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The last person Connor expected to show up at Hank’s door that night was Gavin Reed dragging a damaged, blood-spattered Nines along with him.
Before Connor could react with anything besides a surprised blink, Gavin spoke. “Hey, fuckface.” he greeted, as eloquently as always. “Plastic prick 2.0 threw himself off a fucking building like always and fucked himself up, and now he won’t let me take him to get fixed.”
“The damage is superficial, Detective.” Nines stated, and Gavin just scoffed in response.
“Bullshit!” he grunted. “You fell through a fucking roof and you’re telling me you’re just fucking fine?! Look, tin can, I know how much you love to rub it in everyone’s face about how goddamn superior you are to humans, but you fucked yourself up and you need to get it fixed! I’m not taking care of your plastic ass if you decide to shut down because you didn’t wanna fix your shit!”
“Detective, please.” Connor cut in, and before Gavin could start up another rant, the android turned to face his counterpart. “Nines, what’s going on?”
“I was chasing the suspect, and made a slight error in one of my calculations.” he explained. “I did not anticipate the roof I was aiming to land on collapsing when I jumped on it. I was damaged minimally in the fall. The perpetrator was caught.”
“That’s what I just said, tin can!” Gavin snapped, and Nines ignored him.
“The damage is not anything that should cause concern.” he stated, and Gavin groaned.
“Real fuckin’ cute how you assume I was worried about you.” he muttered. “I just don’t wanna have to fix up your sorry plastic ass when you end up blue screening because you fell through a FUCKING ROOF!”
“Nines,” Connor began, ignoring Gavin once again as he took hold of his counterpart’s arm. “come inside. I can inspect the damage.” Nines nodded, moving to follow Connor to the bedroom, while Gavin simply stood in the doorway with a stunned, furious expression.
“Hey!” the detective shouted. “What the fuck am I supposed to do here while you pricks fuck?!”
This time, they both ignored him as Connor led Nines to his bedroom, Gavin’s ranting slowly fading into the background as Connor stood in front of the other android and performed a quick scan of him.
As it turned out, the damage wasn’t as minimal as Nines had been insisting. One of his legs had been damaged in the fall, and several of his internal biocomponents were operating slower than they should have been, and a deeper scan revealed the specific damage there. Connor raised an eyebrow, not understanding what was wrong. Nines would know with his own self-diagnostics that he was damaged enough to need repairs, so why was he so vehemently refusing?
Unless there was a deeper reason…
Connor knew fear. He’d been deviant for almost ten months at this point, and fear had been one of the first emotions he’d ever experienced and learned to understand. And he knew that in humans, fears could rule the mind sometimes, no matter how irrational. Connor still had a fear of heights after the way his first mission had ended. And Nines apparently had a fear of being repaired, but why?
“Nines,” Connor started. “why don’t you want to be taken in for repairs?”
The look on Nines’ face was unlike any expression Connor had even seen. He had no idea how to pinpoint the multitude of emotions twisting his counterpart’s expression - he could only make out a few, the most prominent being pure panic. “I--” he murmured, his voice shaking, and Connor felt a strange icy feeling inside his chest as Nines extended a hand, synthetic skin peeling back to offer an interface. “--cannot…” Understanding that Nines didn’t want to speak of the reason he was so afraid, Connor took the offered hand and let his own skin dissolve, linking with his counterpart.
The second they had completed the interface and Connor was in Nines' mind, the first thing that came to him was fear. He saw himself as Nines, laid out on an examination table, surrounded by Cyberlife techs. They had to perform multiple tests in order to be sure that Nines would be the ultimate successor of Connor. Faster, stronger, more resilient. Everything was about upgrades, testing, making sure that the RK900 would be better than the RK800 in every way.
Faster, stronger, more resilient.
Connor saw himself as Nines laid out for the techs to examine. Saw, felt himself being slowly disassembled, his different biocomponents being tested to ensure maximum quality. One of the most common tests was removing his thirium pump regulator, testing how long he could keep operating without it, waiting for him to shut down. Right at the second he was about to shut down, he was about to die, they'd put it back in, and it was right back to upgrades, tests, upgrades, make sure the RK900 was better than its predecessor.
And the fear. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Fear of dying, never given a chance to live, at the hands of his creators, the people who had given him life. So easily they could just take it away from him. The fear that he didn't understand, because he wasn't deviant yet, he couldn't express it, but it was all inside his head, he couldn't, he couldn't--
It was Nines who terminated the link, snatching his hand back as if he'd been burned. Connor blinked, taking a moment to recover. At some point, he'd become so interfaced with Nines that he didn't know where he began and Nines ended. He'd felt everything Nines had felt. The fear. The terror. The pain. None of it understood yet. But it had been there. And Connor knew then why Nines didn't want to go in to be repaired.
"Oh, Nines..." Connor began, keeping his voice quiet as he turned back to his counterpart. The other android was turned away, his eyes fixed on the floor, his shoulders tense.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 76%]]
"I do not want to be taken in for repairs." Nines stated simply, and though he kept his voice neutral, Connor could still hear the subtle tremble in his words, see the slight shakiness to his form.
Connor reached out and put a hand on his counterpart's shoulder, making sure to move slowly and carefully. "I understand." he murmured. He hadn't originally been planning to force Nines to go in and get repaired, but after seeing that, the inside of his mind, Connor wouldn't dream of ever even suggesting Nines step foot in a Cyberlife store. However...he still needed to be fixed, but...of course. Connor lowered himself to his knees on the floor in front of Nines, keeping a hand on the other android's arm. "Let me help."
Now Nines looked up at him, his eyes just slightly wet, and Connor felt something twist inside him. Before he could ask what his counterpart meant, Connor explained further. “I’ve performed several repairs on myself when I’ve been damaged in the past. We’re both RK models. We should have very similar parts. I’ll know what to do.” He took his counterpart’s hand and gripped it tightly. “Will you trust me?”
Nines shut his eyes and lowered his head, his LED flickering between red and yellow as he struggled with his thoughts. “I do trust you.” he stated. He turned back to Connor with a pained expression. “But I am--unsure if I can--allow anyone to…”
Connor continued speaking, running his thumb over the back of Nines’ hand. “Nines, I know you’re damaged.” he told him. “I need you to trust me so I can help you.”
It was a few long seconds before Nines finally nodded, and Connor smiled lightly as he began to rifle through his toolbag, removing the necessary instruments for his work before he analyzed the wires in the damaged leg in front of him.
Connor glanced upward before he proceeded, taking in Nines' expression and doing a quick scan of the other android. His counterpart's eyes were closed, LED wildly flickering red, his head tilted up at the ceiling, and his hands were gripping the bedsheets so tightly Connor was surprised they weren't tearing.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 82%]]
"I'm going to remove the damaged component now." Connor began, and the second his fingers moved to the release switches, he heard Nines take a barely audible, sharp intake of breath.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 96%]]
"Nines," Connor stated, standing up and putting his hands on the other android's shoulders. Nines slowly opened his eyes and looked up at his counterpart, his face a mask of terror. Connor looked into his eyes and tried to project soothing messages, whispering "it's alright", "you can trust me", "let me help you", things like that, directly into his mind. "you need to breathe."
He didn't, not in a literal sense, but in order to lower his stress levels and keep his internal systems from overheating, he still needed to take in air. "Breathe in for four seconds." Connor told him. Nines gave him a confused look but did as instructed, following down to the millisecond. "Now hold it for seven seconds." He did, and Connor could feel some of the tension beginning to bleed out of his counterpart's form. "And breathe out for eight seconds."
[[STRESS LEVELS: 78%]]
"Keep breathing like that, Nines." Connor said, dropping back to his knees. It was a technique Hank had taught him back when he was still adjusting to deviancy, still figuring out how to deal with the new flood of emotions that had seemed to overwhelm him several times a day. He still wasn't completely used to it, but he liked to think he'd improved since then.
"I'm going to remove it now." Connor put in, Nines nodding silently in response and continuing to breathe slowly and methodically like Connor had instructed. Once he'd determined that his counterpart's stress levels were low enough to continue, Connor pressed the release switches and removed the damaged leg. He could see the charred and torn wires a lot better now, and as he began to solder and rearrange them, he could physically feel Nines’ stress levels beginning to slowly creep upwards again, and sent another reassuring message to his mind.
As soon as he’d reattached all the necessary wires and components, Connor looked back up at Nines. The other android was slightly more relaxed than he’d been before, his shoulders still holding some of their tension but his stress levels hovering around the mid-sixties. Performing another quick scan, Connor remembered with a sinking feeling that Nines was more damaged than he appeared. Specifically a few of his internal biocomponents.
Meaning Connor was going to have to open him up to repair the damage.
“Nines,” he began, standing up and putting his hands on his counterpart’s shoulders. Nines’ eyes slowly fluttered open and he stared up at Connor, his expression twitching in worry for just a second. Connor took a second to preconstruct a couple different ways to break the news to the other android that he’d have to go sifting through his vulnerable inner components, figuring out that the best method was just being direct. “You have sustained damage to several of your internal biocomponents, specifically biocomponents #9457 and #3092. I have to access your inner workings in order to repair them.”
Nines’ face didn’t change, but Connor detected the change in him immediately, the way his stress levels instantly skyrocketed.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 97%]]
“Breathe, Nines.” Connor murmured, trying to project soothing thoughts to the other android again. Nines simply stared up at him, his eyebrows drawing together and his eyes narrowing in uncertainty.
“Connor, I…” His words trailed off as he squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw as he lowered his head to the floor. “I...cannot…”
“I need you to trust me.” Connor said, kneeling back down and putting a hand on Nines’ wrist. “I want to help you. I can only repair the damage if you let me see it.”
All Nines could do was breathe out slowly before he sent a message to Connor wirelessly: Open it.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 88%]]
Thank you. Connor spoke back to him through their connection, making slow, careful movements as he undid the buttons on Nines’ shirt and exposed his bloodied torso. Connor winced at the amount of thirium splattered all over his skin, and he took a moment to take a rag and wipe off what he could, exposing the edges of Nines’ stomach panel.
“I’m going to open the panel now.” Connor told him, and Nines nodded, turning his head away and trying to breathe again. The second Connor got his fingers on the release switches, before he even got a chance to press them, a hand was around his throat in an iron grip in hardly a second.
Connor didn’t even flinch. He simply looked up at Nines with an understanding expression, watching the panic and fury twisting his face slowly even out into horror as he came back to himself in only a few seconds, snatching his hand back and expression crumpling in shame. “Connor--I am--sorry, I--I do not--”
It’s alright, Nines. Connor spoke to him wirelessly, giving him a slight smile to show that he wasn’t harmed nor afraid. People often have a tendency to lash out with violence when they’re afraid. It’s simply part of being human.
It has been exceedingly difficult thus far. Nines admitted, and Connor nodded in agreement.
Can I open the panel now? Connor asked, and Nines drew a shaky breath, his fists clenching and unclenching for several seconds before he nodded silently.
Connor was familiar enough with RK internal biocomponents - plus the fact that the damage wasn’t so bad that it was a difficult task to fix -, that he could repair the damaged parts one-handed, his other hand tightly gripping Nines’. Both androids had deactivated the skin on their hands, and through their connection, Connor could hear Nines’ panicked thoughts screaming inside his head as he continued to work.
I am afraid I am afraid I do not want to die I want to live I want to live I am afraid I do not want to be deactivated please do not deactivate me I have not been able to accomplish my mission yet I do not want to die I am afraid Connor Connor help me please help me Connor I AM AFRAID IAMAFRAIDIAMAFRAIDIAMAFRAIDCONNORPLEASEHELPMEIAMAFRADIAMSOAFRAIDIAMAFR--
[[STRESS LEVELS: 98%]]
Nines. Connor said through their connection, tightening his grip on the other android’s hand as he paused his work for a moment. He tried to pour every soothing thought and emotion he could through their interface. I’m here, Nines, it’s alright, I will not harm you, no one will ever harm you like that again, Nines, please let me help you, it’s alright, just breathe like I told you, Nines, it’s alright.
[[STRESS LEVELS: 84%]]
That was better. Nines was breathing again, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his shoulders shaking from the tension in them, but his stress levels were slowly, steadily decreasing. Once they began to get down to the seventies, Connor resumed his work, trying to be as slow and careful as possible as he could. He’d taken to projecting a quiet, slow instrumental through his and Nines’ connection, and the other android’s racing, terrified thoughts had finally begun to slow, especially every time Connor would finish work on one biocomponent and move to another.
Eventually, he finished repairing the worst of the damage, and when he was only soldering and rearranging wires that needed to be fixed, he could physically feel the fear bleeding out of Nines’ mind, his stress levels down in the fifties, the lowest they’d been that night. At one point, when Connor had to move a tangle of wires out of the way, dislodging it slightly, enough for Nines to flinch and grip his hand tighter, the panic only lasted for a few seconds that time. His stress levels went up by only a few percentages instead of racing upward, before they began to calm back down.
He could hear Nines’ thoughts as well. “I am afraid” was no longer racing and shouting in his head, only floating somewhere in the background as he tried to empty his mind of everything but the breathing exercise and Connor’s projections.
And once Nines’ stress levels finally lowered to 37%, Connor realized with relief that he was done. He’d repaired the worst of the damage - now it was up to Nines’ self-repairing systems to work out the minor things, which Connor knew the other android was more than capable of. His systems could heal even faster than Connor’s, which was to be expected, of course, but at that moment, it was all Connor could ask for. Just for his counterpart to be alright. Just for Nines to never have to feel fear like that again.
“Nines?” he spoke, and the other android looked down at Connor as he stood up and released his hand, ending their interface. “I’m finished.”
The faintest smile passed over Nines’ face, something most people would miss, but Connor always seemed to be able to detect the changes, no matter how small, in his counterpart’s expression. His LED was a calm, unwavering blue for the first time that night as he stood up, blinking as his systems calibrated the repairs to his components.
“Everything alright?” Connor asked. Nines tilted his head as he performed a quick self diagnostic.
“My systems are functioning within normal parameters. Thank you for your assistance.” he told him, and at the sight of Connor’s face, at his counterpart’s proud, smiling expression, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and wrapping his arms tightly around his predecessor.
Connor felt a warmth in his chest as he returned the hug, projecting his feelings of pride and gratitude for being trusted through their connection.
“Thank you, Connor.” Nines murmured, his voice sounding choked, and Connor smiled. “Thank you.”