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You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I've tried to forget, get you out of my head, but the memories won't fade
I can run, I can hide, from this feeling inside
But the pain won't go away
'Cause Everytime I hear your name
The world stops for a moment
Baby, with a single word, I can see your face again
'Cause Everytime I hear your name
The world stops for a moment
And I'm taken back to what we had, Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I hear your name
Naruto turned the volume on his media player up when he recognized the text and started to sing along quietly. He kept walking down the same path along the river as usual, the familiar landscape making him feel nostalgic. Even more so when he distinctively saw somebody curled up in that person's spot underneath the lamppost just before the path split up.
Now I'm sure you've found a girl
To fill my empty space
But I'm stuck with the love that we shared, that time just can't erase
I've tried to forget, get you out of my head, but the memories won't fade
I can run, I can hide, from this feeling inside
But the pain won't go away
'Cause everytime I hear your name
The world stops for a moment
Baby, with a single word, I can see your face again
'Cause Everytime I hear your name
The world stops for a moment
And I'm taken back to what we had, Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I hear your name
Naruto turned his eyes away as the unbidden image of raven hair, onyx eyes and a smirk came to mind. He was gone, and would probably be for a very long time still. The blond realized that the song fit exactly to what he felt and let out a self-deprecating snort at the pang of pain. Every time anybody said that name, his world would stop spinning momentarily, his heart wrenching in agony and desperate hope. People had quickly learned not to say that person's name, due to the mental break downs he'd had. He didn't get them so easily anymore, but there still were occasions when he would break down and cry so hard he couldn't breathe. The doctors had said he had bipolar disorder and had prescribed some medication for him. It helped, most of the time. But occasionally it didn't.
...
Don't tell me to run away from this
'Cause you got the love I can't resist
How can I breathe, how should I feel?
Baby, whatcha do, whatcha do, whatcha do to me?
Makes me wanna be somebody I'm not
Everytime you do, whatcha do, whatcha do to me?
Take your chance boy, ready or not
Baby, whatcha do, whatcha do, whatcha do to me?
Makes me wanna be somebody I'm not
Everytime you do, whatcha do, whatcha do to me?
Take your chance boy,
Ready, ready or not!
Naruto quietly groaned. Why did all these songs have to remind him of him?
"Dobe. Wait."
"Fuck, no. Damn, I'm hearing voices again." The tanned youth racked a hand through his messy, sunshine blond hair with a grimace. Naruto glanced up from his feet and froze, blue eyes going wide in shock.
A smirk, lips stretched slightly upwards. Onyx eyes, like black pools in the already dark night. Raven colored hair, stuck up in the back in stubborn defiance against gravity. The media player fell from his numb fingers and the ear buds were jerked out, but he barely noticed it.
"Sasuke?" he whispered and the person in front of him tilted his head to the side.
"Hn. Has it been so long that you don't recognize me?"
Naruto's eyes narrowed into angry slits as he clenched his hands into fists.
"You fucking. Bastard!"
Sasuke winched when the doctor wrapped the bandage around his middle, tying it tightly.
"How is he?" Itachi asked from the door opening and Sasuke's eyes flickered up to meet those of his older brother's.
"Nothing too mayor, just some bruises. He'll be sore for a couple of weeks," the doctor sighed as she straightened and Sasuke experimentally moved, grimacing slightly at the sting of pain in his side.
"Thank you," Itachi nodded and the bubble gum haired woman nodded.
"You're welcome. And Sasuke?"
Sasuke looked up and impassively met the glare from emerald green eyes.
"If you ever do that to Naruto again, I'll personally beat you up," Sakura threatened before turning and walking out through the door, angrily stomping away to where she knew Naruto would be.
The blond was lying on a bed, staring up at the ceiling with dull eyes. He looked up when Sakura entered before letting his head fall back down onto the pillow.
"How are you feeling, Naruto?" Sakura asked and Naruto shrugged before sighing.
"Not especially well. I've been worse," he replied and Sakura took a seat on the bed beside him.
"What happened?" she asked and Naruto sat up with a soft groan, placing an elbow on his knee and leaning his head in his hand.
"I don't know. I thought I was just hearing voices but then it's actually the bastard in person. I missed my med this morning but all was well until I was on my way home. That's when I met him."
"He'll probably want to talk to you, you know," Sakura murmured and Naruto closed his eyes with another sigh.
"Yeah. I know."
"Can you handle that yourself?"
"I have to," the blond replied and now it was Sakura who sighed.
"Okay. Call me if something happens."
"Sure will," Naruto nodded then rose from the bed and walked over to the window. He curled up on the window sill, one leg swinging along the wall and the other propped up against his chest, his chin on top of his knee.
Sakura sighed as she closed the door behind her, leaning back against it for a moment. When she opened her eyes, she was met with the sight of Sasuke leaning against the wall opposite of the door. She shot him a glare before briskly walking away, her white doctor's coat flying out a little behind her. She stopped just by the corner and looked back, seeing how Sasuke knocked on the door.
Naruto glanced at the door then looked back out through the window.
"Come in," he called quietly and the door opened gently, being shut just as softly. "I suppose it's you, so no, I won't attack you again."
"Hn."
Naruto snorted, mirthlessly.
"Bastard."
"Why?"
"Why what?" Naruto annoyed turned to face him and his throat went dry, forcing him to swallow painfully when Sasuke met his eyes.
"Why did you 'attack' me?"
"Forgot my med this morning," Naruto replied dryly, blue eyes hard.
"What medication?" Sasuke shifted uneasily, still standing just by the door.
"Against bipolar disorder. Ultra-rapid cycling and full mania and everything."
Sasuke looked startled, his eyes showing surprise.
"What? You can't possibly have believed I would just forget you and move on," Naruto grumbled, annoyed, and Sasuke sighed.
"I did."
"Well, I didn't." Naruto turned back to the window but looked at Sasuke's reflection in the glass instead of the trees outside. The raven stared down at the floor, asking quietly,
"Why not?"
"Why what?" Naruto growled even though he had a good idea what the raven was asking.
"Why didn't you move on? I'm not worth waiting for."
Naruto stared at the image of his long lost love for a while before he sighed and shook his head.
"Why did you leave?"
"I had things to do, people to meet."
"And you didn't have time to say a fucking word. After being with me for five years. I know we had a bad communication but I never realized it was that bad."
"I'm sorry," Sasuke's voice was pained and Naruto closed his eyes, an unbidden smile stretching his lips for a split second before it vanished.
"Why did you come back?"
"You."
Naruto snapped around too fast, causing him to lose his balance and fall in a mass of flailing limbs from the windowsill. Dreading the hard landing, the blond braced himself but the impact was far too soft and noisy. Opening his eyes, the blond looked up into Sasuke's face with wonder. The raven gave him a sad half-smile, letting go as he scrambled out of his lap.
"Guess my reflexes when it comes to catching a certain moron still works."
Naruto rose quickly and moved away from him, seating himself on the bed. Sasuke got up with a sigh and leaned back against the wall opposite of the blond, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the floor.
"Did you talk to anyone before we met?"
"No." Sasuke shook his head and Naruto nodded.
"Okay. Then it makes some sense."
"What does?"
"Why you don't know about my disorder." Naruto grinned, but it was too wide and too bright to be real and Sasuke grimaced.
"Don't do that."
Naruto scowled at him. It was awkwardly silent for a long while, hard blue orbs fixed on evasive onyx staring at the floor before they snapped up abruptly, smoldering with frustration.
"What the hell happened then? I can't fix anything if I don't know what I've done!" Sasuke snapped and Naruto looked away. Why was it that his world always began falling apart at the stupidest moments?
"I thought it was my fault. That you left."
Sasuke sighed.
"Dobe-.."
"Shut up. Before anyone realized what was going on, I had already developed BD NOS. It's commonly known that no one's allowed to say your name if I'm within hearing distance. I can't handle it."
"Nar-.."
"Don't!" Naruto shot him an angry glare before looking away again and continuing, his words loud and hard, "You weren't here, you didn't see how I reacted! Sakura choose to take an extra curse in psychology besides medical school just to help me along! She went out of her way a lot for my sake, teme, and I never thought anyone would! Not when you fucking left!"
Naruto took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally calming down. That had felt good to get off his chest, he'd wanted to yell at the bastard for some time now. He warily looked over at the raven who'd went quiet and cerulean blue eyes widened. Sasuke had slid down to the floor, his arms resting gently on his bent knees. He had his head tilted back, eyes closed, but the tears slowly running from the corner of his eyes down over his cheeks were easy to see.
"Sa-Sasuke?" Naruto whispered, stuttering slightly from the shock to see the stoic Uchiha actually cry.
"I'm so fucking sorry," Sasuke whispered and Naruto rose from the bed, walking over to him and falling to his knees beside him. Sasuke met his gaze and the blond felt something tear in him at the pain in onyx orbs. He quickly pulled the raven into a hard hug, gripping onto him tightly.
Slender hands curled into the back of his shirt and pressed him closer, a shallow sigh leaving the one he finally had back in his arms.
"Naruto.. I came back.. because I missed you too much. I should have spoken to you, wrote, e-mailed.. but I couldn't. It hurt so much only to think about you and I didn't have time for hurting," Sasuke mumbled, keeping his eyes closed as he talked. "Aniki figured I was dangerously close to developing panic disorder because I think I got nine panic attacks within two weeks, so he forced me to go home. And it didn't take me long to figure that home was Konoha, and you."
"Well, teme, you just can't come back after more than three years and think things will be as before. I can't do that. Not to myself or you," Naruto answered, his voice final but gentle. He smiled wryly, leaning his head against Sasuke's to get a little bit more comfortable.
"I know. I'm not asking you to take me back, I'm asking for a second chance to win your heart," Sasuke replied, moving his arms around Naruto's waist and shifting so his knee weren't pressed down against the floor.
Naruto sighed. He knew they were already coming back to each other, since he could've curled up in the raven's arms right now and felt perfectly at ease.
"I can't trust you yet, Sasuke.." the blond man murmured worriedly and Sasuke nodded once in confirmation.
"I understand," he answered and Naruto knew that he did.
"Teme.. God, I missed you," he whimpered, his throat constricting painfully with tears and he clutched Sasuke tightly to himself. Sasuke almost lifted him up, pulling him into his lap instead and wrapping his arms around the blonde's lean body.
"It'll be all right, Naruto.. It'll be all right," the raven murmured, gently rocking him.
"How can this feel good, Sasuke? I'm scared and I still want to hit you, but I-.."
"Shh. It's fine, dobe. Don't think about it too much. We'll pull through. I know we will."
Naruto sighed, nuzzling into the embrace. He was.. content.
Sasuke was back.
They would be fine, in time.