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“Hanahaki disease is a rare medical condition caused by strong feelings of unrequited love, and can only be cured by returned feelings, surgery - which will cause loss of romantic feelings for that person - or death. The love does not have to be unrequited for this disease to occur.”
Shouta hates it, he hates having to duck behind cars and vomit up bright red petals. He hates coughing into tissues and burning them as soon as he can. He hates the constant burning in his lungs, the pain in his chest, the ache in his neck. But more than anything, he hates how it gets worse the closer he gets to Hizashi. He hates not being able to touch him without his throat constricting and petals spilling out his lips. His heart squeezes painfully whenever Hizashi gives him that smile, and he knows it's useless. He's never going to get better.
Hizashi is so oblivious, and when Shouta ducks out of yet another class, coughing violently, Hizashi frowns, worry etched in his features.
“He needs to get that checked out.” Hizashi mumbles to Tensei, and Tensei looks at him for a second, before shaking his head and writing some notes. “He's had that cough since the beginning of the year.” Hizashi comments, worry in his voice, and Tensei sighs. Hizashi tries to pretend it's because they are such good friends, but honestly this stupid crush on Shouta has got him so badly.
“Why don't you just talk to him instead?” Tensei whispers, still staring at the board, trying not to miss anything of the class. “If you haven't noticed, he barely speaks to me.” Tensei pauses, looking at Hizashi. “Or anyone except you really.” Tensei finishes, tapping his pen against the desk. It's true, Hizashi realises, but he doesn't want Shouta to push him away if he tries to help. But if he is genuinely ill, then he needs to do something. Hizashi nods, mostly to himself, and then stands, apologising to the teacher and excusing himself.
He finds Shouta pretty quickly, the sounds aren't quiet, and there is only two bathrooms on this floor. He pauses outside the door for a few seconds, and can hear Shouta vomiting. He sighs, honestly worried that Shouta may be dying.
“Shouta?” Hizashi calls out, and he hears a cubicle door slam shut. He steps inside, peeking around the door, but he can't see anyone. “Shouta, I could hear you.”
“Go away ‘Zashi.” Shouta groans, before vomiting loudly again. Hizashi frowns, and knocks on the cubicle door. His worry is only getting more desperate the longer Shouta avoids him.
“I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on. You've had that cough since the beginning of the year, and you seem to have been vomiting for months.” Hizashi states, leaning against the cubicle door. He hears Shouta cough, a little more gently this time, and the door creaks open. Shouta is knelt in front of the toilet, and when the door is fully open, Hizashi realises the bowl is full of flower petals.
“I have Hanahaki.” Shouta mutters, before making a weird noise in the back of his throat, and vomiting into the toilet. Hizashi is appalled at the sight of petals and blood pouring out of his best friend's mouth, and immediately leans forward to scoop Shouta’s hair out of the way. He doesn't let himself acknowledge the fact that his chest is pressed into Shouta’s back. Shouta vomits three more times, a seemingly unending amount of petals falling out of his mouth, before sitting up and wiping his mouth. He looks exhausted, and Hizashi wants nothing more than to wrap him up in blankets and take him away from here.
“Hanahaki?” Hizashi whispers, pushing Shouta’s fringe off of his sweating forehead. Shouta nods, and looks at the floor, ashamed. Hizashi tries to pull him in for a hug, but Shouta pulls away, gagging, holding up a finger to Hizashi. Hizashi holds his hair again as he vomits twice more, and then slumps back. Hizashi heart hurts, knowing that Shouta is obviously in love with someone who isn't him.
“I'll be okay now for like, a couple hours.” Shouta mumbles, wiping his mouth. Hizashi notices the blood smeared on Shouta’s bottom lip, heartbeat spiking at the sight of his best friend's blood. He doesn't mention it.
“How long?” Hizashi asks, sitting down just outside the door, keeping it open with his knee. Shouta grimaces, coughing gently, but no more petals appear.
“Since the beginning of this year. Started about 2 weeks after I transferred.” Shouta says, eyes downcast. Hizashi’s heart squeezes, realising that he hasn't had a chance this whole time. Hizashi wonders who the person is, but instead pulls Shouta to his chest and strokes his hair.
“You should've told me, I want to help.” Hizashi whispers, ignoring the tears forming at the corner of his eyes. He will get Shouta with the person he loves, even if his heart gives out while he's doing it. Shouta sniffles a little, and leans into Hizashi’s chest.
“I didn't even know it was a thing, and I thought I was going insane.” Shouta is so quiet, that if Hizashi’s ear wasn't pressed into the top of Shouta’s skull, he doesn't think he would hear him. “And I was just waking up covered in blood and petals, thinking I was having hallucinations or something.” Hizashi realises Shouta is shaking. He hasn't told anyone, Hizashi suddenly clicks, and he strokes his back gently. “And then I start searching all these Internet websites, and the first thing that comes up? Hanahaki.” Shouta makes a weird sobbing sound, and Hizashi wants to cry. “Apparently extremely rare.” Shouta comments, and Hizashi gets what he is trying to say. Extremely rare, but not rare enough for it to skip me out.
“How do you get rid of it?” Hizashi asks, already knowing the answer. He has heard of the disease from the old stories that his grandma used to read him, but he doesn't really know the true specifics. It always sounded so much more romantic than this in the fairytales. Hizashi wouldn't wish this on anyone. Shouta snuffles again.
“It's basically, the feelings are returned, I get surgery, or I die.” Shouta mumbles, and Hizashi freezes. It's that serious, he thinks, brain trying to catch up. They definitely didn't mention that in the fairytales.
“Die?” Hizashi repeats shakily, and Shouta finally sits up, pulling out of Hizashi’s hold and slumping back against the graffitied wall.
“I'm probably going to get the surgery, when I've saved up.” Shouta whispers, and Hizashi is horrified to see tears in Shouta’s eyes.
“No!’ Hizashi yells out suddenly, cringing as his voice echoes around the tiled room. Shouta grimaces, but doesn't say anything. “We can fix it, tell me who it is, and I can get you two t-” His voice hitches as he says it, and he curses himself. “Together.” Shouta is giving him a weird look, and Hizashi swallows heavily.
“I don't think it's that simple.” Shouta says carefully, keeping his gaze neutral. Hizashi runs a hand through his own hair, frowning. “I'm not the easiest person to get along with.”
“That isn't true.” Hizashi immediately protests, ignoring the dread in his stomach. He's really doing this, he thinks, he is really trying to set up the guy he really truly likes, with someone else. Hizashi pushes down the thoughts, telling himself not to be so selfish. Shouta is more important than you, his brain reminds him, and Hizashi can't disagree. “You are an amazing guy, and honestly, they would be lucky to have you. Just because you are quiet, doesn't mean you aren't hardworking, passionate a-and…” Hizashi trails off at the look on Shouta’s face, and looks down.
“You really think that?” Shouta mumbles, and tries to stand, Hizashi immediately rushes to help him up. Hizashi nods enthusiastically, and is glad when Shouta smiles for a moment, before coughing and a single petal spilling out of his lips. “Guess I've got to say something then.” Shouta murmurs, and Hizashi swallows heavily, trying to put on his brightest smile. He can tell it doesn't reach his eyes, so instead he guides Shouta to the sink, and grabs some hand towels to wipe the blood from his mouth.
“You will do great, I'm sure.” Hizashi says, trying to inflict some positivity into his voice. It sounds false to him, and Shouta raises an eyebrow.
“Let's hope you still think that.” Shouta whispers, and Hizashi is about to ask what he means, when suddenly chapped lips are on his. Hizashi freezes, brain stuttering, and Shouta pulls away after a couple of seconds, obviously jumping to a conclusion that Hizashi hasn't even thought of. Shouta shrugs. He likes me back, Hizashi’s brain is screaming, but all he can do is stand there, looking stunned.
“I'm going to book my surgery in for the summer holidays.” He mumbles, turning to walk away. Hizashi grabs his arm, and Shouta grimaces, coughing another petal up. Hizashi pulls him close, shaking his head.
“Don't do that…” Hizashi murmurs, “I think I have a cure.” Shouta opens his mouth to speak, and Hizashi surges forward, kissing the shorter boy as calmly as he can manage in the current situation. Shouta’s brain obviously works better than Hizashi’s, because within seconds Shouta is kissing back, hands snaking into Hizashi’s hair. They kiss for what feels like hours, tongues entangling, before Shouta pulls away gasping.
“Are you…?” Shouta asks vaguely, and Hizashi blushes. He knows what he is trying to ask.
“I've had the biggest crush on you since I met you, and it just hasn't gone away. Everytime I see you my heart does this…” he squeezes his fist, showing Shouta what it feels like. Shouta tucks a strand of Hizashi’s hair out of his face, and tilts his head.
“Two weeks after I transferred, you won me that stupid cat plushie from the crane machine.” Shouta says quietly, keeping a level gaze. “I have been trying to ignore it since then, but it's hard when you can't stop vomiting petals.” Shouta tries to make a joke, but his voice cracks. Hizashi wraps his arms around Shouta and pulls him close. He doesn't resist.
“So.” Hizashi says gently, chin resting on Shouta’s head.
“So.” Shouta replies, voice rough. Hizashi smiles gently, pressing a kiss on the top of Shouta’s head.
“I think I love you.” Hizashi gets out, voice wobbling, and Shouta’s body heaves, like it did when he was vomiting, and for a second Hizashi is terrified he's got it all wrong, but then Shouta sobs, pressing his face into Hizashi’s shoulder.
“Oh God, I love you too.” Shouta manages between sobs, and Hizashi doesn't let go of him, even when the bell rings, signalling end of class. Eventually Shouta pulls away, wiping his face roughly, and swallows.
“Is it finally over?” Shouta whispers, a look in his eyes that makes Hizashi’s lungs stop working.
“Yes, Sho. It's over.”