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Nakajima Atsushi has been searching. For all his life in the past twenty years, he has been searching for a reason to remain as himself. Finding a purpose in life. Seeking for someone to give him the right to breathe, the right to survive. He hates his past, he hates how his parents forsake him, and he hates how he was being tortured in the orphanage. Most of all, he hates himself.
Akutagawa.
What?
Am I foolish? Is it silly of me to try to break free from my memories?
Yes, it is. After all… The words that had been tormenting you no longer have anything to do with who you are.
After the battle with Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald, the President of Armed Detective Agency has allowed Atsushi to take the rest of the day off for some proper rest. He aimlessly walks around Yokohama harbour, trying to find a quiet spot for his tiger ability to start rejuvenating his body and nursing his wounds. Sitting down on the grass with his legs stretch out, he takes a few deep breaths and process all the conversation he had earlier with Akutagawa.
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, much to Atsushi’s dislike, is indeed a capable person. Atsushi ponders about what he has and Akutagawa does not.
You have an outstanding ability! Fortune smiles upon you. Without putting in any effort, you have gained Dazai-san’s praise and acknowledgement by sheer luck! Yet you turn a blind eye to these blessings, and keep wallowing in you oh-so tragic past!
‘Akutagawa, why do you want Dazai-san’s praise and acknowledgement so badly? What have you been through?’ Atsushi wonders aloud.
‘Why do you want to know?’ A voice demands and Atsushi jumps.
‘Akutagawa! What are you doing here?’ Atsushi stands up.
‘I should be asking you the same question. And why are you so nosy about my business?’ Akutagawa scrunches up his nose and frowns before taking a seat on the grass.
‘I am just being a little curious.’ Atsushi replies quietly and sits beside Akutagawa.
The duo sit together in silence, watching the sunset along the sea line of the Yokohama water.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke returns to his apartment that day after stopping by the convenience store for bento. Yes, he does pay for his meals and he does not kill any random person he sees. He only kills when he is on a mission and some people (like a certain tiger) just has to obstruct his work.
The alley that leads to his apartment is dead quiet. Of course it will be. Most of the mafia members are staying at the same block and most of them are still busy dealing with the aftermath of the whole Moby Dick ordeal. Akutagawa keys in the passcode and unlocks the front door, slipping off his shoes and heading to the kitchen. Gin is on a mission and will not be back until two days later. He checks the wall clock. Half past eight. Akutagawa debates internally if he should take a shower before having his dinner. Scratching the back of his head, he slumps down onto the chair in front of the dining table.
I believe Dazai-san has acknowledged you long ago.
It is indeed disturbing. That man-tiger is not Dazai-san. How will he know whether Dazai-san has already acknowledged back then? Although a pat on the shoulder from his former mentor is indeed a strong evidence that supports what that man-tiger has claimed. Akutagawa frowns as he chews his food with too much force, as though he is biting off a certain person with the tiger ability.
Annoyed, Akutagawa slams the bathroom door after finishing the last bit of his bento.
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And obviously, they should have seen it coming.
‘Double black?! What is that?’ Atsushi exclaims with eyes widened. ‘I don’t want to work with a murderer!’
‘Shut up, jinko! Dazai-san! Boss wouldn’t have approved this!’ Akutagawa shouts as his hands ball up into fists.
Dazai just smiles in amusement. ‘Now, now. Listen to this, this is an order from both the President of the Armed Detective Agency and boss from Port Mafia. Akutagawa, you will be halted from all mafia activity at the moment and work with Atsushi instead. Now that Fyodor Dostoyevsky is back, we need the strongest power we ever have to protect this city.’
‘But Da-‘ Dazai holds up a hand to stop Atsushi from continuing.
‘As seen from how the both of you having defeated The Guild, it is only sensible to make the both of you work together again. It is the most efficient and rational way of putting it. Try not to kill each other before you kill Fyodor. Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia are on a ceasefire agreement.’ Dazai stands up and places his hands each on his current and former students’ shoulders.
‘I will leave Yokohama in your hands, Atsushi-kun, Akutagawa-kun.’
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Atsushi stares at the explosion site, for which a certain black coated male has entered just five minutes ago.
‘Akutagawa!’ Atsushi shouted.
There is no answer, the only answer is the grey smoke from the huge explosion that no one can possibly have survived.
‘Jinko!’ Akutagawa yells as he summons Rashomon to retrieve the man-tiger hybrid that flew off Moby Dick due to receiving the heavy punch from Francis.
Whenever you’re darkened by sadness and your tears overflow…
Whenever your heart floods with loneliness and begins to waste away…
I’ll call out a name:
Your name –
Just as you once called out mine.
‘Akutagawa! Answer me!’ Atsushi runs into the site, blood is everywhere. Unrecognisable human body parts are scattered around the floor.
Not far from the source of the bomb, lies a dark coated male, face down and blood pooling around his torso.
‘Akutagawa!’ Atsushi shouts, helping Akutagawa to sit up. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Shut… it, jinko. You’re so noisy. Let me r-rest a little.’ Akutagawa closes his eyes tightly, and Atsushi checks if the former is still breathing. Much to his relieve, Akutagawa just seems to be exhausted.
Carrying Akutagawa over his shoulder gingerly, Atsushi slowly makes his way back to the Armed Detective Agency office. Everyone seems to be surprised the state that Akutagawa is in. Yosano runs a check on the latter while Atsushi paces up and down outside the room.
Yosano emerges from the room minutes later. ‘He is not hurt, just exhausted. He must have used his ability to deal with the blow of the explosion. Let him sleep for a while, there isn’t much I can do since I don’t see any injury.’
‘Thank you, Yosano-san.’ Atsushi sighs.
Yosano clicks her tongue before walking away. ‘Tsk, I thought I can try out my new cleaver I ordered a month ago from Germany. What a pity that the mafia lad didn’t get any injury.’
Atsushi just laughs dryly, feeling slightly better. He enters the room where Akutagawa is sleeping peacefully. He does not frown in his sleep and for once, Atsushi appreciates the pale but handsome features of Akutagawa’s face. The long eyelashes cast long shadows on his cheekbone. Atsushi chuckles a little. Akutagawa might have been a cute child when he is younger if he is not so grumpy.
Again, what do I know about him? Nothing.
“I guess no one would notice if I were gone,”
I whispered, as I looked up to the sky… alone.
Then amid the wind, I heard,
From somewhere far off:
My name –
A gift that allowed me to remain who I am.
‘…Ko. Jinko. Jinko! Wake up!’ A fist collides with the top of his head not so gently.
‘Aw… Akutagawa? You’re awake?’ The only reply he gets is Akutagawa’s scrunched up face.
‘What am I doing here?’ Why am I in a bed and wearing a hospital gown?’
Atsushi rubs his eyes blearily. ‘You are in Armed Detective Agency’s office. I carried you back. You passed out at that site.’
‘Shit.’ Akutagawa curses under his breathe. ‘Give me my clothes. I don’t want to stay here.’
‘Are you shy, embarrassed or both, Akutagawa-kun?’ Dazai comes in smiling brightly. ‘Good job, the both of you. The mission is a huge success. Go home and get some rest.’
Both younger males stare at Dazai then look at each other, before turning away, slightly blushing.
‘Akutagawa-kun? Don’t you have something to say to Atsushi-kun? I hear you murmuring in your dreams, you know.’ Dazai winks. ‘See you boys around. I’m going to find my date for a double suicide~’
I’m here. Jinko.
Even if the future awaiting me is so bright that it’s blinding,
If I’m to face it alone, there’s no real meaning in it…
I’ll shout out a name:
My name –
I’m still right here…
… can you hear me?
‘T-Thank you, Jin-Nakajima.’ Akutagawa stutters as he grabs his coat.
Atsushi smiles.
‘You’re welcome, partner.’
So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling…
So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together…
I’ll call out a name:
Your name –
So that you can remain who you are.