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It had taken an intense battle for Tony to notice and even then, it almost slipped past him. They were exhausted, all of them. Blood and sweat dripped steadily from their bruised and battered bodies, the Avengers were decidedly waning in strength and desperation had begun to slide onto their weary faces. The only exception, however, was Stephen who stood at Tony’s side looking wholly unaffected but for the smudge of dirt on his cheek. Tony found that to be more then a little unfair.
“Any plans guys?” Rogers grunted as he parried a blow from one of the unfortunately grey and hairy humanoid creatures.
There was a chorus of frustrated “Nos.”
As it was, their little defensive circle was made up only of Tony, Steve, Clint, Romanov and Stephen. They had sent Wanda, Thor, and Bruce to deal with the mothership, a decision they all were regretting at the moment.
“Tony.” He glanced at Stephen, while he blasted another creature that got a little too close. They were more careful now, but their forces were growing and soon enough they would ambush in a wave, definitively overwhelming them.
“Yeah?”
Stephen’s hands came up and began making complicated runes. “I’m going to need you to catch me. Oh, and call Wong.”
“What?” Tony’s whole body turned to Stephen but before he could say anything else everything seemed to be suspended.
Tony stared through his mask at Stephen as the man lifted his arms dramatically and seemed to push, his who body shoving forward with a flaring Cloak behind him. There was a piercing ringing in his ears and then a bright orange light emanating for his lover. As he watched the nearly eighty creatures that had been surrounding them began to fade as though they never existed in the first place.
It was not Tony’s primary concern. It felt as though everything had slowed immensely leaving Tony no reaction time as Stephen’s knees buckled, his face scrunched up in pain and he fell face first into the soft grass before him. Tony’s heart began to pound against his chest.
All at once time snapped back, the ringing stopped, and Tony was by Stephen’s side in a heartbeat, mask pulled back, and frantically turning him over. He sensed the others crowding close, but Tony ignored them in favour of finding a pulse, which he did but Stephen’s breath was still shaky as it came in and out.
A portal opened, and Wong stepped through to Tony’s relief, grateful FRIDAY had taken the initiative to call for him, he had been too panicked to react.
Twenty minutes later Tony’s suit was gone, and he found himself at Stephen’s beside where he was tucked carefully beneath the covers. There was a pitcher of water on the nightstand for when Stephen wakes up, and a cloth was being gripped tightly in Tony’s hand. There was a sickly sheen of sweat on his lover’s pale face that Tony dutifully dabbed away with the cool water, happy that he could feel useful.
It was sitting there, stomach turning uneasily that Tony noticed it for the first time. He had been gently rubbing the dirt spot from Stephen’s cheek while his free hand ran soothing fingers through his soft hair. Tony was staring at his face, willing the man to wake up when something caught his eye. Beneath his horrified gaze Tony watched as the familiar grey streaks in Stephen’s hair slowly began to spread, reaching the ends of the strands and beginning to pepper itself further throughout.
Tony snatched his hand back. He watched uncomprehendingly until it stopped, leaving not so subtle highlights that if he was anywhere else Tony would not have noticed. Shaking slightly Tony stood until he could get a better angle on Stephen’s hair and he realized the same thing had happened on the other side.
Feeling decidedly numb Tony sat back down on weak limbs. He found himself staring at his Sorcerer, mind whirring unbearably. He was not a stupid man, he was more then capable of putting together why his lover’s hair was greying so quickly.
Stephen had told him once, with what Tony had thought was a strange sense of gravity at the time, that magic was not without its limits and it was just as likely to take as it was to give. He hadn’t considered what it meant in the practical sense, had never seen Stephen falter under difficult spells until today. He had seen him exhausted and tired of course, but he always tallied that up to magic not being so different from physical exertion.
Now as he looked at him Tony felt bile rise up at the back of his throat and tears burn his eyes. He was angry, undeniably so, wanted to demand answers from Stephen, ask questions he should have long ago, but more then that he wanted to beg the man to fucking stop. Tony wasn’t sure if he could handle it if Stephen’s magic was killing him slowly, he would trade his own life if it meant keeping his lover well.
Yet, even as he thought it another memory rose to the surface. Tony had been injured badly in a battle and Stephen had been deadly silent for the hour afterwards while he helped clean him up. Tony had been expecting a lecture, similar to the ones Pepper used to give, but the man had remained resolutely silent. It had filled him with a strange sense of peace, not to have to explain himself to Stephen. Now he wondered if he could do the same for him.
“Tony?”
Stephen’s dry and horse voice yanked Tony from his mind like a whip. He was leaning forward to grab one of his trembling hands in a heartbeat. “Hey love, are you ok?”
His eyes rolled toward the nightstand and Tony quickly poured him a glass of water. He helped him sit up slightly before administering small sips. Eventually he pushed it away after about half the glass was gone.
“Thank you.” He was already more alert, voice gaining its usual energy. “Is everyone alright?”
Tony offered the man a tight smile, still gripping his hand. “As if you even need to ask. You managed to remove every creature in the area.”
A small victorious smile appeared on his lips and Tony couldn’t take it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was quiet, an attempt to keep accusation out of his tone.
Stephen stared at him blankly, but Tony didn’t dare expand knowing exactly how it would sound with the heated emotions rolling through him. Something sparked in the Sorcerer’s eyes and realization dawned, Tony watched grimly as the other man averted his gaze.
In a move that was remarkably self-conscious for the one Stephen Strange, he lifted his free hand to push tentatively through his hair. “I suppose the grey gave it away?” he asked with a twist of the lips.
“Was there another tell?”
“The shaking is usually much worse after a bit, a few more wrinkles here and there, though they usually fade.”
Something crumpled in Tony at the nonchalant way he spoke. “Why?” he asked again.
Stephen finally met his eyes once more, sad and worried in equal parts. “I didn’t feel like it was important.”
“It’s killing you.” Tony snapped.
Stephen winced, his face paling a little again. “That isn’t…completely accurate.”
Tony took a deep breath, he didn’t want to be angry especially not right now, but still a ball of fire was rolling through him leaving him feverish and upset. He let go of Stephen’s hand, noting the way he had sunk back into the pillows again. Slowly, carefully he went back to carding fingers through Stephen’s hair, he relaxed instantly, eyes fluttering closed. If Tony was honest though, the action was more to sooth himself.
“Explain it to me then.” It was hard not to sound as though he were pleading.
Stephen’s eyes remained closed as he spoke, his words coming slowly as though weighing them carefully before letting each one passed his lips. “Magic can drain a Sorcerer. It feeds off energy and sometimes…when it’s a big spell…it eats at our life force as well.”
“Killing you.” Tony gritted out.
“Draining.” He insisted, as if that was any better. His eyes cracked open to look at Tony, they were filled with warmth and they seemed to glisten a little as though begging him to understand. “Most of the grey will fade in a few hours. A little will stay of course but in the big picture its barely any time stolen at all.”
A sob unexpectedly burst from Tony’s throat, his eyes burning with fresh tears. His hand tightened in Stephen’s hair pulling him close as he leaned over his lover to bury his face in his chest. “Any time stolen from you is too much Stephen.”
A trembling hand came up to cup the back of Tony’s head. “Really Tony-”
He lifted his head and cut him off. His voice was hard, adamant that Stephen understand. “Its not just stealing time from you, its stealing time from me. How many times do I have to tell you? Your life is not just your own anymore, please, I don’t want to lose any more time with you.”
Stephen’s expression turned pained. “Its not always my decision Tony. This job is important and sometimes the only thing that will save people, save the world, is a spell that needs to take a little more then I can give on my own.”
“There is always another way.” Tony insisted, stubborn and unwilling to watch Stephen fade away.
Stephen shook his head a bit, his eyes fluttering again with the effort of staying awake. A pang of guilt echoed through Tony and he sat up before climbing clumsily onto the bed to Stephen’s grumbling. He was then seated next to him, pulling both hands into his lap where he began a familiar action of gentle massages.
Stephen watched him through heavy eyelids for a moment. “There isn’t you know. Sometimes the worst option for yourself is the best one for other people. Just like on Titan.” He said quietly.
Tony frowned at him, couldn’t help himself. “I think you’ve earned the right to be a little selfish since then.”
“That has never been conducive to our lives I think.”
Tony stared down at Stephen’s scarred hands as he gently rubbed them, ignored the tears still staining his cheeks. “I feel like you are asking me to watch you die.”
A shift of his hands suggested shrugging and Tony looked back at him with narrowed eyes. But Stephen’s own were sad and sympathetic. “I’m asking no more then what you do from me. I go into battle with you, watch you run off in a rush unsure if there will still be two of us when the dust clears. I mean it when I say it doesn’t take much from me, if we survive the chaos of our lives I’ll still see my end well into old age.”
Tony swallowed thickly, hating the fact that he had a genius, logical partner. One of the hands he was holding gently pulled away until it could wipe away his tears. Tony forced a weak smile at Stephen. “So, I do nothing?” he hated how defeated he sounded.
“Not nothing. We haven’t changed Tony, it’s the same as always. You look after me and I look after you. We keep each other breathing so one day I’ll get watch you grow old and tell stupid stories about your young superhero days, and you’ll spend your evenings messaging my sore muscles whenever its damp outside.”
“Romantic.” Tony offered with a little smile.
“Hmm…definitely going to make you give me messages forever.”
A little laugh escaped Tony’s lips and Stephen’s exhausted face broke into a beaming smile. “For now, though, I would love it if you’d lay down already, so I can get some more rest.”
Tony didn’t hesitate, he stood and slipped under the covers, pressing his whole body tightly against Stephens and wrapped his arms securely around the man. He let his head lay against his chest and breathed deeply. “At least promise me those spells will be a last resort, and you’ll call me first always.”
Stephen’s voice was already half asleep, “promise.” He mumbled.
“I love you.” There was no response, but Tony didn’t need one. He just squeezed his lover a little closer and lifted his chin, watching some of the grey already fade. He couldn’t stop Stephen from using those spells and it wasn’t fair to ask, but he could spend the rest of his life taking care of him when he needed it.