Work Text:
Hi sweetie! Hey, um, could you hurry home? I know you’re busy finishing up right now, I just, ah… ha-ha. See, there’s, um, a really big spider that’s definitely going to kill me if I get off the kitchen counter. It hasn’t moved for the last five minutes, so, yeah. Uh… Okay, I know, I know, you said I need to try and face my fears, but… can you please take care of it? Ah! It’s moving! Logan! Please come save me!
Logan didn’t have many of Patton’s voicemails.
He used to; he had kept every single one from when they first started dating, but one day, a phone technician accidentally cleared them all out while fixing a problem with Logan’s phone. Patton had said it was okay, since Logan could hear Patton’s voice in person every day.
It wasn’t long after that…
Logan lowered the phone to his lap and stared out over the lake. The ducks he had fed earlier with the bag of peas had all returned to swimming in the water. Logan’s eyes burned with the threat of tears.
“I miss you,” he said, and his vision blurred.
He had listened to the voicemail while walking up the stairs to his apartment. He had laughed, but had picked up the pace to help Patton with the spider. But when he reached the door, it almost knocked him over as someone rushed out, his gloved hands covered with blood.
That guy was never found. Logan had rushed into the apartment instead, to find Patton on the kitchen floor. Patton, the most wonderful, kind, and important person in the world…
Logan leaned his head back and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. He stood up abruptly and walked out of the park, back to his car. As he turned the key in the ignition, his hand lingered over the kitten charm on his key ring. That had become a habitual action since... Something to replace how Patton would kiss his hand, saying he was blessing Logan with a safe drive.
Logan never appreciated that enough. He remembered how he would sometimes scoff and tell Patton, “I’m the safest driver you’ll ever meet, I don’t need to be blessed” and Patton would smile and say, “But I want to bless you anyway.”
Every second of his time with Patton was a blessing.
The car was silent as he drove the familiar route to the cemetery. He didn’t play his music, and he didn’t play the radio. Both of them were too full of memories. He knew the last thing he needed while driving was to break down and start crying. After all, he was the safest driver in the world.
Logan parked his car and walked at a brisk pace to where Patton--to the place. He wasn’t fast enough to save him, but he could be fast enough not to leave him alone for long.
Patton’s grave site was on a hill, in the sun. The headstone was decorated with flowers, birds, and a rainbow, which Logan knows Patton would have liked. Behind the stone was a rose bush, which Logan planted during the funeral. It had been over a year since then, and the bush had grown and was starting to form buds. Logan gently touched one of them.
“Hi, Patton,” Logan said. “Your roses are going to bloom soon. They’re going to look so...” he stopped before his voice broke into a sob. “I know you’d love to see them. They’ll always be here… with you. I… I’m so sorry.”
Logan’s mouth trembled and he sank to his knees in front of Patton’s name on the headstone.
“I’m sorry, Patton,” Logan said. “I’m so sorry. I should have… I’m so sorry you were alone.”
His shoulders shook as he wept.