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Eddie still had his bad days. It had been almost a year since Anne had tucked their engagement ring into his shirt pocket and even longer since the Daily Globe had tossed him out on his ass. But still, there were days were Eddie felt the loss of both events like it was yesterday; days where he woke up and blindly reached for someone who wasn’t there and days where he read articles from the Globe and longed to see his own name on the headlines.
Venom was a good distraction. Before, it had just been Eddie and a lonely apartment, staring at job applications and praying the phone would ring. Now, he was never alone. Even in the rare moments where Venom wasn’t talking, Eddie could still feel the symbiote creeping through his body, sifting through Eddie’s memories and curling up in Eddie’s chest. But even still, there were bad nights. Eddie still found himself longing for the sirens and honking of New York night light and felt sick when his mind supplied him with memories of Anne’s smile in the mornings.
Eddie, we agreed on no drinking before 5pm, the voice floated through his head, pushing all other thoughts out of his mind.
“Yeah, well, it’s just one of those days,” Eddie muttered, reaching for the two bottles in his fridge. Without warning, his arm snapped back to his side and the fridge door slammed closed. An inky black tendril slowly retreated back into his shoulder. “Dude, seriously, not in the mood,” Eddie hissed, reaching back for the handle only to have his hand shoved unceremoniously back down.
We had a deal. Alcohol tastes disgusting and it deteriorates your liver. One bottle and only after 5, Venom refused to give up control of Eddie’s arm, no matter how much Eddie pushed against his hold.
“Fine! I’m going to bed then,” Eddie turned his back on the fridge, irritation rising in his chest.
Don’t be such an ass, Venom grunted, uncaring that the statement only served to make Eddie angrier.
“I’m allowed to have bad days,” Eddie snapped, pushing into his room and throwing his hoodie and jeans off to the side, leaving them balled up against the wall.
Bad days, yes. Asshole days, no, Venom flung back. Eddie threw himself onto the bed, rolling to face the wall like that would make the symbiote shut up, Don’t be mad that I hold you to your promises. Eddie gritted his teeth against saying something he’d regret, though he was sure Venom already read it in his fleeting thoughts There was silence between them, only the sound of the outside traffic and Eddie’s pissed, rapidly beating heart. After some time, it began to slow, and weariness filled his bones, pulling at his chest and making his throat clench.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured into the silence. There was a beat where the only response he got was the feeling of Venom shifting beneath his skin and then, I know. The silence seemed a bit less tense after that, but Eddie still found his mind too jumbled to sleep. He was tired, exhausted, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw a life he could no longer have.
You’re lonely, the suddenness of the statement made Eddie startle, before his eyebrows furrowed.
“I’m not--”
You’re thinking about Anne. Thinking about how much you miss waking up to her pancakes on Saturdays and falling asleep to her snoring.
“Get out of my head, man,” Eddie pressed his face into the pillow as if that could drown the alien out.
It’s not just Anne. You miss your old job. You miss the cluttered sidewalks of New York and the constant rain.
“Stop!” Eddie shouted into the room. The voice stopped, but Eddie could still feel it rooting through his head, looking at all of Eddie’s memories and sizing them up. Eddie felt cold all of the sudden, although it was summer outside and he didn’t have enough money to fix the AC.
You don’t have to feel lonely.
“Please, just stop,” Eddie whispered, his voice breaking halfway through.
I’m here, the voice almost sounded hesitant, as if unsure if the statement would be welcome. Eddie stared at the wall, breathing heavily, before taking a shaky breath.
“I know,” a pause, “I know. I just...I miss it sometimes. I miss my city, miss my family, miss Anne,” his throat clenched around her name, “I used to have the dream life, you know? I had the perfect house, the perfect fiance, the perfect everything. And I love my job, but nothing compared to the feeling of working for the Globe. Nothing was ever boring there. I didn’t have my own show, but I still felt like my work meant something.” Eddie felt silent after that, blinking rapidly and trying to push down the rush of emotions that came with saying it all out loud.
I’m lonely sometimes, too, Venom’s voice was quiet, as if the symbiote was trying to distance itself from Eddie’s mind, Sometimes I miss the hive. I miss the feeling of...being connected to a higher purpose. I miss being able to feel the rest of my species, Venom sounded like it was far away, as if it was somehow somewhere else. Through their connection, Eddie got vague pictures of a planet writhing with the inky bodies of symbiotes and the residual emotion of being one . But, Venom began again, sounding stronger and more confident, now I have something better. This time, the image wasn’t blurred or abstract. It was clear, bright, and Eddie stared at the almost photo perfect picture of himself. He could feel fondness through their bond and...something more: the same feeling he used to get deep in his chest when Anne smiled at him, when she first put their engagement ring on. You miss your old life, I understand that, the symbiote started again, moving through Eddie’s chest and settling over his throbbing heart, but you aren’t alone.
Eddie tried to speak, his lips forming words, but his throat refused to work.
Thank you , he eventually sent through their bond, trying to place everything he was feeling behind the words. He could feel the symbiote smile and warmth spread through their shared body. Eddie, for the first time in days, felt at peace. His head still swam, and he still felt like there was a piece of him missing, but when he closed his eyes there were no phantom images. All he felt was acceptance, understanding and....love. And if Eddie woke up in the middle of the night with inky arms wrapped around his center, keeping the cold and the nightmares away, that was only his business and the business of the slumbering alien within.