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Derek squared his shoulders before he knocked on his uncle’s door. He wasn’t ready to do this, would never ready to admit to anyone that the death of his family was his fault, but Peter deserved the truth, especially if he wanted to stay in a pack with Derek as his alpha.
It took Peter some time to come to the door, and it only served to agitate Derek further. He wanted to get this over with, and not draw it out.
“What can I do for you, alpha?” Peter asked and while his whole face was mocking, there was none of that to find in his voice.
“I need to—” Derek started and then took a deep breath, because he didn’t really want to do this in the hallway. “Can I come in?” he asked, and Peter frowned at him, but stepped aside to let him in.
“You seem even more serious than normally,” Peter observed as Derek sat down on the couch while Peter took the chair on the other side of the table.
“I’m just—I’m here to apologize,” Derek started and looked down on his hands, unable to look at Peter while he said this.
It was already hard enough without meeting Peter’s piercing gaze.
“For what?” Peter wanted to know, and Derek shrunk in on himself.
“Killing our family,” he pressed out.
He was ducking his head, even though he was fairly sure Peter wouldn’t attack him. He probably had pieced it together himself, especially since he went after Kate, but Derek wasn’t sure that Peter didn’t have some lingering resentment for him.
“Kate killed our family,” Peter said, and his voice didn’t really leave any room for doubt, but Derek shook his head.
“It was me,” he insisted. “She fooled me, and I gave her everything. I—I handed them over on a platter to her,” Derek whispered, tears burning in his eyes.
“Well, then it’s my fault too for not stopping you,” Peter gave back, and Derek’s head snapped up at that.
“What?”
“You think I didn’t know you were sneaking around with her? Derek, I was the left hand of the pack. It was my job to know these things. I always knew what all of you were up to. I had to.”
“But—she was a hunter,” Derek said, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Peter had known all along.
“And? You think you’re the first werewolf who fooled around with a hunter?” Peter asked him and laughed a bit. “You weren’t even the first Hale to fool around with a hunter, or an Argent, for that matter.”
Derek could only stare at Peter in surprise at that.
“Have you seen Chris?” Peter said unapologetically and shrugged. “Of course I was all over that. At the same time you were all over Kate, I might add. I thought it had been me who gave our secrets away,” Peter admitted.
“Chris wouldn’t do that,” Derek said, surprised at how sure he was of that.
“Of course he wouldn’t. But after the fire I wasn’t so sure anymore. He came to me in the hospital, shortly after. He was devastated and told me how sorry and horrified he was by what had happened. There was no reason for him to keep up his charade there, so I knew it must have been Kate.”
“You mean me,” Derek gave back, and Peter sat down on the table in front of him.
“Derek,” he said and waited until Derek was looking at him, which took some time. “It was her. You trusted her, and she betrayed you. But trust is not a bad thing. It depends on what the people you trust do with that. And she abused it and fucked us all over in the process. That is not on you.”
Derek drew in a shaky breath, but he couldn’t help the tears that were freely flowing down his cheeks now.
“Laura blamed me,” he choked out and Peter’s eyes briefly flashed.
“And she shouldn’t have. You were a kid and you didn’t know better. And the most important thing is that you didn’t do it on purpose. There is nothing to blame you for.”
Derek buried his face in his hands, openly sobbing now, because he had never expected this. He had thought Peter would blame him, would push him away after he found out the truth. Derek never expected this acceptance and absolution and he didn’t know how to handle that.
“I’m still so sorry,” Derek sobbed, barely able to bring out the words.
“It’s okay,” Peter whispered suddenly from besides Derek, and pulled at him until Derek was almost curled up in his lap. “It wasn’t your fault,” Peter said in his hair and stroke his hands up and down Derek’s back, just holding him until the worst was over.
But even after that Peter didn’t push him away, so Derek just curled closer, trying to bury himself in Peter. Peter only tightened his arms around Derek and pressed his face into Derek’s hair. They stayed like that for a long time.