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Another Wednesday, another therapist appointment. This had become rather routine for Ramuda at this point. It was extremely begrudgingly that he even decided he would actually go, but, he knew it was for the best, considering all the problems he’d had as teen that his parents refused to acknowledge. On top of that, they didn’t agree with his career choice, nor the way he presented himself. Nothing about his teenage years could be called “fun”.
He’d been lucky enough to become an influential fashion designer at quite a young age, and was now able to support himself and live on his own, despite only being 20. He was grateful for what he’d made for himself.
The appointment was routine as always. It was mostly just his doctor asking if his current medications were working properly, making sure he wasn’t having any harmful thoughts...that sort of thing. Sometimes it proved itself to be difficult to be honest with a therapist like this, but, he forced himself to be. For more reasons than one.
During a previous visit, he had a run-in with another doctor that worked at the clinic he went to every week. A very tall man, long dark purple hair, with absolutely piercing blue eyes…
Ramuda had—quite literally—bumped into the older man, and they had a short chat afterwards. It was nothing more than small talk, but for some reason, Ramuda found himself hoping he’d see him again during his following visit. Luck was on his side once again, it seemed, and he ran into the tall doctor without fail after each appointment each week.
Over time, he’d learned only a couple small things about this mysterious doctor. His name was Jinguuji Jakurai, and he’d moved to this clinic to start his own practice within the last few months, though he had already been a doctor for a couple of years. Besides that...there wasn’t much Ramuda knew, though he wanted to find out much more. Even he could acknowledge to himself that he had an awful crush on him.
His luck increased even more, one morning, when the taller man approached him first, wished him a good morning, and even invited him for coffee after his appointment was over, with only the stipulation that he couldn’t give Ramuda any actual clinical advice. This certainly wouldn’t be a problem to Ramuda, who was rather keen on making sure it was obvious he had no interest in being Jakurai’s patient, after all.
And so, after his appointment was over, he found himself sitting in Jinguuji Jakurai’s office, a cup of coffee between his hands. He was a little nervous to be able to have any time alone with him, even though it was in his office of all places. The crush he had on the doctor was absolutely painful at this point. He felt it in his chest just from thinking about him at all. He’d had crushes before, he supposed, but never like this . This was something much different.
It felt a little odd to be in an office, of all places, alone with the man he had it so bad for. It felt unbelievably intimate every time he even met his gaze, despite the fact that they’d hardly talked before beyond small talk. There was just...something about him that drew him in. He had some quality that no one he’d ever met before had; he just couldn’t put his finger on what that was. Jakurai simply captivated him, and that was all he could think about right then.
“So...what do you do, Amemura-kun? Are you in college, or…?” The doctor had finally settled on asking him that after they had already had a few minutes of small talk.
Ramuda fidgeted a little nervously in his chair, gazing over to the side for a moment. “...Fashion design. Independently. I make a living off of that.”
“Oh, that’s quite impressive. Have you gone to school for it at all?” It was quite obvious that Jakurai’s curiosity was piqued.
Ramuda shook his head. “Nope. It started out as a hobby when I was like, 12 or 13 I think? So I just kept doing it. And I’m, uh...20 now.” This probably wasn’t a very subtle way to tell the other man how old he was, but he figured it’d be good to get that out on the table, assuming they both had the same intentions. “...What about you? Besides...the obvious.”
Jakurai momentarily ran his fingers through his own hair, and Ramuda’s gaze was immediately fixated on his long, graceful fingers. No...he couldn’t let his thoughts wander this early on. This was the one time he had to resist being promiscuous right off the bat. Normally he didn’t care how quickly he got that way, but there was something about Jakurai that told him he needed to be more serious for once. Ramuda was only snapped out of his momentary daze when the older man began speaking again.
“Well, I became a doctor several years ago, but I’ve only recently moved here to start my own practice. It’s rather refreshing to be more independent.” He gave Ramuda a small smile, which immediately caused his heart to feel like it was going to jump out of his chest. God, how did he already have it so bad for this guy?
It wasn’t long before they hit it off, talking and laughing about all sorts of things. They surprisingly had a few things in common, such as an interest in rap that was more than just a passing hobby. Ramuda learned that Jakurai actually used his rap within his medical practice, using his lyrics to heal rather than harm. How fascinating was that? Ramuda told him about his experiences with rap himself, and how it was near impossible for him to find an opponent that wasn’t on their knees after only one verse from him. They both agreed that they’d have to hear the other rap sometime. Jakurai did seem like someone who could meet his level, after all, unlike most people. It was unbelievable how comfortable Ramuda felt around him so quickly. Usually it took him quite a long time to form meaningful relationships with people at all, not to mention the fact that he typically had little interest in getting any sort of relationship to the point where it was actually meaningful in any capacity.
When it all came down to it, Ramuda was a very...unfeeling person. This was actually part of why he’d been attending therapy in the first place. His relationship with his parents was never very good. They were rather strict and unaccepting of the way he wanted to present himself, and who he was in general. Because of this, he made it his goal to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, and he’d thankfully succeeded at that. However, he had a decent amount of lingering trauma from the way he grew up, and had gotten to the point where he felt almost debilitatingly depressed. He would spend days on end locked up in his apartment doing nothing but sketching for hours, forgetting to eat, forgetting to sleep, and just generally not taking very good care of himself. He didn’t particularly have any acquaintances to see him going through this, so it was up to him to lift himself back up. He somehow had the guts to make an appointment with a therapist, (he still has no idea how he managed that sort of courage) and they gave him the ultimatum of either having extensive appointments rather frequently, or being checked into an inpatient facility. Naturally, he chose the frequent appointments. This was the better option for him, considering he considered his work in fashion design so important. This arrangement was going well for him, and despite still being depressed, he no longer felt like he was constantly choking for air, which was a plus.
And thanks to all of this, here he was, sitting in front of Jinguuji Jakurai. Maybe being so fucked up hadn’t been that much of a problem after all?
Soon, Jakurai had noticed the time, and had to politely excuse himself to continue his work. Ramuda was a bit disappointed, but that feeling was immediately lifted when Jakurai reached across his desk, slipping the younger man a small piece of paper with a phone number on it.
“...I would love to stay in contact with you, Amemura-kun. Please...let me know when you have free time in the near future. I want to take you out for coffee somewhere other than my office.” Once again, Jakurai gave him that same soft smile, that one that made Ramuda’s heart melt.
Ramuda smiled right back at him, as bubbly as ever. “I’m free this weekend. Anytime you want~.”
“...How does Saturday morning sound?” Jakurai questioned, somehow seeming a bit shy.
“It’s a date~!” Ramuda grinned, reaching to lightly poke the tip of the older man’s nose. “I’ll text you about it, ‘kay?”
Jakurai smiled again, a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. “...I’ll be looking forward to it, Amemura-kun.”
Maybe being a depressed little shit really did have its perks.