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Eddie paused outside of the apartment, letting himself take a deep breath. He had never once regretted letting Buck move in with them after the other man finally let go of Abby; tonight, however, he wasn't sure he wanted to face what was on the other side of the door.
Buck was fantastic with Christopher. Better than that, he was amazing. Eddie had always been afraid to let people into their lives. He knew the odds of people staying, and he didn't want to subject his son - or himself, if he was being honest - to that kind of pain. It was easier to keep them at a safe distance instead.
Buck and the rest of the team had slipped right past his defenses, though, and they had exceeded every expectation. And Buck...Eddie shook his head as he thought about it. Buck had inserted himself into their lives, occupying the space like it had always been his to have.
And then today had happened.
They had spent the morning with Christopher at the park, taking advantage of a day off and gorgeous weather. Other families were out doing the same thing, and it wasn't long before one of the moms was smiling over at them.
"He is just so cute," she said, nodding towards Christopher playing on the fire pole with Buck, "having a day out at the park with his dads."
Both men had frozen at the comment and Buck's eyes had widened, but the moment had passed and the woman had walked away without either of them having the chance to set them straight.
And to be honest, Eddie didn't want to set her straight. He wanted her to be right, for the way she was seeing things to be the way that things were. Because Buck was so good with Christopher, and sometimes, when Eddie watched them, his heart constricted at the fantasies that filled his heart.
They hadn't talked about it on the way home, and then Eddie's aunt had called and he had to turn around and leave again to help her with some things around the house. And now that he was standing outside of the apartment, his stomach knotted painfully because he didn't know what he was going to find on the other side of the door. Had Buck been in there all day freaking out about that woman thinking that they were a couple? Was he thinking about leaving? Was he going to give Eddie some speech about how maybe they needed some space?
It was like the apartment had become a creation of Schrodinger; as long as Eddie kept the door shut, any and every possibility was both true and not true. Life couldn't be lived that way, though, and he had to open the door to let the truth stand as the truth.
The apartment was surprisingly quiet. The rattling of his keys as he placed them on the counter almost startled him with their noise. But then he saw Buck and Christopher, and his heart stopped.
Buck was lying on the couch, completely stretched out, with Christopher snuggled on top of him. Both were fast asleep, their breathing deep and peaceful. Hands shaking slightly, Eddie pulled out his phone and snapped a couple of pictures, wanting to make sure that the moment wasn't lost. Then his feet started moving of their own volition, moving him closer until he found himself sitting gently on the edge of the couch. One hand, still trembling, reached out to gently touch Buck's hair, his fingers running through it lightly.
The contact roused Buck, his eyes fluttering open as he shifted slightly under Christopher's weight. When his gaze landed on Eddie, he gave him a slow, warm smile.
"Hey there," Buck said, his voice still thick with sleep. "When did you get home?"
"Just now," Eddie said softly, trying to ignore the way his heart clenched at Buck calling the apartment 'home.'
The smile didn't leave Buck's lips, but his nose crinkled as he tilted his head. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Eddie shook his head, just barely registering that his fingers were still moving slowly through Buck's hair.
"I'm good."
"C'mon, man. I know you."
Eddie looked away for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "I was worried," he finally said, looking back at Buck. "I thought maybe...I thought that maybe you'd be here freaking out all day."
This time, Buck frowned. "What would I be freaking out about?"
Eddie gave him a look. "C'mon, Buck. That woman at the park?"
Buck chuckled and looked down at Christopher, his eyes warm and loving. "Why would that bother me? I'd be honored to be this little guy's dad." He paused. "It bothered you, though."
Eddie was quicker this time to shake his head. "It really didn't, Buck." He paused, eyes moving slowly over his friend's face. "But you...doesn't it bother you that this woman thought you were gay?"
To his surprise, Buck just shrugged. "Not really...I mean..." He shrugged again. "I may not be gay, but I'm bi, so that...makes me not straight, right?"
Something inside of Eddie jumped, but he forced his voice to stay calm even as his hand strayed down to rub gently across Buck's cheek. "Is that something recent?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.
"Yeah," Buck replied, his voice just as quiet. "Or at least, the realization is."
Eddie stared at him, his mind struggling to process Buck's words. As difficult as he found it, though, his body seemed to slip into autopilot, understanding exactly what Buck's words meant. His hand moved even lower on the other man's face until his thumb brushed against his lips. Just that touch made something in him spark, and his skin began to grow warm. For his part, Buck held his gaze, his own breathing becoming stilted. He was still looking at Eddie like that when his mouth opened just a little and he nipped at the tip of his thumb before closing his lips around it. Those lips were dry, and just barely grazing his skin, but the move was so far past friendship and so damn intimate that Eddie felt his heart drop right down into his toes and he let out a quiet, breathy moan. Leaning forward, he placed his own lips close to Buck's ear.
"That's not fair," he whispered. "Don't start something like that when your sister is coming over and we have to wake Christopher up."
He pulled back to see Buck smirking up at him, and Eddie moved his thumb slowly over his bottom lip.
Which was right when Maddie walked in.
Neither man jumped away - and didn't that warm Eddie's heart? - and Maddie stopped just short of the end of the couch.
"I'm interrupting," she said, not even making it a question.
Buck smiled at his sister, and Eddie moved his hand to the side as the other man answered. "You're fine," he assured her. "Besides, we better get Christopher up if we're gonna order dinner."
The world seemed to snap back into reality then as Eddie moved off of the couch and they gently coaxed Christopher back into waking. The little boy was thrilled to see his father home and then just over the moon to see that Maddie had joined them as well. As they all shifted into dinner mode, Buck pushed himself up off the couch and made a comment about freshening up before disappearing into the bathroom.
After getting Christopher settled at the kitchen table with some crayons, Eddie looked up to find Maddie smirking at him from the counter as she perused the pizza menu.
"What?" he asked, feeling his cheeks starting to burn.
She gave a coy shrug. "Nothing." She paused. "Please tell me you got a picture of the two of them cuddled up on the couch like that."
Her easygoing manner set him at ease and Eddie chuckled. "I did, actually. You want a copy."
Maddie rolled her eyes. "Obviously." Her gaze slid over to the bathroom door that was still closed. "But maybe later. Because...seriously?"
Eddie frowned. "What?"
She tilted her head to the side and gave him a hard look. "Christopher and I can totally handle ordering dinner," she said in a low voice. Her eyes moved once again to the bathroom door.
Eddie let out a long breath, shifting slightly as he looked at the door and then back to her. "Really?"
"Please do not be this stupid, Eddie. One of you has to be the smart one in this relationship."
And for some reason, it was that word that did it. Relationship. Because that was what he and Buck had been building all this time. Eddie was still terrified - of course he was terrified - but he and Buck had a strong foundation. And he really would be an idiot to let that pass him by.
So he breathed out a thank you to Maddie, looked back to make sure Christopher was good, and then slipped away to the bathroom. His hand was on the knob before he could talk himself out of it and then he was pushing it open - his heart practically sang when he found it unlocked - and sliding inside before shutting it back behind him.
At the sink, Buck turned to face him, hope and surprise filling his eyes.
"Everything okay?"
His mind failing to supply words, Eddie just nodded and stepped up to him before leaning in to kiss him. It wasn't quite as soft as he meant it to be - his longing and pent-up feelings getting the better of him - but it was perfect in its own way. And when Buck's arms came around him and he kissed him back, well...well that was just the best damn thing that had happened to Eddie in a good long while. It spurred him on, and then his tongue was in Buck's mouth and Buck had him pressed up against the sink, his hands lighting a fire everywhere that they touched.
When Buck pulled back slightly to breath, his chest heaving like they'd just run a mile, he pressed his forehead against Eddie's.
"Now who's starting things?" he asked, a smile growing across his face.
Eddie shrugged. "Maybe I'm just giving you a preview."
Buck laughed. "And trust me, it's one that I'm really enjoying." He gestured toward the door with his head. "But, um, Maddie and Christopher are most definitely out there waiting to have dinner with us."
Leaning in, Eddie kissed him softly - more like what he had meant to do the first time. "We've got a few minutes," he assured him.
Buck bit his bottom lip, eyes soaking all of Eddie in. "Yeah?" When Eddie nodded, he bent his knees slightly to give him just enough leverage to move Eddie on top of the sink. "In that case..."
Eddie smiled and pulled him back in.