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Never once would Yaz have considered the possibility of travelling in time, let alone space. Yet, this week has thrown her in so many directions (metaphorically and literally) and she couldn’t imagine going back to the her normal life, her lackluster job. She had always been restless, hoping to take on more responsibility than she could possibly handle. She was much like The Doctor in that respect. That’s probably why they got along so well.
Yaz had an excellent memory. Though she wouldn’t admit it, she knew it too. It was never too arduous a task for her to dig up some useless information she’d read once before or a more complex memory. She remembered the first time she kissed someone. A girl, her best friend. It was a joke mostly. She remembered how she felt about her but not why it was suddenly springing up again and teasing her heart. In the end there was no time to spare thinking about that particular train of thought.
The past two days were spent introducing Team Tardis to the ins and outs of the ship and the various rooms. It was frantic and invigorating taking such a risk. Three companions. Three friends. The Doctor hadn’t expected to make much of an impact in the friendship department only days after her regeneration. In fact, it is amazing that she has made it this far and even impressed humans in her deprived state. She could hardly recall her own skills, let alone use them to claim the interest of those around her. It had always felt like a task to encourage people to join her. She always had to ask and then there were all the disclaimers. But no, these humans asked her. They’re risking it all for her, to spend time with her. Albeit, Graham and Ryan enjoy the adventure and distraction but Yaz. She’s an enigma alright. Normally, it is the promise of time and space travel that reels in her companions and yet, Yaz had specified an interest in The Doctor herself.
Of course, The Doctor was aware that she had caught the attention of many past companions but not quite so soon and so… vehemently. Yaz had a habit of wearing her emotions plainly on her face. So much so that The Doctor didn’t feel like verbal conversation was always necessary between them. She could halfway explain something and Yaz would understand right away while Graham, for example, would be half clueless until someone elaborated on her behalf, normally Yaz.
It was because of this that The Doctor had held extreme uncertainty concerning the nature of her relationship with Yaz. She understood that this is something that couples would usually discuss but it isn’t unlike The Doctor to be outside of the usual. So, the confusion of her regenerative fuzz lead her to conclude that she and Yaz may in fact be pursuing a romantic relationship. Her brain was cluttered with snapshots of Yaz smiling and adoring and complimenting, all things which The Doctor happily returned twice over. She worried about being over eager and distorting some form of human social etiquette but Yaz was already so open about her admiration and The Doctor was in no way opposed to heavy affection in a relationship.
However, it all began to feel a little bit off when Yaz’s mum asked if they were seeing each other. The Doctor had left the floor open for Yaz to admit what she wished but the outcome had left her with more questions than before. In that moment, Yaz had twisted her features in a nervous, disbelieving way and looked to The Doctor to confirm her mum was being ridiculous. It made The Doctor feel ridiculous.
From here, every waking moment (and that was nearly all of them) had The Doctor’s mind following threads of thought that didn’t add up. They weren’t clear, still jilted from the inadequate rest post-regeneration. This generation’s modest remembrance of human etiquette is throwing off every fibre of her being when it comes to Yaz. There was a snap and she remembered the most basic human characteristic. Talking. In theory they make it seem simple but oh no, it was an arduous task. Not really the talking part but the removing-all-the-nonsense part. The Doctor’s tongue liked to ramble on about useless observations and at this point she had accepted her title as ‘socially awkward.’ She came to this conclusion as she attempted to articulate a sentence in the silence for way too long.
So far the day had been spent in hushed tones. Ryan and Graham were together speaking privately and both women knew better than to interrupt them. While Yaz had been sat humming rhythmically and reading assorted papers that were stored away in the Tardis, The Doctor was shuffling around, tapping her hands and feet on every surface with absolutely no rhythm. Every once in a while she would fiddle with some buttons or a lever causing Yaz to briefly glance up and give her a questioning look. The Doctor would just give a lopsided grin and wave her hand dismissively. This was hopeless.
The Doctor cleared her throat. She had been for the past ten minutes, Yaz began to ignore her after the first five.
“We aren’t seeing each other?”
“Sorry?” Yaz’s head sprang up from her crouched position.
“You and I. We. …Us--” The Doctor fumbled now, attempting to lean back against the console casually but missing by an inch and catching herself before she fell and embarrassed herself even more.
Yaz flutters her hands as she speaks, “no, hold on… This is what you’ve been focused on for the last ten minutes?”
“Well,” The Doctor screwed up her nose and dropped her head to the side in faux intense thought, “probably something more like two days but--”
“Did you think we were seeing each other?”
The Doctor’s tone changes to part distress, part concern, part confusion. “Wasn’t I obvious? I swear I’ve done this before. I had a wife -- Have I mentioned that? -- Anyway, I had a wife! She was lovely and she loved me very much. I think? No, she definitely did! Have you ever had a wife? Don’t answer that--”
Yaz couldn’t help giggling. She quickly covered her mouth but it had already been noticed. It was unbelievably endearing to be on the other end of this exchange. Yaz had had her fair share of awkward admissions but she was nowhere near the level of The Doctor’s rapid speech. She found it hard to believe that this is the same woman who she had looked to as leader during a huge spider epidemic… On second thoughts, this is the same woman but this time her confusion is revolving around romance of all things. She had seen this woman fight aliens, spiders, evil alien rags.
“I don’t know anything about courtship between two women, I’m still figuring this out!” The Doctor all but huffed out as she mussed up the hair at the back of her head.
Yaz holds back a snort at ‘courtship’ and turns in her seat to give the woman her full attention, leaning forward -- elbows on knees, head on hands. “You really are a mystery, Doctor, you know that?”
“Well,” She gazed off into the middle distance, picking at the skin around her nails and avoiding any eye contact.
“You silly woman,” As Yaz got up to approach she noticed The Doctor turn away further still not looking her way. Yaz lay a hand against her forearm, the slight heat almost overwhelming, “but, you’re still the best person I’ve ever met.”
It was silly. The way her hearts tripped over those words. It was her second time hearing it and yet the coursing of her blood was just as rapid, maybe even more so. The rush proved a perfect distraction as Yaz fingers danced down past The Doctor’s wrist to her hand. Fingers linked in one hand and the other steadily moving to a shoulder, sliding to the side of the neck, all The Doctor was worried about was that Yaz could feel her pulses. Her flashing synapses didn’t have time to consider what these actions indicated.
“Wait,” Yaz began to pull back, thinking she had horribly misread the situation. The Doctor replaced Yaz’s hands where they were and immediately felt a little childish, “no, uh, so you do like me?”
Yaz squeezed their interlocked fingers and pressed down on The Doctor’s neck. Her expression morphed once again, her lips curled into that sweet adoring smile and eyes widened in loving disbelief. Her Doctor really was quite silly.
The first kiss was simple, only a brief peck, but, unable to read any of the signals and in her own disbelief, The Doctor was caught off guard in the most pleasant way possible. Yaz considered her with an almost imperceptible look of incredulity. She leaned in this time, poppies had bloomed on her neck and cheeks but she didn’t have time to control the reaction in her fervor. Used to more height, she advanced at a much faster rate than necessary. They bumped noses but neither mentioned it, though The Doctor swore she felt Yaz hold back another giggle.
The embrace steadily grew more feverish. Yaz had brought both her hands up to cradle The Doctor’s face and they turned their heads with brilliant synchronicity, the early fumbling forgotten. The Doctor felt as though she hadn’t had a proper kiss in years. Perhaps it had been? The cobwebs of regeneration still crowded her memories but this moment right now was fresh and not soon to be forgotten. Her mind put together a bulleted list of the minute details while her hands shifted in anticipation. There were long moments spent with her furling and unfurling her fingers at her side before she was resting them on Yaz’s sides. The movement down to her hips was pure intuition. Thank God for muscle memory. It was easy to ignore the clumsiness of her actions when Yaz proceeded so naturally.
The Doctor took a step back, spine arching as Yaz encouraged her to lean against the console. She hoped she wouldn’t hit any troublesome buttons or switches. One of Yaz’s hands drifted to the console beside The Doctor’s hip to steady herself. The proximity and mingling of breath was hard to describe. Their motions seemed to invite each other to continue their unpracticed duet, neither really knowing where they would end up.
When Yaz leaned back she was breathing slightly faster and her lips were stained by their affection and The Doctor had no doubt hers were the same. Her eyes snapped open the moment Yaz pulled back hoping to catch a glimpse of what that moment meant because so far she had completely misinterpreted. However, luck was not on her side as Yaz took her quiet breaths, eyes remaining closed.
“I think…” Yaz began before taking a short inhale, unintentionally teasing The Doctor’s frantic impatience.
“Yeah?”
Yaz’s eyes dragged open and that smile was back again when she put her eyes upon the doctor. That swelling feeling in her stomach she had felt the first time she kissed a girl continued, “I think this is the longest you’ve gone without rambling.”
The Doctor couldn’t help the loud, relieved laugh she let out as she threw her head back, clouded by the thrill of what had just happened. Yaz was holding her hand again, still regarding her with that incredible smile, and the joy in the room was palpable. Maybe The Doctor would never get a hold of social cues but the bliss obscures these doubts. She’ll get there in the end. She cleared her throat once more.
“So that I know, for future reference, are we seeing each other?”