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This is my first attempt at writing anything. I hope it’s well received. Would love any constructive feedback.
It’s been a pleasure to read such great works here over the years. Thank you
Never Again. Again.
Guilty or not guilty, that was the question. Mentally incapacitated or of right mind, that was the second. He had been in the Court Room all morning. Listening carefully, then zoning out as he heard various testimonies and the monotonous diatribe from both prosecution and defence. “Was Mr Jerse under the influence or a drug? Did his tattoo really talk to him? Or were his actions those of a cold blooded killer?” He did not really care about the outcome, only that there was one. He had studied the back of Ed Jerse’s head for hours and only wanted consequences to befall it. The States Attorney had been on full attack all morning. Cutthroat in his duties. Witnesses left the stand shaken and fleeing their interrogations quickly.
Mulder was happy for the break at lunch; the morning session had been uncomfortable viewing at best. Standing, he stretched, collected his carefully folded overcoat from beneath his seat and made his way to the door. Surprised he stopped, recognising the man at the back of the room. Skinner was waiting for him. “Shit” he muttered to himself as he made his way to greet him. “What are you doing here Mulder?” he questioned as they walked together out of the Court and into the Lobby, putting on their coats. “Me, I just like a cheese steak.” He shrugged. ”You came for the cheesesteaks?” Skinner shook his head, “Shall we get coffee?” Murmuring Mulder said “I think we may need something stronger to be honest.”
They left the Court House and walked for five minutes to a small diner. Taking a seat at the counter they requested coffee and club sandwiches. It was difficult to say anything. Each of them caught out by the presence of the other. “So” Mulder said, “What are you doing here?” Skinner paused and stared into his coffee, “I thought she might need a friend”. Mulder had never heard him speak so quietly. “Fair enough” he replied after a long sip of his drink. “And you?” Skinner looked up whilst asking the question, assessing the younger man’s expression. “I don’t know” he said “She’s just; I mean I just needed to… I…” His tone faltered. “I can’t answer your question”. “I get it” Skinner replied, he started to attack his sandwich.
They sat eating in silence. Mulder gestured for the bill. “I’ll get this” Skinner said and Mulder acquiesced. “Well the Bureau will” Skinner muttered as he took out his Bureau credit card. The bill settled they headed back to Court. It was perhaps the strangest lunch Mulder had ever had and yet it was fitting for the occasion. “She even know you’re coming?” Skinner asked as they went through security. “No” Mulder said quickly, “You?”, “No”. They grinned ironically at each other, “Could go badly” Mulder said. “Could go badly” Skinner agreed.
Entering the Court Room they took their seats along with everyone else. The hustle and bustle died down quickly on the arrival of the Judge. “Here we go” Skinner said. Mulder straightened his tie and stilled.
Then she was called. The doors creaked opened and he heard her heels hitting the wooden floor with a harsh staccato. Turning to face her was not an option yet, his eyes locked on him, the accused five rows in front. Again, for the twelfth time today he questioned his own attendance. Why was he here? He had to be here though, he knew in his bones. He had to see it. Hear it. See her, and him, together. His knee began to bounce impatiently until Skinner looked at him with a raised eyebrow. They both looked forward and focused on their reason to be.
Walking with confidence she passed their row. Her red hair was perfectly set, just shy of her shoulders and shining beautifully. She was wearing a new expensive navy blue suit. He had never seen it before and it fitted perfectly, feminine and well cut to her narrowing waist. The matching pencil skirt gave her shape, emphasised her diminishing curves.
He could see the subtle changes in her appearance in the short time he had to just look at her. He did not get the opportunity all that often and scanned her head to toe and back again. The cancer was starting to hold firm. Not that anyone else could tell yet. He could though. He knew every new angle and every new line.
She stepped up to the stand. Resolute. Her hand on the offered bible, speaking clearly and calmly she recited the necessary oath. On invitation she sat down with a graceful assurance, took a sip of water that waited for her and looked out to the Courtroom.
He drew breathe, looked up and caught her eye.
She did a double take, looking directly at them, both of them, sitting together thick as thieves. Her expression faltered to one of vulnerability. A rabbit in the headlights. He realised quickly that she was embarrassed. She looked down for a couple of moments and then raised her chin with defiance. Her eyes quickly ignited with fire. He could hear her thoughts. “Not everything is about you Mulder, this is my life”. Immediately he felt like he was violating her privacy. Another interference. Another step over the ever expanding invisible line. She had said she was taking a personal day, she had purposefully not told them where she was going. A situation could not get any more personal than this. Yet here they both were. In honesty, pondering on Skinner’s earlier question he could not decide whether he was here for her or out of curiosity. He wondered whether Skinner was questioning his own motives at this point.
The prosecutor stood, cleared his throat and took a final look at his prepared notes. Moving from behind his table he addressed her directly.
“Miss Scully, thank you for joining us. You understand why you are here today?”
“Yes Mr Preston” She responded, evenly.
“To begin I wanted to ask you about your education and employment. I think the court will benefit from knowing some of your background. Please enlighten us”. He leaned against a wooden balustrade with confidence. His oiled hair slicked back unnaturally and his teeth a shade too bright.
“I’m a Special Agent with the FBI based in Washington. I joined the Bureau straight from Medical School.”
“Medical School?” He raised his eyebrows with an air of over incredulity. “Are you a Doctor?”
“Yes, I’m a Medical Doctor with a background in hard science”. She remained even in her tone, no emotion registering on her features.
“How long have you been with the Bureau?” He was becoming more direct. More clipped in tone. She did not miss a beat; “The best part of ten years now.”
“Tell me why you were in Philadelphia on the night of 13th November?”
“I was working a case, I can’t provide you with specific case details, I can say that it was mostly surveillance”
“Alone?” Preston asked.
“Yes, alone” Scully responded.
“Is that normal Miss Scully?” Preston looked down reviewing his notes.
“It depends on the case, I have an assigned partner”.
“How did you come to meet Mr Jerse?” He indicated to Mr Jerse with his arm.
“I met Mr Jerse during the afternoon. I went into a tattoo parlour. I needed to be there as part of my surveillance. The Tattooist asked for my opinion on Ed’s tattoo. Mr Jerse was unhappy with it. We started chatting.”
“Whilst on the job? Is that allowed?” Preston raised his eyebrows and two women behind Mulder giggled a little.
“I had finished my activities and was prepared to wrap up my case. My work was done.”
“Ok, so you’ve “clocked off” and start speaking to Mr Jerse, what happened next?”
“He gave me his card and I accepted it. I went back to my hotel, typed up my report and spoke with my Partner, Agent Mulder. Then I called Mr Jerse, we arranged to go to dinner. I picked him up and then we decided to forgo dinner for drinks. My idea.”
Mulder thought back to the night and realised he had almost goaded her into calling Jerse. He groaned inwardly.
“How long did you drink for?”
“A couple of hours, maybe a little longer.”
“Did you drink much?”
“A fair amount. I was drinking gin and tonic I think.”
“I’ve never seen her drink a gin and tonic”, Mulder murmured to Skinner. Skinner looked at him and shook his head whispering, “I think that’s the least our worries.”
“Were you incapacitated?” Preston continued.
“No, a little buzzed. I was fine.”
“What did you talk about?” He was leaning on the balustrade again. Running his hands over his slicked back hair.
“Life, mostly me, I think looking back. He asked the right questions, he listened. It had been a long time since I had been on a date like that. Had a conversation like that.” She glanced at Jerse then, it was the first time she had looked in his direction.
“You liked him?” he asked softly.
Breaking eye contact with Jerse she looked back to Preston. “Yes I did.”
“What happened next?”
“We talked about his tattoo; I was interested in his reasons for it. He spoke about looking forward, not backwards. Marking time.” She spoke more quietly then, glancing down. “It resonated with me. I’d had a difficult week, a difficult few months. He said if I was so interested then perhaps I should get a tattoo of my own. So I did.
“You went to get a tattoo?” Preston probed.
“Yes I did, we went to the parlour from the bar. After that we went to his apartment.”
“A wild night Miss Scully. Drinks, a tattoo and a trip to Mr Jerse’s apartment?”
“If you define that as wild Mr Preston” She remained even in tone and calm.
“For what purpose did you go to the apartment?”
“For a drink, to talk.”
“What did you talk about when you got there?”
“Not all that much. His arm started to bleed and I was concerned. It came through his shirt. I took off his shirt to examine it.”
“Did he want you to examine his arm?”
“No, not really, he was hesitant.”
“You did examine the arm?”
“Yes I did” She replied with confidence.
“How did it look?”
“The bleeding was coming from his tattoo; it looked to me like it had been burnt.”
“Burnt how?”
“I thought with a cigarette, it looked like a cigarette burn.”
“Did Mr Jerse smoke?”
“Yes.”
“You saw him smoke?”
“We smoked together earlier that night.”
Mulder exhaled, shifting in his seat. Did he know her? Did he know her at all?
“Did the burn look self-inflicted?”
“Perhaps, I would say that was most likely.”
“What happened next?”
“I tried to examine it more closely but Mr Jerse was quick to pull my hands away.”
“Was he,” Preston paused for effect, “violent?”
“No, perhaps a little rough, it was clear he didn’t want me touch the tattoo” She remained nonchalant in her response.
“Then what happened?”
Scully picked up her water glass. She had a drink and slowly placed the glass back down. Confidently she replied.
“We kissed.”
“He was rough with you and then you kissed” Preston affirmed her testimony with an astonished tone.
“Yes.”
“Then what happened?”
“We had sex”
Blunt, straight talking and emotionless. There is my nonsense Scully, Mulder thought. She could have been talking about anything.
“What kind of sex?”
“Objection! Does the court really need to understand the kind of sex Miss Scully had with Mr Jerse?”
Finally Mulder thought, we hear from the defence.
“I am trying to understand and demonstrate the emotional state of Mr Jerse Your Honour, this is prudent information.”
“I agree with you Mr Preston – tread carefully now”. The Judge warned.
“Miss Scully what kind of sex did you have?”
Mulder looked straight at her. She had dropped her gaze to her lap. She took a deep breath and looked directly at the State Attorney.
“Could you be more specific please Mr Preston?”
He did not expect that response from her, or the polite nature in which she addressed him. She was trying to retain some dignity.
His tone became sinister, sneering. The temperature in the room dropped a couple of degrees. Mr Preston walked slowly to the stand asking his question whilst walking. “Let me be more….. specific was it Miss Scully? Was it passionate, or was it gentle? Was it rough? Did you break the bed? Was it…”
“Objection Your Honour” Mr Homer the Defence Attorney stood.
“Yes Mr Homer” The Judge said, “Mr Preston I think Miss Scully understands your request.”
“Yes Your Honour, I do” she said slowly. “To answer your question Mr Preston it was not gentle. I wouldn’t use the word passionate. I would use the word rough. Yes it was very rough.”
“Was this roughness you describe driven solely by Mr Jerse?”
“No, I encouraged it”. She looked at the attorney mildly. Unphased. If anything she slowed down her response. Her articulation was specific. He was trying to get under her skin and she wasn’t adhering. Mulder couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was mesmerising.
Skinner coughed.
“Is that normal for you Miss Scully, meeting a stranger, getting a tattoo and requesting rough sex?”
“Objection! Your honour, please.”
“Let me rephrase. The evening you had with Mr Jerse, a date, some drinks, a nice little trip to the tattoo parlour and rough sex. Is this a regular occurrence for you Miss Scully or was this driven by Mr Jerse. I merely want to understand whether this is regular activity for you?”
“Jesus” whispered Skinner.
“I am surprised Mr Preston that my sex life is so interesting to you, in response I would have to say that no, I’m not in the habit of having dates, going home with my date and having rough sex. The proclivities I have for the type of sex I enjoy have no relevance to this testimony and I’m inclined to question your motives?” She remained composed and tilted her head, raising her eyebrow very slightly.
The Court Room was deathly silent. Not a single sound could be heard. Mulder’s pulse echoed in his ears and he could feel it twitching in his neck.
“What happened next?” Preston said after clearing his throat.
“It had started to snow and Ed… Mr Jerse encouraged me to stay. I feel asleep.” Scully shifted in her seat.
“Did Mr Jerse wake you at all during the night?” He sounded almost lecherous now.
“Yes he did, we had sex again”.
“How many times?”
“Twice.”
“The same kind of sex?”
This was becoming an interrogation.
“Yes, I would say it was. I think we were both pretty wound up. It was rougher each time”. Scully responded slowly, measured in her reply.
“Christ” Mulder breathed.
“Did that worry you? Were you uncomfortable?”
“I realised that my arms and hips would probably be bruised in the morning. His grip was hard. I recall him placing his hands around my mouth, my neck and I didn’t like it, I asked him to stop.”
“Did he stop?”
Mulders head fell into his hands, this was difficult to hear, but it was intoxicating. He had never heard her talk so intimately. Though the detachment was bizarre. He closed his eyes as she answered. It was the longest she had taken to reply. The tension in the room crackled.
“He was pretty far gone” she paused, “it was intense”, another pause “he did stop when he realised what I was saying. Once we had finished we went back to sleep.”
Mulder opened his eyes and watched Skinners hands curl into fists next to him. His knuckles faded to white. This morning’s session was not uncomfortable. This was uncomfortable. This was torture.
“What do you mean by finished Miss Scully?”
Mulder held bit his tongue. This was becoming cruel. Scully leaned back slightly. She looked calm and collected.
“Maybe finished is the wrong word Mr Preston”, pausing she picked up her glass, looked him in the eye, “satisfied is a better term” She sipped at her water.
Skinner coughed again.
“Let’s move to the morning after.”
Preston continued to probe on the events of the morning and again Mulder chose to tune out. He knew about the visit of the Detectives, he had read their reports. He knew about the research she did after they left. He was uninterested in hearing about it again. He just watched her. Not listening, just looking. Even now, under significant pressure, divulging sensitive personal information, whilst dealing with terminal illness she remained every inch the professional. She was amazing.
He saw then her posture change, she straightened, had more water. Mulder began to pay attention.
Preston was asking about the attack.
“When did you wake up Miss Scully?”
“I was being carried in a sheet, I felt the scissors from the bathroom against my hips and I tried to reach them. I lost my bearings; it’s difficult to know what to say.” She tensed. “It’s not all that clear. My head was pounding. I know we fought and I managed to attack him with the scissors. I managed to get out of his grip.”
“What happened next?”
“Ed grabbed his head. He was suffering. Angry. Confused. I remember shouting to him that this wasn’t him. Then he put his whole arm in the furnace. I tried to pull him back but he pushed me away, screaming. It felt like his arm was in there forever; he pulled it out eventually and collapsed. Then I ran for help. It was distressing” she paused “He was so distressed, the smell and the noise and well….. honestly he looked like he was in some kind of psychosis or having a mental breakdown.”
“Did you hear from Mr Jerse again Miss Scully?”
“No, I know he was admitted to a burns centre and then went for a psychiatric consultation. My Partner told me. The next I heard about this was when I was served, I didn’t want to hear, it’s been a difficult few months”.
“You mentioned psychosis and mental breakdown” Preston made speech marks with his fingers. “Are you qualified to diagnose these conditions or does that require a specialist?”
“A Specialist would provide an official diagnosis. I can only speak from my training, both medically and with the FBI.”
“And prior to the conversation you had with Mr Jerse about the dye, was there anything Mr Jerse did that would lead you to believe he was mentally incapacitated?”
“No, Mr Preston. There was not”.
“You are a professional person Miss Scully. With a medical background, an active Special Agent with the FBI. You put yourself in a situation where you trusted this man with the most intimate acts, allowed him to use force with you. I am confident you wouldn’t have allowed an unstable person this kind of intimacy if you distrusted him?
“Objection Your Honour! Counsel is testifying!!”
“I have nothing further to add Your Honour” Preston walked slowly back to his desk.
“Mr Homer” The Judge looked to the Defence Attorney. He stood, buttoned his blazer and walked to the centre of the floor. Everything about the man looked mediocre. His mousy hair cut short, a brown blazer, matching pants, a non-descript tie and white shirt. He was forgettable, utterly forgettable.
He too started to talk through the timeline of events. Asking Scully easy, basic questions. He picked up on everything and anything that might evidence Jerse was even remotely crazy. “How did he react to the tattooist?”, “What state of repair was the apartment in?”, “What did he say about his divorce, his difficulties?” It wasn’t until he started with the questions about the morning after that Mulder felt like he was getting what he needed to support his case. Mulder listened intently; he could see Scully’s resolve starting to wane. She had been there for some time now.
“Miss Scully what did Mr Jerse say to you after you told him about the properties of the rye and the potential consequences?”
“He said he heard it, the tattoo in his head. She hates women I think he said. That she controlled him. He said the tattoo hated his wife. He looked manic. Head in his hands pleading with me. I was very concerned.”
“Then what happened?”
“I told him he needed to seek help and that I would help him. I got up to get dressed and dropped my Badge, my FBI Badge. When I returned that’s when he flipped and that’s when he attacked me”.
“Ok thank you Miss Scully. You mentioned you were both wound up, that it had been a hard few months. Why was that? Why were you both wound up?”
“Ed mentioned he was recently divorced in the bar, it was clear to me he was struggling with that battle. He was missing his children. The tattoo I think was to try and help him heal.”
“And you?”
“I was undergoing some tests myself, I knew I was unwell. I was waiting for confirmation. It’s been difficult.”
“You are unwell?” He looked surprised.
“I have terminal cancer, I knew then I think that I was on borrowed time. I didn’t really act like myself.”
There was a collective intake of breath around the room. Neither Attorney was expecting her response. Both looked shocked. Ed Jerse looked up and spoke for the first time. “Dana”. He sounded pained. Mr Homer, standing, leaned back on his desk.
“I’m very sorry to hear this” he said with sincerity.
“Thank you “. She replied.
“Thank you Miss Scully, is there anything more you would like to add?”
“Only that I have never seen a sane man try and burn the skin off his whole arm. I could see the battle happening in his head. It was traumatic. It’s a sight I certainly never want to see again. That wasn’t a sane act. It just wasn’t.”
“No further questions Your Honour”
The Judge responded. “Thank you, Mr Preston anything more from you?”
“No Your Honour”.
“Miss Scully thank you lets break for ten minutes”. The Judge stood moving towards his Chambers.
The Courtroom became a Hive of activity. Everyone standing and stretching. The testimony had been powerful, the kind of exchange that sucked oxygen out of the room. Skinner and Mulder stood with the crowd, unsure whether to wait there or meet her outside. They collected their coats from below their seats and started to follow the mass approaching the exits. Mulder looked back at Scully who remained seated. He could see her checking her pockets and as she looked up it was apparent why. Her nose was bleeding. Having found a Kleenex she cleaned up and exited the stand, walking with purpose towards Skinner and Mulder. “So”, said Skinner. “So” she echoed. “Let’s get out of here” Mulder replied and they exited the Courthouse. Mulder’s hand hovered at her lower back.
She led the way out of the Courthouse and walked directly towards a bench in the greenspace outside. It was a glorious day, a little cold but clear and with the promise of spring evident to anyone who looked.
They sat and waited for her to speak. After her testimony they did not know where to begin. The minutes dragged on, and on. After five minutes he knew she would not speak. They could people watch all day and nothing would change.
“Since when do you drink gin and tonic Scully?” He said quietly.
Then she laughed. Loud and clear. A full belly laugh. Skinner looked at them both, said “shit” and laughed too.
When she had stopped laughing she looked ahead and said. “I can never look either of you in the eye again. I’m ashamed of myself. Why are you here?” Her voice caught in her throat and broke. A single tear tracking the curve of her right cheek.
Skinner leaned forward, forearms on thighs and head lowered; he looked up to face her, “Dana, why wouldn’t we be?” Then he surprised Mulder. He leaned back, put his arm around her shoulders and drew her into a hug. Both arms holding her closely. Scully’s shoulders started to shake. She was silently crying. Skinner continued to talk, “You’ve seen both of us in embarrassing situations, saved our asses more times than can be counted.” He stroked her hair. “This makes you human. It’s ok to be human Dana. You did really well in there today. We were proud of you. Very proud.”
Scully pulled back with a wry smile. “Perhaps not one to mull over in the next performance review though?” “Maybe not” Skinner replied.
Mulder looked at them both. When did Skinner become so cuddly? He couldn’t quite believe Scully had allowed Skinner to hug her, like that, crying. Perhaps if he tried she might let him? God he wanted to. Skinner stood. “I need to collect my weapon from inside. I’ll be back shortly”. Skinner headed back to the Courthouse.
He shifted closer to her on the bench and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Shitty day” he said. “Shitty day” she repeated. It’s now or never he thought and twisted in his seat. Taking her hands in his he looked her directly in the eye. “That was difficult to hear today Scully.” She looked at him and said “It was difficult to say, especially knowing you were there.” Mulder nodded. Whispering she said, “Can we never speak of this again”, she glanced down, “I’m……..I’m mortified.” He smiled, “Ok, how about we say what happens in Philadelphia stays in Philadelphia?” She grinned, “I’m ok with that.” He lifted his hand and gently pushed a strand of her perfect hair behind her ear. With his hand still grazing her face he leaned in slowly and kissed her cheek on the tear track that had meandered to her chin. He felt her blush before he saw it, warmth radiating from her, this was it he thought. Brushing his lips to hers he kissed her gently. She responded, with feather light touch. He increased the pressure and she matched him. It was perfection. Exquisite. That’s enough for now he thought, breaking away and resting his forehead to hers. “Not everything has to stay here” he murmured. She smiled. “Maybe just the one souvenir from Philadelphia then”, she said grinning. He grinned back.
They returned to their original position. Her head on his shoulder. Him resting his hand in hers on her navy blue skirt. They people watched in silence. Skinner approached eventually. Strolling in their direction, “Well” he said. Scully replied “Gin? “Good enough” said Mulder and they walked towards the nearest bar.