Chapter Text
Jungkook hadn’t stopped crying since Anpanman. And that was saying something, because the concert had been over for more than an hour. Jimin had clung to him as much as he could while still giving the fans his attention throughout the end of the show, and as they walked back stage, the younger had assured Jimin that he was fine. He was emotional; they all got that way. Jimin had been the same only two nights previous in New York.
But now Jimin was realizing this was beyond normal end-concert feelings. He began to see a side of Jungkook that recognized all too well as the boy continued to sob into the palms of his hands.
Almost exactly a year before, Jimin had had a similar experience.
Being told you’re not allowed to perform, that it isn’t safe, while your body is still functioning is like suffocating in the presence of oxygen. Like being sleep deprived while lying in bed. Like feeling so alone despite being surrounded by so many people who loved you. Jimin had felt all these feelings, and he’d felt what Jungkook was feeling.
He’d just finished having his make up taken off. He’d been the last one, Jungkook the first because he’d already cried half of it off. Even if that hadn’t been the case, he was the youngest and they all liked to treat him like he was their baby. He was their baby, and yet here he was completely inconsolable on the dressing room floor.
Namjoon was crouched over him, a hand on his shoulder, whispering soothing words into his ear, but Jungkook was just shaking his head. Taehyung crouched down beside them and Namjoon stood up, eyes on Jimin.
He covered the floor space between them in a split second, eyes heavy with concern.
“Take him back to the hotel? I think he needs you,” Namjoon said, reaching for his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone, staring at it and sending what appeared to be a text message.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Why do you look surprised?”
“I just... “
Jungkook sobbed again, interrupting Jimin’s thought process. Both he and Namjoon turned to him, both locking eyes with Taehyung.
Namjoon looked down as his phone dinged. “There’s a car coming to get you guys. I don’t think he should be walking. We can try to coax him onto the crutches or -”
“I’ll carry him,” Jimin said, a sense of resolve overcoming him, one that he would definitely need to lift the boy who was much taller and more muscular than him.
Namjoon looked like he was about to question him, but Jimin pushed by him and moved to stand over Jungkook.
“Kookie,” Jimin said softly, running a hand through his hair. The other boy didn’t respond, so he crouched down to eye level. “Come on, Kook, we’re gonna go back to the hotel room.”
Jungkook pulled his face out of his hands. His eyes were red and puffy and Jimin knew he really needed to get his contacts out. “Th-the meeting,” Jungkook mumbled.
“We don’t need to go. The others can update us later. Let’s go back to your room,” Jimin said, offering his hand.
Jungkook looked up at him, confused eyes swimming with tears. They never missed meetings. Never. Except that one time.
“Come on,” Jimin said, reaching down and grabbing him under the arms in attempt to pull him to his feet. Taehyung was beside him, helping him lift. Jungkook finally realized what was happening and helped as well.
“Come on, I’m piggybacking you. Unless you want crutches,” Jimin offered, turning his back to Jungkook in hopes that he would cooperate and jump on.
Unfortunately he knew better.
“Come on, Kook. You need to stay off that foot or you’ll be out longer,” Jimin said. “Let me piggyback you.”
Jungkook didn’t speak, just pouted. He looked like he was going to burst into tears again.
“Ok ok, you can walk,” Jimin said, “but lean on me?” He reached for Jungkook’s arm, giving him the chance to pull away if he felt like he needed to. He didn’t, and Jimin pulled his arm over his own shoulders. “We can go slow.” Jimin glanced at Namjoon as he said it, his leader nodding back at him, his expression grateful.
“See you guys back there,” Jimin said. Jungkook had his face in his free hand as he limped by the rest of his members. Jimin could feel waves of shame and humiliation washing over him, and he was reminded of the time he’d nearly fainted in Chile. He wished Jungkook wouldn’t. They’d all seen each other at the worst of times. They were all strong, but even the strongest could only take so much.
Jimin heard Jungkook choke on a sob as they left the room, finally in the privacy of the hallway. He moved his hand to wipe at his nose, and Jimin had to stop him.
“Jungkook,” he said, pulling himself around the front of the maknae. He set a small finger under Jungkook’s chin and guided his face to look at Jimin. “You’re ok,” Jimin whispered softly. Jungkook’s eyes locked with Jimin’s, and the pain was so terribly evident he wanted to cry himself. “It’s ok,” Jimin whispered, pulling him into a soft hug, arms tight around his back, hands reaching up to his shoulders. Jungkook hugged back and Jimin could feel his body trembling, shaking with sobs.
“Do you want to sit down a minute?” Jimin asked, stroking Jungkook’s hair softly. He felt Jungkook shake his head.
“Hotel,” he mumbled.
“Ok, let’s go,” Jimin said, pulling Jungkook’s arm back over his shoulder, taking as much of his weight as he could.
As Jungkook’s sobs quieted, Jimin could feel him wincing as they went. He’d been on his feet a lot during the show- a lot more than the medical staff had wanted. But Jungkook was stubborn like that; he always had been, probably always would be.
They made it to the black SUV and Jimin felt his own shoulders relax once Jungkook was sitting, his head pressed back against the headrest, his eyes closed.
It was a short ride to the hotel, but they needed to go around back to the private elevator to ensure privacy and safety. Jimin had no doubt there were ARMYs staying in the hotel and while the last thing he wanted to do was avoid his fans, he knew it was for his own good.
They didn’t speak on the drive, but Jimin could tell that Jungkook’s breathing was too uneven for him to actually be sleeping. He was probably processing and Jimin knew it wasn’t for the better. The more he thought about it, the more he was going to hurt and the more he would cry. Jimin didn’t care if he cried, in fact he knew he needed to. But he didn’t want him hurting more than he needed to. He’d been there before, he knew how responsible he must feel, but he needed to stop thinking about it. He couldn’t beat himself up for it.
“Jungkook, we’re here,” Jimin said, his hand finding the back of Jungkook’s neck, stroking the still sweaty hair at the the top of his jacket. “Let’s go inside and get cleaned up, get something to eat, k?”
Jungkook opened his eyes; they were still swimming with tears. One ran down his cheek and Jimin reached in to brush it away, his hand then moving to stroke Jungkook’s hair in comforting way. “Come on,” Jimin said, picking up Jungkook’s hand in his own free one. “Just upstairs, then we can relax.”
Jungkook nodded, and Jimin held his hand as he climbed out of the car. He was still wincing, and Jimin had a feeling he was probably overdue for another painkiller.
The elevator was fast and their floor was deserted, the rest of the staff still working at the venue. They had another night ahead of them, so there wasn’t a lot of take down to be done, but there were meetings and reorganizing and cleaning to be done. Jimin hoped they’d have some time before the hustle and bustle returned to their floor.
“Do you have your room key?” Jimin asked, Jungkook’s arm draped over his shoulder as he was finally allowing Jimin to carry most of his weight.
“M-m’ pocket,” Jungkook stammered. “In my wallet.”
Jimin reached around and pulled Jungkook’s wallet out of his pocket. He realized how strange it would look for someone to see a man pull another man’s wallet out of his back pocket, but it was so natural for them. They were so close in so many ways that nothing was awkward. They’d spent years with all 7 of them sharing one bedroom. Privacy was definitely non-existent back then, so they typically ignored it now. No one batted an eye when someone walked into their bedroom or in on them while they were in the shower. They were family. They shared everything.
Jimin found the room key and let them into Jungkook’s room, the room right next to Jimin’s. He figured he’d get the maknae cleaned up and settled before he bothered with showering himself. They shuffled into the room and Jimin reached for the lights, kicking his own shoes off before helping Jungkook onto his bed. As soon as he was seated, Jungkook flopped backwards, eyes closed and arms sprawling at his sides. Jimin chuckled, watching the tension release from his shoulders as he knelt down to help Jungkook take his shoes off. The good foot first, then the bad one. He felt Jungkook wince again, and he glanced around the room for his bottle of painkillers.
“Jungkook, you need to eat before you sleep.”
He just groaned in response.
He was exhausted, Jimin could tell. He felt it too, but he knew Jungkook’s was more emotional exhaustion than anything. He’d survived the show, cried his eyes out, and now he was done.
“What about a shower?” Jimin asked, moving up to help him out of his jacket. He rolled onto his face and did nothing to stop it.
“Can’t,” Jungkook muttered into the pillow.
“What do you mean?”
“Can’t get my foot wet.” He shook his bad leg as if to emphasize it.
“A bath then. I’ll help you.”
“Need to change the bandage,” he said, face still flat against the bed.
“I’ll help you with that too. Come on, let’s get you up before you pass out.” The last thing Jimin wanted was for Jungkook to wake up in the middle of the night still in his clothes, still sweaty and horribly uncomfortable. He’d let him rest once he got him cleaned up and fed.
“Jungkook I’m taking your pants off.” Jungkook rolled over, eyes still closed.
“Rude, at least take me out for dinner first.”
Jimin rolled his eyes, laughing, but grateful that his spirit was still intact. “I would but you can hardly keep your eyes open. I think a shower is more important right now.”
Jimin got Jungkook’s contacts out and got him into the bathtub, his left leg hanging over the side so it stayed dry. He was still exhausted and teary, and Jimin had to help him wash and condition his hair. He massaged his scalp longer than necessary, but he could feel Jungkook relaxing, his body losing some of its tension, so he kept going.
“What do you think, ready to get out and have something to eat?”
Jungkook nodded, wiping his eyes.
“I’ll order something now, so by the time you’re out it should be here soon,” Jimin said. “What do you feel like?”
“U-um,” Jungkook stammered, still obviously crying, “can we order Korean?”
Jimin smiled. “Of course. I’ll be right back.”
He ordered enough for everyone and then some, picking the things he knew everyone liked and ordering a double portion of Jungkook’s favourite noodles.
When he came back, Jungkook was sitting on the side of the tub wrapped in a towel picking at his bandage.
“Let me do that,” Jimin said, taking Jungkook’s hand in his own. “You’re going to get cold, look you already have goosebumps,” Jimin ran his hand down Jungkook’s shivering arm. “Get dried off and into your pjs.” Jungkook didn’t object, just started toweling himself off.
Jimin got him dressed and helped him limp back to the bed. Jungkook obviously tried to hide his pain as he put weight on his injured foot, but Jimin saw it, his heart aching for the maknae. He sniffled as Jimin helped him up onto the bed and Jimin had to stop. He had a couple of pillows in his hand and was ready to prop Jungkook’s foot up, but Jungkook just looked so sad. He tossed the pillows to the end of the bed and pulled Jungkook into a hug. Jimin heard him choke on a sob as they wrapped their arms around each other, Jimin’s around his waist and Jungkook’s around Jimin’s shoulders.
“It’s ok,” Jimin whispered, gently rubbing circles into his lower back. “You got through the show, you did amazing, the fans love you no matter what, Kook.”
“I just,” he sobbed, “I hate not being able to give my all, you know?”
“I know,” Jimin said. “But it’s better that you rest now. If you perform, you could make it worse and be out for longer. Besides, no one wants to see you in pain. You can hardly walk,” Jimin reminded him.
“I kn-know,” Jungkook repeated. “It’s just all so stupid. It was a stupid accident. A stupid injury.”
“Accidents happen,” Jimin said, reaching up to stroke Jungkook’s hair. “No one blames you.”
“I know. I just, I can’t stop crying,” he sniffled.
“It’s ok to cry, Kook. Let it out. You’ll feel better,” Jimin said, pulling him close again. Jungkook pulled his arms back and held both hands to his face. Jimin squeezed him tight as he broke down into violent sobs. The kind of crying that’s almost explosive, that doesn’t stop until everything is out.
Jimin moved into a more comfortable position against the headboard and let Jungkook lean into him, his hands clenching in Jimin’s shirt as he cried into the material.
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that or how long Jungkook cried, but Jimin could only imagine how sore Jungkook’s throat must be getting. But hopefully crying it all out would bring him some kind of emotional relief. Finally his sobs began to slow and breathing started to even out. He sat up a bit and rubbed at his eyes, wiped his nose on his sleeve.
“Thanks, hyung,” Jungkook said, his voice scratchy and his eyes still big and watery. Jimin wanted to cry too, seeing him like this. But now wasn’t the time to let his emotions go; he needed to be strong for Jungkook.
“Of course,” Jimin said.
Jungkook took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, pushing the messy dark brown bangs up off his forehead, the water still clinging to the strands making it stand up and causing Jimin to chuckle.
“Feel better?” Jimin asked.
“Yeah,” Jungkook said. “Just… been an emotional day.”
“I know it has. Food then sleep?”
“Mm,” Jungkook nodded. He glanced down at his foot, the bandage only half clinging to the wound.
“I’ll change it for you,” Jimin said.
“You sure? It probably smells awful.”
“I lived in a single room with 6 other boys. I think I’ll be fine,” Jimin smiled. “Lay down. Get comfortable.” He picked up the pillows he’d discarded earlier and set them at the foot of the bed, lifting Jungkook’s foot onto them. His heel was an angry red and very swollen. Jimin could only imagine how much it must be hurting, but of course Jungkook wouldn’t say anything. He made a mental note to get more painkillers into him as soon as he had something to eat.
By the time he’d cleaned out the wound and wrapped fresh bandages around Jungkook’s foot, there was a knock at the door and dinner arrived. The way Jungkook’s eyes lit up at the sight of his favourite noodles warmed Jimin’s heart and made him feel better. As Jungkook dug in, Jimin took some of the food to Namjoon’s room so they could eat when the got back. He stopped on the way back at the vending machine, returning to Jungkook’s room with his arms full of chips and other snacks, all the ones Jimin knew Jungkook loved. This earned him another huge bunny smile when he dumped the snacks on Jungkook’s bed.
Once they were both full, Jimin handed Jungkook two pain pills and excused himself to shower. When he came back Jungkook was curled into a ball with all the lights still on, his mouth hanging open and small snoring noises escaping his lips. He looked exhausted, and Jimin thought about leaving, but instead sat down on the edge of the bed. Jungkook’s eyes opened, and he reached for Jimin’s hand.
“Come cuddle,” he mumbled.
“You sure?”
“Mhm,” he hummed, sliding over to make room for Jimin. “Stay.”
Jimin smiled down at him. His eyes were still closed.
“Please?” He asked, looking up at Jimin.
“Yeah,” Jimin said, kicking off his shoes and pulling the blankets back so they could both climb in. Jungkook slid down the bed so he could curl in between Jimin’s torso and his arm, resting his head on Jimin’s shoulder and closing his eyes.
Jimin flicked the light off and wrapped his arms around Jungkook.
“Love you, hyung,” Jungkook whispered. “Thanks for taking care of me.”
“Love you too, Kook.”