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“A~ah, today was quite eventful, wasn’t it?”
“If you ask me, it was more like troublesome.”
“Don’t be that way!” A finger poked against Doppo’s cheek. “We got to help a poor girl and we were even invited by Sensei to join his team! Isn’t that, like, sooo cool!?”
Doppo’s head lazily tilted from the force of the poke. He swatted Hifumi’s hand away with his free hand. Neatly draped over his other arm was Hifumi’s host jacket, cheerfully discarded as soon as they parted ways with Jakurai back at the hospital. Of course, Doppo was the one forced to carry it. Now that they were walking home, the weight of the day’s events pressed on his mind. He was too tired to process any of it, and he’d save the shock of being invited into Jinguji Jakurai ’s rap team for a more sober-minded Doppo.
More than that though, there was one thing he hadn’t been able to let go of ever since Hifumi first approached him about this stalker situation.
“Yeah,” he agreed with a small smile, “I guess that is pretty cool.”
Hifumi let out a big sigh, stretching his arms up. “I’m just sooo glad that that girl was taken care of. It was super hard sleeping at night knowing she was there, yanno! Do you hear me, Doppo? It's suuuper scary knowing someone’s eyes are on you!”
(“Sometimes, I feel like someone is watching me when I’m walking home or in my room. Do you think that’s stupid, Hifumi? Do you think I’m just being paranoid again?”)
Doppo stopped walking. Hifumi was a few steps ahead before he noticed and turned back, a questioning look in his rose-yellow eyes.
Expression neutral, Doppo asked, “Hifumi, aren’t you being kind of hypocritical? About the stalking.”
Hifumi continued to look back at Doppo, blinking once then twice.
(“Hey, isn’t Hifumi-chan always around Doppo-kun?”
“They’re friends, isn’t that normal?”
“But I hear Hifumi-chan gets reeeally upset if they’re separated. No one talks to Doppo-kun anyway, but if you do…”)
When his golden lashes fluttered up the second time, there was a new look in Hifumi’s eyes. It was subtle, so subtle that one might not notice it, like the nearly imperceptible edge of a knife.
Hifumi smiled. “Ehh, what do you mean?”
Ah, there he was. That other, other, other side of Hifumi.
“You know what I mean,” Doppo sighed, not in the mood for these games now.
“Calling me a hypocrite though is really mean.” Hifumi frowned. “Don’t compare me to her, we’re completely different.”
“She’s a stalker and so are you. In the very definition of the word, it’s the same thing.”
Hifumi pursed his lips, reaching out and taking Doppo’s free hand, tangling their fingers together as he continued to drag Doppo through the early night streets of Shinjuku. Doppo didn’t pull away, not particularly embarrassed by the gesture as he normally would be. It felt familiar anyway, this tugging along -- Hifumi had done it for most of Doppo’s life -- dragging him outside to have some fun, to get out of bed and go to school, away from classmates talking to him about nonsense, away from girls trying to get closer to him, away, away, away…
“First of all,” Hifumi began to correct, “I would never send you bloody letters and knives.”
Doppo hummed. That was valid.
“Secondly, I’d never threaten to kill you! Doppo is my whole life, you know? Why would I kill my life? Why would I want a world where there’s no Doppo? If Doppo doesn’t exist, there’s no meaning, you know…!?” With each statement, Hifumi squeezed his hand a little harder, like it would make Doppo understand better. He did understand though, he did -- this wasn’t the first time those words were spoken to him, after all.
That was why, even though what Hifumi said was true, there was something else Doppo knew. “You might not threaten my life,” he muttered, “but you will hold a blade to everyone else that gets close.”
Doppo knew it.
He’d seen it.
The corner of Hifumi’s lips quivered upward in a strange smile. “I mean, of course . Doesn’t it only make sense to protect the one you love? That’s the difference between me and her, after all -- she’s a destroyer. I’m Doppo’s protector. There’s a lot of cruel people out there, you know? They’ll just pluck you like a flower and crush you to dust -- just like what happened to me.” He glanced over, still smiling. “Hifumin will never ever let that happen to Doppo-chin, so it’s best not to risk anyone getting close.”
Doppo knew that as well. How many times had Hifumi told him, knife in hand, that he had no problem disposing of the boss and co-workers and clients that took advantage of Doppo at work, that prevented him from coming home on time, that drove him further into his depressive complex? How many cuts did their dining table have from Hifumi stabbing said knife into the wood in displeasure when Doppo said, no, for the millionth time, do not murder anybody, because if Hifumi killed somebody, wouldn’t he go to jail and be far away? -- come on, put the knife down, if you do, I’ll give you a kiss…
“You seem to get along well with Sensei though. I was surprised, since I hadn’t told you about him at first… Not that I’m complaining. It’d be a pain for me if you made me stop seeing Sensei.”
Hifumi began to swing their linked hands back and forth, seemingly in an upbeat mood. “Oh, I knew you were seeing Sensei.”
Of course he did. Sooner or later, Hifumi knew everything.
“But once I looked into him, I didn’t think he was a threat. Sensei has been really kind to Doppo, right? But I know Sensei would never lay a hand on you. I know there’s someone else he thinks about, so he’s toootally safe! Besides, thanks to Sensei, there’s more reason for me and Doppo to spend time together~ I’m truly indebted to him in lots of ways now.”
“Mmn, well don’t do anything unnecessary in front of him. Moreso than you already do. If possible, I just want me to see this part of you.” Jakurai was sharp, but Doppo was pretty certain that the doctor had no idea about this other side of Hifumi. Ideally, he never would. Explaining this side of Hifumi was always troublesome and took hours to fix if he was set off.
Well, whether it was one side of Hifumi or another, Doppo couldn’t say he whole-heartedly hated it, no matter what troubles were brought with them. In the end, somehow, Doppo was the only one who could handle Hifumi as a whole. Just like Hifumi was the only one to handle him in all his broken pieces.
At Doppo’s words, Hifumi’s cheeks grew pink, happy with words that would’ve been interpreted as romantic in any other context. Grinning, Hifumi threw his arms around Doppo and hugged him tightly. Just like that, he was back to his regular Hifumin self.
“A~aah, Doppo!! You’re so smooth when you want to be! When did you get so cool~?”
“H-Hey, stop, you’re gonna knock me over…!”
“ Doppo-chin ,” Hifumi’s voice suddenly lowered against his ear, his breath hot, “I still feel that woman all over me. When we get home...do you think you can erase it for me?”
Doppo’s cheeks grew warm under the attention. Part of him was irritated how wonderfully lyrical and seductive Hifumi’s voice was, but another part of him -- the part that was used to desperate hands and golden eyes pouring plucked rose-yellow petals over Hifumi’s cheeks and Doppo’s throat -- gave into the tight embrace and turned his head ever-so-slightly to have his lips brush against Hifumi’s.
“Fine. Only because you behaved well today.”