Chapter Text
Karkat had never felt so fucking miserable in his entire life. Not that he had lived for very long but still, almost eight sweeps was quite some time.
Huddled together on the floor in his hive's rumpusblock, Karkat rocked gently from side to side, trying to relieve the hurt inside of him that threatened to smother him. He couldn't believe Sollux fucking said that. Bulgefondling nook whiffing fuckass!
Again, the short sentences flashed through his mind, so firmly stuck in his thinkpan that it was like reading them directly off the screen a-fucking-gain.
TA: KK, no one want2 you two
TA: ii need two work
TA: youre done wa2tiing my tiime riight?
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]
"Fuck," Karkat swore silently, banging his nugbone lightly against the wall behind him. Opening his glance nuggets, he looked up at the ceiling for a moment then he tipped to the side and curled together on the floor. Bringing his knees to his chest, Karkat wrapped his arms around them and exhaled shakily. He needed to get over it. It hurt too much, but he pitied the bipolar infuriating nubsucker too much for his own good and too much to stop too.
A sharp noise from the other side of the block a while later made him look up for a moment then he ignored it. His husktop had been pinging every now and then the past few days but he couldn't be bothered to answer, he actually didn't give a fuck at the moment. Sollux and everyone else could go fuck themselves.
Karkat ate some grubloaf and tuber paste a couple of hours later then, feeling a little bit better, he curled up in his chair and reluctantly logged in. Trollian was blinking like a strobe light on crack and what the hell has Sollux been doing to have had this much time to troll him?
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: KK?
TA: are you okay?
TA: KK?
TA: ….
TA: fuck KK iim 2orry
TA: ii gue22 you dont want to talk
TA: 2ee you
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: KK you there?
TA: 2eriou2ly forgiive me
TA: ii diidnt mean to be liike that ii wa2 ju2t really iinto the codiing
TA: KK come on
TA: ii saiid iim sorry
TA: no? no
TA: fiine be liike that then
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: karkat for fuck2 2ake
TA: iim really fucking 2orry
TA: KK?
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: allriight that2 iit
TA: iif you dont 2tart talkiing 2oon iim goiing two a22ume you dont fuckiing giive a damn
TA: ….
TA: fuck
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: damn iit KK!
TA: iim fuckiing worriied now
TA: iif you dont 2tart an2wering 2omeone 2oon iim comiing over
TA: two make 2ure you havent diied at least
TA: KK!
TA: come on an2wer
TA: plea2e?
TA: ….
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: that2 iit
TA: iim comiing over
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
"What the-" Karkat began, wide eyed as he stared at the screen. There was similar messages from the other trolls he knew too but only Sollux had threatened to come by. Not even his moirail had done that.
Wait a second. When was that last part trolled again?
"Shit," Karkat mumbled softly but he didn't have the time to actually check because then there was a loud knocking on the door to his hive.
"KARKAT! Come and open the fucking door or I thwear two gog I'll blatht it open!" Sollux shouted through it, his lisp obvious, and Karkat bolted over to the door and unlocked it, swinging it open. Sollux stared at him, glance nuggets alight as if he really was prepared to open the door with his psionic power. Karkat stared up at him for a moment then he cast his own gaze down and stepped out of the way, muttering,
"Don't stand there, fuckass. Get inside."
Sollux obeyed and stepped into his hive and Karkat closed the door and locked it again behind him. Walking around his friend who was watching him intently, Karkat stopped after a few paces and turned to look at Sollux, crossing his arms though it was mostly for self-reassurance than anything else.
"Actually, what are you doing here?" he asked and Sollux frowned at him, his double colored gaze worried.
"You haven't said a word to anyone for the patht five dayth, KK. Ith everthing really all right?" Sollux asked and Karkat shouldn't have found it so adorable to hear him lisp when his worry started shining through.
"I'm okay," he replied softly and Sollux stared at him.
"You know, KK, it kind of hurts to be lied to straight up in the face," Sollux said and that's it, you're like seconds away from flipping black for him instead of red and you can't stand it anymore.
"YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT HURTS TO BE TOLD NO ONE WANTS YOU AROUND AND THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING NUISANCE TOO!" Karkat screamed and suddenly the tears he had been unable to shed spilled over. He just hugged himself harder and ducked his head, lines of translucent red running down his cheeks, a drop finding its way to the tip of his sniffnode before it too fell.
Sollux stared at him, completely taken aback. His prongs moved as if he wanted to reach for Karkat but then he clenched them tight and held them still. Karkat knew Sollux could see how the sobs wrecked his body but fuck it, he didn't care anymore.
"Karkat, what ith wrong? Really?" Sollux then asked softly and Karkat shuddered, shaking his nugbone lightly. He didn't want to talk. Knowing Sollux, he would probably have to, though. "Come on, KK. Tell me," Sollux pleaded gently, taking a step closer and Karkat had the sudden urge to bury his face against the other troll's chest and wrap his arms around him and then ignore everything that was not related to Sollux. Fuck, he was so flushed for him it wasn't funny.
"I'm-.. I'm..." he started and Sollux nodded encouragingly and fuck, how is that even real? "It's nothing. I'm just tired," he finally choked, wrestling his sobbing into controlled small gasps, and Sollux slumped a bit, as if disappointed, and fuck if that didn't hurt too, just in a different way.
"Okay. Um, do you want me to thtick around or thhould I go back?" Sollux then actually asked and Karkat is too stunned to reply. "I guethh not. I'll thee you around, KK. Take care." Sollux words snapped him out of his stupor and he has wrapped his arms around Sollux and pressed his face against his back before he has thought it through. "Karkat?" Sollux asked, startled, and his prong fell from the door handle and hung limply by his side. Karkat thought he maybe heard hope in his voice too but that might just be his thinkpan playing tricks on him.
"Stay," he finally whispered in response and Sollux relaxed.
"Ath long ath you want me too. I'm thorry, Karkat. I really am," he said quietly and Karkat reluctantly let him go.
"I do need to talk to you," Karkat then admitted quietly and Sollux turned and looked at him, nodding.
"I need to talk to you too."
There was something in Karkat's glance nuggets that had him feeling as if the troll hoped for something he could not name. Then Karkat turned around and started walking towards the nutrition block. A little at loss for what to do, Sollux followed him. Karkat pointed at a chair and said,
"Sit. Do you want a drink?"
"Yeah." Sollux gave a slight nod, his blue and red gaze locked on Karkat who flushed a little as he retrieved two cylindrical items from the thermal hull, giving one to Sollux who opened it and sipped from it.
"You forgot your shades," Karkat pointed out, fiddling with his own drink idly, and Sollux scowled.
"I know. Dammit," he swore and Karkat smiled faintly, reaching up and wiping at his wet cheeks. His prong came away a translucent red.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Karkat then asked, wanting to keep Sollux in his hive for as long as possible. Sollux took a big gulp of his drink before he said,
"Redrom."
"What, you mean, like, pity? Flushed feelings?" Karkat asked as he leaned a hip against the counter and tried to not think about the chill twisting his insides.
"Yeah. I know you want to keep it to yourthelf tho thorry for bringing it up. There'th thith troll I pity, thee, and I want to tell them but I thort of don't want to too becauthe maybe he doethn't pity me and that would be really awkward." Sollux said and Karkat stared at him for a long while, lost in thoughts of dread and the ice pouring into his chest and being washed through his whole system. Sollux had flushed feelings for someone. That threw a wrench in the wheel.
"Just say it. To them I mean," Karkat finally said and Sollux gave him an exasperated glare, very easy to read with the lack of shades.
"I've tried. I can't. Bethideth, I don't want him to flip black for me. I think he maybe ith red for me two though. I really don't want to methh thingth up and fuck my lithp!" Sollux finally swore and Karkat was so surprised by the sudden outburst as Sollux never acknowledged his lisp directly that he snorted in shock before he started chuckling. "Oh, thhut up," Sollux grumbled, looking down, and Karkat shook his nugbone slightly in amusement. "Do you have fluthhed feelingth for anyone, KK?" Sollux then asked, sounding a little hesitant and Karkat sighed.
"... I should say it's private but.. Yeah, I do," the shorter troll said with a grimace and Sollux looked up abruptly.
"Really? Ithn't that good?"
"I-... it depends," Karkat stumbled slightly over his words, blushing suddenly. Sollux just nodded simply and Karkat stared at him. "Okay, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're not acting as usual," he asked and Sollux looked up briefly and Karkat was a bit surprised to see a dusting of mustard yellow over his cheeks that was adorable.
"It'th nothing, KK. I jutht have a lot to think about," the other troll finally answered and Karkat grumbled,
"Yeah, well, with your genius brain that shouldn't be a fucking problem. You always complain about things being too fucking simple for you to bother with."
Sollux stared at him, his mismatched glance nuggets thoughtful. Karkat blushed again, and swore quietly before he stomped over to a cabinet and retrieved a bowl filled with candy. Looking at Sollux and back down at the bowl, he then asked suspiciously,
"Will you go nuts if there's honey in the chocolate?"
"Dunno. Give me something without it in that case," Sollux shrugged and Karkat huffed then slammed the bowl down on the table and sat opposite of Sollux with angry, jerky movements. Right now, anger was what kept him from dwindling back into the misery he's felt for days. Fuck that too.
Sollux lisp had diminished, Karkat belatedly realized. Which meant he had calmed down. Good.
"You have candy red blood."
Karkat spluttered in indignant rage for a second then he bellowed,
"SO WHAT!?"
Sollux looked a little stunned then he scowled and said,
"Nothing, I wath jutht thating it ath a fact, numbthkull. It'th pretty."
-Holy fuck, did he just call me, no, my blood color, pretty?-
-Oh. Lisping too. What the fuck?-
-Hey, wait, he did not flip out? Shouldn't he be calling the drones or- huh?-
Stunned, Karkat opened and closed his talk blaster without saying anything then he snatched a candy from the bowl and unwrapped it, shoving it in and chewing angrily. Sollux watched him for a while, the yellow dusting fading from his cheeks slowly. Karkat was a bit sad to see it disappear. Sollux reached out and hesitantly took a candy from the bowl, unwrapping it and plopping the piece of chocolate into his squawk gaper.
"Thweet," he said softly and Karkat gave him a wary look.
"Tell me if you're going to flip your shit. I don't want to be vaporized."
"Thhut up," Sollux said, grimacing at him, and Karkat frowned at him.
They sat in silence for a long time, Karkat watching Sollux eat candy and sip from his drink. Said troll nearly choked on said liquid when Karkat finally gathered his wits about him and said in a quiet and soft murmur,
"I pity you."
"Say what?" Sollux spluttered, his glance nuggets open wide in astonishment, and Karkat blushed.
"You heard me, you fucking nubsucker. I said that I'm flushed for you."
Sollux stared at the troll for a long time then he suddenly blushed an intensive mustard yellow, burying his nugbone in his arms and whimpering something sounding like,
"Oh, fuck it."
"Uhm, Sollux?" Karkat asked after a few moments of silence and the troll grunted unhappily. "Could you at least afford me a fucking answer, you dimwit!" he growled threateningly, a dark clicking sound sneaking into his voice, and Sollux's freaking hearing devices turned a faint yellow.
"..." Sollux mumbled something that was completely lost on Karkat who scowled and snapped,
"Speak up so I can hear you!"
"I THAID I'M FUCKING FLUTHHED FOR YOU TWO!" Sollux screamed as he lifted his nugbone from his arms to glare at Karkat who winced at the sheer volume of his voice. Then what the troll had screamed had sunk into his thinkpan and he had stared at Sollux as a faint rosy blush heated his cheeks.
"You are?" Karkat asked and Sollux sighed.
"Yeah. I've been pitying you for about a thweep," Sollux replied, still blushing brightly, and Karkat stared at him, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn't find any or the correct words.
Sollux was about to look away when Karkat practically hurled himself over the table and crashed right into him. Sollux barely had the time to use his psionic power to catch them before both of them crashed to the floor and got thoroughly injured. Sollux opened his talk blaster to scold Karkat, loudly, but then the smaller troll's lips were pressed against Sollux's own and-.. oh.
Karkat had to admit he had been relieved when Sollux caught them because he hadn't thought what he was doing through before he moved. But now, with his lips pressed against Sollux's and his prongs caught in soft black hair, it seems just as much a brilliant idea as it did before he very nearly knocked them both senseless. Sollux didn't seem to mind especially much either as he's occupied with kissing back just as fervently, his arms tight around Karkat.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, you're tho thupid, KK. What if I hadn't caught uth?" Sollux then muttered as he pressed tiny kisses against the underside of Karkat's jaw. Chirping in a placating manner, Karkat nuzzled Sollux's hair, closer and closer to his horns until he was rubbing his sniffnode against one of them in soft nudges that had Sollux chirring brightly. Gently shifting his hands, Karkat stroked his fingertips over Sollux's other horns without really thinking of it.
Sollux was aggressively attacking his neck with kisses and sucks and occasional nips that made Karkat yelp before he laughed, sounding incredibly pleased which just made Sollux do it again and again.
"Flushed for you," Sollux murmured breathlessly into Karkat's neck and the smaller troll smiled affectionately.
"Flushed for you too."