Chapter Text
Ruby Rose walked with a bounce in her step. The step was multi-purpose: it made her bang brush along her forehead which was a nice feeling, it conveyed the cheery attitude that she always strived to exude, and it gave her a little extra height as she attempted to search for her friend. It was orientation day at their high school. They were getting ID pictures, locker numbers, schedules, the whole affair. While exciting, the fact that every student in their school was flowing through their gymnasium meant that it was rather hard to find anyone, particularly when you were as… vertically-challenged as she was. Years of drinking milk had done very little for her. Despite dairy’s false promises, she managed to catch a glimpse of the blonde hair and general air of defeat that signified her best friend. She quickly weaved through the crowd to get to him.
“Hey, Jaune!”
He looked over to her and smiled weakly. “Hey, Ruby. How was the picture taking?”
“The lady taking it kept saying how no one would take me seriously with dyed hair in an ID,” she said, tugging on one of her red tips. “But other than that, great! How about you?”
Jaune wearily held his ID up for her to see. She had to cap her hand over her mouth to stifle the laughter. Under the name “Jaune Arc” was a picture of him very clearly about to sneeze.
“What, they didn’t let you retake it?” Ruby asked.
“They did! I sneezed three times!”
Ruby doubled over, barely keeping it together. She registered two other people joining them.
“What’s so funny, guys?” Nora asked. “Is Jaune’s photo super lame?”
Jaune showed the photo to Nora and Ren. Nora immediately joined Ruby in being doubled over laughing.
“It’s certainly… memorable,” Ren offered.
Jaune sighed. “Thanks, Ren.”
“Look at it this way, you’ve already used up your bad luck for the year!” Nora said. “You can only go up from here!”
Jaune grimaced. “We’ll see about that. We’ve still got to find out who our partners are, yeah?”
Ruby nodded, and the four of them headed over to the final table in the gymnasium. Beacon High School prided itself on academics, but it was also very much a sports school. A surpising number of Olympians were Beacon alumni, so the sports program had gotten really robust over the years. As such, the school implemented the partner system. Your partner was a student who had the exact same schedule as you. This way, if you were gone on a sports meet, had to take a couple of days off to recover from an injury, or were just getting swamped, you had someone who knew exactly what your workload was and could help you to recover. More importantly, Ruby found it was a brilliant system to make friends. Her partner had been Jaune in their first year, and in second year, his partner had been Ren, who knew Nora, and the four of them had been inseparable since. Her second year partner, Penny, had to transfer at the end of the year, but they still constantly texted. The partner system had only given her great friends, and she was sure it would be no different this year.
They walked up to the table where the teachers were handing out partner info. Each one of them said their name and were given the appropriate slip of paper. They quickly moved away, into a corner. “Alright, Jaune, you go first,” Nora commanded.
“What, why?”
“The Queen commands it!”
Jaune sighed. “Yes, your Majesty.”
He removed the sticker from the folded piece of paper. “I've got… Pie-ra Nikos?”
“Oh, Pyrrha!” Ruby cheered. “She's on the track and field team with me! She's super nice, you'll get along great! She's the girl who always has the most awards at the end of the meets, Jaune.”
Jaune nodded. He had attended a couple of Ruby’s track meets and vaguely remembered hearing the girl’s name several times. “Well, she’s gotta be super busy, so I’ll make sure to help her out.”
“Oh, no, she’s like, super smart.”
“Oh, so she’ll help me out, even better!”
Nora slapped him on the back. “See! Super smart, super athletic nice girl! Your luck is already coming back around!”
Jaune nodded his head. “We’ll see. Who knows, she might get sick of how dumb and not athletic I am,” he said.
“Aw, that’s depressing. Let’s distract ourselves from thinking about that with my partner announcement!” Nora replied, eagerly tearing her paper open. She stared at it, and her face lit up in a positively beaming expression.
“I got Ren!” she cheered, hugging his arm. “Lady Luck is smiling down on us today!”
“I don’t think it’s quite luck in your case,” Ren mused, also smiling. “Considering you picked all the same electives as me.”
Nora waved her hand. “Semantics. Ruby, you’re up!”
Ruby nodded her head, excited yet anxious to get the name of the person who she would be spending the academic year with. She opened up the paper to the letter that described the purpose, intentions, and etiquette surrounding the partner system and proceeded to ignore all of it, her eyes running down to the bottom of the page, where in large bold lettering was her partner’s name: Weiss Schnee.
Whatever expression was on her face, it must have been rather un-Ruby-like, because she heard Jaune ask, “Uh, wh- who did you get?”
She looked up. “I got Weiss.”
Her friends immediately began to look like she felt: very nervous. “Sorry, Ruby,” Jaune said, rubbing the back of his head. “I guess I stole all your luck.”
Ruby shook her head. “Whaaat? No, it’ll be fine! I mean, I’ve never talked to her before, but I’m sure she isn’t as bad as everyone says.”
“Ruby, she is called the Ice Queen,” Nora said. “Like, when an entire class of non-middle schoolers calls someone a mean nickname, that’s bad.”
“Exactly! She could use a friend! And I, Ruby Rose, am going to be that friend!” she declared, puffing out her chest with pride at her solemn oath.
Her friends shared looks. “Well, if anyone can do it, it’s you, Ruby,” Jaune said.
“And speaking of doing it,” Nora chimed in. “Where do you think Yang and Blake are? I’ve been getting jacked this summer, and I want a rematch.” She emphasized her statement by striking a pose that emphasized her biceps.
Ruby made a face. “Please don’t joke about that,” she said. “I accidentally walked in on them in the living room this summer, and those are some memories of my sister I do not need to revisit.”
Nora made a matching face. “Gross, but still, where are they?”
Ruby checked her phone. “Uh… Yang said she’d meet us at the table on the moss side of the tree in the plaza.”
Nora narrowed her eyes. “So,” she growled, in a raspy voice. “This battle for my destiny will take place before a backdrop of janky moss, just as the ancient scrolls foretold. Onwards, my loyal servants! To battle!” She charged out of the gym, fist outstretched as if carrying the banner of House Valkyrie.
“Y’know, I’m honestly not sure if her personality makes the fact that she’s an Olympic candidate more or less believable,” Jaune mused.
“I’d say more. It’s a position that requires a lot of self-esteem,” Ren said.
“True enough. Well, it’s rude to keep the Queen waiting,” Jaune remarked. “You coming, Ruby?”
Ruby looked up from her phone, closing the article on ‘10 conversation topics literally anyone can discuss’. “Uh yeah, absolutely.”
They walked out into the plaza to see Nora talking animatedly with Blake and Yang. Yang was listening attentively, Blake was not. It was probably workout-related. Blake saw the three of them approach first, and she nudged Yang. Yang looked up and grinned. “There’s my little sister, finally made it to high school. So proud.”
Ruby sighed. “Yang, you make this joke every year. I’m only a year below you.”
“Yeah, a whole year below me. That’s like, three years below me,” she said, patting the seat next to her. Ruby dutifully sat next to her while Jaune and Ren sat on Nora’s side. “Hi, Ruby,” Blake chimed in.
“Hi, Blake,” Ruby responded
“Hi, Ruby’s friends.”
“Hi, Yang’s girlfriend,” they all said back. They were used to not saying each others’ names. None of them saw Blake particularly often, but whenever they did, Yang would always try to convince her she got their names wrong, or vice-versa. So they, in protest, just stopped using names altogether.
Yang, grinning at the mark she had left amongst her social circle, wrapped an arm around Ruby. “So, who’s your partner this year?” she asked.
“Weiss Schnee.”
Blake narrowed her eyes. Yang whistled. “The Ice Queen? No foolin’? That sucks, Rubes. I hear she didn’t even speak to her partner last year.”
“And she’s the daughter of the CEO of the biggest oil and coal mining company in the country,” Blake added. “Just saying, ‘empathy’ probably isn’t on her list of strong suits.”
“It’s not going to be that bad,” Ruby argued. “We’ll be friends in no time. Pyrrha was her partner freshman year, so I’ll just ask her for advice. And she’s my partner, so she’s taking Environmental Studies, which means that she’s at least a little concerned about the environment. So that’s good. It’s going to go great.”
Yang clapped her on the back. “That’s my sister!” She turned to the others. “Ever since she was little, she always Rose to the occasion!”
Ruby sighed, Nora booed, Ren coughed into his hand, Jaune made a face, and Blake lightly rapped Yang on the head with her book. “Aw, c’mon, first pun of the new year!” Yang complained. “You guys could be at least a little appreciative.”
“Of what?” Blake asked. “The loss of brain cells that joke caused in all of us?”
Yang stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend. “Fine, no talking.” She held out her arm to Nora and grinned. “Just action.”
Nora grinned back and clasped her hand. “Now we’re talking! Or… action-ing. Whatever! Let’s arm wrestle!”
Ren stood up and took his place as the official referee. Once he released his hands, the two went at it. All four of the onlookers looked on with admittedly bated breath as the two remained in a deadlock.
“You’ve gotten stronger, little girl, I’ll give you that,” Yang said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah? You ain’t seen nothing yet, sister,” Nora replied. As the two began to really lean into it, the cheering began. Jaune and Ren cheered for Nora, while Ruby and Blake cheered for Yang.
“C’mon Nora, you’ve got this!”
“Show her the fruits of your summer labor!”
“Don’t lose now, sis!”
“...”
Blake’s cheer was whispered, something only Yang could hear. Immediately, her eyes lit up, and Nora began to get pushed back towards the table. Nora struggled and held her ground, but it was futile, as Yang eventually slammed her hand to the table. Nora slammed her free hand on the table as well. “That’s bullshit! You had the power of lady boners! Ren! Cheer harder next time!”
“I will attempt to master the art of moral support before your next match,” Ren confirmed. As usual, there was no indication on his face that he had picked up on Nora’s insinuation at all. Ruby giggled to herself. She looked at her friends. Yang was grinning at Blake, who was very specifically looking at her book. Nora was pouting while Jaune and Ren tried to cheer her up. She loved these people. They made her life so much fun. She promised herself that she would get Weiss to join that circle of friends, so that both of their lives would be that much more fun.
As it turns out, however, the feeling of dedication made by the promise and powers of friendship really weren’t good for anything longer than a weekend, because when Monday morning rolled around, Ruby Rose was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. It didn’t help that she was running late either. Yang was the one who took them to school, and both of them had severe morning hang-ups. Ruby took forever to get out of bed, and Yang took forever to do her hair. Not that either of them were particularly punctual despite that anyway. So, as she sprinted across the plaza, thanking her years of track for the thousandth time, she could feel her stomach twist into knots. Maybe she just shouldn’t talk to Weiss today. Yeah, today could just be a recon day. She’d get a feel for the girl, and then come in super strong tomorrow. Yeah, that was it. She had tried to get some info from Pyrrha, but all she had to say about Weiss was that she was “very driven, resourceful, and she didn’t like to trouble anyone with anything”. Considering that Pyrrha literally never said a bad thing about anyone, it probably wasn’t that helpful. So she’d just have to gauge her herself. Which is exactly why she shouldn’t talk to her today. Yep, perfect.
As she settled on her plan-that-was-perfect-and-not-all-because-she-was-scared, she managed to duck into class just as the bell rang. The teacher, Ms. Peach, clapped her hands. “Nice! Love the passion,” she said, glancing at a piece of paper on her desk. “So that makes you… Ruby Rose! Welcome to class.”
Ruby nodded her head, her face red both from the exercise and the embarrassment. Blake had told her that Ms. Peach was pretty cool, so she was glad it seemed she hadn’t made a bad first impression.
“Alright, so, normally I like to just get right into it, but it’s the first day of school, and, hopefully, none of us have had to wake up this early for three months. I don’t want to just start lecturing when we’re all tired, so I’m going to give us a little transition period. For the next 10 minutes, get to know your partner. Just relax and talk. Sound good?”
Nevermind, Ms. Peach was not cool. She was a traitor. In an instant, she had destroyed the plan that Ruby had spent 30 seconds meticulously crafting. Chairs scraped across the floor as students began to get up and shuffle about to sit next to their partners. Ruby silently got up and slowly walked to the corner of the room, where Weiss Schnee was sitting. She hadn’t even made an effort to look up or move, but that made sense. If they both got up, they would both need to find seats. Weiss was just saving some effort. Yeah. She sat down next to her, and turned to give a very quick greeting, but even though she opened her mouth, words didn’t come out.
Ruby had never really seen Weiss Schnee up close before, but she realized she was starting to regret it. Weiss Schnee was very pretty. Like, the kind of pretty that mere mortals could never hope to achieve. The kind of pretty that was the ultimate combination of natural looks and the finest skincare and makeup that being rich could offer. Like, if they were in an 80’s movie, Weiss would be the one pretty, popular girl who homely Ruby had to beat to in the school fashion show for whatever reason, and she would undergo this massive transformation and be super super pretty, but then she would still lose, because, holy fuck, Weiss Schnee was just that pretty. Oh god, now Weiss Schnee was super pretty and also looking at her. “Can you stop staring at me? Thanks,” she said, immediately turning back to her phone.
Oh god, that was embarrassing. She had been staring at her like a total creeper. Now how was she supposed to start a conversation? “Hey, sorry about that, I’m just gay”? Yeah, that would go great. Time to fall back to Plan A.
Plan A worked well for about a minute. But then Ms. Peach ruined it yet again by glancing over at them. Ruby immediately realized how much the two of them stuck out. Everyone else was, however awkwardly, actually speaking to each other. Ms. Peach probably thought she was super anti-social or something. She wasn’t! She was just… Shy? Scared? Gay? God dammit.
“So, Weiss,” Ruby blurted out, before her mind could regain its bearings enough to tell her talking was an awful idea.
Weiss immediately turned to look at her again, looking more irritated. “Can I help you?”
“Uh, y’know, I was just thinking that we should, uhh, y’know, chat. Y’know, just two gals, spinning a yarn,” Ruby said, motioning her hands like she was knitting and deeply regretting it. She always liked to do something with her hands, but dear god why did they have to do that?
Weiss raised a perfectly done eyebrow at her. “I don't knit, sorry.”
“Really? I don't either, what a coincidence! So what else do you not do?”
Weiss looked her dead in the eyes. “I don’t make small talk, for starters.”
“Oh yeah, totally,” Ruby agreed, only continuing to talk because she sincerely believed she might die of embarrassment and that frankly seemed like the best way out of the situation. “I mean, who cares about the weather, right? Ol’ Ruby Rose doesn't. I'm Ruby Rose, by the way. I mean, I'm sure you knew that, but I felt like it would be rude to not introduce my-”
“Look, is there something you want from me?” Weiss interrupted. “Because if there isn't, I would really appreciate it if you stopped talking.”
At this point, Ruby knew she was doing more harm than good. Her adorkable charm had failed to work. That's why she had to rely on someone more experienced. She decided to bust out Taiyang Xiao Long’s Ultimate Guaranteed-to-Work Super Genius Icebreaker™.
“Would you take a million dollars if it meant that a snail assassin was chasing after you for the rest of your life?”
Weiss stared at her blankly for a second, trying to figure out what was just said. Ruby stared back, trying to burn Weiss Schnee’s heavenly face into her memory before she took out a restraining order.
“I'm sorry, what did you say?” Weiss asked, pure confusion etched across her face.
“Somebody gives you a million dollars, but then they set a snail assassin after you for the rest of your life.”
“How on Earth could a snail possibly kill me?”
“The snail is…” Ruby paused for a moment. She hadn’t expected to get this far. “A genetically altered super soldier snail, yeah. Some scientist guys are paying you to test out their new bioweapon. It secretes a substance that instantly kills you if it touches you. It doesn't need sleep, and it always knows where you are, so it's always coming after you.”
“That is… completely stupid,” Weiss stated, and turned to her phone.
Ruby sighed. Well, she tried. Guess she should just get used to being ignored. She had a whole nine months of-
“13 millimeters per second.” Weiss declared.
“What?”
“The average snail moves at a rate of 13 millimeters per second. The contiguous United States is roughly 2800 miles long, and that’s not even considering the additional vertical distance of hills and valleys. So…” she punched some more numbers into her phone, clearly doing some calculations. “Assuming the snail never stops moving, it takes 11 years for it to cross the entire country, and that’s being extremely generous. So the smart thing to do is use the million dollars to buy two cheap houses, one on the East Coast and another on the West Coast, and then move between the two every 11 years, and rent the other out while you aren’t using it. There is literally no reason.to not accept this deal. It’s an excellent break into the real estate business at the minor expense of moving between two cities every decade or so.”
Ruby was stunned, for a variety of reasons. She realized, however, that Weiss had finished talking, and she needed to keep this conversation going.
“Yeah but I mean, moving your career every 11 years seems kind of rough, right? Like, ‘Sorry, sir, have to quit because there’s this murderous snail after me. Mind hiring me again in a decade or so?’ Seems like that would be difficult.”
Weiss scoffed. “Ruby, please. This is the virtual age. Most businesses can be managed without physical interaction. My father handles our international industry quite well from his office at home.” She flipped her ponytail, clearly quite pleased with herself.
“Okay,” Ruby said, trying to contain her pleasure that Weiss had actually said her name. “You know more about that stuff than I do, but still, it might not be 10 years, like what if the snail takes an airplane?”
“What, the snail has a credit card? Or is it using miles?” she asked. Ruby could practically taste the sarcasm.
“It could sneak onto the plane!”
Weiss scoffed again. “Sneak on? What, can the snail read airline directories? Just crawl its way to the proper gate and stow away in someone’s purse? That’s utterly ridiculous.”
Ruby was tempted to point out that the concept of a super soldier snail was, in and of itself, utterly ridiculous, but she felt that might end the conversation. “Well, okay, I guess snails can’t really read or anything, but still they could, uh…”
“The snail could do nothing,” Weiss insisted. “There is no reason to not take the million dollars. My argument is flawless.”
“Well, I mean, it is just a hypothetical, Weiss, there’s not really a right answer. Or an argument.”
“Well, maybe that was true five minutes ago,” Weiss declared. “But not anymore. You’re welcome.”
“Um… thank you?”
Weiss nodded and turned back to her phone triumphantly. Ruby leaned back in her chair. The conversation was over, but rather than feel awkward and nervous, Ruby only felt contemplative. She personally couldn’t imagine moving across the country every decade. Leaving every friend behind, never having any permanence, it sounded awful. Weiss, on the other hand, seemed to think nothing of it. But it’s not like she was heartless. She was, at the very least, willing to have a serious discussion about the viability of super soldier snail assassins. For whatever it was worth, Weiss Schnee was the kind of girl to Google snail speeds to “win” a hypothetical question. She seemed to think of everything in terms of financial gain, so its not like she took wealth for granted. Based on all that, Ruby didn’t think that Weiss was really… well, she wasn’t… Ruby didn’t know what Weiss was. But she wasn’t the icy fortress everyone thought she was. And Ruby, now more than ever, was determined to prove that.
“Hey, Weiss. Wanna eat lunch together?”
“Absolutely not.”
Alright. She was still an icy fortress, but not absolute zero. That was something, at least. She just had to think of herself as a snail assassin. It was slow going, but she’d absolutely get to her target. Her extremely attractive target. It was going to be a very long year.