Work Text:
This isn't the first time Mat has run away from home. It's not the first time he's meant it either. But it's the first time he's going to succeed.
The other times, he fucked up and went to people he knew or places he frequented. He’s learned better. He left home on foot, with hours until anyone would notice his disappearance. Now he’s miles away, walking down an unfamiliar road with a backpack full of clothes and cash. No phone. No ID.
There’s nobody around at this hour, which is great. He hasn’t seen too many cars or people since leaving, which is even better. His chances are feeling good, but even if something goes wrong, he’s going to fight to keep from going back there.
Mat looks behind him again. Still nobody on this road. Good. It’s one of those back roads that takes people who drive their cars too fast from one nowhere to another. Rickety power lines on one side and ground littered with cigarette butts that have been here for years and will be here for years to come.
The sun is starting to sink towards the horizon, and Mat knows it’ll get cold tonight, but he can deal with cold.
Mat tugs on the straps of his backpack as he continues walking. It’s pretty peaceful out here.
Then, a noise breaks through the silence. The engine of a car. Mat tenses, and then turns around to see. Either he’s going to ignore it and hope it ignores him, or he’s going to run for the trees beyond the power lines.
It’s a white van. Mat breathes a sigh of relief. Nothing to worry about. He turns back the way he’s been walking. The sound of the engine grows louder as the van comes closer. Mat expects it’ll just drive past, just like the other cars that passed him before he got on this road.
But it doesn’t. The van comes to a stop beside Mat, engine idling. Curious and maybe a little nervous, Mat looks over just as the front passenger door opens. A guy steps out and walks around the front of the car to where Mat is.
The guy is taller than Mat, and maybe the same age as him. His hands are hooked into the pockets of his sweatpants, and his feet are bare, which must be painful on the asphalt. His eyes seem tired, but they’re shining with life. His posture is slumped and relaxed. He’s smiling, and something in that smile makes Mat’s heart leap.
God, there’s… There's something about this guy that immediately draws Mat’s attention. Besides the fact that he got out of his van to walk up to some guy on the side of the road. Mat can't quite put his finger on what he’s feeling. But this guy… Mat already knows if he loses this guy, he'll regret it for the rest of his life.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
The guy sticks his thumb at the van. “We're heading out. Wanna come with?”
Mat knows nothing about this guy, nothing about who “we” are, nothing except the odd way that the guy seems to be calling to him. Nothing except his deep desperation to leave.
Mat smiles back.
“Sure. Thanks.”
~~~~~
The guy’s name is Brian.
He and his friends--an odd assortment of people crammed into the van, sitting on an old mattress someone put on the floor instead of seats--are just driving around, no destination in mind. Mat only asks Brian once where they’re going and Brian just shrugs and says “I don’t know. Wherever the road takes us, I guess.”
Good enough for Mat.
The radio plays music and the people in the van talk about anything and everything. They all seem to be focused on Brian, even though he sits at the edge of the cluster with an arm around Mat’s shoulder. Like he’s the brightest thing in the whole world. Mat can feel that though, and he feels like he’s never been more alive with Brian smiling at him and asking him what he thinks about swimming at the beach.
“Oh, hey, you want something to eat?” Brian asks suddenly, bringing Mat out of a daze.
“Uh,” Mat didn’t even realize how long it’s been since he ate that morning. “Yeah, sure.”
Someone hands over a cooler and Brian offers it to Mat. It’s filled with cans that are probably beer, bags of takeout, and groceries that look like they came from a gas station mart. Mat digs in. Brian also helps himself to the food, and eventually Mat passes it back into the crowd.
“Thanks,” Mat says.
Brian smiles at him and pats his shoulder. “Don’t you worry about a thing, long as you’re with us.”
Mat nods, even as his mind replaces the ‘us’ that Brian said to ‘me.’ It feels right like that.
~~~~~
Mat wakes up in the middle of the night. He blinks slowly, taking in the people crowded in the back. He could have sworn… no. He shifts and realizes with a start that he fell asleep against Brian.
Brian laughs as Mat quickly, embarrassedly, extracts himself from his side.
“Sorry,” he says.
“You’re good,” Brian says, pulling Mat into a loose hug. “It was cute.” He messes with Mat’s hair before he lets him go.
Mat chuckles back and reaches up to touch his hair where Brian touched him. God, it felt like… like electricity or something.
Mat looks at the people around them, some of which are cooing at how adorable Mat looked while he was asleep. Some of them are definitely new. As in, Mat is sure they weren’t in here before he fell asleep.
“Did we, uh, stop while I was out?” Mat asks.
Brian shakes his head. “Nah, but we can if you want. Get out and walk around a bit.” He stretches his back and groans.
Mat straightens up to look out through the windows. The van is driving over a bridge, lit on the sides by dim yellow lights. Mat doesn’t recognize it.
“Where are we?”
“On the road,” someone jokes.
“Somewhere,” someone else says.
“Somewhere you’ve never been,” another voice says, and that sends a bit of a chill down Mat’s spine. But then Brian is moving close to him again and leaning over Mat to nudge the person driving.
“Hey, let’s stop once we’re on the other side.”
The van pulls to a stop on the side of the road just past the bridge. Someone opens the side door and half of the people in the van tumble out in a rush, talking excitedly. Brian also gets up and Mat’s chest fills with panic--why--for a split second, but then Brian’s reaching for Mat’s hand and guiding him out.
The sky overhead is filled with more stars than Mat has ever seen in his life. He stares in awe, and then looks down at the scene below. The riverbank is like something out of another world, lit up by thousands of smooth stones that almost glitter with the reflection of the stars. Past the bank is a field full of flowers, all in full bloom despite it being night. And autumn.
Mat is starting to feel lost in it all.
“You okay?” Brian whispers into his ear. Mat jumps in surprise.
Brian laughs again. “Sorry.” His hand tightens on Mat’s, and the overwhelming sensation of this place tones down to a more manageable level. Mat breathes a bit easier.
Brian walks with Mat down to the riverbank. They pick up stones--glassy polished things that Mat would call gems if he didn’t know better--and throw them into the river. It’s nice. Eventually, music starts playing behind them and Mat turns around to see a group of people crowded around a bonfire at the edge of the field. The music is sweet, and makes Mat’s head clear of thoughts. Everything but the alluring melody and--
Brian claps his arm around Mat, bringing him back into the present. “Hey, relax,” he teases, shoving lightly. “Come on, let’s go climb on top of the van and look at the stars.”
~~~~~
There’s a lot of things that Mat would have questioned if… well if Brian didn’t make him feel so comfortable.
There’s the fact that the van never runs out of gas. Mat has been with Brian and his friends for… at least a few weeks, but apart from some late night stops at 7-Eleven marts to get snacks, they’ve never stopped at a gas station. They’ve stopped at a lot more drive-thrus and Waffle Houses than they have at 7-Elevens.
Man, their last Waffle House experience was… really something. The whole place filling up with more and more people who all knew Brian, and Brian pulling Mat over to a table for two and. Yeah.
There’s the fact that the scenery seems to change drastically every time Mat remembers to look out the window. Sometimes they’re on the coast, sometimes they’re deep in the mountains, sometimes they stop and they’re in the desert.
There’s the people in the car who come and go. All of them are friendly and pleasant to be around, and all of them seem to thrive on Brian’s very existence. They light up whenever he talks to one of them, as if it’s the best thing in the world. Mat can’t blame them, because he feels amazing whenever Brian’s attention is on him. But something about the others in the van is different.
He doesn’t think it’s a great idea to wonder too much about them though.
There’s also the fact that the music playing on the radio seems to soothe Mat’s soul. It’s different from the music Brian’s friends play whenever they stop somewhere long enough to take out their instruments. The music that’s always playing softly on the radio pulls at Mat’s memories and feelings, twists them into something new, and leaves him feeling raw but at peace.
Kind of funny, but there’s also the weed that is always tucked away somewhere in the van. At least once a day, they’ll stop and just fill the van with sweet smelling smoke. Mat’s never seen where they all keep it, but he knows for sure he’s never seen anyone have to buy it from someone. It’s just always there.
But all of this… all of these things happening don’t matter. Because every moment, Brian is right there with Mat, talking to him and smiling at him and laughing with him and pulling him into whatever activities he wants to do in that moment.
And Mat doesn’t want to be anywhere else in the world but here with Brian.
~~~~~
They spend at least a week, maybe even a month on a beach nestled in a rocky cove. The sand is fine and warm, the water is perfect, and there’s no end to the things Brian wants to do. Bonfires, fireworks, music, swimming, stargazing, and sometimes just lying in the sand tangled up with Mat. There’s food and drinks and the haze of weed everywhere.
Brian is always in the middle of everything. Some days, it feels like there’s a hundred or more people crowded onto their beach, and they all want to see Brian. Brian goes along with it all, but he also pulls Mat along with him, making sure they’re a pair wherever he goes. Mat definitely feels like it's a privilege, being so close to him. He notices that a few of the newer people who show up at the beach seem envious, the ones who melt when Brian speaks to them.
Brian’s not oblivious to that though. Those people only show up once, and then Mat doesn’t see them again. He knows Brian has something to do with that, even though he never strays too far from Mat’s side.
“You like it out here?” Brian asks Mat one evening as they’re sitting in the sand, watching a group of people build a bonfire.
“Yeah,” Mat says.
“I mean,” Brian looks over and catches Mat’s gaze, his eyes turning desperate in the light of the flames building a short distance away from them. His fingers intertwine with Mat’s and he holds on tight for a moment. “Out… you know. With us.”
With me.
Mat’s head swims and it’s got nothing to do with the beer and the weed and the fact that he’s been jumping off the rocky cliff into the water with Brian all day.
“Yeah.”
~~~~~
Tonight, the van is empty when Mat wakes up. Well, not completely empty. There’s just him and Brian, sitting with the side door open and his legs sticking out of the van. It’s weird seeing how much space there is in the van when there’s nobody there. Mat sits up and crawls over to Brian.
“What’s going on? Where’d everyone go?”
Brian shrugs. “They’re all somewhere.”
They’re always somewhere. Wherever they are when they’re not coming in and out of Brian and Mat’s lives. Mat moves to sit next to Brian, but Brian stands up instead and helps Mat get out of the van.
“Come on,” he says. And he takes Mat’s hand, like he always does whenever they’re going out to explore a new place. But this place…
It feels like it’s about an hour before dawn. There’s a heavy cloud of fog resting over the earth. As Brian and Mat walk out, shapes reveal themselves in the faint light of a crescent moon. A wooden swing set. They’ve stopped at a park, it seems. But with every step Mat takes closer to the swings, he starts to feel a strange sense in his chest.
This place almost feels like where Mat grew up. Maybe not exactly, but he could put these swings not even a block from his old home. It’s weird.
He and Brian walk to the swings and they each sit down in one. Right next to each other.
“Hey, um,” Brian breaks the silence. “I wanted to ask you something. When I, uh… that first day. You didn’t know, did you?”
Mat frowns. Brian probably picked this place deliberately, to have this conversation. Just the two of them. A horrible feeling grips his heart, one that screams I can’t lose you.
Mat looks down at his shoes--the same ones he put on when he left home. At Brian’s feet--bare and pale against the ground. That day is easy to remember. He hasn’t thought much about it since then, but all of the time spent with Brian and his entourage hasn’t worn down that at all. It’s made the events before feel distant, but they’re still very much a part of Mat.
Mat reaches over to take Brian’s hand.
“I knew,” he says. And it’s true. Maybe he didn’t know everything, and maybe he won’t ever know everything. But he knew that he wanted to escape. And that he wanted to be with Brian.
Brian looks over at him. His face cracks into a smile, but it’s sadder than Mat would like it to be.
“I basically stole you away.”
“I wanted it.”
“It’s… it’s not--I can’t--” Brian sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t want to let you go.”
Please never let me go.
Mat isn’t sure whether he or Brian moves first. They both lean towards each other, crossing the foot of space between them. Their lips meet in a kiss, gentle and hesitant. Mat reaches up to catch Brian’s jaw and he holds it close to him, encouraging. Brian pulls back, but his lips still brush against Mat’s as he whispers,
“I love you.”