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It's always an honor to be asked to spend a heat with an omega, Magnus thinks, but it's equally important that the alpha respect any wishes that the omega might have expressed beforehand. Several weeks ago, when Alexander had shyly asked if Magnus would like to spend his upcoming heat together, he'd been very clear about one thing when Magnus asked: under no circumstances did he want to become pregnant. No matter how much Alexander begged and whined, Magnus was not to give him what he wanted. That sort of thing had to be made clear well before a heat started settling in, because omegas have only one goal in mind when they go into heat and if they have no desire to be pregnant outside of their hormone-addled state? Then it was the job of the alpha to make sure that they spent their heat safely.
Alexander whines, breaking Magnus out of his thoughts. His fingers are clumsy as they paw at Magnus’ jeans, which is the sort of behavior that Alexander would normally find mortifying. It helps Magnus separate what he's seeing in front of him with the careful, guarded omega he loves. Shadowhunters don't like showing weakness, let alone vulnerability, which is why Alexander asking him to be there during his heat was initially such a shock to Magnus. Omegas are at their most vulnerable when they're in heat and their bodies only want one thing. Most alphas like to pretend that an omega in heat is impossible to resist, but that's not true.
Only weaker alphas would disrepect an omega's wishes, but Magnus has known several. They would use biology to justify their own transgressions—it's no wonder that human alphas who become vampires most often become the sort of monster that would sully the sanctity of an omega's heat. They're high off of power, believing that they can just take anything they want. Magnus is glad that Simon did not succumb to that train of thought—although he's sure Clary would have set Simon straight if he'd even dared to try.
“Shhh,” Magnus says, petting Alexander's hair gently. He rearranges them on the bed, crowding against Alexander until the omega stills and bares his neck. “There you go, Alexander. There you go.”
Pulling gently on Alexander’s shirt, Magnus removes it so they can be skin-to-skin. It'll help quiet Alexander, given that he can't assuage Alexander's heat in other ways, and Magnus wants to do anything he can to make sure that there's as little discomfort as possible during this ordeal. Heats are exhausting on both partners, but the omega definitely bears the brunt of whatever might happen.
“Magnus.” The word is somewhere between a sob and a whine, Alexander’s hands pawing at his jeans again as his tone only gets more desperate. “Magnus.”
“No.” Magnus takes Alexander’s hands and pins them above his head. He would do it with magic, but he's afraid of the response that might trigger in a not quite lucid Shadowhunter. The next time they do this, Magnus thinks, he'll have to fit Alexander for restraints. “No, Alexander.”
“Alpha.” There’s a tone in Alexander’s voice, a sweetness that’s meant to unlock something in him, but Magnus ignores it. He’s too old, too experienced, for the wiles of an omega to sway him. Perhaps that was one of the reasons that Alexander felt safe spending a heat with Magnus to begin with. “Please. Alpha, I need you.”
“We spoke about this,” Magnus tells him gently. He knows Alexander probably can’t understand him fully, but he knows the words themselves will be soothing if he says them sweetly. “You were very clear, Alexander, and I will respect your wishes. Now, be good for me.”
Shifting on the bed, he weighs down Alexander as best he can. It's hard, given that Alexander is actually taller and heavier—the Lightwood genes run strong in him, even though he's not an Alpha like his siblings or parents—but Magnus manages. There's a moment where Alexander fights against the weight, but he stills again and settles against the sheets. He’s still crying, still calling out for an alpha, but Magnus pays it no mind. Instead, he touches their foreheads together and whispers sweet nothings in the gentlest tone he can manage. When Alexander is in his right mind again, Magnus knows, he’ll remember this moment and he wants Alexander to remember it right. He wants there to be no ambiguity in his actions.
He wants Alexander to trust him. To know that Magnus would never betray him like this.
“Please. Magnus, alpha, please.” Weakly, Alexander struggles against Magnus' hold on him. It's not particularly effective, because Alexander is so obviously torn between wanting to stay safe in the firm hold of his alpha and wanting something Magnus isn't going to let him have. He stills suddenly, sobbing brokenly. “Please.”
It breaks Magnus' heart to see Alexander—his strong, arrogant, willful Alexander—be reduced to this because of nothing more than biology. There are downsides to the other genders too, Magnus knows, but none are as visceral as an omega in heat being denied what their body so desperately craves. Some omegas never allow an alpha, even their own, to see them during a heat, all too aware of the vulnerability it shows.
“Hush, my love.” Magnus presses a kiss to Alexander's temple. “I won’t betray your trust.”
Alexander sobs, a frantic chorus of Alpha and Magnus spilling from his mouth. Magnus very much doubts that Alexander truly understands what he's saying—he only wants what his body is demanding, and Magnus can only give him so much relief. It's better than it would be if Alexander were by himself, though, and that's why Magnus is so determined to get this right. Determined to prove to Alexander that regardless of their arguments and disagreements, they can make this work if they try. He's known so many people, held so many omegas through their heats, and yet this feels like a new experience. There's a weight to it that Magnus has never experienced before, because he's never been so terrified of getting something wrong.
“I love you,” Magnus whispers, quiet and sweet. He hopes that Alexander doesn't remember this later. “You'll be the death of me, Alexander.”