Work Text:
Celes was staring at the glass of red wine in her hand, humming softly.
'So, you're saying your classmates live across the hall, yes?' she repeated Toujou's own words back at her.
'Yes, Celes-san. They're quite good friends of mine,' confirmed the maid, standing stiffly beside Celestia's fancy black table, hypnotized by the wine as well.
'Vulgar girl and loud boy, correct?' Celes confirmed, looking over at Toujou from the corner of her eye. 'I never would have expected them to be your friends.'
'Indeed,' Toujou nodded. 'Iruma-san is a famous and talented inventor. We...used to be quite close,' she blushed and cleared her throat. 'Ouma-kun is the leader of a secret organisation I can't share much about. He appears to be quite powerful, despite his appearance.'
'I see,' Celestia hummed, taking a sip out of her glass.'I've seen them a few times, but never paid much attention to them,' she narrowed her eyes, 'perhaps I should. In any case,' she turned towards Toujou with a gentle smile, 'you wanted to pay them a visit, yes? That's a lovely idea. I shall read a book while you're gone, and we might have tea when you're back.'
'Thank you, Celes-san,' Toujou bowed, and Celes grabbed her shoulder gently. The height difference between them was considerable, but unnoticeable when Celes wore high heels.
'No need to thank me, darling. You deserve some time off, and I'm in an exceptionally good mood today. I hope you will have a splendid time there,' she said sincerely, but with a firm undertone. Toujou realised she might not get many days off, despite (or perhaps because of) becoming Celestia Ludenberg's semi-official lover. She's had worse deals in life, really. At the very least, Celes was an attractive woman her age, who was treating her quite well.
'I shall take my leave. I will be next door should you need me. I'm taking my phone, too,' she informed as Celestia kissed her cheek, waving goodbye with her pale hand. Toujou bowed and opened the door.
A minute later, she found herself standing in front of the others' door, knocking on it politely yet firmly. She heard some muffled voices and the door opened.
'Oh, thank god, it's Toujou-chan! Quick, come on in!' Ouma threw all those words at her before dragging her inside and closing the door behind her. She blinked repeatedly, startled, before looking around.
That was a mistake.
It started small, she noticed an odd can or two on the floor. But then Ouma grabbed her hand, babbling about how he's glad it's just her and not a cop or another neighbour, and led her into Iruma's room, where...nothing could have prepared her for the sight to come.
'Yo, goth tits, long time no see!' she heard a familiar voice. She instinctively turned in its direction and nearly went into cardiac arrest.
'Excuse me...what is going on here?' she asked as calmly as possible.
'We're making a baby!' explained Ouma from behind her, carrying another can in his hand. 'Here you go, stinky bitch-chan!' he chirped, handing it to Iruma.
'..Oh?' Toujou covered her mouth, somewhere between confusion and disgust, both at the words and the sight in front of her.
Iruma's desk was covered in all sorts of papers, which she assumed to be reference sheets of some sort. On the floor beside the desk was a variety of cardboard boxes with all sorts of metal parts inside. And between all that was a trail of empty and almost-empty beer and soda cans, some of them on the desk, some on the floor a majority of them knocked over. Iruma was currently kneeling in front of one of the cardboard boxes with a screwdriver. Her hair was done up in a bun to keep her hair from falling onto her face, and her hands and overalls were covered in oil marks. Ouma jumped onto her bed, playing with a slightlly bigger screwdriver.
'I may be ignorant on the matter, but I don't recall children being made this way,' she said weakly, leaning against the wall. Iruma and Ouma looked at each other briefly.
'We can't really do it any other way, thanks to mister no-dick over here.'
'It's not like you'd want to anyway!'
'Yeah, I can't imagine being that desperate,' she shuddered and looked over at Toujou. 'Anyway, we're not making a literal baby. We're making a robot to be my baby,' she explained with a sense of pride, '...your face tells me you still don't get it. Sit down and watch. Want a beer?'
'No, thank you,' Toujou declined firmly, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'Is the mess part of the process, if I may ask?'
'Kinda?' Iruma shrugged, 'it's dirty walk, alright, and ain't nobody got time to get rid of this shit. I'm gonna pass out the instant I'm done. Probably even before then. Why, wanna help?'
'I'd like to clean up if I can, yes,' she nodded hopefully.
'Be my guest, all our cans are yours,' Iruma informed and compared the part she was holding with the reference. 'Oi, twink, get your ass over here and give me that huge-ass screwdriver!'
'Right on, dearest bitch-chan!' Ouma hummed, handing Toujou a can on his way. 'By the way, Toujou-chan, there's a trashbag in my room if you want it.'
'Thank you, that'll be quite helpful,' she bowed her head and headed towards the room.
There was another kind of hell awaiting her there.
'Ouma-kun, are these your clothes?' she asked weakly.
'Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to pick them up. Whoops!'
'May I take care of them as well?' her hands were itching to fix the mess.
'I'm not gonna stop ya!' he responded in a sing-songy voice. Toujou let out a dejected sigh. One thing at a time. That's the way to go. That's always the way to go.
She grabbed the bag and followed the trail of cans, from Ouma's room to Iruma's desk. While Iruma was completely focused on her work, Ouma was definitely watching her with amusement. Even as an adult, he always avoided doing chores. Toujou realised, with absolute certainty, that she would have to come clean up his mess again and again. It was her job, and usually her pleasure, but a cheer of realisation still ran up her spine.
Finally, she picked up all the cans and set the bag aside in the hall. She felt clapping from Iruma's room.
'Good job, Toujou-chan!' cheered Ouma, and she couldn't tell how much of that was mockery.
'Ouma-kun, do you have a laundry basket?' she asked, looking at the underwear lying all over his floor.
'Uuhh...' he put his finger up to his chin, 'it should be in the bathroom, I think,' he informed hesitantly. Toujou walked over to the bathroom, expecting another tragedy to greet her at the doorstep. Luckily for her, there was no mess there, and she found the basket soon enough.
She went back to Ouma's room and picked up his undergarments one by one, shuddering just a little. She brought the basket back to the bathroom, and put the contents inside the washing m machine.
'Would you want me to prepare tea?' she asked upon re-entering Iruma's room.
'Sure, the li'l freak loves tea. It should be in the cupboard,' Iruma informed from the floor as Ouma made excited noises. Toujou entered the kitchen, and there she realised her sense of security was false and deadly.
It appeared nobody had washed the dishes the day before. A few plates and glasses in the sink, along with various types of cutlery. Luckily, witth only two people living there, it wasn't as much as it could have been.
Toujou took a deep breath.
She walked in and, after about a minute, located the tea and cups. She prepared the drinks skillfully, experienced from preparing similar ones for Celestia every day. God, how sehe missed that at the moment.
She carried the cups into Iruma's room, handed Ouma his, and set Iruma's on the floor where she wouldn't knock it over. She bowed gracefuly and rushed back into the kitchen, regretting her life decisions.
Washing the dishes took her about an hour, just in time for the laundry to be done. She ran over to the bathroom and took the clothes out, setting them out to dry. She made a mental note to remind Ouma to take them back.
By the time she limped back into Iruma's room, it was time for her to go.
'Excuse me, I have to take my leave now. Celes-san would hate it if I were late,' she informed, bowing slightly. 'Ouma-kun, take the clothes back into your room when they dry, please.'
'Okie-dokie!' Ouma exclaimed, waving goodbye at her.
'See ya, goth tits. Come back anytime, maybe when we're not working our asses off,' Iruma snarked from the floor.
Toujou left, and immediately entered her own apartment.
'Oh, Toujou-san, are you okay? You look quite pale,' Celes said with concern, her eyes wide. 'Perhaps a day off was a bad idea?'
Toujou flung her body onto the nearest chair and exhaled sharply, looking at the door.
'It quite certainly was.'