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Jackson had told himself that he wouldn’t wait until the last moment but they are already having dessert and he hasn’t said much. It’s been mostly his parents talking about their plans for the weekend because there’s a wedding they have to attend. That's the reason why he’s almost disconnected from the conversation going on at dinner.
But today is the day. Today is not going to be the same as yesterday. Today he’s telling them and he’ll finally be done with that stupid secret. Not that the secret is stupid but keeping it a secret has felt stupid for quite some time now.
He knows Stiles says he needs time but he’s done listening to him. He knows Stiles is afraid of change and most of all of his father’s reaction but he doesn’t give a shit anymore. Hopefully doing this will prove to Stiles that he’s serious about his point of view and Stiles will also tell the sheriff.
Jackson has one more bite of the pudding and it tastes amazing… he can’t help but smile when he remembers how much Stiles would love it if he tried it. It’s silly but he knows this is the kind of thing that happens now very often… many things make him think of Stiles without realizing what he’s doing. Sometimes it’s probably totally silly and others it isn’t. This one is probably in the first category, so he rolls his eyes and tries not to smile too openly before taking one more bite. He does realize that this isn’t something that he’d ever done before. Maybe it isn’t fair to Lydia but it isn’t like she’s going to know and he’s also done lying to himself.
He looks between his mother and his father and he wonders if they’ll ever shut up. The truth is that they are just two people but right now it feels like a crowd. He just wants them to let him say his piece, so that he can go upstairs and phone Stiles… that’s going to be a fun conversation.
“You know, I’ve been trying to tell you something all night,” Jackson finally interrupts his mother. “So, just let me say it, I’ll go to my room and you can continue talking about whatever else it is that you need to talk about, okay?” Jackson says, leaving the spoon on the plate. “It won’t take long.”
It seems that got his parents' attention because they both look at him frowning, suddenly very interested.
“What is it?” His mother says, waving her arm.
“I just…” Jackson licks lips. “I thought you guys should know that I have a boyfriend. That’s all.”
“Wait. You have a boyfriend?” His father leans forward on the table with wide eyes.
“Yeah.” Jackson nods. “That’s exactly what I said.”
“Since when?” David tilts his head.
“A couple…” Jackson closes his eyes for a second before he corrects himself. “A few months, actually.”
“A few months?” Laura asks this time.
“Are you going to make me repeat everything I say?” Jackson frowns.
“We just want to be sure that we heard you correctly,” David says, waving his arm.
“Yes, we are… well, we are a little surprised. I mean, you can’t be really surprised that we are surprised."
Jackson snorts. “You look more shocked than surprised right now,” Jackson smirks.
“Is that what you wanted? You wanted to shock us?” David narrows his eyes.
“Of course not. I just wanted to tell you… How you react is your business. Obviously, I’d prefer it if you were okay with it but—”
“Why would you think that we wouldn’t be okay with it?” Laura asks.
“Yes, haven’t we proved to you that we love you and we just want you to be happy?” His father narrows his eyes.
“Guys, I know that.” Jackson sighs and shakes his head. “Honestly, I was pretty sure that you’d be okay with it… but he… I don’t know, he wanted to wait and I started to have second thoughts, and then, the way you just looked at me… it didn’t look like your ‘okay’ faces…” Jackson runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” Which is the truth… maybe he reacted defensively without a reason and he’s not sure why.
“You just told us you’re gay over dinner… any parents who found out their son was gay would be at least a little surprised, don’t you think?” Laura says.
“I never said I’m gay,” Jackson narrows his eyes. “I just said that I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“Okay, and isn’t that the same thing?” David asks, raising his eyebrows.
“Not really,” Jackson shakes his head. “It means I like a guy… but I was with Lydia before — remember her? Just because I’m with a guy now, it doesn’t erase her existence off the face of the earth, you know?”
His parents look at each other and they have one of those secret silent conversations they have sometimes in front of him like he’s not right there.
Jackson doesn’t really want to talk about Lydia. Trying to explain that relationship is the last thing he wants right now.
“Okay... so, are you going to tell us who this boy is?” Laura asks with obvious curiosity.
Jackson looks at his mother and then, at his father, but he doesn’t hesitate. He’s waited enough to say it.
“Yeah, it’s Stiles.”
“Stiles? You mean, that Stiles?” David tilts his head.
Jackson snorts. “How many Stiles do you know? — Yes,” Jackson nods. "That Stiles."
“Why — I mean, how did this happen?” David asks.
Jackson looks at his father and frowns. Somehow he didn’t see that question coming.
“What your father means is… we thought you weren’t friends. We thought you didn’t hang out.”
“He’s in the pack, mom. Of course, we hang out.”
“Yes, but we thought he hung out with that boy… Scott, right?” His mother continues.
“Yes, Scott is his best friend but like I said, he’s in the pack and we all hung out together. So, yeah, we were friends… We were friends for a while until…” Jackson stops himself and licks his lips, avoiding his parents' questioning gaze.
“Until what?” His father asks this time.
“Well, you know… do I need to spell it out for you? Why are you giving me the third degree?”
“Son, that’s not what we’re doing.” His mother waves both arms. “We’re just curious. We’d like to know what happened, that’s all. That is, if you want to tell us.”
It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell them. It’s that he’s not sure they’ll understand it when he’s still not entirely sure that he understands it himself.
“Does it have anything to do with what happened?”
That’s actually a question he expected. It’s easy to guess his father’s logic.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to think it does. But I think he doesn’t see it that way… so yeah, maybe he’d tell you the opposite.“
If his parents don’t know what he means, at least they’re smart enough not to ask anything further about it.
“Look, what happened affected both of us. You know that. But we were friends before things changed between us, so I got to know him and he got to know me… and that’s how it started. And I never told you anything because at first, I wasn’t sure if he felt the same, and later we weren’t sure if it was gonna last a week…” Jackson smirks and licks his lips. “And then, he didn’t want people to know because he’s basically afraid of change… not to mention that he didn’t want to tell his father. So, yeah, I’ve had enough of this whole ridiculous secrecy and that’s why I’m telling you, but the sheriff doesn’t know yet, so if you see him by any chance, you can’t tell him a word.”
His parents look at each other and back at him. It’s like he can hear their minds thinking about everything he’s just said.
“Are you sure…” Laura licks her lips nervously as she tries not to fuck up saying the wrong thing. “I mean, I barely know him… but are you sure he’s someone—”
“Someone what?” Jackson frowns. “What are you asking?”
“I don’t know… Enough, I guess. Is he good enough for you? He seems so—”
“So what?” Jackson interrupts her.
“Jackson,” his father speaks this time. “He’s always getting in trouble. You had a restraining order against him, remember?” His father sighs as he tries to find the words. “He’s not like Danny, okay?” His father waves his arm. “He’s not on the team, for example. He’s not even a wolf like you. You’re not in the same circle—”
“You’re wrong,” Jackson shakes his head. “He is on the team… it’s not his fault the coach doesn’t let him play,” Jackson shrugs. “And that restraining order happened ages ago…” Or that’s what it feels like right now. “I wasn’t fair to him and you know it. He and Scott were really trying to help me but I didn’t want to accept it, I was too blind and stubborn to see it, and I totally fucked up. I almost ended up dead myself, remember?” After all, he told them what had happened after they found out everything when they were kidnapped because he knew they deserved to know the whole story.
“And Danny is my best friend. He’s like a brother to me, so yeah, I know perfectly well how different he is from Stiles, you don’t need to remind me, okay? And yes, he’s not a wolf but he’s pack. He knows the truth about me… everything I’ve been through and everything I’ve done — and he still-likes-me.” Jackson adds, stressing each word, in a sarcastic tone. “So, I can’t imagine anyone being more in the circle than he is—”
“Son—” Her mother tries to interrupt him.
“Mom, just save it. The fact is that you two don’t really know him. Yes, he talks a lot and has a tendency to get in trouble... and yes, it might seem like we have nothing in common… but maybe that’s exactly why I’m attracted to him…” Jackson looks away from his parents, whatever face they have right now he’d rather not see it. “Why I like him.”
He could tell them many reasons about why they work… why he likes Stiles. He could remind them again that not everybody out there is ready to deal with his shit. That not everybody makes him laugh. That not everybody can see through the façade he puts on every day. That no-one else’s touch has the effect his has on him.
He could tell them a whole lot of things but there’s only so much he’s ready to share with his folks, and finding out all those things shouldn’t really make a difference in their reaction and their acceptance of the situation.
Jackson looks back at his mother. “The reason why I’m telling you all this is because I don’t want you to think this is some kind of phase I’m going through. I’m telling you because it is serious… a lot more serious than it ever was with Lydia. So, don’t think that because he’s a guy, he’s going away any time soon, okay? That’s not what is going on here.”
“Okay. We hear you.” David says. “But you just said that he hasn’t told his father.”
Leave it to his father to get the wrong conclusion.
“Yeah, but that has nothing to do with me... Okay, maybe it has something to do with me, but it’s mainly about his dad’s reaction. It isn’t about us. And besides, he’s told me he’s gonna tell him this week…” Maybe it’s not exactly the absolute truth but his parents don’t need to know that. “So, yeah, it’s just a matter of time,” Jackson shrugs.
“And now, if there’s no other criticism you want to say about him, I’m gonna go to my room. I still have some homework to do.” Before their parents have time to reply, he’s already getting up, carrying his plate and glass to leave them in the kitchen sink.
“Jackson, please, come back here one second. Please,” Jackson hears his mother say.
Jackson comes back reluctantly in front of the table and crosses his arms, looking at them.
“We’re glad you told us… even if it took you a while... but we know you had your reasons. It proves that we have your trust. That you don’t want to hide things from us again,” Laura says.
“Yes, that’s true. You’ve kept your word,” his father admits. “And it’s also true that we don’t know him. You’re right about that.”
“You really don’t,” Jackson shakes his head, waving his arm.
“If he’s important to you, then he’s important to us, and he’s welcome here anytime, okay? We just want to make sure that you know that,” Laura continues.
“Fine,” Jackson says. He’s relieved to hear that but that’s what he was hoping to hear -at least the first part- so he’s not really surprised. “Is that all?” Jackson crosses his arms again.
“Yes,” Laura nods, smiling. “Go do your homework,” she says, waving her right arm towards the stairs.
Jackson turns around and heads towards the stairs, already thinking about the phone call he's about to make.