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Watching Allen gobbles up a ridiculously large abomination made out of a toxic concoction of dairy products, sugar, and food coloring with alarming speed, Kanda decided that this was stupid.
There are other less idiotic ways to propose.
Kanda couldn’t believe he lets Lavi talked him into this.
When he finally managed to suck up his huge pride and dignity to convince himself that he wants to spend the rest of his life with the little white-haired terror by his side, Kanda was determined to keep it a secret. No soul would know about it. Nada. None. Well, until he actually proposes to the beansprout, anyway. With that, he would be able plan the thing slowly and peacefully. His original plan was nothing special. Get a stupid ring. A casual dinner and movie at their shared apartment, maybe he’d order some of Allen favourite dishes from his favourite restaurant, open up a bottle of red wine, and in the midst of boring movies, comfy couch and cozy blankets, with good food and warm wine sloshing in their tummy, he’d propose. Simple. To the point. And the beansprout would love it anyway. Both of them are not huge romantics at heart, but Allen does appreciate some tenderness every now and then and Kanda knows it. The plan was perfect for them.
Unfortunately, everything that might have gone wrong in the plan, had gone wrong. It happened from the very start, on the day that Kanda decided to get the ring. As he was walking out of the jewelry store, a certain someone happened to catch him from the other side of the street. And that certain someone zoomed through the traffic and glomped at him with a pure, unadulterated glee. Out of all the people who could’ve caught him in this situation, it had to be the idiotic rabbit. After a never-ending torrent of teasing, nagging, and a thinly-veiled (and very late, to that) shovel talk, Kanda managed to wring out a vow out of Lavi that he would keep it a secret from anyone else. A vow the man had kept not even for a day. By the time the sun had sunken, Kanda found his phone flooded with a barrage of messages and missed calls from one equally enthusiastic Lenalee Lee. Because of course, Lavi would never be able to keep a secret from his girlfriend. Kanda should’ve fucking known by then.That was when Kanda was sure someone up there was determined to make his life a thousand times more difficult.
It’s a miracle, really, despite of the two’s obvious giggling, glancing, and whispering, that Allen was that big of an airhead that he was blissfully unaware that something was going on. For once, Kanda actually was thankful for this side of his choice of significant other. As sensitive Allen was for another person’s feelings and shit, he was too much of a selfless martyr to sense anything when it’s concerning himself. That, or Allen is just plain stupid. Kanda was leaning more to the latter, to be honest.
Much to Kanda’s dismay, Lavi and Lenalee put themself into the planning committee of the proposal. When Lenalee found out he was planning to do it at home with nothing special planned, she was appalled. She urged Kanda to at least take Allen out for something nicer than takeouts. Make it a tad more special, something they’d remember for the rest of their life, so she said. She delegated herself in charge at the task of searching of the “perfect place” and Lavi made it his business to present Kanda with every single possible scenarios that he would be able to use to propose. And for the last time, no, Kanda would rather be dead than proposing to Allen with words written in the sky with fireworks.
In the end, Lenalee found a very nice, rustic cafe set in an antique victorian era house serving amazing brunches that she knew Allen would love. Kanda, for the sake of his sanity and getting her to finally rest off his case, finally agreed on the place. When Lavi found out that the place had a gigantic parfait in their dessert menu, he bets on his life that Allen would order it and made a long compelling argument to convince Kanda to hide the fucking ring in it. And again, for the sake of shutting the rabbit up, Kanda begrudgingly followed the plan. So much for a simple proposal.
Well, to be fair, Kanda did want to make Allen happy. For all the beansprout had done to put up with him, his temper, his past baggage, his idiosyncrasies, Kanda would like for Allen to know that he was appreciated, loved, needed. Despite his sunny disposition, Kanda knew Allen had a massive self-esteem problem. It took a long while for Kanda to pound into the idiot’s head that his needs are just as, if not more, important compared to anyone else’s.
Kanda could imagine how the beansprout’s whole face would light up when the parfait was brought to the table, how his eyes would closed blissfully as he moaned to the sweet taste of the cream. Kanda wondered how would he react when he found the ring, would he be surprised? What would his answer be? In the end, Kanda wanted to be happy himself, and after all he’d been through, he thought he fucking deserved it for the rest of his life to have some semblance of peace in it. And he had hoped that Allen would agree to spend it with him.
That brought him back to the current event, watching Allen happily scooped his spoon into the mountains of cream and sugar presented before him.
Lavi and Lenalee swore that they wouldn’t follow them on the day. But being the ones who ultimately found and booked the place, they automatically had all the information regarding the plan. Kanda eyed the conspicuous couple a few tables to the left. Yeah, like putting your hair in a bun and eyeglasses would be enough to fool anyone. At least Lavi went all out with a professional-looking old man makeup complete with fake beard. But still, Allen seemed to be completely fooled when he commented on how nice of a granddaughter she must be to take her grandpa on a Sunday brunch. Again, Kanda praised on Allen’s stupidity.
The clanging of the spoon meeting the side of the glass signified that Allen was already halfway through his jumbo parfait. Kanda couldn't help but gulped, in just a few moments Allen would find the ring. Soon, his delighted face would freeze and change into a realization as he look up to Kanda. And Kanda hoped he wouldn't stuttered when he asked the beansprout the most important question of his life. As he watched Allen gulping down spoon after spoon of sweetened cream laced with strawberry jam, Kanda kept a watchful eye on him for any sign of stopping. And judging from their big sparkling eyes, just behind Allen, Lavi and Lenalee were definitely doing the same thing, glued on the way Allen devoured his treat. Any minute now.
The time seemed to goes by in slow motion as they waited in anticipation for Allen to find the ring and what would be his reaction to it. The minutes stretching out for so long that each second felt like hours. And minutes after minutes go by without anything happening. When the beansprout sighed and placed the tall glass down on the table, clean from any trace of the contents, Kanda could feel his blood draining from his face and the cold uneasy sensation filling his stomach. Lavi and Lenalee's face mirrored his when they finally did the math on what happened. The girl’s hand slowly moved to cover her lips to muffle a loud gasp while Lavi’s mouth hung open idiotically, fake beard falling down from one corner of his chin. Eyes wide. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Aaawww it was sooo good! I've been wanting to try that ever since I saw this on instagram the other day! Thanks for taking me here, Kanda!” The beansprout exclaimed exitedly, licking his lips and fingers for any remaining traces of cream and jam. His face quickly changed in reaction to the dark look on Kanda's face,
“Uh… Kanda? Are you feeling okay? What's wrong?” He asked worriedly as he reached out to touch Kanda's shoulder. By now, Kanda was hiding his face behind his clasped hands. For everything he calculated and planned, he'd never think it would come to this. Which was stupid of him anyway, he really should've known. Then again all this was definitely Lavi's fault.
Lavi was instantly by their table, snatching the glass from Allen and holding it up to his eye, checking it carefully for any trace of the missing ring,
“Shit shit shit, it's really gone, Yuu!” He claimed unhelpfully, as if telling Kanda something that he didn't know.
Lenalee was by Allen side, holding him by the shoulder, patting it lightly, “Allen, Allen, sweetie, how are you feeling? Do you feel anything wrong?” she asked as she tilted up the bewildered boy's face, holding the mouth open, trying to find something hidden inside.
“Wha- Lenalee? What are you guys doing here?” Allen turned to Lavi, with his old man get-up half destroyed, “Lavi?! What are you doing looking like that?!”
The beansprout turned to Kanda, who was massaging his temple from the headache that was building up, looking for any answer on the commotion that they're causing, “Kanda, seriously, what's going on?”
From behind his hands, Kanda finally found his voice back to mutter a few, mumbled words, “...you swallowed it, you idiot…”
Allen leaned in to try to listen on what Kanda was trying to say,
“What was that? I did what?”
“You. Swallowed. It.” Kanda repeated his words. Putting emphasis to each and every one of it.
“I swallowed what?”
“Your. Fucking. Ring.”
“Ring? What ring?” Allen asked dumbly.
Kanda finally snapped, as he banged the table with enough force to shake it, “You swallowed your fucking engagement ring, you dumbass!!”
Allen gaped. His eyes slowly widened in realization, mouth hung open wide. He slowly turned to Lenalee in disbelief.
“Engage… Ring…?”
The girl nodded encouragingly.
“That parf… it was in..?” he pointed to the glass, turning to Lavi who was just taking off his fake beard. The redhead grinned sheepishly, scratching his cheek. He finally nodded.
Allen eyed the empty tall glass, holding it up.
“This is… empty… so…?”
Allen's hands fell onto the table, trembling. His face changed a couple of times amusingly. From shock, giddy, and at last the same horror of his friends’ when the puzzle pieces all clicked in.
After all, it really was not easy to convince oneself that Kanda Yuu had just proposed to you and he hid the ring in the parfait you just inhaled.
“Oh my god Kanda! I swallowed the ring!!!” He shrieked.
Kanda slapped his forehead irritatedly. The rest of restaurant was watching them with held breath, obviously trying to hold in laughter and amusement. He stood up abruptly and walked briskly to the front desk to pay the bill,
“Hospital. Now.”
Lenalee finally snapped and helped the shocked Allen up, “Ah! Right! Right! Come on Allen, we have to make sure you're okay!”
Lavi ran outside the door, “I'll go get the car!”
---
Later that day, the radiologist handed Allen his
X-ray with a poorly hidden smile in her face.
He exited the hospital gate and found Kanda just outside, waiting for him. Allen stopped walking and slowly pulled out the photo from inside the brown envelope. And there it was, as clear as day, a silhouette of a ring nestled in Allen's stomach.
“So… it's real…?” Allen looked up to Kanda hopefully. He pressed his cheek onto the lapels of Kanda's jacket in embarrassment.
Kanda's eyes softened as he placed his chin onto Allen's fluffy white hair, “...And…?”
“Hu...huh…?”
“Your answer, dipshit.”
Allen broke into a laugh, “You stupid Kanda!”
He leaned up and pressed his mouth onto Kanda's.
---
A couple of days later, Kanda was brewing his morning tea in the kitchen as he got himself ready for the day. Suddenly, a voice was heard from their toilet, shouting excitedly,
“Kandaaaa! The ring's heeeree!”
End.