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Wish Upon a Star (별빛 바램)

Summary:

Meteor showers mean so much to Jinki, but not even him knows until what point.

Day 2: Shooting Star.

Notes:

This was hard for me to write. Really hard. But in the end, it was kind of healing.

You did well.

Work Text:

"Hey, hey, hey. C'mon, for a leader like you to cry like this...", the not-so-tall man said while patting the other's back. They had been caught in a hug for some time now, but none of them had the intention of letting the other go.

"A-Are you real?" stuttered the tallest one, not being composed enough to even talk. Tears fell and fell, full of pain, doubt. His eyes spoke tragedy and sorrow, but every tear he shed cleared his darkened soul.

"One year older than me and you've already lost your mind? How can I not be real, can't you feel my warmth, my heartbeat?" answered the other, putting his best-offended expression on. His puppy eyes showed fun, however, he'd always liked teasing his -once- boyfriend. "You're really something else, Jinki".

Jinki was taken aback by the sound of his own name. His arms tightened all around the man's figure, as if he was going to disappear the second he let loose. "How is this even possible, Jjong?" Jinki mumbled, being attacked by another wave of regretful tears. Tears which had been hidden for months.

"Today's the meteor shower, remember?" Jonghyun caressed Jinki's face with his thumb, drying the non-stopping tears. He then put his hand on his hair and stroked it as gently as he possibly could, noticing how the eldest's breathing became slower and steadier. He then approached his face next to his ear and with the most loving tone he had, he whispered: "I promised you we were gonna watch shooting stars together one more time". Jinki finally looked at him in the eyes, those eyes that had driven him crazy so many times. Those eyes that contained all the love in the world, but also all the sadness. Those eyes that captivated the hearts of many, many others. Including his. Those eyes who contained indecipherable wisdom, those eyes that talked about skeleton flowers and blinking games.

"The first time I saw a shooting star was the day I first met you", Jinki said, finally able to connect a whole sentence. "The day five different people united to create such wonderful memories, becoming my family by something stronger than blood, that very first day, I also saw a shooting star" he added, still looking at his lover's eyes. "The first day you said you love me", he gulped, realizing tears were starting to fall again, "that day we watched a falling star together". He finally broke eye contact and loosened his grip to hold the other's hands, softly grabbing one and putting it on his cheek, where it belonged. "And I hadn't seen any other until the day you left".

Jonghyun smiled tenderly at him but didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed Jinki's hand and guided him outside, where the sunset was already declining, being relieved by the moon, who could now be seen as the main character of the scene. He then closed his eyes and felt the night breeze caress his dark hair, the crickets chirping on the background, his beloved moon reflecting the sun's rays over him. Moved by the view, Jinki couldn't help back hugging the man, as he had done several times. Jonghyun chuckled. "You may have lost your mind, but still haven't lost your old habit of back hugging every person you're close to, have you?" "Backhugging you was- is", he corrected himself, "one of my favourite hobbies". "Not that I'm complaining", he whispered.

Minutes passed, but the silence made none of them uncomfortable. The intimate confidence they share couldn't be found anywhere else. The light breeze and the shiny full moon made the scene seem beautiful and eerie, even, but among all of those, it was mainly peaceful.

It was Jonghyun who decided to break that silence first. "How are my favourite kids doing?" Jinki was already expecting that question. "Kibum has been so honest about you. He may seem the weakest for some, but for me, he's one of the strongest. You know he's stubborn as hell, I know he won't let any of us down. He's been offered some jobs now, more than any other of us, but it'll do him some good to keep himself busy". Jonghyun smiled at the news and nodded to himself. "What about Taemin?" Jinki took some time to answer. "Taemin, our baby... He's a grown man now. He's a renowned dancer, I know he's finally getting the recognition he deserves. He's strong, too, but he tends to bottle up his feelings and it honestly scares me. I wish he would realize he has his brothers beside him to help him vent about anything". Jonghyun turned around to look into the tallest's eyes. "I wonder who taught him to be this way". Jinki rolled his eyes dramatically and the other couldn't help laughing at him. His wide smile soon disappeared, though, and transformed into a solemn expression. "And Minho?" Jinki sighed at the sound of that name. "Minho... Minho's been our saviour. He's literally kept us together. He grabbed us when we were falling apart. He dried our tears, listened to our sobs, hugged us until we fell asleep. Minho's been our cornerstone. He's been the one I should have been. I just..." he couldn't finish the sentence and lowered his head down. Jonghyun kindly grabbed his chin and pushed upwards, making him confront his eyes again. "Are Minho and you...?" he left the sentence unfinished, but both of them knew what he was referring to. After an awkward silence, Jinki finally nodded, embarrassed. "I bet you look cute," he said with a wide grin on his face. Jinki leaned closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder. "We've been living together for 10 years now. We've seen each other on our darkest days, but also shared our best moments. We’ve taken care of each other for so long now… Did you know he's started telling old man jokes?" They both laughed while picturing him. "I even started watching football for him", he then added. He stopped before continuing, making a longer pause this time. "I... really love him."

"I love him as much as I loved you, too".

The words that had been buried deep in his heart had finally been opened. Jonghyun looked then to the sky, and the other followed his action. The first falling star appeared and disappeared in the blink of an eye. Jinki looked at him and his heart fluttered. He couldn't resist it any longer and closing his eyes, he slowly approached the smallest boy and finally kissed him. He felt his warm lips touching his, his known sweet taste all over his mouth. He felt happy.

When he opened his eyes, he was alone.

He looked at his surroundings, but there was no one around. He felt his knees go weak and his heart felt crushed again. Everything went black. Emptiness started eating him from the inside, shadows and darkness overwhelming him. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger, and tears piled up to fall again. He was drowning in his own sadness.

It was then when he heard his own name from the distance, this time being called by a different voice.

"Jinki, are you here? Jinki, where are you? Jinki!" He felt two strong arms lifting him up from the floor and hugging him. He was so confused and shocked he couldn't even recognize who the other person was. He just knew it smelled like home. "Jinki, are you okay? Jinki, please answer me." Minho's worried expression woke him up. "M-Minho, you're here", he answered weakly, almost unheard. "Of course I'm here. I am always here", he quickly answered. "Are you okay? What happened? I've been looking for you all day, you didn't pick up any of my calls", his concerns blossomed like flowers, but Jinki smiled softly at his cuteness.

"I had a dream", he finally said. "A dream? About what?"

After meditating the answer, he freed himself of his hug and looked at Minho's eyes. "I dreamt about a poet and an artist. I dreamt about the moon, the sun and three stars. I dreamt about life and about death." He looked at the lilac sky for the last time just to see another shooting star falling. He smiled to himself and finally said: "I dreamt about loving you".

Minho grinned endearingly to his one and only and leaned on to kiss him. They pressed their lips together, softly, lovingly.

Only Jinki realized that kiss felt sweeter than he was used to.

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