Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

#bigdumbassenergy

satan: today on: minho radiates big dumbass energy

minhoe: if u know whats good for u u wont expose me

baby shark: ominous!

satan: im sorry did u hear something :)

minhoe: ….

satan: ….

satan: :)

baby shark: ominous!

minhoe: i Strongly Dislike this family

phoenix: @baby shark do u ever say anything else besides ominous

baby shark: occasionally!

phoenix: what else do u say

baby shark: threatening!

phoenix: variety….. i like it

satan: AHEM

satan: back to my story pls?

minhoe: how about No

hyunny: honestly i thought that said amen

phoenix: PRIASE THE LORD AMEN HALLELUJAH

minhoe: ITS RAINING MEN

hyunny: god i wish

satan: we get it sweaty,,,, ur gay,,,,

minhoe: who isnt tho

satan: now can i PLEASE tell my story

phoenix: remind me again why seungmin’s in charge

satan: are u challenging my authority :)

phoenix: No Sir Absolutely Not

satan: thats what i thought

baby shark: threatening!

minhoe: siri how to get away with murder

satan: that’s what i’ll be asking siri tonight if u dont shut the fuck up ! :)

hyunny: DAMN seungmin went OFF we love a murderous king!

minhoe: way to inflate his ego

satan: aH  E M

phoenix: the floor is yours

minhoe: reluctantly

satan: thank u!

satan: so me and big dumbass #1 aka minhoe were walking down the hall and we passed the recording studio

satan: and there were some people in there bc its school hours so ofc theres people in there

satan: and someone was recording smth and rapping and minho just kinda froze in front of the door and listened to the voice and u guys shouldve seen his face he looked like he had ascended

minhoe: because i DID

phoenix: mood

satan: so yeah hes standing there looking like anna after she sacrifices herself for elsa

hyunny: damn.. i felt that

phoenix: #neverforgetfrozen

satan: and as soon as the rapper dude finishes recording minho just leans against the wall like the dramatic dumbass he is and goes “oH mY gOd i think i just had an orgasm”

phoenix: voice kink much

minhoe: shut up its not like ur voice is the second most godly thing ive ever heard

phoenix: Voice Kink Much

baby shark: im kinkshaming!

satan: but the catch is

minhoe: Hoe Dont Do It

satan: rapper dude had already taken off his headphones

minhoe: Oh My God

satan: so he HEARD minho’s declaration of orgasm

hyunny: ‘declaration of orgasm’

phoenix: the declaration of independence is quaking

satan: and rapper dude + his friends bc some other people were there too all just turn to look at minho and im pretty sure rapper dude was Fear.png

phoenix: honestly what a mood

minhoe: cmon felix u have no reason to be scared

phoenix: when im with u guys? im Terrified

baby shark: #top10animebetrayals

phoenix: except jeongin hes fine

baby shark: #top10animeduos

phoenix: #uwu

hyunny: minho radiates the biggest dumbass energy out of all of us

minhoe: thats a bold statement coming from u

hyunny: im being bullied

satan: say that again i dare u

phoenix: #whipped

minhoe: thats a bold statement coming from u

satan: storytime never ends when seungmin is ur host :)

minhoe: i retract all my previous statements

satan: thats what i thought :)

baby shark: terrifying!

minhoe: heathens all of u

minhoe: i cant even get some respect in this damn house

phoenix: bold of u to assume ur worthy of our respect

baby shark: hello 911! i’d like to report a murder!

hyunny: do u want some ice for that burn

minhoe: I’d Rather Perish

satan: Then Do So

minhoe: ouch

hyunny: honestly tho

hyunny: ur making the rest of us look bad

hyunny: i'd sell u to satan for a cornchip

hyunny: but that would be an insult to corn chips

hyunny: also, i don't think satan would want anything to do with you

satan: can confirm

minhoe: u WALK into MY house

minhoe: u SIT on MY couch

minhoe: u EAT from MY fridge

minhoe: and i dont say a WORD

minhoe: yet HERE U ARE

minhoe: disrespecting MY name????

minhoe: scandalous

minhoe: heathens, all of u

hyunny: we’re literally roommates tho???

minhoe: H E A T H E N S

phoenix: #allmyfriendsareheathenstakeitslow

satan:  #top10animebetrayals

hyunny: #sadlife

satan: #cantrelate

minhoe: what is today??? attack minho day??

phoenix: bold of u to assume thats not everyday

satan: honestly i feel sorry for rapper dude

minhoe: i thought we moved past that

minhoe: storytime is OVER

satan: Every Time Is Story Time

baby shark: ominous!

minhoe: CANCELLED

hyunny: yeah like rip to whoever has to deal with having minho as their secret admirer

phoenix: or rather,,,, not so secret admirer,,,

minhoe: fuck u im a delight

satan: In What Universe

baby shark: Not This One

minhoe: ur all CANCELLED

hyunny: mirror mirror on the wall, which one of us is the biggest dumbass of them all

phoenix: mirror: *whispers* m i n h o

minhoe: mirror: CANCELLED

satan: smh minho u cant just cancel everything u dont agree with

minhoe: oh yeah?

minhoe: watch me

Chapter Text

knees weak… arms heavy...

must forgetti: so im standin there

must forgetti: reeling in s h o c k from what i just heard

french baguettei: bbq sauce on my titties

french baguettei: aw damn i was too late

must forgetti: Honestly? Anything wouldve been Better

moms spaghetti: was it really that bad?

must forgetti: Yes It Was

french baguettei: not rly

must forgetti: binbin D:

much regretti: No It Wasn't

must forgetti: chan bro i trusted u

much regretti: That was your First mistake

must forgetti: betrayed,,, by my own father,,,,

much regretti: I didnt ask for you to be my son

must forgetti: O u c h

moms spaghetti: wow i felt that

french baguettei: same,,

must forgetti: neither of u are gonna stand up for me?

french baguettei: ..

moms spaghetti: …

must forgetti: :(

french baguettei: ….

much regretti: …….

must forgetti: JFJSljfdsk

must forgetti: >:((

-

must forgetti: omg i didnt tell yall the WORST part

french baguettei: that the person who said they orgasmed over ur voice was ur crush??

must forgetti: FUCK U hes not my crush

must forgetti: hes just,,,,, a very beautiful person,,,, sent to us by the heavens,,, whom i admire very much,,,

french baguettei: bold of u to assume hes from heaven

much regretti: #emo

moms spaghetti: chan you’re not using that hashtag correctly

much regretti: #dont care

french baguettei: chan u cant put a sp  a c e between the words

much regretti: #cant stop wont stop

must forgetti: burn it

much regretti: #im a bad bitch you cant stop me

moms spaghetti: i-

must forgetti: jfkdsjfls

french baguettei: flsdm

must forgetti: OK BUT

moms spaghetti: why are you telling us this story

must forgetti: bc i have to Cry about my Trauma

moms spaghetti: we were all there though??

must forgetti: let me p e r i s h in peace

french baguettei: wemme pewish

much regretti: C u r s e d

moms spaghetti: i didnt raise you like this

must forgetti: pls refer to my username

much regretti: Have I ever told you guys how much I regret existing

moms spaghetti: everyday, honey

moms spaghetti: everyday

private chat: its not a phase dad

bang bang: He called me h o n e y

chang chang: he calls us all honey?

bang bang: Let me be gay in p e a c e

chang chang: peace is a social construct

bang bang: ..

bang bang: I mean-

knees weak… arms heavy...

must forgetti: i hate to be that One dude but

must forgetti: remind me again why changbin’s name is ‘french baguettei’

moms spaghetti: do you really wanna know

must forgetti: mayhaps

much regretti: It involves one (1) freshly baked french baguette, a flamethrower, a 5 pound dumbbell, a canister of shaving cream, 6 feet of rope, and my cousin’s old winter coat

must forgetti: Forget I Asked

french baguettei: i wish i could forget…

must forgetti: wow binbin ur really living up to ur #emo name

moms spaghetti: dont we all…

much regretti: I drink to forget….. But I always remember….

much regretti: *dramatically blows nose in handkerchief*

must forgetti: y a l l

must forgetti: one emo is enough in this household

french baguettei: i cant believe jisung is the responsible one now

must forgetti: in this house… Someone Has To Be

Chapter Text

private chat: kangaroo & koala

koala: channie

kangaroo: Yes my cousin dearest?

koala: u never told me why u needed my old coat?

kangaroo: …

kangaroo: some things are better left unknown

koala: mmmm ominous!

koala: but i want answers

kangaroo: i’ll tell you when you’re older

koala: u said that when i was 10

kangaroo: and

koala: im 21 now

kangaroo: your point is?

koala: sometimes i lay awake in the dead of the night wondering what became of my favorite green and red plaid coat

kangaroo: that thing was hideous

koala: SHUT UP greta has feelings u know :(

kangaroo: G r e t a ? ? ? ?

koala: sometimes i can still hear her voice…

kangaroo: what were you On

koala: i was high on the happiness of childhood innocence

kangaroo: ..

kangaroo: i mean im happy for you but i #cantrelate

#bigdumbassenergy

satan: wakey wakey ur all mistakeys

hyunny: what a wakeup call we love a functional alarm clock!

minhoe: Local Dumbass Butters Up Satan In Hopes Of Staying Alive. Will His Plan Work?

satan: we're not talking about u we're talking about hyunjin

minhoe: .

minhoe: why r u attacking me at 8 am

satan: never too early to attack minho

phoenix: #bestfriendculture

minhoe: bold of u to assume we're best friends

satan: bold of u to assume id stoop that low

minhoe: who h u r t u

satan: You Did

minhoe: what did i DO

satan: exist

minhoe: ...are u all seeing this

hyunny: yes

phoenix: yea

minhoe: and u guys arent gonna say anything about it????

hyunny: ..

phoenix: ..

phoenix: seungmin ur doing great sweetie

hyunny: what biting words! we love a harsh yet truthful king!

minhoe: that's Not what i meant but ok

satan: the COURT is on my side

satan: its 1 vs 3

satan: have fun suffering

minhoe: the court is CANCELLED

satan: sorry thats not how it works

minhoe: ur all CANCELLED

baby shark: Long Live The Court

hyunny: !! morning jeongin

baby shark: h-hewwo? uwu

phoenix: normally i would say Cursed but i think i just melted

hyunny: big uwu

minhoe: obama is quaking in his grave

satan: ur all Whipped

minhoe: as if u arent

satan: shut

baby shark: i just read up and @satan are u saying im a mistake D:

satan: no no

satan: ur the exception

baby shark: :D

minhoe: #whipped

satan: #watchurfuckingback

minhoe: im being Attacked

phoenix: what else is new

minhoe: can i catch a fuckin BREAK smh yall

satan: the only break ur gonna have is a break in ur fuckin bones

minhoe: Bold Of U to assume i have bones

baby shark: w h

phoenix: can i get uhhhhhhhhh Boneless pizza

hyunny: beGONE with ur dead memes

phoenix: can i get uhhhhh Boneless minho

minhoe: yes im right here hello ;)

phoenix: goodbye

minhoe: ouch

minhoe’s user has been changed to boneless.

satan: what kind of Cursed Convo

boneless: do u not accept me for who i am

satan: Begone Cursed Demon

hyunny: the boneless doesnt work for satan… satan works for the boneless

phoenix: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS U

baby shark: s t a y a w a y f r o m m y f a m i l y

boneless: this is #bonelessphobia

baby shark: #top10animebetrayals

phoenix: how tragic alexa play the mii theme

satan: the… the mii theme???

phoenix: i only listen to Real Music

boneless: the mii theme is Iconic

satan: 1053r5

hyunny: #neverforgetthemiitheme

baby shark: The Mii Channel Theme But Every Pause Descends You Further Into Madness

boneless: … nice

phoenix: mild_fear.jpg

hyunny: why does that sound vaguely familiar

baby shark: :)

hyunny: O h

phoenix: ,,,ominous

hyunny: …

phoenix: …

satan: …

boneless: …

baby shark: uwu

satan: god thats terrifying

boneless: my Theme Song

boneless: everyone say thank u jeongin

satan: how about No

hyunny: sounds like smth you'd hear in a horror movie ngl

phoenix: well! here come the nightmares

Chapter Text

knees weak… arms heavy…

must forgetti: WHATS THE SCOOP

moms spaghetti: ice cream?

much regretti: Ice cream?

must forgetti: .

must forgetti: this is why i need new friends

much regretti: :(((((((((

moms spaghetti: jisung thats not a very nice thing to say D:

moms spaghetti: its ok, chan, he didnt mean it!

must forgetti: bold of u to assume i didnt

moms spaghetti: he didnt mean it :))

must forgetti: y E s haha i d idnot mean it im sorry m o m and d a d i love u

much regretti: It's ok Sungie

moms spaghetti: see! was that really so hard?

must forgetti: Thats What She Sajd

must forgetti: said*

must forgetti: dammit

must forgetti: ok but Real Talk like noah fence yall but nobody here appreciates mg memes :(((

must forgetti: my**

much regretti: I'll appreciate them :(

must forgetti: chan u cant even meme Correctly

much regretti: Bold of u to assume I can’t

french baguettei: ominous.

must forgetti: BIMBIN

must forgetti: BINBIN*

must forgetti: why cant i TYPE but omg where have u been

must forgetti: u left me ALONE with the parents who cant  m e m e

moms spaghetti: we're right here u know :////

french baguettei: sorry

must forgetti: no ur not

french baguettei: im on the bus

french baguettei: i was trying to listen to some music but u guys didnt Shut Up so now im here

must forgetti: sorry lol

french baguettei: no ur not.

must forgetti: ur r i g h t im not

moms spaghetti: there's a thing called muting the chat

must forgetti: ksbkdnsjs

french baguettei: eh

french baguettei: if i mute then i'll miss the chance to watch jisung embarrass himself

must forgetti: G A S P

must forgetti: BETRAYED by my own BROTHER

much regretti: O u c h

french baguettei: Long Live The King

must forgetti: IWYUWJE

moms spaghetti: absolutely Not im still traumatized by that movie

much regretti: Aw c'mon it wasn't that bad

moms spaghetti: h e d i d n t d e s e r v e t o d i e : (

much regretti: I'm sorry yes it was horrible

much regretti: Kids the Lion King is banned I'm sorry

much regretti: @moms spaghetti I'll be over in 5 to give you cuddles

moms spaghetti: : )

french baguettei: gross

must forgetti: #whipped #younglove #parents

french baguettei: ew theres people getting on the bus

french baguettei: @whatever higher power is up there please let me sit alone

must forgetti: and here we have a wild antisocial changbin in his natural habitat,,,,

french baguettei: nevermind god has abandoned me someone sat beside me

must forgetti: HEJJS god took 1 look at u and said “Let Him Suffer”

french baguettei: this is so tragic alexa play wake me up inside

must forgetti: #prayforchangbin

french baguettei: stop ur gonna make me laugh and Embarrass myself in front of the dude

must forgetti: awww dark changbinnie thinks im funnyyy >w<

french baguettei: i take it back

must forgetti: :(

must forgetti: ok but is the dude sitting beside u a boy

french baguettei: “dude” shouldve given it away

must forgetti: i mean,, i dont see u as the sort of person to call girls “dudette”

french baguettei: .____.

must forgetti: hHHHHh DONT .____. ME THATS SCARY

french baguettei: ._______________.

must forgetti: ..

must forgetti: (.______)-< whale

must forgetti: SHIT hes missing an eye

french baguettei: ://

must forgetti: en o u g h of this bullying

must forgetti: is the dude Hot

french baguettei: Listen

french baguettei: just bc i am a Raging Homosexual

french baguettei: it does n o t mean i find every dude hot

must forgetti: that wasnt a no ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

french baguettei: i mean hes Okay

french naguettei: i take it back hes a literal god

must forgetti: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

french baguettei: no

must forgetti: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)├┬┴┬┴

french baguettei: do Not

must forgetti: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

french baguettei: Begone

must forgetti: changbin has a crushhhhhhh

french baguettei: n o i d o n t

moms spaghetti: my mom senses are tingling!

much regretti: As are my dad ones

french baguettei: jisung u goof look what youve d o n e

must forgetti: uwu

moms spaghetti: so… crush? do tell

french baguettei: jUST BECAUSE I THINK SOMEONES HOT DOESNT MEAN I HAVE A C R U S H

much regretti: U know we love u no matter what, right?

french baguettei: thats it i quit

french baguettei is offline.

must forgetti: he Totally has a crush

moms spaghetti: aw now i have to pester him with questions and i dont wanna do that :///

much regretti: Dw I got u

moms spaghetti: :)

must forgetti: id rather Not third wheel so y e e t bye

much regretti: Ajshsksj??

moms spaghetti: oh okay! bye sungie!

--

private message: changbin is illuminati confirmed

squirrel: binbinnnnnnn

sandwich: what.

squirrel: im sowwy if i huwt youw feewings :(((

sandwich: its chill but Why are u talking like that

squirrel: i know youw sensitive :((((((((

sandwich: i take it back apology not accepted and u r Cursed

squirrel’s name has been changed to cursed.

cursed’s name has been changed to cuwsed.

sandwich: i hate you

cuwsed: no u dont uwu

sandwich: ur on Thin Ice

cuwsed: can u hear

sandwich: No

cuwsed: m y h e a r t b e a t

sandwich: s t o p

cuwsed: iM TIRED OF FEELING

sandwich: Mo od

cuwsed: fhckin emo head

sandwich: nice censoring

sandwich’s name has been changed to emo head.

emo head’s name has been changed to fhckin emo head.

cuwsed: this is b u l l y i n g

fhckin emo head: everything is bullying to u

cuwsed: i have to be treated with Care

fhckin emo head: This Side Up

cuwsed: kHjsbsnsns

fhckin emo head: oh my g od

cuwsed: WHAT

fhckin emo head: hot dude beside me just laughed at smth on his phone

fhckin emo head: is this what an angel sounds like?

cuwsed: awwwwwww uwuwu

fhckin emo head: u would ascend too if u Heard His Laugh and Saw His Face

cuwsed: send pics

fhckin emo head: no wtf thats creepy

cuwsed: i see u have some morals

fhckin emo head: unlike y o u

cuwsed: that Hurted :(((

fhckin emo head: good.

cuwsed: >:((

cuwsed: but u admit hes hot

fhckin emo head: i mean yeah hes a God but i dont think i have a crush

fhckin emo head: h e c k hes trying to Talk to me???

cuwsed: ooOOO hes s o c i a l

cuwsed: u guys r polar opposites

cuwsed: if u get his number im gonna yell

cuwsed: they grow up so fast :’)))

cuwsed: but also i Mean if u dont actually have a crush crush thats chill too

cuwsed: but u rlly need someone in ur life

cuwsed: maybe then youll stop sulking all the time

cuwsed: binbinnnnnnn

cuwsed: whered u gooOOOOO

fhckin emo head: can u shut ur mouth for like 2 seconds im trying to have a conversation

cuwsed: TELL HOT DUDE I SAY HELLOOOO

fhckin emo head: u are Insufferable

fhckin emo head: he says, and i quote, “ayo wass poppin b” and i think i just lost faith in humanity

cuwsed: JSJKDJD HES A KEEPER

cuwsed: also u never had any faith in humanity to begin with

fhckin emo head: ur Right

fhckin emo head: ok well hot kid had to go

cuwsed: rip

cuwsed: did u get his number

fhckin emo head: …

fhckin emo head: maybe

cuwsed: omg u diD didnt u

cuwsed: whats his name????

fhckin emo head: thats for me to know and u to Not Know

cuwsed: but binbinnnnnnnn

fhckin emo head: nope

cuwsed: :((((

cuwsed: add him to our gc

fhckin emo head: thats the Dumbest idea ive ever heard

cuwsed: aww cmon

fhckin emo head: no bc 1) our gc is sacred and 2) hes gonna see me saying hes hot which is a Big nope

cuwsed: ,,,,,,ok fair

cuwsed: make a new gc then

fhckin emo head: ew work

cuwsed: :(((((((( i wanna meet him thooo

fhckin emo head: Sorry, Changbin isn’t at the phone right now. Come back never.

cuwsed: this is #jisungphobia

cuwsed: ur a big bULLY

cuwsed: KJHDKSJ BINBIN COME BACK

cuwsed: this is so sad alexa play im so lonely

cuwsed: >>>:((

Chapter Text

private chat: bus buddies (the antisocial social club)

social: so u never told me why u were laughing on the bus that other day

antisocial: it was just my friend being dumb

social: u,,, have friends??

antisocial: Very Funny

social: yeah i am glad you noticed ;))

antisocial: yes i do have friends tyvm

social: despite your antisocialness?

antisocial: they approached me first.

social: dskljfs valid

antisocial: im gonna assume u have friends?

social: ye i do

social: they’re a bit Wild ™ but ive known them for a while

antisocial: mood

antisocial: my friends are horrible

antisocial: theyre all pining losers

antisocial: two of them are pining for e a c h o t h e r and the other has a crush on someone else

social: theyre pining on each other omg

social: for how long???

antisocial: its been Almost Two Years

antisocial: and thats only been as long as ive known them bc they knew each other before i met them both

social: o m g

social: what kind of kdrama

antisocial: riGHT??

social: whos the person that ur other friend likes

antisocial: some dude

social: h e l p f u l

antisocial: i think he takes dance?

social: !!!

social: i take dance! maybe i’ll know who it is

antisocial: o thats cool

antisocial: uhhh well idk his name but he orgasmed over my friends voice the other day?

social: …

antisocial: NOT literally i mean

antisocial: idk if i mentioned this yesterday but my friends and i make music?? we actually have a soundcloud and a youtube channel

antisocial: we were recording smth the other day and the dude who Happened to be my friend’s crush walked past us and apparently heard my friend rapping

antisocial: then he announced very Loudly that he had a quote on quote orgasm

antisocial: my friend is still Shooketh ™ to this day

social: ……..omg

antisocial: what

social: i know who your friends crush is

--

private chat: changbin is illuminati confirmed

cuwsed: binbin wtf

fhckin emo head: what.

cuwsed: u were texting during class today

fhckin emo head: and?

cuwsed: u never text during class

cuwsed: who were u texting

fhckin emo head: noneya

cuwsed: whos noneya

fhckin emo head: None Ya Business

cuwsed: .

cuwsed: >:((

cuwsed: binbinnnnnnnn

fhckin emo head: w h a t

cuwsed: why were u texting during classss

fhckin emo head: cause i can

cuwsed: but thats not like youuuu

fhckin emo head: well forgive me for having a social life

cuwsed: ur middle name is LITERALLY “antisocial”

fhckin emo head: ,,,

cuwsed: omg

cuwsed: is it Bus Boy

fhckin emo head: no

cuwsed: IT IS ISNT IT

fhckin emo head: its n o t

cuwsed: so u DO have a crush

fhckin emo head: no

fhckin emo head: i dont

cuwsed: im telling daddddd

fhckin emo head: PLease No

cuwsed: >:3333

fhckin emo head: if it werent for the laws of this land,,,

private chat: its not a phase dad

bang bang: Jisung told me-

chang chang: N o

chang chang: whatever he said

chang chang: it wasnt true

bang bang: So

bang bang: No crush?

chang chang: no crush.

bang bang: D:

chang chang :////

chang chang: he’s pretty

chang chang: but i just dont feel that Feeling

chang chang: yknow?

bang bang: Yeah, I get that

bang bang: And that’s totally fine. Don’t feel like we’re forcing you to like him.

bang bang: We’ll support you regardless :)

chang chang: thanks dad

bang bang: Vndkfj you’re welcome son

bang bang: It would be kind of nice to meet this mystery dude though? You’ve never really made friends outside of the three of us

chang chang: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

chang chang: maybe

chang chang: sungie keeps asking me to make a gc with him or smth

bang bang: Mm

bang bang: Well, if you choose to, we won’t stop you

chang chang: *shrug*

chang chang: maybe i’ll ask later

bang bang: Alright

chang chang: and chan?

bang bang: Yea?

chang chang: stop talking properly

bang bang: sjfkjdls

chang chang: i can see thru ur ruse

bang bang: :(((

bang bang: someone has to be literate in this house

Chapter Text

#bigdumbassenergy

hyunny: so im sitting there

phoenix: bbq sauce on my titties

hyunny: thank u

phoenix: np b

satan: please continue.

hyunny: right so

hyunny: im sitting beside this person

hyunny: andhes dressed in all black and he had that Dark Aura yknow??

hyunny: so i thought “well shit im either 1) sitting beside someone who fucks with dark magic, 2) sitting beside an actual demon, or 3) sitting beside someone whos just Very Emo”

jeongin: which one did you think it was?

hyunny: number 2 ofc

satan: dumbass

boneless: for ONCE im not the dumb one

satan: ur Always the dumb one

boneless: ;_;

boneless: attacked in my own house

satan: u dont Own this house

boneless: g a s p

boneless: whos paying the rent BITCH

boneless: thats what i thought

boneless: ungrateful heathen

hyunny: technically, minho, we split the rent-

satan’s name has been changed to ungrateful heathen.

ungrateful heathen: do u have a death wish

boneless: perhaps i do

ungrateful heathen: im preparing the bees

ungrateful heathen: u better lock your doors tonight mimbo

phoenix: mimbo

boneless’s name has been changed to mimbo.

baby shark: are yall like

baby shark: done flirting

baby shark: can hyunjin continue his story now

phoenix: damn jeongin went OFF

hyunny: THANK U jeongin

mimbo: flirting?? ew

ungrateful heathen: ew

ungrateful heathen: i think i just threw up a little

mimbo: i am a taken man thanks

ungrateful heathen: u literally scarred ur crush the other day

mimbo: u dont know that

ungrateful heathen: ur gonna die single

mimbo: tell that to my future boyfriend

ungrateful heathen: which one? the nonexistent one or the nonexistent one

hyunny: y  A L l

ungrateful heathen: sorry

mimbo: seungmin?? saying sorry??? in what universe

ungrateful heathen: i will prepare the spiders too dont Test me

baby shark: guys >:C

mimbo: sorry

ungrateful heathen: sorry

phoenix: sorry

hyunny: ?? why are u sorry felix

phoenix: im sorry for existing

mimbo: oh mood

ungrateful heathen: fuckin emo ass

baby shark: dont be sorry felix!! we’re glad u exist

phoenix: :)

ungrateful heathen: most of the time

phoenix: D:

baby shark: all of the time >:((

ungrateful heathen: eh

mimbo: seunghoe be Nice smh

ungrateful heathen: as if ur one to talk mimbo

hyunny: i;ll fuckin wait

mimbo:

ungrateful heathen:

phoenix: man 2min is really wildin today

mimbo has left the chat.

ungrateful heathen: fucking finally

baby shark has kicked ungrateful heathen out of the chat.

baby shark: continue hyunjin

phoenix: jkhzkxjA Powerful

hyunny: sdjkl man thanks jeongin

baby shark: yw :)

private chat: seungmin and jeongin

seungmin: jeongin wtf

jeongin: talk it out

jeongin: nobody’s letting u two back in until u guys get the sticks out of ur ass and apologize and actually act like u care about each other and the rest of us

seungmin:

seungmin: did it really seem like that

jeongin: it really be like that sometimes

seungmin: youve been spending too much time around felix

jeongin: no

jeongin: ive been growing up while the rest of u guys continue to act like children

seungmin: wh

seungmin: who hurt you

jeongin: im just really tired of seeing u guys argue all the time

jeongin: not just here but in real life too

jeongin: u guys interrupted hyunjin’s story and even when we asked u to stop u guys didnt,,

jeongin: maybe im just getting pissy about something really small but i really care about you guys and i just want us to all get along,,,

seungmin: oh

seungmin: fuck

seungmin: im sorry jeongin

jeongin: dont apologize to me

jeongin: apologize to minho

jeongin: and hyunjin

jeongin: ...and felix too

seungmin: ight,,

seungmin: but still im really sorry our fighting upset u

seungmin: we were only playing around

jeongin: were you?

seungmin: i mean

seungmin: i think we were

#bigdumbassenergy

hyunny: so yeah

hyunny: we exchanged numbers and hes really funny skskks yall should meet him someday

phoenix: whatd u say his name was?

hyunny: cmon felix i said it like 29083e03 times

baby shark: “e”

hyunny: shh

hyunny: anyway his name is changbin

hyunny: hes /? a year older than me i think

baby shark: im glad ur actually making friends outside of us, hyunjin

hyunny: i cant tell if thats a compliment or an insult

baby shark: :)

phoenix: damn jeongin youve been spending too much time with seungmin

hyunny: speaking of seungmin

baby shark: speaking of ur boyfriend*

hyunny: KJFASD HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND????

baby shark: but u wish he was (:

hyunny: wh A t??? n O ????

phoenix: its ok hyunjin

phoenix: we been knew

hyunny: jksldjsjsdfkds

hyunny: whomst the fuck told u

baby shark: its kinda obvious??

phoenix: ^

hyunny: aa a a    a do u think he knows then

baby shark: nah

phoenix: hes too oblivious

hyunny: G,,,ood

hyunny: anyway can we like,, , delete these messages i dont want him to see them when he comes back

phoenix: bold of u to assume he’ll be back

baby shark: ^^^^^

baby shark: but dw hyunjin i got u

baby shark has deleted 18 messages.

hyunny: ty jeongin

hyunny: ur a lifesaver

baby shark: i try :’)

Chapter Text

private chat: minho and seungmin

minho: seungminnnnnnnn add me back to the chat

seungmin: get someone else to.

minho: nobody else said they will

seungmin: did u even ask them??

minho: ,,,

minho: thats Beyond the point

seungmin: you absolute crackhead

minho: >:((((

minho: just add me backkkkkk

seungmin: no

minho: WHY

minho: this is discrimination

seungmin: against who??

minho: against Me

minho: minho discrimination

seungmin: how tragic

minho: thats sarcasm isnt it

seungmin: :)

minho: jJJhssjhsjsksjshsj just add me back Bls

seungmin: i Cant.

minho: WHY

minho: is it rEALLy that difficult to add me to a c h a t

seungmin: when im not in the chat? its literally impossible

minho:

minho: o

minho: well why tf are u not in,the chat

seungmin: its complicated

minho: like you?

seungmin:

seungmin: off with your head, roach

minho: hah roaches can still live without their heads

seungmin: i swear to god

minho: god has abandoned us

seungmin: i mean youre not Wrong

minho: ,,

minho: w hAt?

seungmin: what.

minho: did.. did u just agree with me

seungmin: only bc you didnt say something dumb

seungmin: for Once

minho: Ahsjshs rUDE

seungmin: sksksk

seungmin: um

minho: yes

seungmin: what

minho: whatever you were gonna say

minho: Yes

seungmin: its not a yes or no statement tho???

minho: y  E   s

seungmin: you: a fucking dumbass

minho: will there ever be a day where u dont call me dumb

seungmin: i feel like im obligated to remind u of the truth

minho: google.com is it possible to leave a private chat

seungmin: :)

minho: ;(

minho: anyway werent u saying smth

seungmin: huh?

seungmin: oh

seungmin: yes i was before you so Rudely interrupted me

minho: sorry

seungmin: no ur not

minho: ur Rite continue

seungmin: ok

seungmin: uh

seungmin: i just wanted to say

minho: spill the tea honey

seungmin: sorry

minho no ur not

seungmin: no

seungmin: i am

minho:

seungmin: i dont know if anything ive said has ever hurt you but i just wantedto say sorry for constantly picking on you and being a shithead,,,

minho: whoawhoawhoa

minho: back the fuck up

minho: hold your horses

minho: reverse

minho: do not collect $200

minho: where is this coming from

minho: whomst the fucketh gave u the idea that u were hurting me

seungmin: no,,,one,,,,

minho: sounds Fake but ok sweaty

seungmin: seriously

seungmin: i want to apologize

seungmin: i always thought we were just playing around but ive said some really shitty stuff and i want you to know that i dont mean it

minho: but sometimes u mean it

seungmin: ..Most of the Time

seungmin: listen this is hard for me ok just know that if ive ever gone too far i didn't mean it

minho: honestly its fine?? i didnt even care abt it

minho: come to think of it ive been a bit of a shithead too so im sorry too

seungmin: :’)

minho: :’)))

seungmin: so uh

seungmin: friends?

minho: bold of u to assume we werent already

seungmin: akjsks

private chat: hell

satan: when did the chat name change

satan jr: uwu

satan: i.. ok

satan: anyway uh

satan: u can add us back now

satan jr: hmmmm

satan jr: how do i know u actually sorted ur shit out??

satan: are u Really making me do this

satan jr: :)

satan: i cant believe satan jr is stronger than satan

satan: fine

satan has sent 3 screenshots.

satan jr: perfect

satan: im mild fear

satan jr: i learned from the best uwu

satan: th..thanks?

satan jr: uwu

#bigdumbassenergy

mimbo has been added to the chat.

ungrateful heathen has been added to the chat.

phoenix: welcome home children

mimbo: im older than u tho

phoenix: Welcome Home Children

hyunny: ayyy we missed u

mimbo: :’00000 rEaLlY???

hyunny: correction: @ungrateful heathen we missed you

mimbo: i havent even been here for a minute

mimbo: and ive already been Attacked

ungrateful heathen: aw i missed u guys too uwuwuwu

baby shark: correction: hyunjin missed you

hyunny: W h a t

baby shark: :))

hyunny: i

hyunny: nO

ungrateful heathen: so,, u didnt miss me?

hyunny: yes

hyunny: no

hyunny: W a i t

hyunny: yes i missed u hshdjd

phoenix: a panicked gay in his natural habitat

hyunny has kicked phoenix from the chat.

mimbo: fuckin rip

ungrateful heathen: youve learned well young padawan,,,

baby shark: can we add him back tho

mimbo: no

baby shark: pls :(

mimbo: yes ofc

phoenix has been added to the chat.

phoenix: @mimbo b e  t r a y a l

baby shark: #top10animebetrayals

mimbo: its each man for himself out here

ungrateful heathen: oh hes back??? Shame

phoenix: Kjaknsns

hyunny: felix :)

phoenix: ,,,

phoenix: y-yeS?

hyunny: one more word out of you and youll regret it :)

phoenix: jHsjjsks yessir

mimbo: ominous…

Chapter Text

#bigdumbass energy

baby shark: helloooo

baby shark: an apple a day keeps anyone away if u throw it hard enough!

mimbo: okAY, s a t a n

hyunny: great life advice

phoenix: wHAKSUJS

ungrateful heathen: uhh there can only be One satan in this household

baby shark: uwu

mimbo: jeongin’s giving u a run for ur money

ungrateful heathen: there can only be one

hyunny: yeah sorry seungmin but i think ur being dethroned

ungrateful heathen: wow

ungrateful heathen: betrayed by my best friend :(

baby shark: #top10animebetrayals

hyunny: im sorryyyy :((

phoenix: theres a new stan in town

mimbo: STAN

hyunny: S T A N

phoenix: saTAN*

ungrateful heathen: .

baby shark: honey,,, u got a big storm coming

phoenix: shit

ungrateful heathen: ..

ungrateful heathen: felix,,,

phoenix: sHIT

ungrateful heathen: did u just,,,, call me,,,, Stan

phoenix: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

ungrateful heathen’s name has been changed to stan.

stan: youre dead fuckin meat

phoenix: IT WASNT MEKSHDJNSJX

phoenix’s name has been changed to dead meat.

dead meat: KWSHSKNS HELP PLEAS

mimbo: sorry ur on ur own man

dead meat: BETRAYAL

baby shark: ,,,,

dead meat: JEONGIN NO

baby shark: ,,,,,,#top10animebetrayals

dead meat: aaaAAA A A A A  AHYUNJIN PLS CONTROL UR BEST FRIEBD/BOYFRIEND

mimbo: friebd

stan: ??? boyfriend?

hyunny: sorry the old hyunjin cant come to the phone right now

mimbo: how tragic

stan: any last words felix??

dead meat: I WASNT THE ONE WHO ATE HYUNJINS SANDWICH LAST WEEK IT WAS MINHO

mimbo: HEY

hyunny: g  A S P???

mimbo: HYUNJIN I THOUGHT U COULDNT COME TO THE PHONE

hyunny: SUDDENLY I AM AT THE PHONE

baby shark: if ur gonna go out u gotta drag someone else down with u

mimbo: WE HAD A D E A L

hyunny: MINHO DID U RLY EAT MY SANDWICH

dead meat: THE DEAL IS IRRELEVANT NOW THAT IM D E A D

mimbo: BETRAYED

baby shark: *softly* #top10animebetrayals

hyunny: MI N H O

mimbo: W H A T

dead meat: SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

hyunny: MY SANDWICH??? DID U CONSUME???

stan: open ur door felix :))))

dead meat: nO O O O O O O O

dead meat is offline.

stan: :)

stan is offline.

baby shark: ominous!

mimbo: ..

hyunny: …

mimbo: ….

mimbo: i cant believe seungmin killed felix

hyunny: @mimbo did you eat my fucking sandwich

mimbo: ,,

mimbo: OK in my defense

mimbo: i was hungry

hyunny: bitch sO WAS I IT WAS MY LUNCH

mimbo: ITS EVERY MAN FOR H I M S E L  F

hyunny: U OWE ME A SANDWICH

mimbo: FELIX OWES ME AN APOLOGY FOR RATTING ME OUT

baby shark: ur the only rat here minho

mimbo: ,,

hyunny: KHskjsks go off jeongin

mimbo: im telling seungmon to go after u next

hyunny: s e u n g m o n

baby shark: he wont he loves me too much uwu

mimbo: smfh ur rite

mimbo: why do u have to be so cute yet so mean

baby shark: uwuwu

hyunny: im telling seungmin to go after minho

mimbo: p l e a s e s p a r e m e

hyunny: sandwich thief

mimbo’s name has been changed to sandwich thief.

sandwich thief: another day, another attack to my pride

baby shark: what pride?

sandwich thief:

sandwich thief is offline.

hyunny: jHjsjsn

baby shark: and then there were two uwu

hyunny: jeongin out here doing the gods work

baby shark: so ive been told

hyunny: ,,,, minho owes me a new sandwich :((

baby shark: do u want me to buy one for u?

hyunny: :0

hyunny: ty but no ty i dont want u to use ur money

baby shark: i wont

hyunny: ,,then how

baby shark: ill tell minho i need money to buy myself some lunch or smth

baby shark: he'll give me the money bc nobody can say no to me

baby shark: then i use the money he gave me to buy u a sandwich

hyunny: …omg

hyunny: jeongiN u evil little shit

hyunny: ur really taking advantage of the fact that we're whipped for u

baby shark: uwu im a slippery snek

hyunny: a cute snek

baby shark’s name has been changed to slippery snek.

hyunny: all my uwus go to One boi

slippery snek: dont u mean 2

hyunny: ?

slippery snek: seungmin

hyunny: kHnbsjsbsjs

hyunny: w-well

slippery snek: dont even Try to deny it

hyunny: fine

hyunny: 2 bois

slippery snek: :)

hyunny: sjsgdksn

hyunny: ur lucky ur cute

Chapter Text

knees weak… arms heavy…

must forgetti: @french baguettei can u pick me up a cup of coffee bls

french baguettei: no

must forgetti: i'll pay u back

french baguettei: no.

must forgetti: B ls

much regretti: I'll get you one

must forgetti: BLESS thank u chan

must forgetti: im glad S O M E O N E cares about me here

must forgetti: ill pay u back later

much regretti: No no it's fine

much regretti: You don't have to

must forgetti: :0 w-weawwy?

french baguettei: cursed

much regretti: Yeah, really

much regretti: It's fine

moms spaghetti: chan youre a broke college student can u really afford 2 cups of coffee

much regretti: Anything for my Son

must forgetti: thanks daddy uwu

moms spaghetti: absolutely Not

much regretti: i take it back

much regretti: d is o w n e d

french baguettei: C u r s e d

must forgetti: >:(((

private chat: son why am i son

im not his daddy: Chocolate mocha with extra chocolate and whipped cream, right?

chan is my daddy: !!!!

chan is my daddy: u actually remembered my order!!!!

im not his daddy: ofc i did

im not his daddy: Who doesn't?

chan is my daddy: changbin.

im not his daddy: Jshjsns

private chat: bus buddies (the antisocial social club)

social: so like

social: ive been thinking

antisocial: thats new

social: kahsksha

social: r u d e

social: are u this mean to ur other friends??

antisocial: im Much Worse around them

social: im fear.png

social: BUT YEAH ive been thinking

social: what if we

social: make a groupchat

social: with all 9 (?) of us

social: me and my 4 friends and u and ur 3

antisocial: sounds like a headache

social: honestly it probably Will be

social: at least we'll be able to matchmake my friend and ur friend tho

antisocial: fair

antisocial: ill ask them

social: akhsjs lit ok

knees weak… arms heavy…

french baguettei: hey bitches

moms spaghetti: did you mean: jisung

much regretti: KHskjsns

must forgetti: HEY

french baguettei: o u c h

much regretti: Oof

must forgetti: WOOJ >:((((

french baguettei: #pray4jisung

moms spaghetti: sorry its been one of Those Days :/

much regretti: Do you want cuddles?

moms spaghetti: no,,

much regretti: I'll be over in five

moms spaghetti: n O

moms spaghetti: im not opening the door

much regretti: That's fine

french baguettei: so do u just like,, plan to climb in through the window

moms spaghetti: …?

much regretti: I have a key.

must forgetti: khksjOuwjwn

moms spaghetti: o

moms spaghetti: fine then i just Wont be at home

much regretti: W o o j

moms spaghetti: fine fine

much regretti: :)

french baguettei: hush gays

much regretti: Awjdlksj?

french baguettei: i have a Question

french baguettei: do yall remember bus boy

must forgetti: how could we FORGET

moms spaghetti: who?

must forgetti: .

moms spaghetti: im joking go on

much forgetti: Ah yes

much forgetti: Your not crush

french baguettei: i dont like him we’ve been over this

must forgetti: sure jan

french baguettei: i could just not ask my question ig

must forgetti: wait theres another question?

french baguettei: there Was

must forgetti: fkajfsd

must forgetti: ASK

french baguettei: hmmmm

must forgetti: BINBIN

french baguettei: hmmmmmmmmmmmm

must forgetti: THIS IS BULLYING

french baguettei: how tragic

must forgetti: HHHHHNNNNN

moms spaghetti: jisung?

must forgetti: yess momther??

moms spaghetti: shut ur mouth

much regretti: Dskjfd

must forgetti: D:<

must forgetti: i cant believe i just got murdered by woojin

french baguettei: t h a n k  y o u

french baguettei: now.

french baguettei: bus boy had an idea that, frankly, is very stupid but im going along with it anyway

must forgettii: are we sure this wasnt your idea?

french baguettei: jisung i will Actually slap u

must forgetti: slap me daddy

moms spaghetti has kicked must forgetti out of the chat.

much regretti: SFjklfsdj a powerful king

moms spaghetti: continue

french baguettei: bless you wooj

french baguettei: so he suggested that we make a big gc with all of his friends + all of us

much regretti: Oh no

moms spaghetti: more children to look after :’(

french baguettei has added must forgetti to the chat.

must forgetti: RUDE

must forgetti: WHY AM I ALWAYS GETTING BUILLIED

french baguettei: bc ur the dumb one now stfu and scroll up

must forgetti: fine jeezz

must forgetti: OOH

must forgetti: YES YES YES LETS DO IT

french baguettei: i knew youd say that.

moms spaghetti: Oh No

much regretti: Please refer to my username.

must forgetti: the chat hasnt even been made yet tho??

much regretti: Exactly.

private chat: bus buddies (the antisocial social club)

antisocial: they said yes

social: wow rly?

antisocial: correction: one of them said yes, the other two reluctantly agreed bc they had no choice

social: better

antisocial: what did ur friends say?

social: I Didn’t Ask

antisocial: fsjk

social: ksdjfdlksj

social: they wont mind tho

social: theyre always looking for more people to Terrorize

antisocial: im already regretting this

social: honestly? Same

antisocial: this was ur idea tho

social: doesnt mean i have to agree with it

hyunjin has created a new group chat.

hyunjin has added changbin to the group chat.

hyunjin’s name has been changed to head honcho.

changbin’s name has been changed to captain (america).

captain (america): we dont even live in america

head honcho: p r e c i s e l y

head honcho has changed the chat name to my biggest regret.

captain (america): ugh mood

head honcho: well

head honcho: lets get this over with then!!!!!!!

captain (america): yay :////

head honcho has added felix, minho, jeongin, and seungmin to the chat.

felix: pardon

minho: what the shit is this

seungmin: what is this shit

jeongin: this is shit

felix: shit

head honcho: aklsjfdsl

captain (america): i dont know if im supposed to be laughing or crying

felix: why not do both

captain (america): great idea.

seungmin: why are we here

minho: mood

seungmin: @head honcho (hyunjin?) who tf is captain america

captain (america): @head honcho who tf is seungmin

seungmin: i dont Like this dude ://

minho: u dont like anyone tho

seungmin: ur right

jeongin: actually,,,,

seungmin: dont u Fucking dare

felix: there is,,,,

seungmin: felix i already killed u once i Wont hesistate to kill u again

felix: i msorry sir

head honcho: smh

head honcho: seungmin no killing anyone bls

seungmin: fine

jeongin: #whipped

captain (america): #whipped

felix: KJFLDSJ

felix: EVEN THE STRANGER KNOWS

seungmin: f e l i x :)

felix: suddenly i am gone

head honcho: u absolute CRACKHEADS let me speak

seungmin: order in the court

jeongin: Long Live The Court

felix: im having mild deja vu

minho: ominous

captain (america): shut ur tiddies guys

felix: sir yes sir

minho: dont Talk to my tiddies like that

jeongin: bold of u to assume i have tiddies

seungmin: w hy

captain (america): oh my god

head honcho: this is what i deal with daily,,,,

minho: u say that like ur not as bad as us

head honcho:

head honcho: touche

captain (america): i quit

jeongin: sorry no refunds

captain (america): too fucking bad

captain (america): im adding the others

seungmin: ew theres more?

minho: my antisocial ass cant handle this

felix: oOf

seungmin: but why are we here tho

captain (america) has added chan, jisung, and woojin to the chat.

jisung: HERE COMES DAT BOI

captain (america): please no

head honcho: O SHIT WHADDUP

felix: O SHIT WHADDUP

jisung: HAHA

jisung: THANK YOU FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS THE MEMES

captain (america): hyunjin felix dont enable him ://

head honcho: oops uwu

woojin: i-

chan: Oh-

felix: oh hey chan

chan: Oh hey Felix

minho: ooooooof

head honcho: o

head honcho: u guys know each other?

seungmin: can someone PLEASE tell me why the fuck this is a thing

jisung: WAIT

jisung: BINBIN

jisung: WHICH ONE IS BUS BOY

captain (america): which one do you Think

felix: what

felix: bus boy?

minho: oh

seungmin: oh

jeongin: oh?

felix: what???? oh what??

seungmin: felix u dumbass

felix: :’(?

head honcho: gays,,,,,

head honcho: we gather here today,,,,,,,,,

head honcho: to unite thy friends of my mine, and thy friends of changbin

captain (america): ok we get it ur a literacy major

captain (america): im changbin. thats hyunjin. you’re all our friends. get along. dont be headaches.

minho: sounds festive

seungmin: im leaving

head honcho: no leaving

seungmin: fuck

jeongin: #whipped

chan: I’m changing my username to my name in our other chat.

chan’s username has been changed to much regretti.

felix: mood

much regretti: Felix we’ve talked about this

felix: shut up m o m let me be emo

much regretti: there can only be One emo in this household

captain (america): yeah and its me so stfu both of u

seungmin: your name is literally captain america thats not very emo

captain (america): hyunjin picked it

head honcho: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jeongin: can someone get the popcorn please

jisung: ON IT

minho: this is gonna be wild (stuck out tongue winking eye emoji)

captain (america): fucking cursed

seungmin: youve literally never used emojis before wtf

minho: im just trying something new

jeongin: Never Try Again

minho: :’(

felix: ominous

minho: i never catch a break do i

jisung: finally im not being bullied

captain (america): @jisung dumbass

jisung: KJDLSJ W HY

woojin: it seems i have a permanent migraine now

minho: oh sweaty

minho: we’re only getting started

Chapter Text

my biggest regret

jeongin: ominous!

captain (america): do you only say ominous

felix: thats what i asked him

jeongin: uwu

captain (america): oh neat

felix: great minds think alike ig!!!1!!

minho: bold of u to assume ur great

jisung: bold of u to assume changbin is great

minho: AYYY

jisung: AYYY

seungmin: gross

head honcho: g r o s s

seungmin: ,,

head honcho: ,,

jeongin: i have never felt more single

seungmin: ew

head honcho: D:?

much regretti: Bold of u to assume anyone here isn't single

jeongin: u rite u rite

captain (america): if anyone here is single then its jisung bc hes a whole headache

jisung: i BREATHED

captain (america): that was ur first mistake

felix: oof

jeongin: thats rough buddy

minho: idk if i should be happy im not getting bullied or if i should feel sorry

jisung: @minho pleas support me ily soulmate

minho: hmm

jisung: B l   s im dying at the hands of a midget

much regretti: Uh oh

woojin: honey…

felix: you got a big storm coming

captain (america): Say That Again I Fucking Dare You

jisung: GOTA VLAST US BEEN NICE KNOWIMG U ALLLLL

jisung is offline.

jeongin: press f to pay respects

felix: f

head honcho: f

minho: f

much regretti: f

woojin: f

seungmin: f

captain (america): im gonna beat his ass i s2g ://

minho: kinky

woojin: absolutely not

jeongin: E w

head honcho: im calling the kinkshaming police

seungmin: weewoo weewoo bitch

minho: i didnt do it officer :(((

seungmin: ur underarrest for being a dumbass

minho: arrest me officer ;)))

jeongin: E     w

seungmin: nevermind bye bitch

minho: :((

captain (america): the fucking duality

head honcho: anyway!!!

head honcho: moving on!!!!

head honcho: introduction time

felix: jisung (?) isnt here tho

head honcho: o shit right

woojin: dw i’ll get him back

jeongin: slightly ominous!

head honcho: ok nice!!

head honcho: bls give ur name and some fact abt u

minho: can we send pics of ourselves

head honcho: i mean

head honcho: sure but half of these people are strangers to u

minho: all the more reason for me to slay them with my good looks

jeongin: What good looks?

felix: fqahsjsnj

much regretti: Jabjsns

jisung is online.

jisung: IM BACK DID U GUYS MISS ME

captain (america): not particularly, no

jisung: >:((

minho: HEY

minho: ILL HAVE U KNOW IM THE PRETTIEST OUT OF OUR GROUP

seungmin: uhhh i think tf Not

minho: are u saying ur prettier than me???

seungmin: HAHAHA FUNNY but no

seungmin: but hyunjin is

head honcho: oahsksh

felix: he makes a fair point

jeongin: i agree w seungmin

head honcho: kshjs yAll??

captain (america): yeah hyunjin is prettier.

jisung: u dont even know what minho looks like tho?

captain (america): it Doesnt matter hyunjin is still prettier

minho: wow im rly being attacked in this chilis

minho: @jisung hey soulmate back me up here tell them im prettier :(

jisung: hMmm

jisung: who was it i asked to help me when i was McDying earlier??

minho: ...me

jisung: and who Didnt help me?

minho: ……..me

jisung: exactly

jisung: so Perish

much regretti: JJSJSM

felix: oh SHIT

jeongin: DAMN

much regretti: lAnGuAgE

head honcho: KSBJS

captain (america): holy shit jisung

head honcho: he just went OFF damnnnn

seungmin: OFF mosquito repellent

jisung: JSJKS

minho: DID U JUST CALL ME A MOSQUITO

seungmin: and what of it? :)))

minho: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT

jeongin: you Existed

minho: yall are #minhophobes

seungmin: or maybe we just know a dumbass when we see one

minho ’s name has been changed to dumbass.

dumbass: im getting Tired of this treatment, paulina

seungmin: paulina just called

seungmin: she says she doesnt give a shit

jisung: who names their child paulina tho

felix: i once met a paulina

felix: i felt sorry for her

much regretti: Oh yeah,, her

woojin: i feel sorry for her too ngl

head honcho: same

jeongin: tell paulina i give her my regards

dumbass: smh paulina bullies me and yall decide to feel sorry for her instead??

felix: it really be like that sometimes..

jeongin: #prayforpaulina

jisung: i hate to interrupt our praying but r we doing intros or nah

seungmin: man ur desperate to meet us arent u

jisung: i just dont like the mental images i have of yall

felix: care to elaborate?

jeongin: ominous

dumbass: what r the images tho

jisung: thats for me to know and u to Never find out

jeongin: o m i n o u s

head honcho: ight well

head honcho: ill go first?

felix: go for it dude

woojin: sure

head honcho: hi im hyunjin and im gay as fuck thanks for coming to my tedtalk

seungmin: ofc

jisung: o shit r we doing sexualities

head honcho: nah u dont have to

felix: hes just really open about it

seungmin: he Constantly reminds us

jeongin: you can't have hyunjin without having gay

dumbass: hyunjin is gayer than the rainbow tbh

seungmin: its funny cause he gets like 182782 confessions a day from girls and he has to turn them all down

head honcho: mHkss ok hyunjin exposing time is OVER

minho: cAncelled

head honcho: anyway uh

head honcho: 

jisung: holy shit

much regretti: holy shit

woojin: oh damn

felix: riGHT??

head honcho: uwu

jisung: wow binbin now i get why u were having a crisis

head honcho: a what?

captain (america): a What?

jisung: a nothing Haha ignore me

minho: n e gays my turn!!!!

minho: sup im minho and im what the cool kids call a confident gay (sunglasses emoji)

seungmin: one more emoji out of u and i s2g

jeongin: no cool kids r calling u a confident gay smh

minho: thats what u Think

jeongin: no thats what i Know

minho: im cool :(((

seungmin: in ur dreams sweaty

minho: hmph

jisung: rip

minho: 

felix: aklfjdslkj

jisung: wowww beautiful

captain (america): breathtaking.

head honcho: u fucking crackhead send a real photo

minho: hMPH i cant do anything in this house

head honcho: mInHo

minho: f i n e

minho: 

minho: ft. my precious kitty kitty uwu<3

seungmin: who are u and whatve u done with minho

minho: i just love my babies :((

jisung: OH

captain (america): oh

minho: r u reconsidering when u said hyunjin was prettier? ;))

captain (america): no

captain (america): if anything this only proves me right

minho: :///

knees weak… arms heavy…

french baguettei: its orgasm boy

moms spaghetti: hm?

must forgetti: GUYS MY CRUSH OM KSSKNDJWBD

much regretti: ??

must forgetti: MINHO

much regretti: What

much regretti: OH

moms spaghetti: ooooh

moms spaghetti: this is gonna be interesting

must forgetti: KAHSKSJ HELP

my biggest regret

jisung: FUCK HES CUTE

jisung: SHIT WAIT

minho: why ty (sunglasses emoji)(sunglasses emoji)

captain (america): you chaotic dumbass

woojin: you had one job,,,,

much regretti: Kshjsjs sungie,,,

jisung: IM SORRY MOMTHER

seungmin: those goddamn emojis

jisung’s username has been changed to chaotic dumbass.

head honcho: but minho’s a chaotic dumbass too

dumbass: am N o t

seungmin: dont even try to deny it sweaty

dumbass’s name has been changed to chaotic dumbass #1.

chaotic dumbass’s name has been changed to chaotic dumbass #2.

jeongin: like thing 1 and thing 2 but W o r s e

chaotic dumbass #2: im offedned

seungmin: offedned

felix: offedned

much regretti: Offedned

woojin: offedned

captain (america): offedned

jeongin: offedned

head honcho: offedned

chaotic dumbass #2: oH COME ON

chaotic dumbass #1: …

chaotic dumbass #2: u better not

chaotic dumbass #1: ...offedned

chaotic dumbass #2: NOT U TOO >:((

chaotic dumbass #2: even after i called u hot smh

chaotic dumbass #1: no wait i didnt mean it

chaotic dumbass #2: this marriage is Cancelled

chaotic dumbass #1: we’re married?

chaotic dumbass #2: we Were

jeongin: #top10animedeaths

seungmin: fuckin rip

head honcho: before we kill each other!!!

head honcho: whos next

chaotic dumbass #2: i volunteer binbin

captain (america): no

much regretti: Yes

captain (america): N o

woojin: yes!

head honcho: yes lmao go ahead changbin

captain (america): @chaotic dumbass #2 ihy

chaotic dumbass #2: :))

captain (america): fine

captain (america): hi im changbin and im straight

knees weak… arms heavy…

must forgetti: changbin u filthy liar

moms spaghetti: excuse me?

much regretti: As a Certified Gay™, I feel very insulted

moms spaghetti: we’re all insulted

must forgetti: b i t c h

french baguettei: shush i have a plan

moms spaghetti: orly?

french baguettei: no but play along

my biggest regret

seungmin: G a s p

chaotic dumbass #1: a Straight??? in My christian minecraft server??

felix: unacceptable

head honcho: oh damn u r?? i didnt know that

captain (america): yeah now deal with it

much regretti: It’s his only flaw

chaotic dumbass #2: actually he has plenty of flaws

captain (america): what was that?

chaotic dumbass #2: nOthing sir

jeongin: i never thought id be forced to become friends with a Straight

woojin: imagine how we felt

felix: im sorry for ur loss,,,

chaotic dumbass #1: your pain is our pain,,,,

head honcho has changed the chat name to the gays except for changbin, our token straight.

head honcho: at least we got a cool chat name now

jeongin: ever the optimist

felix: its so long

chaotic dumbass #1: thats what she said ;)

felix: i walked right into that didnt i

captain (america): cursed

seungmin: P e r i s h

chaotic dumbass #2: cool chat name? sure

chaotic dumbass #2: but it would be cooler if it was just “the gays”

much regretti: Smh Changbin this is all ur fault

captain (america): sorry lol

seungmin: those goddamn heteros

seungmin: always ruining our fun

Chapter Text

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

head honcho: well mr straight

head honcho: guess u should show ur Hetero™ face

chaotic dumbass #2: im gonna tell yall a secret

seungmin: no one asked

chaotic dumbass #2: WOW RUDE

chaotic dumbass #2: n e gays

chaotic dumbass #1: n e gays + changbin*

captain (america): stfu

chaotic dumbass #2: changbin ,,, doesnt look very straight

woojin: i mean

woojin: he does have the pointiest chin on the planet

captain (america): i dont appreciate this

chaotic dumbass #2: now u know how i feel .

chaotic dumbass #1: changbin could easily pass as a fellow Gay™

jeongin: orly?

seungmin: i doubt it

captain (america): bold of u to assume i want to pass as a gay

much regretti: If u want to hold your title of Friend™, then u better want to pass as a gay

captain (america): yes sir

chaotic dumbass #1: binbinnnnnn

chaotic dumbass #1: show them ur sandwich face

felix: pardon

jeongin: im fear

chaotic dumbass #2: lmao?

seungmin: what

head honcho: huh

captain (america): jisung

chaotic dumbass #2: yeah? :D

captain (america): no.

chaotic dumbass #2: D:

head honcho: OH SHIT WAIT

head honcho: HE DOES KINDA LOOK LIKE A SANDWICH

captain (america): not you too

felix: im so confused

seungmin: when are u not

felix: fair

head honcho: yall will see it

head honcho: his chin looks like a sandwich

head honcho: like if u cut a full sandwich into 2 triangles and then hold one triangle point down

head honcho: its changbin

chaotic dumbass #2: rIGHT??

chaotic dumbass #2: IM GLAD SOMEONE ELSE FINALLY NOTICED

much regrett: I really don’t see it

woojin: ^

captain (america): good. you Shouldnt see it

chaotic dumbass #1: thats

jeongin: interesting!

chaotic dumbass #1: i was gonna say fucking hilarious but okay

captain (america): i hate this

chaotic dumbass #1: BINBIN SHOW THEM UR FACE BEFORE I DO IT FOR U

captain (america): F i n e jeez

captain (america): 

chaotic dumbass #1: damn

chaotic dumbass #1: ur the gayest straight ive ever seen

captain (america): stfu

felix: is that an eyebrow slash

captain (america): no

chaotic dumbass #1: yes it is

captain (america): it was a D a r e

chaotic dumbass #1: u dont regret it tho :)))

much regretti: You love it, don't you

head honcho: i like how its not even a question

captain (america): S h u t

seungmin: hm

seungmin: not bad for a Hetero ://

captain (america) will yall let me live

knees weak… arms heavy...

moms spaghetti: u brought this upon urself lol

captain (america): not u too :///

much regretti: Why did u even lie about it?

captain (america): tbh? i dont rly know

must forgetti: i feel like this is gonna come back and backstab u later

captain (america): probably.

moms spaghetti: lmao

must forgetti: lmao

much regretti: lmao

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

head honcho: ight whos next

seungmin: i volunteer felix

felix: WHAT no

felix: i volunteer chan

much regretti: i volunteer wooj

woojin: i volunteer jisung

chaotic dumbass #2: i volunteer uh

chaotic dumbass #2: shit

seungmin: sorry, minho already went

chaotic dumbass #1: i swear to GOD

jeongin: there is no god,,,

felix: ominous,,,,,

chaotic dumbass #2: FI NE ill go

chaotic dumbass #2: hi im jisung and uhhhh idk what else to say

captain (america): hes a dumbass

chaotic dumbass #2: n-no :(((

seungmin: ur username literally says it all

chaotic dumbass #2: :(((((((

much regretti: I have a fact about him

much regretti: He's really good at singing and rapping

chaotic dumbass #2: awwww chan :DDDDD

woojin: cant disagree with that tbh

captain (america): thats true ig

chaotic dumbass #2: guys !!!! <3<3

captain (america): dont get used to it.

chaotic dumbass #2: mwah <3

seungmin: disgusting

jeongin: E w

chaotic dumbass #1: i, for one, think its cute

felix: whipped

chaotic dumbass #1: stfu

chaotic dumbass #2: anyway uh!!!

chaotic dumbass #2: 

chaotic dumbass #1: fuck

#bigdumbassenergy

stan: minho.

sandwich thief: dont

stan: M i n h o .

sandwich thief: n o

dead meat: wh-

stan: minho lmao,,,,

sandwich thief: stfu let me P e r i s h in peace

slippery snek: heckin rip

hyunny: ??? am i missing smth

sandwich thief: no . ur not

hyunny: Rlly now

stan: yall remember the kid minho scared off

slippery snek: which one? theres been lots

sandwich thief: youve been hanging out with seungmin too much

stan: the one that proved that minho has a voice kink

sandwich thief: i Do Not

hyunny: thats what they all say sweaty,,

hyunny: n e gays yes continue

sandwich thief: no dont

stan: it was jisung.

sandwich thief: bye

dead meat: ALKJ

slippery snek: small world uwu

hyunny: jalksjflks

sandwich thief: im going to ctrl w myself

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

chaotic dumbass #2: ???

chaotic dumbass #1: nothing

chaotic dumbass #1: ur

chaotic dumbass #1: vvv cute

#bigdumbassenergy

stan: nOtHinG uR vErY cUtE

sandwich thief: i will Actually chop ur dick off dont test me

slippery snek: terrifying!

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

chaotic dumbass #2: :D

captain (america): dont inflate his ego

chaotic dumbass #2: cmon i deserve this after all the bullying i go thru :((

head honcho: awww what an adorable and talented king!!!

jeongin: not as cute as me but hes pretty cute ^-^

seungmin: ig hes ok

felix: perhaps i uwud

chaotic dumbass #2: !!!

chaotic dumbass #2: @much regretti dad look im actually not being bullied for once!!

much regretti: yeh I see that

chaotic dumbass #2: love u guys MWAH <3

seungmin: ew keep ur kisses to urself

chaotic dumbass #2: >:(

felix: seungmin only wants kisses from one (1) boi

head honcho: oh?

seungmin: Felix.

felix: i didnt do it officer

chaotic dumbass #1: thats my line

felix: says who

chaotic dumbass #1: says ME bitch

felix: square up hoe

chaotic dumbass #1: meet me in the dennys back lot

felix: (ง •̀_•́)ง

much regretti: No fighting, kids

chaotic dumbass #1: but DAD >:((((

much regretti: N o

chaotic dumbass #2: speaking of dad!!

much regretti: i regret saying anything

chaotic dumbass #2: chan u should go next :DDD

felix: YES

much regretti: i dont get a choice do i

head honcho: not rlly, no lmao

much regretti: s i  g h

woojin: rip

much regretti: Fine okay hello

much regretti: I’m Chan, I’m your dad starting right now, and I’m from Australia

chaotic dumbass #1: u are my daaad

chaotic dumbass #2: UR MY DAD

felix: BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

captain (america): is it possible to unsee a conversation

felix: >:D

much regretti: 

head honcho: ooo

chaotic dumbass #1: oh shit ur hot

seungmin: can u be Any more subtle

much regretti: aslfjs Thank,,

woojin: ah

much regretti: Hm?

woojin: nothing

woojin: i remember when you took that picture tho

woojin: you look rlly good

much regretti: Asjflkjd

felix: chan.exe has stopped working

chaotic dumbass #2: chan machine Broke

captain (america): fucking rip

jeongin: #top10animedeaths

head honcho: chan is dead and we killed him

woojin: i guess that was my fault?

much regretti: im NOT broked thanks

much regretti: you didn't do anything wooj youre fine

much regretti: not like Fine fine i just mean fine like you didn’t do anything wrong

much regretti: but ur also Fine fine dont get me wrong!!!

much regretti: im fine!!!!!

chaotic dumbass #1: ‘broked’

woojin: ight if you say so,,

captain (america): who wants to bet that chan looks like a tomato rn

much regretti: i dONT

seungmin: and i thought minho was a disaster gay

chaotic dumbass #1: always the same shit

felix: i cant fuckin brEA THE

woojin: anyway uhh ?? i’ll go next i guess

woojin: to make up for breaking chan

much regretti: i M N O T B R OK E

woojin: you’re a college student you are very much broke

much regretti: N

felix: one (1) singular n

jeongin: ominous,,

head honcho: jlkjaklfjs

head honcho: this is a mess uhg

captain (america): u just now noticed?

head honcho: shush

head honcho: n e gays go on woojin

woojin: :’)

woojin: hi i’m woojin, im your mom starting Right Now, and chicken in my one true love <3

chaotic dumbass #2: and chan

much regretti: E h a t

woojin: what was that :)

chaotic dumbass #2: no tH inG

chaotic dumbass #1: wait if ur our mom,,

woojin: no

woojin: Dont finish that statement

chaotic dumbass #1: yes mother

woojin: 

chaotic dumbass #2: mom !!!

felix: there go my uwus

much regretti: Aaaaakldjslf

head honcho: tbh u kinda look like a bear

head honcho: like in a good way

head honcho: like cuddly and soff

much regretti: he IS tho

much regretti: Very cuddly and soft and cute

woojin: djklsj aa thanks channie,,,

much regretti: fkjdslj

chaotic dumbass #1: im Not the only one seeing this right

jeongin: nope

captain (america): just throwing it out there that they Arent dating

head honcho: wrow

much regretti: why would we be dating??

woojin: nobody said anything about dating ;;;

captain (america): this is what jisung and i deal with

felix: i pray for u

captain (america): thanks .

woojin’s user has been changed to mama bear.

mama bear: im alright with this

chaotic dumbass #2: WE NEED AN ANIMAL FOR CHAN

felix: kangaroo

chaotic dumbass #2: GENIUS

much regretti: wh-

much regretti’s user has been changed to papa kangaroo.

papa kangaroo: O h

head honcho: ok thats cute as FUCK ngl

chaotic dumbass #1: mayhaps im crying

captain (america): please wake me up when they finally get married

papa kangaroo: ljklsdjf??

mama bear: who’s getting married? :))

captain (america): not you and chan absolutely not haha

bus buddies (the antisocial social club)

antisocial: ladies and gentlemen: my two dumbass friends who have been pining for each other for literal years

social: ouch

social: are they really that oblivious??

antisocial: you should see them in real life.

social: idk if i want to

antisocial: u Dont

antisocial: trust me.

social: fskljdfls

social: well

social: looks like we have our work cut out for us

Chapter Text

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

chaotic dumbass #2: NE GAYS

felix: seungmin should go next

seungmin: what Why

felix: because >:)

seungmin: why dont you go next H m

head honcho: minnniieee show them ur adorable face :((

chaotic dumbass #1: 👀

seungmin:

seungmin: actually nvm ill just get it over with

jeongin: oh Worm?

felix: >:))

chaotic dumbass #1: tea

captain (america): whipped

chaotic dumbass #1: we been knew

seungmin: yall better lock ur doors tonight :)

jeongin: wow im terrified!

seungmin: im seungmin and i Dislike You All

felix: thanks for the validation Mother

head honcho: hes a good singer!!

seungmin: im not but go off ig

chaotic dumbass #2: I THOUTH THAT SAID SINNER AHDHSBS

felix: AKHSJS

jeongin: we dont call him satan for nothing :’)

seungmin ’s name has been changed to satan .

satan: the joke is old but ight

head honcho: almighty satan, show thy face

satan: only bc u asked so nicely ://

chaotic dumbass #1: wHiPpEd

satan: stfu minhoe

satan:

head honcho: 

jeongin: u had that gif ready didnt u

head honcho: Mayhaps

chaotic dumbass #1: ugh minnie ur cute 😔

chaotic dumbass #2: wow we stan a supportive bf

head honcho: we're not dating tho?

felix: u could be but yall playin

chaotic dumbass #2: wait ur not???

captain (america): jisung ur a dumbass

satan: we Been Knew

satan: also thanks jinnie

head honcho: <33

chaotic dumbass #1: WHAT ABOUT ME I COMPLIMENTED U TOO

satan: yall hear sumn?

chaotic dumbass #1: i

felix: another day, another minho slain

jeongin: fuckign rip

satan: are you implying there are Multiple Minhos?

chaotic dumbass #2: oh no that would be

head honcho: absolutely terrifying

chaotic dumbass #2: i was gonna say not good for my health but 😳

chaotic dumbass #1: ;)))

chaotic dumbass #1: gotta go prep my Minho Army

mama bear: not everyone has introduced themselves tho

chaotic dumbass #1: i already know lixie and innie

mama bear: touchè

jeongin: dont Call me that

chaotic dumbass #1: iNnIe

jeongin: Off With His Head

papa kangaroo: I leave for 5 minutes

head honcho: that, my dear father, was ur first mistake

felix: yikes

jeongin: anyways is it my turn now

papa kangaroo: no let felix go next

felix: what No

felix: jeonginnie can go

jeongin: actually nvm im good go ahead felix

jeongin: gotta save the best for last 😎

chaotic dumbass #1: oof ur gonna get it nobody here likes emojis

head honcho: innie hun ur doing great sweetie!!

chaotic dumbass #1: WHY DO YOU ONLY ATTACK ME

satan: bc everything u do is cringey and everything innie does is cute

jeongin: 😎😎😎

chaotic dumbass #2: unnecessary flex, but alas

papa kangaroo: @felix come back

felix: dammit

papa kangaroo: no cursing in This good christian household

felix: ill do what i want d A d

papa kangaroo: gasp

captain (america): [oof]

mama bear: gasp

chaotic dumbass #2: gASP

satan: gAsP

jeongin: GASP

chaotic dumbass #1: f e l i x how dare u disrespect father

head honcho: gasp

felix: HECK iM SORRY FATHER

chaotic dumbass #2: forgive me father for i have sinned

head honcho: i apologize male parental figure because i have done wrong

chaotic dumbass #1:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

seungmin: minho No

chaotic dumbass #1: sorry daddy ive been naughty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mama bear has kicked chaotic dumbass #1 out of the chat.

mama bear: absolutely not

seungmin: honestly

chaotic dumbass #2: Kahaksjsj RIP SOULMATE

captain (america): wild

papa kangaroo: he had it coming 🤧

head honcho: jshsjsjsj

chaotic dumbass #2: wow we kinda died

satan: finally

papa kangaroo: Seungmin no

satan: seungmin Yes

felix: rip

head honcho: oof we still have to finish our intros

head honcho: who was gonna go?

captain (america): i think felix said he was

felix: siri how do i disappear from this plane of existence

papa kangaroo: You Can't

satan: felix smh why dont u want to introduce urself

felix: aAAAAAA

chaotic dumbass #2: wait we need to add minho back!!

satan: do we Have to

jeongin: unfortunately yes

head honcho: o shit rite

head honcho has added chaotic dumbass #1 to the chat.

chaotic dumbass #1: TOOK YALL LONG ENOUGH

jeongin: u literally had to wait like 30 minutes

chaotic dumbass #1: Took Yall Long Enough

satan: stfu u big baby

chaotic dumbass #1: ive been here for a MINUTE

sata : a minute too long

chaotic dumbass #2: damn seungmin is on fire

head honcho: well that explains why hes so hot

chaotic dumbass #2: what

satan: what

head honcho: what

chaotic dumbass #1: ew go be pining gays somewhere else

satan: What

head honcho: saYS YOU

chaotic dumbass #2: no pining gays in My House

jeongin: hypocritical

mama bear: actually, this is my house, and anyone can be gay and pining as much as they want

head honcho: aw thanks mom :’))

chaotic dumbass #1: nobody respects me :(((

satan: nobody wants to waste their time on a disappointment

head honcho: KAHKSJS GO OFF MINNIE

chaotic dumbass #1: @chaotic dumbass #2 save me :(((

chaotic dumbass #2: awe im sowwy bby do u want a hug uwuwuwu

chaotic dumbass #1: yes bls uwu

captain (america): discostang

felix: bicth disgUstin

jeongin: gross

felix: ok um

jeongin: actually felix i can go u can go last

felix: wot

head honcho: oof?

chaotic dumbass #2: why tho?

jeongin: i feel it in my veins… i'm destined to go second…. otherwise Bad Things will happen…

chaotic dumbass #1: ominous

felix: marty im scared

jeongin: also first is the worst second is the best 😎

satan: h e y

chaotic dumbass #2: third is the one with the harry chest?

chaotic dumbass #2: wait

satan: i am surrounded by Idiots

captain (america): harry.

head honcho: BKSJSJSJ

head honcho: UR A WIZARD ARRY

papa kangaroo: I'm a hwot?

chaotic dumbass #2: SGASHS BYE

jeongin: hairy* but yes i dont want a hairy chest thanks 🗿

jeongin: or a harry one

head honcho: well! thats an image

mama bear: why are you even thinking about that?

head honcho: thats the gay agenda

mama bear: ight

jeongin: k so

jeongin: im jeongin and i like trot

satan: nice

felix: jeongin? more like jeongout

jeongin: i wish i could jeongout of this chat

captain (america): me too buddy

jeongin ’s name has been changed to jeongout .

jeongout: lit

jeongout: 

head honcho: baby boy uwuwu

papa kangaroo: YOU'RE SO SMALL

jeongout: im 18

papa kangaroo: S M A L L

mama bear: no chan we cant adopt him

papa kangaroo: But-

jeongout: im already a legal adult 🗿

papa kangaroo: D:

jeongout: …

jeongout: ill let you cook me meals?

papa kangaroo: :D

jeongout: Sometimes

captain (america): oh no does this mean chans kitchen will return

chaotic dumbass #2: HELL YEAH CHANS KITCHEN IS MY FAVORITE KITCHEN

satan: chans what now

chaotic dumbass #1: it says Kitchen cant u read

satan: much better than u can

jeongout: #oof

chaotic dumbass #2: anyways ur cute jeongin

chaotic dumbass #2: now last but not least

chaotic dumbass #1: mr hairy chest

head honcho: harry chest

felix ’s name has been changed to harry chest man .

harry chest man: lIstEn-

satan: if only jisung wasnt so illiterate

satan: u wouldnt have to suffer

chaotic dumbass #2: JSHSJS IM SORRY BRO

harry chest man: ill live i guess 😔

harry chest man: anyways hi my name is felix and i have a hella deep voice according to everyone else

jeongout: his voice is lower than my self esteem

mama bear: jeongin honey are you ok

jeongout: Are Any Of Us

head honcho: oh worm

chaotic dumbass #1: his voice can go lower than my grades

chaotic dumbass #2: how low can ur grades go tho

chaotic dumbass #1: my lowest grade ever was like a 20

chaotic dumbass #2: damn

chaotic dumbass #2: low

captain (america): and i thought jisung was dumb

chaotic dumbass #2: hEy

jeongout: u cant outdumb minho

satan: say it louder for the people in the back

chaotic dumbass #1: ill Kill u

head honcho: u will do no such thing

chaotic dumbass #1: try and stop me bIsh

mama bear: there will be !!! no killing !!!

chaotic dumbass #1: yes mom

head honcho: powerful,,,,

papa kangaroo: Minho we discussed this ://// ur grades are important

chaotic dumbass #1: in MY defense i was like 8

chaotic dumbass #1: 8 year old me couldn't grasp the concept of multiplication

satan: u sure thats not 23 year old you?

chaotic dumbass #1: B y e .

harry chest man: minho thinks 1 x 6 is 7

chaotic dumbass #1: i do NOT akshkshs

captain (america): pretty sure thats addition

jeongout: minho doesnt know addition either!!!

head honcho: Jahsjjs

chaotic dumbass #2: akhsjsjs

chaotic dumbass #1: yes i DO

chaotic dumbass #2: i know me + jisungie = true love <3

chaotic dumbass #1: JSHSKHSJS MY UWUS

harry chest man: do i laugh or do i cry

jeongout: both . both is good

mama bear: well thats disgustingly adorable

captain (america): as if ur any better,,,

mama bear: :)?

captain (america): i said Nothing

satan: ew nobody wants to see ur flirting

jeongout: yes agreed

papa kangaroo: No flirting in front of the child :///

chaotic dumbass #2: I HAD NO PART IN THIS

satan: oh but u Did

chaotic dumbass #1: uwu

knees weak… arms heavy....

must forgetti: AAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK

captain (america): fellas i think hes gay

must forgetti: [bold, italics, cursive, 72 pt font, neon green] F U C K

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

harry chest man: 

harry chest man: o yeah also im chans cousin

papa kangaroo: ^

head honcho: o thats cool :0

mama bear: youre really cute felix! i cant really see the resemblance tho lol

chaotic dumbass #1: mother ur eyesight is failing u

mama bear: im not that much older than you :)

harry chest man: ty woojin jshsjs and yeah i get that a lot

captain (america): oh ur cute

satan: thats nice of u to say mr straight

captain (america): Let me l i v e

chaotic dumbass #1: #heyeropgobos at its finest

jeongout: heyer What Now

head honcho: whats that supposed to be??

chaotic dumbass #1: my keyboard giving up on me

harry chest man: mood

harry chest man: also ty @captain (america)

chaotic dumbass #2: UMMM UR A WHOLE CUTIE AND A HALF @felix

harry chest man: KSHSJS TY

chaotic dumbass #2: ARE THOSE FRECKS

harry chest man: MAYHAPS

head honcho: yes they are 👀

chaotic dumbass #2: WOW IM GAY

chaotic dumbass #2: IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO ASCEND TO HEAVEN

satan: you wouldnt know

head honcho: KSHJSJ

chaotic dumbass #1: @felix where did you get your freckles

chaotic dumbass #1: asking for a friend

jeongout: sure jan

harry chest man: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

papa kangaroo: oh no

harry chest man: i got it from my daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mama bear: Absolutely Not

jeongout: Why did you make me Read That with my own Two Eyes

head honcho: Cursed

harry chest man: JSHS

satan: um

satan: are yall okay

harry chest man: ill Never be okay but continue

chaotic dumbass #1: Oh Worm?

chaotic dumbass #2: minho my soulmate bby do u need to talk to someone? :(((

harry chest man: wow i see how it is

head honcho: fuckin rip lmao

chaotic dumbass #1: suddenly my skin is cleared, my crops are watered, my depression is gone, ive seen the light

satan: i think thats called being whipped

jeongout: or in love

satan: same difference

chaotic dumbass #1: St f u

chaotic dumbass #2: so ur fine? :(

chaotic dumbass #1: yes baby im fine ty for worrying <3

chaotic dumbass #2: <3

captain (america): i cant believe minsung is making more progress than woochan and theyve only known each other for a day

harry chest man: it rly be like that sometimes

head honcho: it rly do

knees weak… arms heavy…

must forgetti: FUCK I CALEKLS HIK BABY ISBTHIA WHAT IT FEEKS LIKE TO SIE

french baguettei: pretty sure dying is more painful

must forgetti: STfu THISBIS PAINFUL EJOUG

moms spaghetti: he called you baby first?

must forgetti: THAT DOENST HELP

must forgetti’s name has been changed to disaster gay .

disaster gay: I SONT NEED THE REMINDER KAREN

disaster gay: AAAAAAAAA

Chapter Text

#bigdumbassenergy

sandwich thief: hi quick question

sandwich thief: did jisung dye his hair

stan: idk

stan: why dont you like, oh i dunno, Ask Jisung instead of asking us

hyunny: sister snapped

sandwich thief: sister stfu

sandwich thief: and i CANT ask him thats weird

slippery snek: how is it even weird

sandwich thief: it just is

slippery snek: it rlly isnt but go off ig

sandwich thief: n e gays

sandwich thief: im just asking bc i thought i saw him earlier but he had dark hair instead of blonde so

sandwich thief: just wanted to know if anyone knew smth

dead meat: whats this about jisung and hair

stan: just minho bein a dumbass again

sandwich thief: hEy

hyunny: what else is new?

knees weak… arms heavy…

disaster gay: be saw me an dge did a double take

disaster gay: i dQnt ghink he knew it was me skhzjsjs

french baguettei: u rlly out here being illiterate arent u

disaster gay: shUsH

moms spaghetti: and you still havent told him because..?

disaster gay: i just want it to be a surprise is that so much to ask for 😔👉👈

french baguettei: you just want to get his dick hard

moms spaghetti: Absolutely Not

much regretti: THIS IS A CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

disaster gay: KAHSKSNAJ NO IDNOT STFU 🗿

french baguettei: sure jan .

disaster gay: UGHHGHHGGG

much regretti: really though i dont understand why you havent said anything yet

disaster gay: CAUSE

disaster gay: i want it to be unexpected 💀💀

french baguettei: 911 this Squirrel wants to kill people with his good looks

disaster gay: gAsp

disaster gay: did u just …. admit ….. that im handsome????

french baguettei: nonexistent* good looks

disaster gay: it was worth a shot i guess :’(

moms spaghetti: its okay sungie, hes a Straight anyway

french baguettei: yall rlly won't let me live

much regretti: it was kind of a dumb idea tho

french baguettei: i hate when ur right

french baguettei ’s name has been changed to heterodumb .

heterodumb: i keep screaming but god never answers

disaster gay: thats rough buddy ://

private chat: a tired mother and her ungrateful son

(b)Rat: woojin did jisung dye his hair

old hag: why yes minho, my day has been great so far! thanks for asking!

(b)Rat: a simple yes or no wouldve done

(b)Rat: woojin?

(b)Rat: UGH FINE

(b)Rat: hOw wAs yOuR dAy mOtHer?

old hag: it couldve been better :/

(b)Rat: oh mood

old hag: thanks for asking tho :)

(b)Rat: only bc u would have my head in if i didnt

woojin: dont disrespect ur mom ://

(b)Rat: yeah yeah w/e

(b)Rat: 🙄

old hag: im asking hyunjin for a spare key

old hag: im dropping by tonight :)

(b)Rat: no wait pleas

old hag: :)))

(b)Rat: :((

(b)Rat: fine can u at least answer my question before u murder me

old hag: hmmm

old hag: what was the question again? 😇

(b)Rat: scroll up hoe

old hag: youre the only hoe here

(b)Rat: xcuse u i am Loyal to jisung and jisung only

old hag: that's not what ur bts poster would have to say ://

(b)Rat: stfu 🗿

old hag: why do you asked abt jisungs hair tho

(b)Rat: bc

(b)Rat: i thought i saw him earlier but the person had dark hair instead of blonde so i was just wondering

(b)Rat: he hasnt said anything in the gc yet but i figured if he Did dye it youd be the firt to know

old hag: damn right i would

old hag: but alas he hasnt

old hag: as far as i'm concerned

(b)Rat: o ok

(b)Rat: well this is awkward now

old hag: indeed

(b)Rat: ill just . back away slowly

(b)Rat: tganks mother

old hag: yw Brat

the gays except for changbin, our token straight

harry chest man: @chaotic dumbass #2 BRO WHERE R U

chaotic dumbass #2: IM COMING SKDHJS I THINK I SEE YOU

harry chest man: GOOD BEVAUSE I HATE BEING IN CROWDS ALONE

head honcho: how can u be alone in a crowd of people tho

harry chest man: lIsTeN

chaotic dumbass #1: and yall say im the dumbass

harry chest man: I DONT KNOW ANYONE HERE I MIGHT AS WELL BE ALONE

satan: um

satan: context?

papa kangaroo: lix and sung are meeting up at the farmers market since they have some kind of event

harry chest man: im just in it for the free food 😤

head honcho: WHAT

head honcho: THERES FREE FOOD WHY DIDNT YALL INVITE ME

captain (america): gosh i wonder why

head honcho: GASP

head honcho: i trusted u changbin :(

captain (america): mistake #1

satan: changbin ill Kill u

satan: if it makes u feel any better jinnie, i wouldve taken u if i had actually Known about it

jeongout: seungmin? willingly admitting he'd put time aside for someone who Isn't his family? character development

chaotic dumbass #1: we love a whipped man 😣

satan: yall better back tf up before u get Smacked tf up

mama bear: no smacking in this house

chaotic dumbass #1: kinky

mama bear: ://///

head honcho: AW ty minnie <333

head honcho: @harry chest man @chaotic dumbass #2 YALL BETTER BRING ME SMTH BACK

chaotic dumbass #2: aye aye captn

harry chest man: JISUNG AKDHJSS WHERE ARE YOU

chaotic dumbass #2: IM LITERALLY !!!! WAVING TO U !!!!

harry chest man: i dOnT SEE YOU

satan: maybe you should get some new glasses, grandma

harry chest man: STFU IM LIKE A WEEK OLDER THAN U AAAA

jeongout: is it that hard to spot jisung in a crowd

captain (america): hes just that short ig💀

papa kangaroo: Says you?

head honcho: OOF

chaitic dumbass #2: FELIX CMON MAN

harry chest man: I ONLY SEE A DARK HAIRED PERSON WAVING TO ME JISUNG WHERE ARE YOU

mama bear: wait for it

harry chest man: waiT-

papa kangaroo: There It Is

harry chest man: OH MY FIXJSKSSMSJNS

captain (america): lmaoo rip

harry chest man: HOKY FUKNIGN SHIT HOW DO I BREATHE

harry chest man: WHAT THE FUCK IMSO FUKCINFG AYYYYYY

chaotic dumbass #1: Hands Off my man

head honcho: WHAT

satan: is he dying?

jeongout: finally

head honcho: I AM CONFUSION PLEASE HELP

chaotic dumbass #2: KAGSJSHHAHA HIS FACE IS BRIGHT RED MY LUNNGS

head honcho: WHAT'S GOING ON SPILL THE TEA

harry chest man: JSNUG STPP TAKING POCTURES OF ME

chaotic dumbass #2: ;)))

chaotic dumbass #2: RLLY THO U LOOK LIKE A TOMATO

harry chest man: STFUDISHSUKSS MY POOR GAY HEART CANNOT HABFLE

satan: im convinced yall are having a stroke

jeongout: jisungs friends have been awfully quiet

papa kangaroo: 👀

head honcho: DO YALL KNOW SMTH

papa kangaroo: W e l l ll  l l

papa kangaroo: perhaps jisung dyed his hair

head honcho: O H WORM?

chaotic dumbass #1: whAT

chaotic dumbass #1: HEY WOOJIN

mama bear: uwu

chaotic dumbass #1: I TRSUUSTED UUUU

mama bear: IN MY DEFENSE HE WANTED TO KEEP IT A SECRET

chaotic dumbass #2: hi we're back

satan: is felix alive?

harry chest man: barely

jeongout  damn

jeongout: too bad

chaotic dumbass #1: jISUNG WHATS THIS AOUT DYED HAIR

chaotic dumbass #2: hm?

chaotic dumbass #2: OH jdhdkdjdjd

chaotic dumbass #2: i dyed my hair 👀👀

head honcho: WHEN

head honcho: WHAT COLOR

head honcho: DOES IT LOOK GOOD

harry chest man: it looks so good im so fuckungb gay

chaotic dumbass #1: stay in ur fuckign Lane

chaotic dumbass #2: aww dont be jelly baby uwu

chaotic dumbass #2: n e gays show em the pic we took together lix

harry chest man: ight

harry chest man: prepare urselves

satan: i doubt hes hotter than jinnie ://

jeongout: ew

head honcho: what

mama bear: what

satan: what

chaotic dumbass #1: oh for the love of god just kiss already

satan: he says, yet he makes no move to kiss jisung

chaotic dumbass #1: im goign to SCREAM

harry chest man: 

chaotic dumbass #1: UPDATE IM SC R E AM ING

harry chest man: squish uwu

head honcho: HOKY SHIT

satan: WOW

satan: that looks . really good

jeongout: ok im gonna be Real With Yall thats really hot but like just bc i said that doesnt mean id date you so yeah minho please dont come for me

chaotic dumbass #1: ur lucky ur Cute

chaotic dumbass #2: uwu tHANKS

head honcho: DARK BLUE?

chaotic dumbass #2: yEAH

head honcho: JMSHSJSJ UGH IT LOOKS SO GOOD I STAN 😔

head honcho: maybe i should dye mine to dark blue too? 💀

chaotic dumbass #2: YES we can be twins n ill help u

satan: guess ill go dig my grave then

jeongout: He Shall Perish

mama bear: ominous :/

chaotic dumbass #1: omg im not okay rnnnnnn chaotic dumbass #1: ITS LOOKS SO GODO

chaotic dumbass #2: aww thank you uwuwu

chaotic dumbass #1: but like

chaotic dumbass #2: ?

chaotic dumbass #1: can i ask u smth

chaotic dumbass #2: sure

chaotic dumbass #2: u can go ahead n slide into my dms

chaotic dumbass #1: lit

head honcho: dont have too much fun 👀

private chat: minsung is superior <3

god himself: whhy didn u tell me :(((

cutest squirrel: IM SORRY ADJSHSH

cutest squirrel: i wantedit to be a surprise :((

cutest squirrel: the othergroup only knew bc theyre the Ogs ™

cutest squirrel: ...plus i needed woochans permission and changbin hadto help me

god himself: kshshs yall rlly are a family

cutest squirrel: i deny this statement

god himself: whatever u say jan

cutest squirrel: n E gAyS

cutest squirrel: was that it

god himself: yeah ig

cutest squirrel: please dont take it personally :(

cutest squirrel: i was planning to tell everyone

cutest squirrel: actually ,, i waskinda worried abt telling everyone

god himself: wh

god himself: whY

cutest squirrel: BC

cutest squirrel: i was,,, kind of worried abt how youd react,,,??? 👉👈

cutest squirrel: bc ur constantlt praising my blonde hair n i didnt know how youd feel if i changed it :((

cutest squirrel: its kinda childish but ,, haha

god himself: oh jisungie :(

god himself: u know i adore u right

god himself: u dont need to worry abt what ill think bc ill support anything u do as long as its not Illegal or anything

cutest squirrel: ssnsksjsm

god himself: and u could literally pull off like . any hair color

god himself: yes i love ur blonde hair but F u c k your blue hair looks so good too

god himself: u in general just look really good

god himself: stop being so hot >:(((

god himself: its doing things to my heart

cutest squirrel: ajshsjshs im blushing stOp

god himself: no u

cutest squirrel: but hhh thanks minho :(

god himself: anything for u jisungie :(

cutest squirrel: ily :((

god himself: ily more :((

cutest squirrel: but ily the most

god himself: but ily the mostest

cutest squirrel: we've been over this Sweetie ily the mostestest

god himself: lies u cant love me more than i love u

cutest squirrel: yeah i can swuare up THOT

god himself: U CANT EVEN SPELL RIGHT

cutest squirrel: SHUT UP NSJSJSJNS FIGHT ME

god himself: MEET ME IN THE DENNYS PARKING LOT

cutest squirrel: UR ON BITDH