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There aren’t many things on Kim Younghoon’s mind as he strolls down the frozen aisle of his local grocery store, shopping list half ticked in one hand and his phone on the other. Younghoon is distracted by the casual music playing on the background, the bright, colorful boxes of popsicles on display and the bags of frozen peas and—
“Hey, watch where you’re going, you-” The person starts saying, slightly annoyed, and then stops for some reason. Younghoon looks up and finds this short guy with white hair, booty shorts and flip flops, staring at him. He blinks a couple of times, squeezes his eyes and then opens his mouth in realization. “Oh my God. Younghoon? Is that you?”
There it is. The voice, the face, the legs, the hoodie. Of course, how could he forget?
“Chanhee?” Younghoon asks, just to confirm his mind isn’t playing tricks on him and that he isn’t mistaking a random guy for his ex-boyfriend of years ago. Choi Chanhee from Economics smiles with gums and everything, sighing in relief, and pulls Younghoon into a tight hug. “Oh my, hi, how are you? Wow, it’s been ages since the last time we saw each other, like what, ten years? What have you been up to?”
“Just working a lot, nothing special. Travelling around for work too, if it counts.” Chanhee says, sticking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, nestling the shopping basket in between his feet. Younghoon hates how Chanhee’s eyes gleam when he looks at him. “And you? What have you been up to?”
“Sadly, not much either. Just work, work and work.”
“Do you still model? I remember you used to do some gigs when we were in college.”
“Nah, not really. I like having a quiet life better, so I settled for a normal job. I work in a company now, 9 to 5 and all that. Pretty boring, I’d say, but I’m okay with it.”
“Cool. That’s cool. I’m glad you’re doing just fine.”
“You too. I mean. I’m glad things are working out for you too.”
A little girl comes running in their direction, big broad smile on her face as she runs to hug Younghoon’s leg. The smile, the eyes, the nose, the mouth; it isn’t hard to do the maths. That’s Younghoon’s daughter. “Dad! Did you get ice cweam?”
Younghoon suddenly remembers why he was there in the first place. He was supposed to pick out a pint of ice cream with low sugar and low saturated fat content because—
“Babe, do we have eggs at—” Kevin Moon asks, a tad confused. He stops right where he is, in front of the frozen dumplings, with a shopping list exactly like Younghoon’s in hands. Chanhee can’t help but notice they have matching phone cases. It’s cute. “Oh. Who is this?”
Oh, yes. Kevin. His husband.
“This is Chanhee. He’s an old, uh, friend. Back from college.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you, I’m Kevin, Younghoon’s husband. And this little goblin here is Hyunjin, our daughter.”
Our daughter.
It hits Chanhee like a punch in the stomach.
“Oh, Hyunjin-ah? That’s a beautiful name. Just like you.” Chanhee says, patting her head. She crinkles up her nose, pouting and then opening a big smile.
“I like him! Can Chanhee-hyung come have dinner with us? He’s a lot nicer than Sangyeon-hyung!”
“It’s oppa, Jinie. For boys it’s oppa.” Younghoon corrects. “Chanhee-oppa.”
“Then why don’t you call Sangyeon-hyung oppa, dad?” Hyunjin questions.
“Girls should call older boys oppa. Now, how does it go?”
“Chanhee-hyung!”
Younghoon sighs. “I give up. Anyways, sweets, you were saying? We’re out of eggs, if that’s what you’re asking. It’s on the top of our list. You probably missed it.”
Kevin stares at the list, then at Younghoon, and starts laughing. “You’re right, I missed it. I’m gonna get the eggs, milk and some fresh bread too. Meet me by the cashier in 15?”
“Sure.”
“Cool. Bye, Chanhee! It was a pleasure meeting you! Come on, Hyunjin, let’s go get you some pastries for you to take them to school.”
Kevin waves them goodbye, pushing the cart towards the end of the aisle, holding Hyunjin’s hand.
“Your family is beautiful. Hyunjin looks a lot like you. How did you guys do it?”
“In vitro fertilization with a surrogate. Hyunjin is turning 5 next weekend, by the way. You should come for her birthday party. I’m sure she’d love if you could come.”
“I’ll be out of town next week. Sorry. Maybe next time?”
“Of course. There’s always next time for birthdays. Lucky Hyunjin.”
Silence.
Younghoon feels all the 'I'm sorry's and 'I miss you's clump up at the back of his throat. There are so many things he'd like to say, so many things he wishes he was brave enough to say, but Younghoon isn't brave. It feels like the day Chanhee broke up with him, years ago, that he just watched Chanhee walk away without saying a word because he wasn’t brave enough to say anything to make him stay. It’s awkward like this, just the two of them in this mechanical and very awkward conversation; they’re not lovers, or friends, or acquaintances, even, and it isn’t that simple to just talk to someone Younghoon used to dream about getting married to and spending the rest of his life with. Younghoon know it isn’t simple. It’s been so long and yet nowhere near long enough for them to forget, specially when Chanhee is wearing his Business Class of 2020 hoodie after all these years.
So they just stand there.
In awkward silence.
“That’s my hoodie.” Younghoon points out.
“You never asked for it back, so I thought I’d just keep it. You can have it back if you want. I can drop it off at your place some other day or—”
“Keep it. Really, it’s not a big deal. I was just… surprised. I didn’t think you’d still have it.”
“I grew attached to it, I couldn’t throw it away after we...” Broke up. “Shouldn’t you go meet your family now?”
“You’re right. I’ll get going now. It was good to see you, Chanhee, we should go out for lunch together some time. To catch up.”
“Right, sure. See you around, I guess.”
“See you. Take care.”