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Adonis was sitting on Koga’s bed as the other boy was sorting through his card deck. They both sat in comfortable silence as Adonis watched Koga play with his cards. Koga looked concentrated, his brows furrowing as he looked at each card before shuffling through them and dealing them out, only to no one but himself. Adonis didn’t understand anything about playing cards, but he liked watching Koga as he explained the concepts and what each card meant. At one point, Koga even tried to teach him how to play spades, but Adonis didn’t grasp the concept easily. Koga didn’t mind since they couldn’t really play with just two people anyway. He just shrugged it off and decided to just play with his cards: shuffling them, sorting them, dealing them; he liked the feel of the cards in his hands. It made him feel secure and powerful.
As Adonis watched him, he couldn’t help but ask him a question that’s been on his mind lately. “Oogami,” He started, “How did you know you were gay?” He looked at Koga innocently, as if he were asking a math question instead of something so personal.
Koga nearly choked on his spit when he heard Adonis’ words. “Don’t just say shit like that.” He grumbled as he grabbed for his cards, shuffling them some more just to have something to do with his hands. Adonis was always so blunt with his words, it caught Kgoa off guard a lot, and he didn’t like that. “It’s none of yer business anyway.” He muttered, not looking up from his hands.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Adonis apologized then stayed silent as he watched Koga shuffle his cards nervously. “I was just curious…” He didn’t like making Koga upset; he didn’t mean anything bad by it. Adonis was just confused over feelings, and his identity and wanted to talk to his best friend about it.
While Koga was shuffling his cards, one fell in front of Adonis, and he picked it up without another thought. King of Hearts. He twirled the card in his hands for a moment before handing it to Koga, who muttered a thanks in reply. Koga sighed and finally spoke. “I dunno; it just happened.” He was too embarrassed to tell him that he was his gay awakening.
Adonis nodded, “I see…” He didn’t fully understand, but didn’t want to make Koga feel even more nervous. “Have you kissed a boy?” He asked without thinking.
“Adonis.” Koga quipped as his face started to grow warm, warning him about his personal questions. He took a deep sigh then replied, “Yeah…” He didn’t know why he was so embarrassed with this conversation. Adonis was his best friend, and he could tell him anything.
Adonis gasped and leaned closer to Koga, his face filled with wonder. “Really? Who?” Was it any of their classmates, he wondered. He watched Koga intently, his mind filled with questions that he needed the answers to. “Do I know him?” He asked.
“Quit it.” Koga growled and pushed him back. “It’s no one you know.” It was just some random guy he knew from a long time ago. He long forgotten about him and didn’t want to think about him anymore. “It was a long time ago, okay? So stop lookin’ at me like that.”
Adonis apologized then looked up, deep in thought. He wondered if he would be okay with kissing a boy, but he wasn’t sure. He looked up at Koga and said, “When you kissed him, did you feel anything?”
“The hell are ya talkin’ about?” Koga growled. He didn’t know where Adonis was going with this conversation, and he wanted it to end quickly.
“I mean, did you feel in love?” He looked at Koga’s embarrassed face, not realizing how much he was making him flustered with his blunt words.
“I don’t know?” Koga suddenly grabbed his cards then stood up from his bed. “Why do ya care so much? Ya think yer gay or somethin’.” He grabbed the box he stored his cards in and opened it carefully, putting the cards in its place, then closing it shut with a small click. He plopped back down next to Adonis with a huff as he waited for him to respond to his question.
“I’m not sure...” Adonis said softly as he looked away, feeling anxious over everything. He was confused and scared, and he wanted his friend to help him. He didn’t know what he was feeling at the moment, ashamed? He wasn’t ashamed of himself, but he couldn’t help but feel out of place. He was a bear in a field of kittens; he didn’t feel he belonged. He didn’t feel right with himself, and it frustrated him. He looked up at Koga, pleading him to help him come to terms with himself.
With a sigh, Koga spoke gently, not wanting to scare Adonis. “Well, how do ya feel about kissing someone like…” He thought for a moment, trying to think of a girl they both knew. “Anzu?”
“Anzu?” Adonis repeated, confused. He never thought about kissing her. He just wanted to protect her from getting hurt; was that love or something else? He shook his head at Koga. “I never thought about kissing her.”
Koga hummed, deep in thought. He tried to think of other people that Adonis was close with. “What about that samurai wannabe, Kanzaki?”
Adonis thought about kissing Souma, but it felt weird to him. Souma was just his best friend, not someone he saw himself kissing and loving for the rest of his life. He loved him dearly, but not in that way. Adonis thought about other people, his mind landing on Koga. He looked at Koga with a slight head tilt and said quietly, “Can I kiss you instead?”
“What?!” Koga unintentionally covered his red face with his forearm, feeling his heart start to race and his mind go fuzzy. “Why me?” He asked as he felt his hands start to sweat. Adonis and him? Together? He’d be lying if he said he never thought about it, but he thought it was never going to happen, and now here he was, sitting with the person he loved who just asked to kiss him.
“I want to kiss you…” Adonis said softly as he scanned Koga’s face. He looked up at him wetting his lips for a moment before saying, “If you’ll let me…”
“Hah?” Koga tripped over his words and felt his mind stop working when he heard his breathy words. “R-Really?” His eyes darted around the room, trying to find something that would signal to him that he was dreaming. There was no way this was really happening. There was no way his dream came true. There’s gotta be a catch.
Adonis’ face faltered for a bit, showing his disappointment. “We don’t have to… if you don’t wanna…” He felt his heart start to crumble, and his throat grew tight before Koga quickly interrupted him.
“No, no. W-We can. I was j-just… surprised…” He looked away from Adonis hiding the blush on his face. He hated how much Adonis made him flustered. “I’ll kiss ya…” He looked up at Adonis and saw his blushing face looking back at him. “J-Just hurry up and do it already.” Koga growled to hide how happy he was to be able to kiss someone he loved dearly.
Adonis chuckled softly as he cupped Koga’s cheek in his hand gently, giving him a small kiss. He felt Koga’s arms wrap around his neck as they deepened the kiss, Koga bringing himself closer to Adonis, their chests touching. They could feel each other’s heart beats quicken as they kissed passionately. Once they finally parted to take a breath, they stared at each other in disbelief. They didn’t even know what to say to each other, and neither wanted to be the one to break the silence.
After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, Adonis spoke up. “I’m gay…”
Koga snickered and pushed Adonis playfully, “Shut up, ya dumbass.” They both had large smiles on their faces as they hugged each other and laughed.