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Kyungsoo couldn’t believe his bad luck.
It’d been two years since Jongin and he broke up and he couldn’t recall any other moment in his life where he was such utterly devastated. He’d been his boyfriend since high school, but as soon as they finished university, Jongin decided it had been enough. Things went back to normal after some months, though, they stopped living together and Baekhyun -Kyungsoo's best friend- moved with him. The former became a pro-gamer (he’d never been fond of studying, anyway) and the latter majored in culinary arts.
Yeah, everything went back to normal… until Baekhyun decided to fuck everything up after crushing over Kim Jongin’s brother, Kim Minseok. And now he was locked in his ex-boyfriend’s room, trying to act as calm as possible while thinking of the thousand ways in which he’d torture his roommate.
“How did we even end up here?” Jongin mumbled.
“Baekhyun’s probably undressing your brother while we talk”, answered Kyungsoo, on the verge of mentally-collapsing, but still peace and quiet on the outside. “He’s been crushing on him for months now. This whole party thing was just his idea.”
“How could you let this happen?” Jongin suddenly confronted him with an angry face.
“Maybe because even though he’s an idiot, he was still the one who saved ME after YOU dumped me”, Kyungsoo snapped at him. “I know that this doesn’t please any of us, but I just had a really long and exhausting day”, his tone lowered down. “I can’t go back to my room ‘cause some idiots thought it was fun to lock us here, and I don’t think I can convince a horny Baekhyun to stop kissing the idiot of your brother and drive me home”. He sighed at his own words, the whole situation was already stressing enough to be arguing with Jongin, too. “So, can we just sleep pretending the other one doesn’t exist? If you hate me that much, I can even sleep on the floor.”
Jongin kept quiet throughout his monologue and stared at him with an unfathomable expression on his face. “I-I’m sorry”, he stuttered. “You can sleep on my bed, it’s not as if you hadn’t slept here for weeks even”, he added with what Kyungsoo then realized was a half-assed smile.
“Thanks, Nini- I mean, Jongin. Or Kai? I’ve heard your friends call you Kai now”.
“It’s okay, it’s still Nini for you”, he whispered without looking at him in the eyes while preparing his bed.
Kyungsoo kept standing still as he saw his ex-boyfriend moving all around the room with a rather nostalgic look on his face. He couldn’t help smiling while looking at him: he was as handsome as he recalled him to be. His face had matured, though, and he was much more muscular than when they were together. Couldn’t say he didn’t like it.
“What’s so funny?” asked Jongin when he noticed the eldest’s expression. Kyungsoo ignored his question and threw himself to the bed, grabbing a pillow and putting it on top of his head. Jongin smiled at the view and proceeded to lie on the other side.
Kyungsoo put the pillow aside when he felt the other boy’s presence and looked at him. “Hm, Jongin”, said to grab the other’s attention, “it is okay if I- “
“Yes, you can”, Jongin interrupted. “I still remember you only sleep with a shirt and underwear, so feel comfortable to take your pants off”.
Kyungsoo made a cute surprised expression but changed it as soon as he realized it and rapidly took off his jeans. He saw Nini taking his shirt off, showing how buffed he’d become these two years. When he noticed he had been staring for too long, he decided to act uninterested. “You don’t need to show your abs off to me, save it”.
“You know I sleep without my shirt on”, Jongin half-pouted, half-laughed. “Your thighs have gotten muscular and strong, too”, pointed the youngest. “I remember you used to wear size-skinny jeans”.
“Shut the fuck up”, replied Kyungsoo while tucking himself with the blanket, with his back facing him. He could feel his face bursting but Jongin was still his ex and the situation had been awkward enough for the both of them so he decided to end it. “Good night, Nini”.
A sad smile flickered across Jongin’s face.
“Soo.” He whispered. The other felt chills down his spine, it’d been years since someone -specifically him- had called him like that. “What?” “I’m sorry”.
Kyungsoo rolled over himself and looked at the boy sorrowful eyes. “What about?”
“You know what about”, he answered still not looking at him. “Do you believe I hate you?”
Kyungsoo wasn’t ready for this, but it was the first time since they had broken up they hadn’t openly ignored each other, it was now or never. “I don’t know, and for all I care, I don’t want to. You left me because I wasn’t enough, I understand, it was so hard for me to process and accept but I’m better now. You don’t have to apologize, relationships come and go. Two years have passed already, I moved on and I’m sure you did way faster than me. I was happy with you if that’s what you needed to hear.” Words came abruptly out of his mouth, words that hadn’t been spoken but cried, words that had imprisoned his sanity. He felt empty now. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears that were about to come out of his eyes.
A deep silence started growing between them. Kyungsoo was about to add something when Jongin finally answered.
“You were always enough for me”.
Silence again. Kyungsoo waited now.
“Look, I know I don’t deserve any of those words. I don’t want you to forgive me. It’s okay if you swear at me, if you kick me, if you hate me. I would accept everything. I was afraid at the time. We were gonna start working, and I wasn’t ready for adulthood. This is not an excuse, I don’t even know what this is, but I have been haunted by these thoughts for too long. I just wanted you to know you were the best that happened to me and I threw it all away.”
Kyungsoo opened his eyes and whispered. “I don’t regret giving those years of my life to you.”
They looked at each other embarrassed. They didn’t even know at what point they'd started holding hands.
Maybe Kyungsoo hadn’t been that unlucky after all.