Work Text:
"Are you embarrassed because of me?"
"Yes, hyung" Hoseok said with a complete poker face before he slightly giggled.
"Hyung is so embarrassing." Taehyung commented sending Jimin and Jungkook into peals of laughter at their flustered hyung.
"Hyung you embarrassed us!" Namjoon mocked as they left Seokjin, who had failed to catch a fish, praising Yoongi in the same breath who was too caught up in his little victory.
"God hyung! Your dad jokes really embarrass me!" Yoongi said, frowning slightly at a laughing Seokjin, whose laughter slowly died down.
"Ok sorry." Seokjin whispered. Yoongi was too distracted to catch that.
Seokjin had lost count on how many times he had to hear that from his members and it was weighing him down.
"This will stop." Seokjin said as he looked at himself in the mirror.
-----------------
"Um..hyung? What are you doing?" Jimin asked as he watched Seokjin pack up his DIY clothes in a big plastic bag which they used to collect trash.
"Throwing these away." Seokjin said, as he hummed a tune. "I don't want to wear them anymore."
"Didn't you love them?" Jimin asked as he side stepped to let Seokjin through. Seokjin shook his head and left, whistling out a random tune.
Jimin shrugged and went back to him. An hour later, when he came out, Seokjin was sitting on the sofa in the living room, laptop in front of him and books and papers and pens opened all around him. His glasses were perched on his nose.
"Hey hyung, you have an assignment due?" Jimin asked, as he sat down and picked up a paper to read what Seokjin was writing. Seokjin plucked the paper from his fingers and stuffed them into a file.
"Don't look into my work without asking first Jimin-ah" Seokjin mumbled as he crossed out a small paragraph on his notebook and resumed writing. Jimin blinked. Seokjin didn't look at him even once.
"Um...sorry hyung." he said, feeling chastised. Seokjin just hummed, too engrossed in his notes.
Jimin sat there, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. He hesitantly got up, waiting to see if Seokjin turns to him or not. When Seokjin didn't, he walked out from the living room and went into the kitchen, to observe his hyung. Seokjin looked tired yet energized at the same time. But, he also felt a bit... foreign? Seokjin never minded his members picking up papers and reading it, claiming that it helps because the members tended to point out spelling mistakes and correct it for him- a slightly less work for Seokjin.
Jimin sighed, thinking his hyung was having a bad day.
"Hey hyung, don't move your arms like that." Hoseok instructed, frowning at Seokjin. Seokjin sighed.
"Show me how, then."
Hoseok did, Seokjin copied it multiple times before he got it right. He stayed back after everyone left. Hoseok came back after an hour with food and drinks, only to see Seokjin going through the whole dance. He spotted their choreographer who looked relieved to see him.
"Ah Hobi-ah. Thank god" their choreographer said, softly. "Try to stop him, will you. He can collapse anytime. He has perfected the moves but won't stop going through it."
"How many?" Hoseok asked.
"I have lost count."
"Okay, you can go, sir. I will take it from here." Their choreographer left. Hoseok smiled his bright heart shapped smile and turned to look at Seokjin but the dark look on his face made him freeze.
"Don't even try, ok?" Seokjin said. Hoseok nodded, suddenly scared of his hyung. "If you don't wanna help me, Hoseok-ah. You can leave."
"Um...no...uh...I will help?" Hoseok said, suddenly unsure how to approach Seokjin. "But, why don't you take a break?"
"Don't want to embarrass you, Hoseok-ah." Seokjin smiled sweetly but Hoseok felt chills run down his spine.
"Oh...uh...OK?" he stumbled over his words. He placed the food and drinks on he table and went to dance with Seokjin.
Usually, their dance practices are filled equal amounts of laughter and seriousness. But today it was serious with no jokes cracked or even a smile thrown in here and there. Hoseok started to feel tired after a few re-runs but Seokjin didn't seem like he wanted to stop. He didn't dare say anything, too scared of the look that was on Seokjin's face throughout their session.
Hoseok hasn't seen Seokjin look this scary and serious ever in his life. Never. It was a completely new look on him and Hoseok wasn't sure how to deal with it. But somewhere at the back of his mind, he felt it was his fault. He just couldn't understand why.
Yoongi felt something amiss while and after they were shooting their latest Run episode. It was nagging at him and making him feel very unsettled. He didn't know why he was feeling to uncomfortable over that all of a sudden. He really didn't like the constant distracting that he found himself going through for two days straight before that. He couldn't understand what he missed.
When the episode came out, he didn't have the time to watch it. Later, at night, he scrolled through twitter, checking their reactions. A few comments made him sit up.
Seokjin didn't crack one dad joke. he was very subdued? i hope he is ok.
it feels like i am watching debut Seokjin all over again.
Ahh Seokjin really is the life of variety shows isn't it? he was too suddenly very shy, like he used to be during their debut shows.
which is the real Seokjin? Debut- Seokjin or the Seokjin that we know? i don't care i love him all the same.
Seokjin suddenly sunk back into the back ground? is he ok?
Yoongi watched their Run Episode at 3am in the morning.
He blinked when he realized how the fans were right. Seokjin didn't do any of his crazy stuff that he does. He didn't crack any jokes. laugh loudly or show his childish behavior at all. Not one dad joke was thrown. Jimin was all over Seokjin but Seokjin just softly giggled and freed himself from their mochi, who looked slightly surprised but hid it well. Yoongi turned to look at his sleeping roommate.
Did something happen? Did they miss something? Did Yoongi miss something?
He felt that he was missing something, he didn't know what. But it had to do with Seokjin. He was sure of it and he will find out.
Seokjin is usually serious when he works but he also has this knack off defusing the seriousness when it became suffocating by making the people around him laugh lightly so that they can have a stress-free reharsal of whatever they were doing. This time though, Namjoon wanted to leave the recording the booth. The way Seokjin was working was so different that what was a week ago, was like a whiplash to him. Seokjin didn't smile even once. He didn't make anyone laugh, or crack a slight joke or anything. Namjoon noticed it after three hours of their recording. There was this tense atmosphere inside the recording booth. Not one member laughed or smiled. Jimin wasn't all over the place, giggling, Taehyung wasn't trying to make faces pull minor pranks, Yoongi wasn't grumbling at everyone to quiet down, Hoseok wasn't joining Jimin in their non existent giggle fest. Jungkook was sitting very awkwardly, beside Seokjin, fidgeting around and looking slightly nervous was odd for their maknae. And Seokjin? He hadn't opened is mouth other than to sing. He didn't engage anyone into anything- whether in laughing or amused discussions or saying encouraging words. Namjoon remembered how Jungkook was slightly bothering Seokjin when they had come to record but Seokjin had shot him down real quick with a "let us get serious, now, Jungkook-ah." his voice low and soft. Jungkook, being the cheeky brat, didn't listen and proceeded to bother Seokjin who completely ignored him. Namjoon's eyes slightly widened. Kim Seokjin never ignored a playfull Jungkook, no matter where they are and what they were doing. Jungkook had deflated soon enough.
Namjoon found that very odd. He thought back on his time spent with Seokjin and realized that he hardly spent an hour with Seokjin in the past few days. Seokjin did come into his studio once but they had only talked about work before Seokjin had left. The rest of the week, they had zero interaction. Namjoon was very tempted to talk to Seokjin again, but when he tried to approach him, he found Seokjin unwilling to give him much attention, too engrossed in doing whatever he was doing. Namjoon had tried to talk, but the one word answers drove him slightly crazy before he muttered a "good night" and left.
Days later, he heard that Seokjin was in the recording booth for a whole six hours. Namjoon had made a surprising noise when he heard that and had gone to collect his hyung, only to find him singing his new solo and playing the piano. Namjoon wanted to stop him but something about Seokjin made him stop. He suddenly couldn't approach him like he was used to and didn't know what to tell him. He just stood there and watched as his hyung finished the song, sighed, got up, stretched and tidied up to leave. Seokjin simply smiled at him and nodded. They walked back home in silence, talking very softly now and then, like they used too when they first got to know each other. Namjoon was left dejected when the reached home and Seokjin retreated back into his room, his day feeling very incomplete all of a sudden.
To say, Taehyung was suddenly uncomfortable around Seokjin would be an understatement. Seokjin seemed to completely withdraw from all fun and games. He didn't do crazy things with Taehyung, on and off camera. He stayed away from chaos, smiling slightly, giggling or laughing covering his mouth. He was surprised when Seokjin just sighed at him and gave him a light thwack on his head when Taehyung joked about his shyness. Taehyung was properly dejected when Seokjin didn't reciprocate to his mock flirting. He was properly confused when Seokjin didn't take the chance to praise his looks on-cam during an interview after the interviewer complimented him and the members slightly hooted. He was officially scared when Seokjin refused to fight him back during a slight disagreement. He and Seokjin were very different with their opinions on somethings and they usually got into debates, neither willing to back down until things got really serious. What made Taehyung give into Seokjin was how Seokjin was holding himself, looking at him straight in the eye, face expressionless and stoic. Taehyung suddenly had flashbacks to when they were not close enough just yet and Seokjin tended to shy away from too much brashness and activity. His on-cam persona took a drastic change when Seokjin became way more professional than he actually was. Fans noticed it too, claiming how Seokjin became slightly scary and generally joking about it but to Taehyung, it was not a matter of joke, but of very very deep concern. He hated how he suddenly felt foreign to his hyung, as if they weren't close yet, just like how they first met each other. Taehyung didn't like that. At all.
Jungkook had never felt the 5 year age difference between him and Seokjin mostly because Seokjin never made it known. Jungkook was delighted to find someone like Seokjin, who turned into a child himself just to make sure, he, Jungkook, was having a great time no matter the situation. Jungkook loved their play fights, their constant bickering and constant brawls over nothing significant. Things hardly got serious between them. Seokjin never raised his voice on him, never made him feel too homesick, always played with him and indulged him whenever Jungkook wanted it. When all this stopped, Jungkook was left floundering. He didn't know what to do with himself. No one reacted to him like Seokin used to, which was one of the reasons Jungkook loved bothering him. And he also loved getting bothered by Seokjin, though he didn't show it. But something happened, which made Jungkook feel that Seokjin was indeed 5 years older than him.
He was being his normal bratty self, causing slight havoc around Seokjin and bothering him like he usually does. Seokjin tried to stop him but Jungkook just laughed and didn't stop. He then got a plushy and hit Seokjin, hard, on the head. Seokjin choked on his noodles. Jungkook laughed and patted his back, ready to watch Seokjin go in a rant like he does. He was shocked to the core and Seokjin simply turned towards him and leveled him with a Look.
"Jeon Jungkook." Seokjin's voice was soft and dangerous which made the other members immediately stop laughing. "When I asked you to stop bothering me, you should have. You never listen to me properly, Jeongguk."
His voice was so cold and scary that Jungkook gulped and looked down, unable to maintain eye contact.
"I am letting this go." Seokjin said, as he packed up his food. "Next time, I wouldn't. I didn't teach you to disrespect me Jeongguk."
"Sorry...hyung." Jungkook stuttered out, feeling small in front of his menacing hyung.
"You better be." Seokjin said. He walked to the trash can, threw away his food and left to change.
As soon as Seokjin left, Jungkook slumped down, suddenly losing all his energy and breathing.
"I am sorry." he said again. Jimin rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. He looked around at the rest of the members.
"Is it me...or did something happen and we don't know about it?" Jimin asked.
"It isn't you." Yoongi said and told him about the run episode.
"I just thought that he was having a bad day..." Taehyung trailed off as he recalled what happened.
"I don't know what happened but we better find out." Namjoon said.
And they did. After a whole month of Seokjin behaving more reserves and calm and collected and not at all like their childish hyung. Seokjin's sole role as the eldest member was suddenly glaringly obvious. He kept everyone in line, showed his mature side which he only did during crisis and performances. His child like behaviour was totally gone and the members suddenly felt that it never existed. They still joked with him and he still reacted to them, smiling and laughing and indulging them but not with his usual gusto. He didn't start the fun anymore. His reactions was limited mostly to fond exasperation and slight laughter. His signature laugh was muted and hidden behind his hand. He wasn't brazen about his looks anymore. He kept to the background and rarely took the centre stage anymore. His actions and reactions were so painfully limited that the members started to miss it. Jimin went as far as watching fan made videos of their childlike hyung and staring at Seokjin, willing him to revert back to his childlike self. He controlled them silently like he used to do before. They had a series of broadcasts and shows for their new release and Kim Seokjin's personality was reverted back to his debut days- so much so- that even the fans started noticing it.
Jimin was scrolling through twitter with Taehyung and Jungkook in their room, frowning at the observations that their fans had made.
ahh debut-seokjin was really shy and awkward. i was happy that he was coming out from his shell. what happened? is he upset? i hope he can cheer up.
aish, seokjin doesn't feel like the fake maknae anymore :((
why did he revert back to his early shell? did something happen between the members? i hope he and everyone is ok.
ahh i never understood why jin stans said that seokjin was responsible for the mood of BTS but now i can see it. he made them less intimidating and more fan-friendly. i mean, they still are but it feels different.
The maknaes kept scrolling through similar tweets and Jimin abruptly stopped at one.
hey i think it may be because of the members calling him embarrassing? like Hoseok called him that during their malta trip remember? when Seokjin dressed funnily? and then when they were fishing and then at the airport? they called him "embarrassing" so casually, it might be a regular thing? specially because of how Seokjin doesn't retaliate like he usually would? i am saying that this is the cause but... yea? kinda? maybe? i really hope it isn't. like, the dance line embarrassed him once, during that fansign when they called out on his mistakes? so like...idk haha
Another comment caught their attention.
it wouldn't hurt bangtan to actually compliment him on his improvements rather than calling him out on his insecurities in front of 300 people? i mean, yea..jokes are fine but joking about ones insecurities when they are supposed to know about it is like...insensitive? maybe that is why he changed? you might hate on me but i am making observations as i see them. i and no one else obviously know what actually goes on behind the scenes where we aren't allowed to see but they could have pointed it privately to him? don't they like- love and support each other and aren't they like- super sensitive to each other's feelings like they, specially Hoseok, claimed they were. It feels like only Seokjin is the one without the highest EQ lol. i hope he is ok.
Jimin's hands were shaking when he read the tweets and saw how many people made similar observations and agreed to the original tweets.
"Is it...is it...actually because of us?" Taehyung mumbled as he read the tweet again. "The fans actually think that? Jin hyung's fans?"
"Yea...seems like it?" Jungkook said. "It is like- only his fans though but like...the fans actually think that?"
"They must have seen something that made them think that." Jimin said. "We gotta talk with the hyungs."
And talk they did. After much thinking they all realized how much their casual comments affected Seokjin so much that he changed himself.
The members didn't know how to fix it apart from direct discussion.
"Let us talk with hyung." Namjoon said. "I can't bear this quietness for any longer. He feels way to different to me and I absolutely hate that."
They agreed.
It was only after a whole month that they found time to gather together and talk.
Seokjin was there in the room, sipping his bear and reading a book. He looked up and smiled when the members came in.
"Hey." He said. "What did you guys wanna talk to me about? Is everything alright?"
"It isn't" Jimin mumbled.
"What is it?"
"Hyung- we didn't realize." Hoseok said. "That we were hurting you."
"Hurting me?"
"Yea." Namjoon said. "We- we are ashamed. We miss you hyung. Your playfulness. Your brashness. You haven't called yourself handsome at all. We don't hear you laugh anymore. We don't hear you making jokes or anything. You don't play around anymore. You don't interfere anymore. We didn't realize it. We didn't realize how much we needed it until you stopped. We called you embarrassing in front of people. We made you feel embarrassed in front of people so much so that you changed. You changed so much that even though you are with us, we miss you and want you back. Come back to us hyung. We are sorry."
Seokjin blinked at them before he started to laugh.
"Oh my god no!" he said, hand covering his mouth. Taehyung was itching to reach out and remove that hand. "It isn't your fault. I evaluated myself. I realized that I can't keep being childish because I am a grown man. I have to act my age. Oh boys you got it all wrong. It is fine. We are fine. I was wondering if I did something wrong to make you guys withdraw from me."
"Hyung..." Jimin whimpered out. Seokjin cooed and ruffled his hair, not pulling him into a hug. Old-Jin didn't show affection physically. JImin teared up more. Jungkook and Taehyung were pouting at eldest while the rest of the hyung line realized that they were too late. They lost Seokjin.