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Despite hosting a majority of the planning talks, being an invited guest to the state’s official send off, the actuality of Runaan and Rayla’s departure had never quite hit him. It was always a known thing that had to occur at some point, but now, watching Runaan binding up his own supplies, Valur was left shaken.
Surely Rayla would understand if her sausage and bread cakes were fairly burnt. Valur couldn’t feel his own body, he couldn’t take his eyes off Runaan.
The trance was broken when Rayla’s steady breaths took on a quieter, more drawn out pattern. Valur tore himself from watching Runaan through the window to extinguish the stove fire and plate his cookings. He made sure to drop Rayla’s plate with a bit more force than necessary, and stifled a laugh at the little elf’s jolt to the land of the awake.
Rayla picked at her bread cakes with little interest from a combination of nerves and weariness. Valur’s heart went out to the child, years of waking up before sunrise never became easier.
The quiet that Valur didn’t dare break, content with the lowly buzz of Rayla eating, drew out with the gentle scrape of the front door opening adding to the mix. The world seemed too scared to make any sound louder.
One confident step in, Runaan faltered on the second one. He caught himself in the doorway. Surprised, not at Rayla slumped at the table, but at the smell of hot food and Valur being the one to make it.
Runaan thought they could sneak away before Valur awoke.
Still without words, Valur placed a second plate of sausage and bread cakes on the table, a clear gesture for Runaan to join him and Rayla. Runaan, of course, complied.
He seemed to be sitting on his hands, figuratively. Every movement was stilted and Runaan failed to make any contact with either of the table’s occupants.
“We’re going to Vitskar today, the Andrian Ridge at most.”
Gone now was the hope that this morning could be treated just the same as any leaving of the home.
“You’re goin’ to fit that all in one day?”
“We were hoping, yes.”
“And you were goin’ to do this all while skipping breakfast?”
Valur couldn’t keep the joking smile off his face.
“I was bringin’ up the same thing!” Rayla chimed in.
The little elf had forgone all lasting sleepiness and was now shoveling food into her mouth. Runaan looked on at her fondly. Valur looked at his untouched plate.
“Do you want some for the road?”
Runaan, sensing Valur’s meaning took up his utensils, if only to please the briming mother hen.
“We have enough rations to last us until we reach Monirl. And we’ve arranged for supplies at Kettol.”
“Yeah, but do you want something home cooked?”
Runaan smiled, though not without some exasperation. Rayla took it upon herself to get up for a second plate. With that, tension bled out of the family and usual breakfast banter took its place. Despite this, Valur could sense Runaan’s lingering awkwardness. His mind going back to and from the topic of their soon trip into Katolis. Positive conversation in harsh times had never been the elf’s strong suit. An odd thing that Valur found himself endeared to.
Valur found Runaan’s gaze falling towards the window during a lull in conversation. Valur followed it and saw the ink black of the sky taking on a purple shade. The first signs of the sun’s existence. The first sign of Runaan and Rayla’s departure.
Most of the morning had consisted of silence, then it was companionable and welcome, now it was suffocating.
Runaan had left Rayla to take a quick circuit around the house under the guise of reminding her of anything she could have forgotten, but in truth, it was a chance to take a few more minutes in the home that she won’t see for sometime. Runaan returned to their supplies piled out on the front lawn. Leaving the discarded plates and utensils in the sink and on the table, Valur went out. Securing himself in the doorway, he watched Runaan, for the thousandth time, unpack and repack.
Neither of them said anything, but they still found themselves drawn to and facing each other. Valur dared himself to meet Runaan’s eyes, but he only reached the woven pendant that rested in between Runaan’s collarbones. Somehow that was worse.
Around them the night sky shone brighter and the lanterns lining the streets and in the yards of the homes around theirs, no longer needed to be lit. The stars were falling away. Valur found himself wishing he could fall away from this moment too.
“About Rayla-”
“I have all the confidence in Xadia, all the confidence of the world in her. She will do you proud and all of our people proud.” Runaan was quick to state.
“I agree with you, I know she will. You both will,” Valur smiled, albeit sadly, “I just want you to remember, even if Rayla is the best of you-”
“She is and I have no doubts of her abilities.” The interruptions wore Valur’s patience thin.
“Despite all, Rayla is still a child in stature and mind, please do not forget. Don’t make her grow up to quickly.” Valur hit Runaan with a pleading look, one that was returned with an added sorrow.
Both of them knew that the loss of innocence was guaranteed one way or another. Even the planning of the assassination under the family roof assured that.
The rational voice in the back of Valur’s head yelled at him that he’d failed as a parent, as a lover.
Any further concern was halted by a widening of Runaan’s eyes and a soft smile. Valur’s confusion only lasted as long as it took Rayla to fly down the stairs and launch herself at Valur. Runaan backed away, back to their travel belongings, to let Valur focus his time on the small elf wrapped around his waist.
In the grasp of Rayla’s arms, Valur made the effort to turn to face her and hug her in turn. Valur held the small hope that he could keep Rayla here by just refusing to let her go. That wish vanished with the broad smile split across Rayla’s face. Nerves forgotten and replaced with excitement. Valur knew now that any chance of Rayla changing her mind or anyone asking her to would be met with her characteristic stubbornness and need to impress. Yesterday, Valur saw those as endearing, but today he only saw them as things that would take his family away.
“Oh little one,” he started, “You will do so much good. We are already so proud.” If Rayla was in anyway put off by Valur’s sudden affection, she didn’t show it. Valur bent into the embrace fuller, pulled more of Rayla into his arms.
“You don’t got to say it so much,” Rayla’s voice held some embarrassment at the sweet words from a usually temperate elf. In the back of his mind Valur knew he was overbearing, but he let himself have just a few more moments, a few more kisses, a few more squeezes to make up for the time lost throughout the planning and enactment process. The sky brightening was the one thing signalling for him to let Rayla go, Runaan was content to let the two be. With a final fond look, Valur took his arms from Rayla. He stepped away and let her run around him to take up her and Runaan’s travel packs.
Rayla nearly bounced with energy, Runaan taking the customary patience as she tried to shoulder all of their packs herself. Letting her have her fun, Runaan made his way to Valur, which he recognized as possibly the last time that he would be able to do so.
Valur wound his and Runaan’s fingers together as soon as he was able to. This was the only formal goodbye that Valur would get, experience told so. With a gentle squeeze, Runaan was off again, now making his way to the edge of their yard. He took a few bags off of Rayla as he went.
“There you go now,” Valur spoke up. Rayla turned back to the home, offering it and Valur a full armed wave.
“You have fun now.”
“We will!”
“Come back,” this was said mostly to himself. That didn’t stop the suspicion that Runaan had somehow heard him when their eyes met across the distance as Runaan blew out their candled light post.
Valur didn’t watch them walk out into the lightening landscape. He couldn’t watch his family heading away.