the nearby forest. It was getting late and the sun was beginning to set, moving slowly below the line of trees in the distance. A warm orange light was cast over the dusty carpet in front of him, the thin rays of light streaming in through the large windows on either side of him. Slowly, he walked towards one of them, a hand pressed against the cooling glass as he admired the land of Katolis.
He stood there for less than a second before a small, warm hand grabbed his wrist and forced him down the long corridor, into a small nook at the end of the corridor, before it led into a large room ahead of the two. Opening his mouth to voice his protest and confusion, he soon saw himself unable to speak as his mouth was being covered with a small hand, and his body being covered by a small figure. Callum shushed the older boy, his tone harsh but covering small giggles of glee that showed themselves through the bright green of his eyes. Soren stiffened under Callum's weight. The two boys were flush against each each other, Callum's lithe frame pushing lightly at Soren's larger one, with one hand on his chest and the other across his mouth. Callum had also slipped himself between Soren's legs, his small hips shifting lightly with the movement of one nervous, bouncing leg. The bouncing movement moved further up his body until silky dark hairs were brushing his cheek lightly. Soren knew if he moved his head slightly, he would be able to bury his nose in a soft bundle of hair that smelt of old books, and sweet tarts. He moved slightly, almost unwittingly, to cup a hand on the small hip and move himself closer to the warm body in the slowly cooling wing. Lost in the moment, he almost didn't notice the shadow wolves creeping up near the two until Callum let out a small shriek, and bolted out of the area, leaving Soren to the mercy of his sister's creations
He would later get his revenge on the step prince by overpowering him in training the next morning, however the satisfaction was lost in the dazed feeling he got from the image of the step-prince panting and blushed on the ground before him. (And no, he wouldn't admit to the hazy dream the next night filled with the soft gasps of a eerily familiar, lithe body that intoxicated him with the smell of old books and sweet tarts).
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All Soren knew was that he felt something different for the younger boy, but he knew better than to give the feeling a name, for his duty and loyalty to the kingdom had always come first. But as he sat on the courtyard bench, stuffing his face with jelly tarts and mulling over his father's kill order, he hesitated. He wondered if the two young princes deserved to die, if the kingdom would really be better off without out the two bright boys he grew up, with and eventually grew to Lo..
Shaking his head, Soren refused to continue that train of thought. That word was dangerous, and would get in the way of his mission. Looking up at the sky, his eyes once again caught on the library window, the absence of a familiar gaze causing an unpleasant coldness in his gut, as if something inside of him that was once full was now empty and barren. The last time he had seen those eyes was the eve of King Harrows death. The prince had marched up angrily to his father, shouting about eggs and secrets in an angered tone Soren had never heard before. He remembers the furious, spirited yet futile fight he had put up against the guards in an attempt to get to the King. He remembered the look of abject horror in those beautiful eyes, tear welling up as he angrily tried to speak but instead produced hushed tones. He remembered holding Callum's shoulder, prepared to throw the prince out of the way in order to protect him, not knowing that would be the one last time he would hold Callum in his grasp. And most of all he remembered looking up at the prince, and watching him run to his brother and the elfin maiden below, a sense of betrayal hot in his gut.
But Soren knew what needed to be done in order to protect his kingdom (he knew he was just following orders), and trusted his father (was his father really correct about this?). But most of all, he felt lucky to not have any untoward feelings for the targets, cause if he did he knew that this mission would have destroyed him, and haunt his dreams with a pair of green eyes and what could've been.