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Peggy rolled over, reaching for Steve but stopped short when she found his pillow empty and his side of the sheets rumpled. “Steve?” Her voice was sleep-drunk and she blinked repeatedly to try to get her eyes to open enough to go looking for him. She hadn’t felt this groggy since she’d awakened from the thaw after she and Steve were found together on the Valkyrie.
The past weeks had had an adverse affect on Steve’s already unusual sleep patterns. His slumber had become more and more unpredictable since they’d found Bucky alive. She had lost count of how many times she’d found him poring over SHIELD/HYDRA files, or pacing in front of their picture window, looking distractedly out toward the horizon.
It was just within the past three nights that it seems he’d taken to sleepwalking. She hadn’t found it cause for alarm, yet. Apparently Steve would get up, wander wherever it was that he’d go, and then find his way back to their bedroom before she’d wake. The difference tonight was that she was awakened before he returned, instead of just in time to see him standing in their doorway, looking across the space with a concerned, uncertain countenance.
Peggy pulled the sash of her robe tighter around her waist and stepped into her slippers, making her way toward the patio door. It seemed only logical to first check nearby and then fan out. There was no sense in panicking, after all, he was a grown man.
“Steve?” Peggy called out again through the open double-doors. Her voice was coming ‘round now and she could see well enough to know the patio was empty and she’d only just begun her search. “Think, Peggy. Where might this take him?”
She wandered past the spare bedroom then doubled back after reconsidering it as an option. Peering inside, she wasn’t surprised that she found the bed made up as usual, and the room was empty. Ready for Barnes, if they could find him and convince him to come back.
She’d always been fond of James. Talking sense into Steve in a burnt out tavern wasn’t easy when she’d been grieving too, but it had been important. More important than her own feelings. They needed him. Steve and his grief had been needed to take the fight to Schmidt and obliterate HYDRA.
At least, when they’d awoken in the twenty-first century, they’d both thought HYDRA was obsolete. It was quite a blow finding out that the organization that she’d conceptualized and that Howard had built in their memory was built on a foundation tainted by HYDRA. Worse, that they had found, tortured, and were using James. Of course Steve would have trouble sleeping. Even she was having restless nights.
Peggy tiptoed into the kitchen and that was when she saw that the door to their apartment was ajar. “Oh, Steve,” she sighed, moving toward the opening.
“Steve, where on earth?” Where would he go? Peggy desperately wanted to hold onto logic, nothing terrified her more than thinking this was anything but sleepwalking. So much pain and guilt racked Steve’s conscience. She didn’t think twice as she took the stairs, two at a time, to the roof.
She couldn’t muster enough patience to collect herself once she reached the top. She pushed the roof-access door open with a loud clang, and two heads swung to look at her, tandem perfection under the soft patio lighting, and she was momentarily transported back to 1943.
In her distraction, Peggy bumped against a table causing further unintended ruckus.
“Peg, are you okay?” Steve’s voice helped ground her in the ‘now’.
“Oh, yes. Of course, I was just — Barnes?” She hesitated, looking between their two concerned faces and back. “Is it really you?”
“Ma’am,” he rushed to his feet as she approached, ever the gentleman.
“Steve?” Peggy steadied herself, bracing both hands on the back of the nearest chair. “What on earth is going on?”
“Don’t blame Steve, Ma’am. I came here — I asked him to keep things quiet — I was going to —”
She put a hand out, to stop him, or for proof that she wasn’t hallucinating, perhaps both. “I’ll have none of that ‘Ma’am’ business—James, is it really you?” she wasn’t yet convinced she wasn’t hallucinating. Maybe she was the one who was sleepwalking.
“Yeah, Peggs. It’s me.” James motioned for her to sit and eased into the seat across from her when she did.
“Oh for heaven’s sake.” Peggy leaned forward, looking a long-haired version of the Sergeant Barnes she knew straight in the cool blue eyes, “Why would you want to hide from me?”
“In his defense, Peggy, he was hiding from both of us.”
“You know, just putting out feelers, trying to see if this was a safe place to come in from the cold. Steve, here, saw me. He’s been very vigilant in making sure I’m well nourished.”
Peggy rested her hands on her knees, tempted to reach across the space and touch him again. “You should know you’re safe here with us.”
“I didn’t know that Peggy, I took a chance hiding out here at all. But yeah, now I know. Steve’s vigilance didn’t stop at food. I just don’t want to cause you any more trouble.”
Peggy looked from James’ furrowed brow to the exuberance that bubbled under the surface of Steve’s countenance. “You are safe and that’s worth untold amounts of trouble. Now, where are you staying?”
“Here and there. Most recently —” Bucky patted the cushion that he and Steve sat upon — ”here.”
“Well, if you’re not opposed to sleeping indoors,” Peggy offered, looking between the two again, watching Steve’s barely controlled features closest of all. “We have a perfectly good bedroom going to waste.”
“I’d hate to impose,” Bucky answered, not meeting her eyes.
“Buck,” Steve said gently but without a hint of a straight face. “It’ll be fun — all you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash. Come on.”
“Let me show you to your room, leave this one to think about his sense of humor.”
“It’s not my sense of humor,” Steve said, biting his cheeks to keep from grinning.
“I haven’t said yes, yet.” Poor James looked just this side of spooked.
“Of course, you are welcome to say no. But shouldn’t you see the room first?”
“How about,” Bucky started. He took Peggy’s hand between his. The solidity of his metal hand beneath a soft leather glove was an interesting sensation, and pulled a frown from her at the horror she hadn’t fully realized. “What would you say if I peek inside and see what you have to offer while you and Steve talk and make sure it’s really a good idea.”
“Buck — you won’t disappear —”
“Steve, if you want me to stick around, you might want to think about boundaries.”
“Oh?” Steve paused, then with a knowing smile and nod let out another “Oh. Okay, I see how you are.”
Peggy couldn’t help but smile herself at the nonsense between the two. It was warm and familiar, even though they were both clearly different. It was really the first time Peggy realized that Steve had definitely changed after waking in the new century. She probably was too — she hadn’t given it much consideration outside of the required psychological profiling they’d endured in those first months.
James released Peggy’s hand slowly before standing up and backing away with a hand on his chest and a charming smile. “I promise.”
“It’s the empty room, first on the left. You already know the unit number.” Steve called after James as he disappeared through the door. “I’m so sorry if we woke you Peggy.”
“I woke up, but I thought — Steve — I thought you’d been sleepwalking.”
“Aw, no, Pegs. I — I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I wanted to tell you. It’s tough keeping conflicting promises.”
“Steve,” Peggy leaned forward, putting her hands on Steve’s knees. “I was concerned, but not upset. How is he, really?”
“He’s probably struggling more than he’s letting on, but he’s — I think he’s going to be okay, Pegs.”
“Will you? Be okay — if he doesn’t stay?”
“I will.” He looked determined, yet she could see that he was being truthful.
“I won’t ask you to betray any confidences, but can you tell me, now that I know he’s here, when did you find out? How?”
“The other night. All the files started to blur into one and I couldn’t seem to draw anything either, so I came up here. I was just wandering absentmindedly, sketchbook in hand. I turned the lights on and scared the crap out of both of us in the process. He was crouched with a knife and I was standing there in shorts and my undershirt armed with a pen and a soft-cover book.” He chuckled as he spoke.
“He was encamped here and you snuck up on him?” Peggy lightly teased Steve with the straightest face she could muster. “A trained assassin?”
“I’m not exactly chopped liver, Peg.”
Peggy let out a soft breath of air, this man was exasperating, but she loved him. “I know that,” she said, gently squeezing Steve’s knees. He covered her hands with his and leaned in close, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Peggy, of all the things we’ve been through, all of the impossibility, the three of us are here, now. Isn’t that —” Warm air surrounded her as he let out a sigh. His sigh was a sweet sound, nowhere near the plaintive sounds she’d become accustomed to hearing at random.
“I know.” Peggy sat back, adjusting as the cool night air enveloped her, replacing the warmth of his nearness. “This could be a rough path, Steve.”
“Of course. I know, nothing’s guaranteed, but I feel — lighter — Peggy.”
“Maybe you’re right. I like to think you’re right.” Peggy moved across the space to sit in Steve’s lap. He wrapped his arm around her, hugging her close. “Whatever’s around the bend, just please, let it be good.”
“Shh,” Steve whispered, putting a finger to his lips. “Maybe we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves.”
She smiled and turned her face into the warm softness of his neck, peppering kisses along his throat. “Steve, we deserve to have a little optimism.”
Steve hummed his agreement and she pressed her cheek against the vibration.
The soft cough signaling James’ return brought a smile to Peggy’s lips and she felt the rumble of Steve’s chuckle before sitting back slowly and turning to see James standing in a mock parade rest position; arms behind his back, rocking a bit on the balls of his feet, instead of balanced on the heels and balls. She bit her cheek to keep her giggle in.
“Yes, sergeant?” She was pleased with her tone, sharp with just a hint of humor blunting the edges. Her own posture suffered due to the fact that she was still balancing on Steve’s knee and he wasn’t helping with his fingers tickling her ribs.
Steve’s face was alight with a smile she’d almost given up on ever seeing again. She hesitated to ask if James found the accommodations adequate, for fear of losing that great grin.
“Well?” Steve beat her to it, lightness in his tone, ease on his face. She could tell that he wasn’t going to evoke a single hint of pressure if he could help it.
“Well, it’s indoors. It looks like there’s plenty of room. Are you sure you want an interloper?”
“No,” Peggy said. “We absolutely do not want any interlopers, but we definitely want you if you’re up for it.”
“Steve?”
< — >
Peggy stifled a yawn. She’d practically fallen asleep in the warmth of Steve’s body heat, tucked up under his arm as they sat under the night sky. She’d been lulled by the quiet conversation he and James had been engaged in. They’d long since passed house rules (at James’ insistence) and were either lamenting the state of the world or waxing nostalgic about the changes in the neighborhood.
“If you two don’t mind,” Peggy moved to sit up, watching as they both shot to their feet. “Relax fellas, I think I’m going to leave you to whatever it was that I interrupted earlier. Good night.”
Steve gave her a hand up and kissed her softly on the forehead, his smile wasn’t to be contained even through the brief buss. “You sure you don’t want me to come tuck you in?”
“You’re free to do as you please. I just thought it might please you more, just now, to welcome James home.” Peggy turned and rested a hand on James’ arm. “Welcome home, Bucky.”
“Peggy.” Bucky’s smile was a more practiced expression, delicate in its presentation, but it was there; endearing as always. “Thank you.”
The gentle kiss he pressed to her knuckles gave her gooseflesh. She could only imagine the extent of the emotion sequestered behind those shimmering eyes.
“I think I might need to revise some of those house rules,” Steve said with a teasing grin. “You can’t go showing me up, Buck.”
“I think you might learn a trick or two,” Peggy responded, patting Steve’s cheek. “Pay attention.”